Home » Units 13 & 14 – Nailing the Fiction Script

Units 13 & 14 – Nailing the Fiction Script

MES153 0902 (Tuesdays) | MES153 1000 (Thursdays)

KEEP REVISING

  1. FOUR DRAFTS OF THE FICTION SCRIPT

One big takeaway from this class is: Writing is rewriting. Screenwriting — like most writing — is a process that requires a lot of revising. Through the process of revision, the writer gets to know the story better and gets closer and closer to tell the story they want to tell and get to what it is they are trying to say. Over time the structure becomes more solid, the conflict sharper, and the overall story more engaging.

So how to revise? What to change?

First address all the problems in the feedback on the graded homework. There are copious notes on the drafts and in the feedback section of Brightspace.

After fixing all the issues pointed out there, time to grab some low-hanging fruit. One easy fix is to read through your script — or do a search — and remove all “starts to,” “decides to,” and “goes to” from your sentences. The starting and deciding are not important — it’s the doing that we see. So just include the main verb indicating what they actually do.

While revising loglines, treatments, and scripts, students should focus on the essential elements of a story. Make sure your script includes:

  • an active protagonist whose personality is apparent through actions and visuals. The protagonist should drive the action forward.
  • a crystal clear want of the protagonist. There should be no doubt at any point in the script why the protagonist takes the action they take.They are going after a specific goal – Marlin wants to ensure their son is never harmed by the big, bad ocean; Michael Corleone wants to be sure to never take over the family’s criminal business; Andrea “Andy” Sachs wants to be a serious journalist…
  • an antagonist who makes it exceedingly difficult for the protagonist to get what they want.
  • obstacles to the protagonist’s want. With the script making clear what the protagonist is trying to achieve or attain, the story must also include major hurdles to the protagonist from reaching that goal. These obstacles are the conflict in the story, a key ingredient without which the story does not engage.
  • change in the protagonist from who the character is at the beginning of the story (and how they view the world) to who they are at the end. This change must come about through the trials and tribulations and experiences the protagonist dealt with in the story.

HOW TO FORMAT MONTAGES, PHONE CALLS

For general formatting help, see the section below on formatting and watch the videos.

But several students have a montage and/or a phone call in their scripts, so here’s how to format those.

MONTAGE FORMATTING IN A SINGLE LOCATION

Start with a scene heading to indicate that a montage is beginning. Then use bullet points to describe each frame.

INT. GYM – DAY

MONTAGE – JIM’S TRAINING

-Jim does one-arm push-ups
-Jim sprints up a hill
-Jim punches the heavy bag with increasing speed
-Jim runs up the museum steps and throws his arms up

END

MONTAGE FORMATTING IN MULTIPLE LOCATIONS

MONTAGE – JANE PREPARES FOR THE INTERVIEW

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Jane tries on several different outfits.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Jane spills coffee on her shirt.

INT. SUBWAY – DAY

Jane reviews interview questions on her phone.

END MONTAGE

FORMATTING A PHONE CONVERSATION (ONE METHOD)

To format a phone conversation where both characters in different locations can be seen talking, use the intercut method. (For other ways, see here.)

intercut format

TO FINALIZE SCRIPT, KEEP IN MIND TWO GUIDING PRINCIPLES

  1. The story MUST unfold through images, sounds and on-screen action.The screenwriter’s job is to describe those things vividly, focusing on what the protagonist wants, the action s/he takes to get it, and the obstacles encountered on that quest.Remember: films show a physical world depicted on screen, and so short descriptions of locations are needed, and screenwriters should find ways to use the physical objects in the protagonist’s world to help tell the story.Never explain why somsething is happening. Avoid telling what is happening. And focus on SHOWING action that the viewer will watch and from that ascertain what is going on in the story.Find and describe actions that the characters take that allow the viewer (and the script reader) to understand intent because their wants are so crystal clear.
  2. Character wants and action verbs are critical. Your character MUST WANT something, and take a course of action to get it. And the antagonist must take action in direct opposition of the protagonist’s want and actions to achieve/attain it.

SCENE CHECK FOR ALL SCENES IN SCRIPT

By now you should have a good idea of story structure. But as you revise your screenplay, you should tighten the story up as much as possibly. This means:

  • getting rid of unnecessary scenes (ask yourself: can the story work without this scene, and if the answer is yes, lose the scene)
  • making sure your paragraphs are short and only include information that can be portrayed on screen
  • up the story,
  • and trimming the dialog way down.

Re-read every scene and make sure the following three things are present in all scenes:

  1. The main character’s WANT/GOAL
  2. The COURSE OF ACTION THE protagonist takes to get the GOAL/WANT
  3. THE OBSTACLE  that prevents her/him from achieving the goal

It cannot be stressed enough how important all three of these requirements are but especially this last one. Without a complication in the scene – the problem – the conflict — there is no drama. Without conflict the audience cannot engage and thus will not care about the protagonist or story.

CHARACTER TRANSFORMATION

You should also look at your character at the start and at the end. Has your protagonist changed? (The answer should be yes, and if it’s no, then you have more work to do.)

There should be an obvious arc of growth in your protagonist, such that they are a profoundly different character in some regard by the story’s end.

STORY TIPS: A FEW WORDS ON DIALOG WRITING

USE MINIMAL DIALOG – LET IMAGES & ACTIONS TELL THE STORY

First thing to note: Writing great dialogue is NOT easy, there’s an art to it. Read scripts by Preston Sturges, Billy Wilder, Elaine May, Aaron Sorkin, Alan Ball, Quentin Tarantino and you’ll find masters of that art. Most non-professional screenplays have issues with dialogue.

Non-professional writers often have too much, redundant, uninteresting or unnecessary dialogue in their scripts. Such dialogue bores readers and slows the read. If you want your screenplay to sell, keep your dialogue interesting, engaging and tight.

In screenwriting, it is good to heed the adage SILENCE IS GOLDEN.

How to Avoid Common Dialog Mistakes

  • Having too much talking takes away time and space for strong action which is ESSENTIAL; write as LITTLE dialog as possible.
  • Screen dialogue is different from real-life dialogue
  • Real-life dialogue is often uninteresting and rarely engaging for an outsider, it frequently also contains a lot of unnecessary padding, small talk and the like
  • Screen dialogue has to be different
  • Screen dialogue MUST be tight, interesting, engaging whilst also being realistic and authentic (to a character’s life experience, job, back story etc)
  • Each character SHOULD speak with their own distinct voice.
  • Good screenwriting is often conflict-laden or has undercurrents of drama or conflict — which keeps the reader engaged with the story. An example from The Godfather, a line that acts as almost a prelude to his tragic downfall in which he actually becomes the part of his family he had tried to avoid: “That’s my family, Kay. It’s not me.”

For this course (and as a general rule of thumb in screenwriting):

  • Keep dialog to a minimum. Silent scenes really are excellent ways to help you master the craft of screenwriting
  • No character’s dialog should be longer than three lines. If you write it longer, cut it down to fewer than three lines before you turn it in.

SCREENPLAY FORMATTING

USE CELTX. CHOOSE CORRECT SCREENPLAY CATEGORY VIA DROPDOWN MENU

Reading the screenplays here on OpenLab should help you get an idea of what the script should look like in terms of capitalizing certain words and not others, in terms of the margins for the different categories. (See below.) Celtx helps deliver on formatting.

In addition, here are other resources to make sure you get the formatting right.

Studiobinder’s Formatting a Screenplay primer: https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/brilliant-script-screenplay-format/

 

 

FINALLY, READ. SEE HOW THE PROS DO IT, AND MODEL IT.

Movie Scripts

SHORTS

FEATURE SCREENPLAYS AND TV SCRIPTS