My name is Lisa Blamfort, I was born and raised in Haiti a country when we adopt only the binary gender and nothing else matter because of our religion and cultural beliefs or maybe because we are a 3rd world and our school system fail us to teach us about gender and equality in a society where everybody is unique and different inside and outside. I spent my preschool, middle school and high school in a catholic school where they teach me being gay, trans or others is an abomination against Yahweh AKA God and we are going to burn in hell at the end of the world, because of the pressure of the school I never fully develop my gender identity it was impossible for me explore my options because the system didn’t give me one. After my high school years I decided to study law to become a judge but my parents didn’t agree because they felt like it was a job for a tough man but not for a sweet girl like me but I didn’t listen to them and went to law school anyway and spent one year before I moved in United States.
When I moved here everything was different the food, the diversity of race, culture and religion and more importantly the diversity of the population. This is the country that I have seen a gay, trans, cis for the first time on Tv in RuPaul Drag race and that was amazing to watch. I do really love the country because they teach about tolerance and self-love in a daily basis and everywhere.
Now that I am here decided to study Accounting and become a CPA and yet my parents again told me to study nursing, because I am girl and I need to act like one and choose a girly career.
I am someone who is calm, ambitious, competitive like a man, but I am not a lesbian even if some of my friends think that I am gay, but I told them I am not attracted to woman. It is just for me woman was considered always as a weak and vulnerable individual and I know I am not, and I don’t like that. Some of them call me strong woman but I hated that more, I am just an independent human being who doesn’t put herself down and see herself as a girl and a boy, I embraced both like gender as the assignment of meaning to bodies. Physically I look and sound like a woman but mentally I think like a man. Maybe that’s the reason growing up I always want to be a boss like those CEO that I usually see on Television. Coming here is a life changing for me because I can appreciate myself and feel proud of myself without being call crazy, gay or a “guy wanna be”.
Hi Lisa. You have a very unique yet common perspective on gender, at least to me. I also grew up in the Caribbean and went to catholic school for most of my life. I understand how hard it is to come out from such a dormant culture to try and find exactly who you are and what you want. I loved reading this. And I love your perspective on the matter.
Thanks Adynah, i still have a long way to go you know.
Hi Lisa! Your story has helped me understand different perspectives.
This reminds me of how at one point in my life I did not want to be known as a “typical” Mexican girl, I was afraid people would judge me by my intelligence, looks, accent and articulation. I associated being Mexican with bad aspects, specifically because I had moved to the U.S as a child and it was a challenging experience. I eventually learned from this, I am now proud of my roots and I dissolved my wrong perceptions, though being a third culture kid and a 1.5 generation individual has led me to not claim a nationality. Like you said you have always associated women with weakness, but maybe you would like to explore what it means to think like a man (based on your last statement).
I see women as strong and powerful, particularly because my mother is single mother. I admire women so much that I do not dare call myself a woman out of respect (unless I have to for formality purposes), because I believe that I still have so much to learn. But again by doing so I might be reinforcing binary genders. This is all very complex.
By the way I admire your willingness to step up and pursue your dream of becoming a CPA!
Stephany A Pineda Cardoso thanks a lot, be proud of who you are, my country is one of the poorest one of the caribbean but this is my roots. “If you don’t know where you come from you don’t know where you are going”