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Anta Goumbala:final project

Feminist Memoir

In Ijeoma’s article, “Because you’re a Girl,” she discusses her experience living in Nigeria in a family that there were distinct gender roles. The issue of gender roles in a society there is usually the expectation that is placed. I lived in a family and community that valued gender roles, and we were supposed to conform to them and do as per what the community dictated. When as young girls, we were not allowed to go out unless accompanied by our brothers. In Ijeoma’s article, she talks about how she was raised in a country where a set of rules was created to define a woman’s responsibility to her family in her community. As a child, she was required to prepare meals for the family, take care of her brothers and attend school. Despite all this, she did not disrespect her parents, and she did as she was supposed to. Ijeoma got a way to express herself and her true identity in school, where she could control her destiny.

These experiences are some that almost all of us go through. My life was almost the same because we would do more chores than our brothers despite being of the same age in the house. The issue of gender inequality raises many questions all over the world today. The roles that we are taught are usually different depending on gender. Elements in intersectionality interact and intertwine, and this results in unique identities for individuals. We all have our own experiences of discrimination and oppression. Therefore, we must consider everything that marginalizes people in terms of gender, class, race, and sexual orientation. Through intersectionality, I was able to understand the roles that the different genders play in society.

Intersectionality means that through the experiences we have gone through, there might have been marginalization that has happened to us. In intersectionality, there is the assertion that several sources of oppression often disadvantages people (Anzaldua, 1987). There is the recognition that identity markers do not exist independent of each other, and each informs the other in a way that creates a convergence of oppression. From my experience, gender, color, and class converged to make my life. As a woman of color, some expectations were placed on me, and most of the time, I got minimal opportunities.

The earliest memory I had about my gender was the fact that while our brothers were allowed to go out and play, we were only allowed to do that on the condition that our brothers accompanied us. As girls in the family, we were not very much allowed the freedom to leave the house. There was no equality at all, and most of the time, we were left to do the house chores while the boys are out playing. There was a way that we were supposed to behave even around the house. This influenced how my life turned, and as I grew up, I knew the roles that I was supposed to do as a woman. In Ijeoma’s article, she states that she was supposed to take care of her brothers and cook for her family despite going to school. This shows inequality whereas as a girl you have to do more than boys although you are of the same age.

From the society that I lived there were so many gendered expectations that we went through. I learned so much from these gendered expectations and knew my position as a girl. For instance, as girls, we were always expected to be in the house before 7 o’clock, and my parents were very strict about this. There are usually expectations that society puts on and expects the different genders to adhere to dressing, behavior, and presentation. I knew that my parents expected my brothers to be aggressive and bold (Collective, 1977). As girls, my mother always told us to be polite, accommodating, and nurturing. I learned that society consistently placed some values in how we carried ourselves, and we were always supposed to conform to the expectations. In school, things changed a bit as we were all treated equally, and that is where I could express my identity well. Even though in school, things were different, there were still some levels of expectations placed on us. As girls, there was a way that we were treated by teachers in school, which was sometimes different from how boys were treated. All these gave me lessons to know my position as a girl in society at all times. At one time, my mother denied us playing time but allowed the boys and said that we are not expected to be outside all the time because, as girls, we are not expected to be outside.

I have come to accept some things that society has put in as gender norms throughout my life. However, there are some gender norms that I have been able to challenge because I don’t believe in them. For instance, as a girl is supposed to be always in the house, I challenged because I believe that both boys and girls are supposed to be given enough time to socialize. In the article by Ijeoma, at one time, as she was washing the dishes and her cousin approached her, telling her to hurry up so that he could drink water. She felt frustrated by this, and she ended up having an outburst with her cousin. I have constantly challenged the idea of objectifying women to men throughout my life, and I believe all should be treated equally. Despite all these expectations, there is supposed to be equal treatment. There are so many other gender norms that I have accepted, like how I am supposed to present myself and how I dress, which to me is more of my character.

In life, whether in terms of family, friendships, or relationships, gender plays a significant role. In many of my friendships that I have had, we are usually equal, and we treat each other that way. In the work that I do, there is usually Equality when it comes to payment, and anybody can do any job without considering gender. In the relationships and friendships that I have been in, there are gender plays a significant role in that there is a way that I am supposed to present myself. As a woman in friendships that I have been in, I am supposed to be humble and most of the time, it is the men who make decisions on what we are supposed to do. At times, I usually quarreledwith my male friends because they want to dictate everything and believe that we as ladies should be passive. A friend of mine was in a relationship, and his boyfriend was always insisting that all decisions were supposed to come from him, and my friend would ask before doing anything. In such relationships, gender plays a role as the man becomes the leader and always tells the girl what to do. Gender here is what dictates the decisions to be made and who is to make what decisions. In our family, gender played a role; there were things that I have done in the house because, as a girl, my parents restricted me. My parents always insisted that we were supposed to do the house chores for us,although the boys could help. An experience that I had was when I visited a neighbor and found out that in the house, it was exclusively girls who were supposed to make meals and do all house chores. Gender played a huge role in my parents’ choices, and up to date, my mother is usually skeptical about some things that I do, which she thinks should be reserved for boys. My parents always maintained that many house chores were supposed to be done by the girls, and the boys would only help. When it came to opportunities, boys were always given priority,and I remember one time I complained to my father about it. He had to change and start giving all of us equal opportunities.

According to my, feminism is all about giving equal opportunities to both genders. Feminism should be about affording Equality for opportunities and spaces where there is level ground for all. I can define feminism as having equal opportunities for all genders and having a level playing field for the genders where no gender feels marginalized. Most of the time, women and girls are not given opportunities, and feminism addresses this by ensuring equal opportunities. Feminism is essential because it promotes Equality and affords every gender the best opportunities to excel and do well. With Equality, everyone will be able to do better and have the chance to excel.

References

Anzaldúa, G. (1987). Borderlands/La frontera: The new mestiza.

Collective, C. R. (1983). The Combahee river collective statement. Homegirls: A Black feminist anthology, 264-74.

Collective, C. R. (1977). ‘A Black Feminist Statement’ (pp. 210-218). na.

Assessment

I feel that my project met my goals because I could discuss all that appertains feminism in the memoir. I linked my experience very well and discussed all that the materials had. From the help that I got from the instructor and others, I incorporated it into the project by looking at where I was corrected and made sure that I did it to my best. My project has used every excellentexperience, and I think that is my project strength. If I had more time, I would continue so that I can discuss more insights. I enjoyed explaining my experiences, although it was somehow difficult to link them to what the materials had.

I have done my best in the project; hence, I deserve an A forexcellent work.

Claudia Domfeh-osafo, Final project

Being a ghanain woman in my family comes with a lot of expectations for me to follow.This memoir is about me being expected to dress , look and act a certain way. I am oppressed in many ways but yet I benefit from my family’s expectations for me. My family apart from my mother also have expectations from me, to the point that I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Not following expectations from my family leads to consequences. I’ve seen first hand how my family reacted to a family member that did not follow expectations, that has made me fearful of breaking rules. It is really important for me to follow these rules because I want to feel accepted by family and not feel as if I’m the odd one out.

I remember being around the age of 13 and my mother and I having a conversation on how I should carry myself as a young lady. My expectations of being a woman is to dress respectfully, meaning not showing too much skin, not dressing provocatively. These expectations are expected by my family but since i’ve been hearing about this for my whole life it started to be an expectation for myself to follow.I asked my mother why I have these expectations. She began to say that it was because of the home we come from. My mother was raised the same way and she told me that if someone was supposed to see me like that, they would think that i didn’t come from a home and i don’t respect myself. My expectations are more than just clothes, it’s more of a representation of my family and me. I am not allowed to have tattoos or smoke, or drink and party till like 12:00 Am, not saying i want to, but in my family if you have or do either or they will view you as a thug or someone who is not educated. In my family to be viewed as a thug or uneducated, it means you don’t have respect for yourself , you’re always doing something you’re not supposed to do which is something my family can’t stand. It’s unacceptable in my family because image is everything to them, they don’t want outsiders to think that they have family members who don’t care about themselves. Same for piercings and long colorful nails. I can have a piercing but it has to be one and appropriate size, not huge hoop earrings. As for nails, it definitely can not be long and colorful. According to my Grandmother “If you have long nails in my family that means you can’t cook or clean and if you can’t cook or clean you’re not a woman”. To elaborate on the quote not a woman, a woman is supposed to clean and cook in the house, so if you don’t do that you’re worthless in your own home, according to my family. Having colorful nails is not acceptable, as a woman you should on have neutral colors, nothing that stands out, that is unlady like. As for my hair, I am allowed to have any hair style I want but nothing crazy, such as colorful hair or a mohawk, things of that sort are not allowed in my family. If I was supposed to show that to my elder family members back home they would look at me in disgust. I’ve never experienced this personally but I’ve seen how my family reacted to colorful hair styles and they were judging people when looking at them on the television. As a ghanain women I am required to do certain things. I am supposed to dress respectfully, meaning cover up everything. I am supposed to wear either heels or flats, skirts or dresses and pants are ok and shorts but not too short. I am expected to go to school and finish college and have a successful career. When I choose a partner he also has to be going to school and finishing college and also look presentable. If my partner does not have all the qualities that my family wants, it will look really bad on me.

I remember going to Ghana a year ago and meeting my family. When I arrived at my grand uncle’s home, I remember covering my ears because I was scared that he was going to see that I have two piercings in my ear. When I was around the whole family they were asking questions about my life and what I am doing. I made sure to tell them that I was in college to become a psychologist. At first they didn’t look happy, so i made sure to tell them the details on how i was going to get my M.D and become a licensed psychiatrist that prescribed medicine to the patient. My family began to say “oh so you’re going to college to become a doctor” out of all i said they just heard about doctors, they didn’t care about the field i was working on, they just expected me to become a doctor with a successful career. So I just told them yes. Everybody was happy and telling me that they are proud of me and I’m becoming the woman they expect me to be. There was this one incident where i was not conscious of what i was wearing. My grandmother saw it and said I looked like a mad man because I had ripped jeans on. Another time I had a maxi dress and she told me to take it off and put something else on because the back was showing too much. I Began to feel really bad about how I was dressing and began to be more conscious than I was before on my appearance.

I never knew what the major consequences would happen if one of the females did not follow the expectations until I saw first hand what my family did to my aunt. My aunt was 16 years old when she had my little cousin. That has to be one of the worst things to do in the family because to the outside world she seems like a fast woman trying to do grown up things, which will make the family look bad. Not only did she have a baby at 16 she also did not finish school and as of right now she kind of goes to men to men and her daughter that is 18 right now does the same online. My family knows that they are that way and have shunned her and her daughter. Shuning in my family is ignoring you anytime you come around and judging you all the time. After seeing the way my family treats my aunt and cousin made me more scared into breaking expectations. I want to feel accepted, my family not shunned. It will break my heart if that was the case with me.

Even though i do not break my expectations and follow everything my family expects from me, I can’t help but to ask, if i was suppose to wear sneakers and not go to college and possibly worked in fast food restaurant with long colorful nails and purple hair, have tattoos and a nose piercing does that mean i’m not a women. I understand not drinking and not smoking and some other things but to exclude your family member because they made a mistake is not fair , not only that it makes it scary to be around my family because i’m constantly second guessing myself. A lot of expectations have benefited me like cooking and cleaning because now I am independent and don’t need anybody to do things for me. Also when it comes to my appearance and being limited on what I’m supposed to wear or look , I can say that helps me because when anybody sees me they always say i look presentable. Being a woman is more than appearance or choice of career, it’s about a mindset of being independent and just being respectful to others and yourself.

Claudia Domfeh-osafo, DB13

The discussion we had on relationships last Tuesday was very informative to me and interesting. I always felt that relationships with boy friend or girlfriends or samisen couples only had toxic and jealousy in their relationships. when I was informed about friendships being toxic, I was kind of shocked because the examples that they gave on how friendships could be toxic is something that I have experienced before. my experience was with jealousy but I never notice until the examples that were given. having a toxic relationship with a friend can ruin a friendship or even you as a person. I remember always second guessing my self because a friend of mine always had to put their two cents about everything I was doing or got and it really affected me as person. Now I know that it was jealousy and I needed to remove myself from that relationship.

Mariam Varazashvili DB 13

The workshop and discussion that was about healthy relationship was a very interesting and cognitive. I got a huge information. Although, I want to take one caustic issue, and I want to speak about it. This one is JEALOUS. When the woman is young or teenager, she likes boy who is jealous. They call her a lot of times a day. Jealous man forbids her many activities. The girl likes it because she thinks that he is masculine. He can protect her in any kind of situation. The man who jealous means that he loves and care about the girl. Unfortunately, the girl and woman who have these kinds of thinks make a huge mistake. They start a toxic relationship with a jealous man. Step by step they start recognizing that they made a mistake, and the jealous does not comes from a strong love. Generally, the person who jealous about partner (I mean when there is not any kind of occasion of this fact, and it is a just pathological jealousy) has a lot of psychological problems. He is not healthy. He is selfish and envy. He has problems of self-confidence, realization, complexes and so forth. Trust me, there is not person who will be happy with these kinds of man. They are not adequate. There are a big number of tragedies that were based on jealousy. A lot of women are killed by her husbands and boyfriends. Their main motivation was jealousy. I think that it is a caustic problem today. Women must recognize that healthy relationship does not bring stress, fear, complex, melancholy for us. Take care of yourself.

Musammat BegumDB10

The film ” Out The Night ” tells the story of a group of 4 lesbians young friends who are all in their late teens and early twenties. The four young African American lesbians are violently and sexually threatened by a man on the street. When they depend on themselves they are arrested and charged for it. The man who sexually assault them did not get arrested or changed for it. Also, They are called a ” Gang Of Killer Lesbians” by the media.

In this film, I see the role of racism in how these 4 African American lesbians are treated. Even thought they are innocent, still social media called them gang killers. This shows how our society targeted people by their color.

Elba Leon: essay #4

What is family? A societal construct or is mainly biological. Well family is what an individual would like it to be. Can consist of blood relatives or friends who have gotten so close and chosen to accept each other. Sometimes those who are too close to us are the ones who are the ones who do not treat each other like family should. One can say well who is supposed to determine how a family treats each other. Just to start off with a basic amount of respect and dignity and sometimes that just does not happen.

Feminists and queer interventions challenge the idea of the “nuclear family” which is mostly just seen as a mom, dad, and their children. These ideas are challenged because who is society to say what families are the ideal. When every family is working, and it does not matter the components. The “nuclear family” limits other members to be recognized a legitimate family. For example, just like “Beyond Sex Marriage: A NEW STRATEGIC VISION FOR ALL OUR FAMILIES & RELATIONSHIPS” brings out to advocate for other structures of families. Families do not have to be romantic. They can be platonic, for instance grandparents with their grandchildren, close friends, siblings, and care givers.

Families can be composed of a mom and a mom, a dad and a dad, single moms, single dads, and the heteronormative couples. The visions that exist for the ways that families can be formed without restraint is that this would definitely help LGBTQ community since it breaks a barrier of the stigma within society.

My thoughts on family structure start with the basis that does not matter what sex is raising the children, as long as the children and the rest of the family has a strong foundation the children will grow up in a nurturing environment. I also agree with the principles of “Beyond Sex Marriage: A NEW STRATEGIC VISION FOR ALL OUR FAMILIES & RELATIONSHIPS “the concept of marriage should be a path to be closer with the other person.

The media does a really important job because it represents diverse backgrounds in couples and families. Just like the Fosters a television program that depicts two same sex interracial couple with one biological child and four foster children who later in the show are adopted. Our society is changing, slowly but surely. Now it is acceptable to break off from your biological family and embrace a family that has adopted each other. Paris is Burning is a prime example on what it means for the usage of the media. Showing how families are acquired when biological ones wont accept their own.

Structure should be very strong in order to create a strong dynamic family. These intervention offers us space to grow and to accept the views everyone holds. It is not there to halt the growth within the community. Family is a societal construct. It just means that you have a place, a community, individuals who have such a strong bond with each other and have accepted one another for the better or the worst but they can always depend on each other.

Essay #3 Danny Washington

Anything feminine in America and westernized civilizations is deemed weak. Especially if you do not fit the criteria to be feminine, despite women showing their strength throughout history Women experience massive amounts of oppression and sexism in society. The oppression is as far as financial oppression. White women make about 85 cents to the man’s dollar. Women of color experience even more disparities being as they make less to every dollar of a white woman. These sexist and racial disparities are all too common in American society and the lack of representation is nothing new.

The gender wage gap isn’t a new subject made this century. It is a topic spoken about for decades. Countless women have fought for equality and equity within the workforce. Each one faced their own difficulties and contributed to what we have today. However, there is still work to be done. The gender wage gap is now seen as a taboo topic but there are subjects with the movement itself that aren’t spoken about or highlighted. Within America, there are many racial and ethic groups. Each one may differ culturally, linguistically and with the amount of representation. Equal representation is a persistent problem in America. This problem can be reflected within the Asian and Pacific Islander (AAPI) communities. AAPI women face the same problem as any other woman of color between the racial and sexist oppression of the wage gap. They experience erasure. AAPI women face the stereotypical Asain minority myth with the assumption that all AAPI women have reached financial and economic success. This stereotype leaves AAPI women who face poverty and other economic or societal struggles out the conversations. AAPI women are also more likely to work in service, sales or office jobs compared to their male counterparts. This as well isn’t properly represented and is an important topic. These workers are typically faced with low wages, little to no benefits, no job security and a lack of compassion from the general public as well as employers.

Another problem that women face in the gender wage gap is equity. The fact that women do not receive the same pay as their male counterparts isn’t a new topic. Some may say the gender wage problem is only prevalent without education. However, even when women obtain their highschool diploma, bachelors or masters degrees they continue to face wage disparities. Black women with their bachelors degree earn about 65.14% of each dollar earned by their male counterparts. Latina women 62.73%, Native American women 52.7% and white women do not face these issues. These women strive for economic advancement and are met with so many obstacles along the way.

The gender wage gap isn’t an issue that is solely about women not getting paid equal to men. There are many issues that haven’t been addressed publicly or haven’t been equally represented. The disparities women of color face is a movement itself. The movement will progress as each woman is equally represented and when the workforce is equitable to each woman despite their occupation.

DB 10 Danny Washington

In this week’s assignment I watch the film Anita. The film featured Professor Anita Hill who experience sexual harassment by Judge Clarence Thomas. The film shows documented footage of Professor Anita Hill giving her testimony to an all white male senate judiciary board. The senate judiciary did not treat the issue with delicacy or professionalism, instead they made a show of Anita’s testimony and seemed to interrogate her. They questioned her character, moral, motive and even went as far as to question her sexual history. The trail, as it seemed, was not fair and easy to watch. Anita explained the emotional trauma she had to endure from giving her testimony and due to the publicly she was receiving. Though things were tough in the courtroom, Anita did have public and media support. The topic of sexual harassment in the workplace at the time was common. However, it was not as common to publicly speak against it. Although Anita did not intend to receive public attention, in fact her story was leaked to the media, it was important she did. Sexaul harassment within the workforce was pervalant and Anita speaking about her experience was perfect for many women, and men, across America.

Anita’s story is an important topic because of the intersectionality of her experience. Initially, Anita experience sexual harassment from Judge Thomas, however I do not believe the harassment stopped there. When Anita was giving her testimony to the all white male senate board they made a show of her situation. Giving repetitive and inappropriate questions. Despite friends and family giving testimony about Anita’s good character and heart. Countless people who have encountered professor Hill speak about the impressions she leaves them with. The judge’s body language seemed uncomfortable as well as their facial expressions. Anita faced racial discrimination and well as the sexist attitudes of many of the judges on the senate board. On the other hand, Judge Thomas’ experience was the complete opposite. The judges seemed remorseful and Thomas denied all of Anita’s claims upon the start of the testimony.

Despite Anita facing all the adversity with the senate judiciary board and sexual harassment in the workplace she continued to remain a public figure. She became a voice for the voiceless, she sacrificed herself for the good of women around America. Anita continued to speak about her experience across America as well as releasing a book along the way. Anita Hill became a necessary public figure that was appreciated by many people.

DB #13: Hailey DelValle

The workshop on healthy relationships helped me assess the quality of the dynamics between myself and those in the past that I have been involved with. The notions discussed of clinginess, possessiveness, and lack of respect for boundaries are all things that I experienced in previous relationships because of my partner and/or because of myself. Calling someone 50 times is excessive, and it’s on the same level as blowing somebody’s phone up almost 50 times due to lack of response. I have been insecure and not respected my partner’s boundaries; although it wasn’t physically hurting my partner the pattern of behavior was setting itself up to be more corrosive as well as consistent with emotional neglect. I see now how I could have made my needs known while also respecting and holding space for my partner’s boundaries and what my partner needed. All in all, it was a great workshop and I’m glad were we able to see the Women’s Resource Center and the Counseling Center do a collab because they killed it!

Anta Goumbala Essay#2

Second-wave Feminism

The Second-wave feminism that was in the 1960s to late 1980 focused on issues of equality and discrimination. They focused on women’s cultural and political inequalities as being linked together, and they encouraged women to think of their personal lives and the way they reflected sexist power structures. They united to achieve fi al liberation from male supremacy. They wanted to fight to liberate women and empower them politically. They believed that women were victims of false beliefs that require them to identify themselves through husbands and children. According to them, this notion causes them to lose their own identities and identify through their families. The wave believed in creating equality and stopping discrimination. At the time, the idea was that women could find fulfillment through being homemakers and bearing children. This notion was vehemently opposed by the feminists who wanted women to identify themselves politically, and this could be achieved by creating equality and ending discrimination. At that time, most women were limited in terms of careers. This wave came when women were returning to their work as housewives and mothers after the second world war. After the world war, women’s positions to replace men who had gone to war were supposed to leave them for the men who were now returning from war. The women created their own popular culture, and they spread the movement through films, music, and books.

In the Redstockings Manifesto, which outlined the vision for feminists, they say, “Women are an oppressed class. Our oppression is total, affecting every facet of our lives.”(Redstockings, 1970). From this quote, it is clear that women felt that they were oppressed and not given the space for development. According to them, the oppression was dragging them down in all facets of life. They believed that they were exploited as sex objects, breeders, domestic servants, and cheap labor. At the expense of their development, women were supposed to be homemakers and bear children. Women were considered inferior beings, and their sole purpose was to make men’s lives better. This was a sign that they were denied their humanity. Women had been reduced to objects to enhance the lives of men. The oppressors, in this case, were men who see women as mere objects that are supposed to enhance their lives and make homes better. This reading resonates with me because it laid bare the issues facing women and their need to liberate themselves.

In the article by Judy Brady, “I want a wife,” there is still the same message. She defined a wife and a husband, and the reading became very famous. In the article, she says, “Why do I want a wife? I would like to go back to school to become economically independent, support myself, and support those who depend on me. I want a wife to take care of my kids as I go to school” from the quote we can understand that the issue of homemaking and family was what was keeping women away from developing themselves (Brady, 1972). The author says that she wants a wife to take care of her children while she is away. This shows that the role of wives was just to be a homemaker and raise kids for men. They could not get any space to go out and have self-development.

In both texts, the message is one: women needed to be liberated and achieve self-development. To achieve development, there was a need to redefine the roles of a wife from just merely a homemaker and someone who is meant to enhance the man’s life to someone proactive in society. The readings resonate so much with my belief because women were oppressed, and they needed empowerment.