The story “Out in the Night” shows homophobia and racism. It’s a story of 4 African American lesbians whom are not only targeted by their race, by being called a “Gang of Killer Lesbians” by media even after they found innocent of a crime but they were also violently and sexually confronted by an older man who blatantly to “fuck them straight” in turn of “getting some” which clearly tells us that just because they are gay, that men still convince themselves that women who are lesbian or have no interest in men “haven’t met the right man” and in honestly, it quite hurtful on top of it being disgusting. That some men still have the nerve to poke and prod at women to get a little bit of action, pushing them into boxes and making them uncomfortable. It sucks and it shows how society not only has targeted people of color but LGBT people and women a well.
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DB 9
Feminist and queer inventions challenge the ideas of a nuclear family because it’s simply not what a nuclear family is. Feminists want to be equal to men and Queer couples are two of the same sex. Both concepts in which are going against the nuclear family concept as a whole. The nuclear family is a father, mother, and children that live under the same household as a unit. Most likely than not, the wife/mother is under the husband/father who is above the female and the children of the household. While a feminist or queer household, it’ll be equal and open, it’ll be where the couple is equal and not higher than one another. These limits these couples constantly fight for “marital rights, and secured stability of diverse households and families” as stated In the Article “BEYOND SAME-SEX MARRIAGE: (A NEW STRATEGIC VISION FOR ALL OUR” From all of these, people, specifically women, and LGBT+ couples are still fighting to be considered normal. That there are clearly many more ways than one to create and raise a family. Trans couples, non-binary couples, genderfluid and more. There are countless interventions that can be had as a family, countless family structures. That every and any family made should be considered a family, should be considered worth it, and normal.
DB 1
Some of my initial impressions of the term feminism are the same as it has always been, to fight for equal rights for women and that women and men should be treated equally in every area. For sexism, it’s being treated unfairly and differently because you are a woman. How men and women are treated differently in society because of something they control, and for Gender and Woman Studies, my first impression of this was how it presented itself title-wise. So just the study of gender and woman studies, my guess was gender identities and expression, maybe how it affects people who go by other than cisgender female/male. Maybe also how there is such a big understanding gap between males and females. For the women aspect, I figured it’s just the study of women. How they are treated, some history, some facts, statistics, and all.
Anta Goumbala DB#13
DB #13
As human beings we have all at one point been in a relationship. We all need to be in a healthy relationship with the significant other. One of the things that the workshops stressed was when in a relationship there is always a way that we need to treat one another with respect. Relationships are somewhat complex because of the fact that we have to give our fair share of efforts to make sure that relationships survive. Healthy relationships involve having total respect for one another. Another take away from the workshop is that there is a need for sacrifice for any healthy relationship. We find ourselves in need to get support from the people we are in any relationship and one of the biggest things is to make sure that we respect the people we are in relationships with. Respect usually leads to doing things that will make those in relationships with us comfortable. By respect, we have to value what others want and make sure that they are comfortable in any relationship. What left me wondering is the fact that we need to take the diversity in any relationship as a strength and develop it in a good way. That is something I would like to explore and understand better.
Mariam Varazashvili Essay 4
Family is a very important unit for humankind. It is a strong network between relatives. Family is a hope, force, support, motivation, and base of everything. The first what can I say is that family has a huge influence on the child’s psychology. We should remember that our childhood has a very important role in our personality. Who are we today? We are big children. A good families can create good persons and good generation. Because of this, I think that family is a vitally important connection in our society. Persons need to shear something with someone; they need to know that they are not alone, and there are people who care about them. Every religion preach that we must love our family. It has a huge role not only in our hearts, but also in our society. There are different kinds of families. Household family is a more spread types of family. According to the reading, BEYOND SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, families that are created by same sex people are norm in our society. “Recognizing the diverse households that already are the norm in this country is simply a matter of expanding upon the various forms of legal recognition that already are available. The LGBT movement has played an instrumental role in creating and advocating for domestic partnerships, second parent adoptions, reciprocal beneficiary arrangements, joint tenancy/home-ownership contracts, health care proxies, powers of attorney, and other mechanisms that help provide stability and security for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and heterosexual individuals and families.”
Also, there is speaking about nuclear family. Definition of nuclear family is an elementary family where are two parents and usually two or three children. “U.S. Census findings tell us that a majority of people, whatever their sexual and gender identities, do not live in traditional nuclear families.” According to the reading marriage is an important factor for part of our society. “Marriage is not the only worthy form of family or relationship, and it should not be legally and economically privileged above all others. While we honor those for whom marriage is the most meaningful personal – for some, also a deeply spiritual – choice, we believe that many other kinds of kinship relationship, households, and families must also be accorded recognition.” Although, there are some problems for them who wants to marriage. It is not easy for LGBT people. There are some economic and other policy problems. Additionally, I want to speak about economic stress that has effect on the families. Millions of people are anxious about economic situation, because in the United States, more and more individuals and families are experiencing the violence of poverty.
I think that everyone must has chance to make a family. I cannot see problem if couple do not want to marriage. Even though I am sure that nuclear family where parents feel love each other has a perfect influence on new generation. This kind of household is more solid. I think that in my case, I will marriage.
Jasmine Maldonado Essay 1
REMINDERS: Short essays and make-up discussion board posts due today!
- Please remember that any short essays and make-up discussion board posts are due by the end of the day today!
- Your final exam is due no later than May 21, 2pm.
- AND: This survey asks for your feedback about our class. Your responses will help me make revisions to the class in future semesters. If the class gets to an 80% response rate (20 students) by Friday, May 21, I will give everyone an extra credit point on their final grade!
Jasmine Maldonado: Final Project
GLORY A monolouge written by Jasmine Maldonado. When I was like ten years old all of my friends and I would always talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up- like my best friend Cristal-- well she wanted to be a teacher and there was this boy from mrs.chadicks class, oh what was his name (pause) anyway his would change like every week, doctor, astronut, football player. (caught in a daze) what about me? right duh well I think being the only girl out of five boys, my family had some pretty high expectations for me-- like a vet maybe or I dont know a lawyer or somethin, and my grandmother-GLORIA- she would always say "oh my chickadee God loves you so much, God bless you mija." Man she is always praying over me. trust me I'm not complaining--You know when I was younger we would go to church every sunday together, we would really spend so much time together, its funny shes always telling me that im her favorite, but makes me swear to keep it a secret. I dont know I guess Im always aiming to please.---- oh so I was ten when I figured that in order to make my family proud- I would have the holiest job possible, and geez you wouldnt believe, when youre a girl, religion is no exception to the things that the patriarchy has us limited to, I suppose if you think about it, its pretty fitting. who knew! so it was setteled (pause) a nun! and you know I dont know if GLORIA still thinks I'll be a Holy sister of St Franssics and the Blessed Sacrament of Immaculata evetually but with all the stuff she sends me im pretty much set up to start anyday now. I got a rosary in every color practically and spot too! of course in the bible, by my bed, my wallet. and if youre ever in a pickle- a little somethin GLORIA taught me when I was younger. Jesus,Mary,Joseph (x3) dang, shoot, darnit, ahh God forgive me, I probably should have used that one a few years ago before I had sex with my ex- but dont worry I looked it up, you can acctually still become a nun and NOT be a virgin, Jesus totally forgives that sorta stuff, havent you ever heard of Mary Magdalene-- man Id be such a good nun with all my biblical refrences.
As a young girl, I was practically raised in the church. Told to fear God and to never behave in a way that would call shame upon myself. Unfortunately, this caused me to hold secrets of my own. So while I silently experienced emotional abuse and sexual harassment I fell into a never-ending cycle of guilt, shame, and disappointment all within myself. I was truly alone. My boyfriend at the time was also religious, more so the stereotypical westernized Christianity than my traditional Catholic practice. Often I would hear from him that my own religion was not worthy, for it wasn’t what he knew to be “right by God.” This became a sore subject throughout much of our relationship. Debating whether it was right or wrong, for our hypothetical non-existent children to be baptized. Would we get married in the church? Looking back almost a year later after the ending of an almost three-year relationship, my most serious I might add, I have gained a much clearer understanding of the logistics of my own religious beliefs. Coming to know how they coincide with my day-to-day ethical and moral values. I have realized that while defending my own religious institution I was also, however unintentional, judging out of feelings of righteousness. Moving forward to now, where I am self-assured, confident, and aware that all who are worthy of you accept all of you regardless of differences. So moving forward I intentionally accept and acknowleged not only others but myself as well. Living life the way that makes me fufilled.
Final Project: Leslie Tepoz
Elba Leon: Final project/memoir
Elba Leon
I thought my parents were heroes, happy, flawless individuals. I mean they came with literally nothing but the clothes on their backs. When I was younger, say around eight years old, I truly believed that nothing could happen to them. We would be the “American dream” I mean I didn’t actually think the words the American dream, I had no idea what that even meant. I was not exposed to so many places around the country, not even the English language until preschool. Then my life changed for the worse, I had a hard time in school, at home, and to be honest I did not have any friends.
The problem did not start externally, the media, and society did not ruin it for me. In fact, it was my own parents. I saw how emotionally abusive my father was towards my mother. When he first said he was leaving our family, I was in fourth grade, he decided it was a great idea to start threating he was going to leave us. At the time I was extremely heart broken, that’s just what a child thinks at the time. But now I take my time and I mean how dare he you know. I mean sure I understand divorces happen everywhere, no one should stay married or have to live with each other if there is so much toxicity. But how could he say all those things when he knows that he is the breadwinner of an undocumented immigrant family. Sure, my brother and I are born in the U.S but they aren’t, something happens and who knows if we’re going to be ripped apart since both could be deported. Do we end up in foster care? With our uncles? Or do we leave with them? I mean did my father does not care about us when he hits us or yells at us and broken walls, tvs, phones. My mother wanted him to leave but time and time again this happened, and months would go by and we wouldn’t speak to him until things cleared up and it would happen again.
The way my father has acted towards us, his immediate family, truly has shaped the way I am. When I was in middle school, he pulled the same trick, “I’m leaving”. That pushed me to become depressed, I actually couldn’t handle it, I was bullied at school, didn’t have a group of friends I could count on, I was so unstable, yet again because of my father. Time flew by and I was happy when I went to high school, finally I thought out of that middle school, I made so many friends and I was winning awards for being one of the best on the swim team, transferred to another school, kept making more friends, more awards, and joined clubs, sports, the orchestra. I mean I was absolutely happy. My father comes out of the blue with his famous phrase “I’m leaving” I was tired of it. Absolutely done with his manipulation, for me it seemed that whenever I was so happy, and the family was peaceful his anxiety or whatever it is rushed him to say that we would be abandoning us. At that moment I told him straight to his face that I was done and that the door was there so he could leave whenever he wanted to. He did not have the courage to leave after he saw that I would not cave this time and let him manipulate me. The same way Ijeoma A.in “Because you’re a girl” told her cousin to “do it your damned self” the utter shock and disapproval look and vibe he gave me after I told him to leave.
I mean I was never truly happy deep down. My parents’ marriage seemed like a soap opera. My father is an alcoholic, he will truly never stop being one, sad to say but that is the truth. My mother always being pushed around emotionally by him, she’s fiery and resilient but I cannot handle this anymore and that is why whenever there is an argument, I need to speak up. I’m tired of holding my feelings in.
My true inspiration, motivation, and my drive to be the most successful person I could be is my mother. One thing that I could say so proud is getting able to do a study abroad program during high school. I heard about it my first year of high school and it lit my eyes up but I knew that we would not be able to afford it. Nor my Hispanic parents would let me go because they would not even let go to a sleepover at my cousin’s house in Elmhurst. I mean I was extremely persistent with my school and the program that’s a trait that my mother has encouraged me to have, she grew that little flame I always had. I wrote essays and was in touch with the people that allowed me this opportunity and I was able to go, received a scholarship for seven thousand dollars all I had to do was pay for my flight. This was one of my victories I am proud to say because who would think the daughter of immigrants would have the opportunity to do such a thing. This experience truly meant the world to me, to stay an entire month in another continent it was my second time flying out of the country, I barely know what the U.S. has to offer. I met 50 people from the whole nation, stayed with a host mom and their daughter and made a close friend group that I absolutely adore.
Just like in module nine, the “nuclear family” limits other members to be recognized a legitimate family. For example just like “Beyond Sex Marriage: A New Strategic Vision For All Our Families & Relationships” brings out to advocate for other structures of families. Families do not have to be romantic. They can be platonic, for instance grandparents with their grandchildren, close friends, siblings, and care givers. That’s what I acquired when I went onto high school a second family. My friends like Aaliyah, Adrianna, and Jordan are so close to me and I keep them close as my definition of family since my father ruined my perspective on what it means to be a biological one. The funny part is that my child psychology professor told us to take an attachment theory test and the results were not shocking to me but the way my father paints it to others is that were the best family and that he’s the perfect father. My attachment theory came out to be secure because my mother took part in that and that’s how my connection is with my mom and friends and my father and relationships give me fearful avoidant. Secure attachment means that an individual feels connected, trusting, confident and let individuals have independence but caring as well. The fearful avoidant attachment style affects individuals by making them live in a state of being afraid of being both too close or to distant from other individuals.
Throughout my whole life I have seen my mother go from feeling oppressed to feeling more comfortable in her own skin and being able to stand up to my father. My mother implemented the eating lunch/dinner at the table around three pm every day since I was a baby so she would cook these typical Mexican dishes that are absolutely delicious, and my father would always complain why he had to eat greens and vegetables and then when I was in middleschool/highschool he complained when there weren’t any vegetables or mixed greens at the table, if the food was not salty or too salty for his liking. I always thought the food was spot on delicious, anything my mother made I knew it was going to be good. My father made everyone insane especially when he would drink. I mean this man chugged the whole bottle of don Julio on one occasion and we woke up to find him on the floor the next day. Covid definitely had such a major impact on us that we order food from the 311 food for NYC program, and he can eat whatever he wants or whatever there is to eat, and she no longer worries if he’s going to like the food or not.
Also, the pandemic has pushed us to find ways to make money, I started to sell my lightly used items on an app that is called depop. My mom works as a housekeeper at this five-story brownstone. And My mom’s attitude about money is so smart, she said she will be budgeting our household in order to have some savings and if another pandemic occurs or if were in this situation much longer we have something to fall on. Which we have to hide from our father because he’s so toxic that 20 years ago when my mother started a college fund for me and my brother my father said it was useless and drained the account.
Now I just hope with time my life just keeps moving forwards and I prosper into what I am meant to do. My mother keeps being such a motivation for me and what has stuck with me the most, is how my mother mentions to me that I should be my own priority. Which is what has made become such a strong, persistent, and bright person. We evolve and that is what I take from this marriage, sure it traumatized me, but it left we with that message. It only means I can go up from here. I want to work in the mental/public health sector. I would definitely would like to work with individuals and becoming a therapist, social worker, or a patient representative. Which might just be another way that reflects that I had endured so much and that I would definitely want to be there for others.
*letter*
*My goals in life is honestly to be happy, yes it does sound cliché, however that doesn’t matter to me. I do nails that makes me happy, I ride my bicycle that makes me happy, I help others that makes me happy. I want to do constant things that make me happy. I also definitely understand that I have to have sad moments. I see it painted in a way a graph is. There is a happy line and if that is all we know, well it gets pretty pointless and that is the mundane, throw in some sad or frustrating moments and that is the balance that is needed to understand that the feeling needs to be there and a constant push and pull in order for me to feel like its normal. My goal in this final project is to finally write down the way my home life has been, and it being seen. I also think honesty is working just fine in this project.
I think I’m a little clueless on what else to add. I feel like I’m the type of person when someone says one word it triggers thousands of different responses. Maybe the clarity or the timeline is something I could definitely work on. I have the main idea how my home life has been the exact opposite of the American dream. But I also know that I haven’t had it the worse and its not a pity party I just like mentioning a lot. Any pointers on where I should expand or what I should not include would be greatly appreciated, as to sometimes I don’t realize if I have rambled, or it was transferred from my brain to paper the way I wanted to.
