Category: Final Project

Feminist Memoir

In Ijeoma’s article, “Because you’re a Girl,” she discusses her experience living in Nigeria in a family that there were distinct gender roles. The issue of gender roles in a society there is usually the expectation that is placed. I lived in a family and community that valued gender roles, and we were supposed to conform to them and do as per what the community dictated. When as young girls, we were not allowed to go out unless accompanied by our brothers. In Ijeoma’s article, she talks about how she was raised in a country where a set of rules was created to define a woman’s responsibility to her family in her community. As a child, she was required to prepare meals for the family, take care of her brothers and attend school. Despite all this, she did not disrespect her parents, and she did as she was supposed to. Ijeoma got a way to express herself and her true identity in school, where she could control her destiny. 

These experiences are some that almost all of us go through. My life was almost the same because we would do more chores than our brothers despite being of the same age in the house. The issue of gender inequality raises many questions all over the world today. The roles that we are taught are usually different depending on gender. Elements in intersectionality interact and intertwine, and this results in unique identities for individuals. We all have our own experiences of discrimination and oppression. Therefore, we must consider everything that marginalizes people in terms of gender, class, race, and sexual orientation. Through intersectionality, I was able to understand the roles that the different genders play in society. 

Intersectionality means that through the experiences we have gone through, there might have been marginalization that has happened to us. In intersectionality, there is the assertion that several sources of oppression often disadvantages people (Anzaldua, 1987). There is the recognition that identity markers do not exist independent of each other, and each informs the other in a way that creates a convergence of oppression. From my experience, gender, color, and class converged to make my life. As a woman of color, some expectations were placed on me, and most of the time, I got minimal opportunities.

The earliest memory I had about my gender was the fact that while our brothers were allowed to go out and play, we were only allowed to do that on the condition that our brothers accompanied us. As girls in the family, we were not very much allowed the freedom to leave the house. There was no equality at all, and most of the time, we were left to do the house chores while the boys are out playing. There was a way that we were supposed to behave even around the house. This influenced how my life turned, and as I grew up, I knew the roles that I was supposed to do as a woman. In Ijeoma’s article, she states that she was supposed to take care of her brothers and cook for her family despite going to school. This shows inequality whereas as a girl you have to do more than boys although you are of the same age.

From the society that I lived there were so many gendered expectations that we went through. I learned so much from these gendered expectations and knew my position as a girl. For instance, as girls, we were always expected to be in the house before 7 o’clock, and my parents were very strict about this. There are usually expectations that society puts on and expects the different genders to adhere to dressing, behavior, and presentation. I knew that my parents expected my brothers to be aggressive and bold (Collective, 1977). As girls, my mother always told us to be polite, accommodating, and nurturing. I learned that society consistently placed some values in how we carried ourselves, and we were always supposed to conform to the expectations. In school, things changed a bit as we were all treated equally, and that is where I could express my identity well. Even though in school, things were different, there were still some levels of expectations placed on us. As girls, there was a way that we were treated by teachers in school, which was sometimes different from how boys were treated. All these gave me lessons to know my position as a girl in society at all times. At one time, my mother denied us playing time but allowed the boys and said that we are not expected to be outside all the time because, as girls, we are not expected to be outside.

I have come to accept some things that society has put in as gender norms throughout my life. However, there are some gender norms that I have been able to challenge because I don’t believe in them. For instance, as a girl is supposed to be always in the house, I challenged because I believe that both boys and girls are supposed to be given enough time to socialize. In the article by Ijeoma, at one time, as she was washing the dishes and her cousin approached her, telling her to hurry up so that he could drink water. She felt frustrated by this, and she ended up having an outburst with her cousin. I have constantly challenged the idea of objectifying women to men throughout my life, and I believe all should be treated equally. Despite all these expectations, there is supposed to be equal treatment. There are so many other gender norms that I have accepted, like how I am supposed to present myself and how I dress, which to me is more of my character.

In life, whether in terms of family, friendships, or relationships, gender plays a significant role. In many of my friendships that I have had, we are usually equal, and we treat each other that way. In the work that I do, there is usually Equality when it comes to payment, and anybody can do any job without considering gender. In the relationships and friendships that I have been in, there are gender plays a significant role in that there is a way that I am supposed to present myself. As a woman in friendships that I have been in, I am supposed to be humble and most of the time, it is the men who make decisions on what we are supposed to do. At times, I usually quarreledwith my male friends because they want to dictate everything and believe that we as ladies should be passive. A friend of mine was in a relationship, and his boyfriend was always insisting that all decisions were supposed to come from him, and my friend would ask before doing anything. In such relationships, gender plays a role as the man becomes the leader and always tells the girl what to do. Gender here is what dictates the decisions to be made and who is to make what decisions. In our family, gender played a role; there were things that I have done in the house because, as a girl, my parents restricted me. My parents always insisted that we were supposed to do the house chores for us,although the boys could help. An experience that I had was when I visited a neighbor and found out that in the house, it was exclusively girls who were supposed to make meals and do all house chores. Gender played a huge role in my parents’ choices, and up to date, my mother is usually skeptical about some things that I do, which she thinks should be reserved for boys. My parents always maintained that many house chores were supposed to be done by the girls, and the boys would only help. When it came to opportunities, boys were always given priority,and I remember one time I complained to my father about it. He had to change and start giving all of us equal opportunities.

According to my, feminism is all about giving equal opportunities to both genders. Feminism should be about affording Equality for opportunities and spaces where there is level ground for all. I can define feminism as having equal opportunities for all genders and having a level playing field for the genders where no gender feels marginalized. Most of the time, women and girls are not given opportunities, and feminism addresses this by ensuring equal opportunities. Feminism is essential because it promotes Equality and affords every gender the best opportunities to excel and do well.  With Equality, everyone will be able to do better and have the chance to excel.

References

Anzaldúa, G. (1987). Borderlands/La frontera: The new mestiza.

Collective, C. R. (1983). The Combahee river collective statement. Homegirls: A Black feminist anthology, 264-74.

Collective, C. R. (1977). ‘A Black Feminist Statement’ (pp. 210-218). na.

Assessment

I feel that my project met my goals because I could discuss all that appertains feminism in the memoir. I linked my experience very well and discussed all that the materials had. From the help that I got from the instructor and others, I incorporated it into the project by looking at where I was corrected and made sure that I did it to my best. My project has used every excellentexperience, and I think that is my project strength. If I had more time, I would continue so that I can discuss more insights. I enjoyed explaining my experiences, although it was somehow difficult to link them to what the materials had.

I have done my best in the project; hence, I deserve an A forexcellent work.

Being a ghanain woman in my family comes with a lot of expectations for me to follow.This memoir is about me being expected to dress , look and act a certain way. I am oppressed in many ways but yet I  benefit from my family’s expectations for me. My family apart from my mother also have expectations from me, to the point that I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Not following expectations from my family leads to consequences. I’ve seen first hand how my family reacted to a family member that did not follow expectations, that has made me fearful of breaking rules. It is really important for me to follow these rules because I want to feel accepted by family and not feel as if I’m the odd one out.

I remember being around the age of 13 and my mother and I having a conversation on how I should carry myself as a young lady. My expectations of being a woman is to dress respectfully, meaning not showing too much skin, not dressing provocatively.  These expectations are expected by my family but since i’ve been hearing about this for my whole life it started to be an expectation for myself to follow.I asked my mother why I have these expectations. She began to say that it was because of the home we come from. My mother was raised the same way and she told me that if someone was supposed to see me like that, they would think that i didn’t come from a home and i don’t respect myself. My expectations are more than just clothes, it’s more of a representation of my family and me. I am not allowed to have tattoos or smoke, or drink and party till like 12:00 Am, not saying i want to, but in my family if you have or do either or they will view you as a thug or someone who is not educated.  In my family to be viewed as a thug or uneducated, it means you don’t have respect for yourself , you’re always doing something you’re not supposed to do which is something my family can’t stand. It’s unacceptable in my family because  image is everything to them, they don’t want outsiders to think that they have family members who don’t care about themselves. Same for piercings and long colorful nails. I can have a piercing but it has to be one and appropriate size, not huge hoop earrings. As for nails, it definitely can not be long and colorful.  According to my Grandmother “If you have long nails in my family that means you can’t cook or clean and if you can’t cook or clean you’re not a woman”. To elaborate on the quote not a woman, a woman is supposed to clean and cook in the house, so if you don’t do that you’re worthless in your own home, according to my family. Having colorful nails is not acceptable, as a woman you should on have neutral colors, nothing that stands out, that is unlady like. As for my hair, I am allowed to have any hair style I want but nothing crazy, such as colorful hair or a mohawk, things of that sort are not allowed in my family. If I was supposed to show that to my elder family members back home they would look at  me in disgust. I’ve never experienced this personally but I’ve seen how my family reacted to colorful hair styles and they were judging people when looking at them on the television. As a ghanain women I am required to do certain things. I am supposed to dress respectfully, meaning cover up everything. I am supposed to wear either heels or flats, skirts or dresses and pants are ok and shorts but not too short. I am expected to go to school and finish college and have a successful career. When I choose a partner he also has to be going to school and finishing college and also look presentable. If my partner does not have all the qualities that my family wants, it will look really bad on me.

I remember going to Ghana a year ago and meeting my family. When I arrived at my grand uncle’s home, I remember covering my ears because I was scared that he was going to see that I have two piercings in my ear. When I was around the whole family they were asking questions about my life and what I am doing. I made sure to tell them that I was in college to become a psychologist. At first they didn’t look happy, so i made sure to tell them the details on how i was going to get my M.D and become a licensed psychiatrist that prescribed medicine to the patient. My family began to say “oh so you’re going to college to become a doctor”  out of all i said they just heard about doctors, they didn’t care about the field i was working on, they just expected me to become a doctor with a successful career. So I just told them yes. Everybody was happy and telling me that they are proud of me and I’m becoming the woman they expect me to be. There was this one incident where i was not conscious of what i was wearing. My grandmother saw it and said I looked like a mad man because I had ripped jeans on. Another time I had a maxi dress and she told me to take it off and put something else on because the back was showing too much. I Began to feel really bad about how I was dressing and began to be more conscious than I was before on my appearance.

I never knew what the major consequences would happen if one of the females did not follow the expectations until I saw first hand what my family did to my aunt. My aunt was 16 years old when she had my little cousin. That has to be one of the worst things to do in the family because to the outside world she seems like a fast woman trying to do grown up things, which will make the family look bad. Not only did she have a baby at 16 she also did not finish school and as of right now she kind of goes to men to men and her daughter that is 18 right now  does the same online. My family knows that they are that way and have shunned her and her daughter. Shuning in my family is ignoring you anytime you come around and judging you all the time. After seeing the way my family treats my aunt and cousin made me more scared into breaking expectations. I want to feel accepted, my family not shunned. It will break my heart if that was the case with me.

Even though i do not break my expectations and follow everything my family expects from me,  I can’t help but to ask, if i was suppose to wear sneakers and not go to college and possibly worked in fast food restaurant with long colorful nails and purple hair, have tattoos and a nose piercing does that mean i’m not a women. I understand not drinking and not smoking and some other things but to exclude your family member because they made a mistake is not fair , not only that it makes it scary to be around my family because i’m constantly second guessing myself. A lot of expectations have benefited me like cooking and cleaning because now I am independent and don’t need anybody to do things for me. Also when it comes to my appearance and being limited on what I’m supposed to wear or look , I can say that helps me because when anybody sees me they always say i look presentable.  Being a woman is more than appearance or choice of career, it’s about a mindset of being independent and just being respectful to others and yourself.

Women of Wisdom and Intuition Manifesto:

Since the beginning time, women have been given a role “being everyone’s keeper. I am sure you have heard this term “I’m not my brother’s keeper.”  I come ask myself, was this role given to us by men? Did we take on this role as women of intuition? Did God create Eve from the heel of Adam’s foot so men could oppress us, or did God create us from the rib of Adam to be as equals. I asked myself these questions countless of times, trying to make sense what makes women so different from men. I want to believe, that there is a purpose to what women face every day, regardless of where live are in this beautiful globe. Men has thought themselves as superior beings, and this concept has spread though out our history. Women have been mistreated in physically, sexually, verbally, mentally, and been murdered in the hands of men. Women that voiced their opinion, beliefs, goals, would be killed in passed, for not being compliant to husbands, fathers, teachers, religious leaders, political leaders, that are led by men,  We women of intuition with great wisdom, must gather to help re-wire new generations of men, and teach our young men that oppression, is women slavery and it is an unethical, and could be labeled a crime. The male thought process regarding this issue, has infected the minds of men creating a monster called “male supremacy.” I believe, women were given a spiritual connection and intuition, to unveil the enemy, and show devil hiding in the details. Our human rights been violated from being under paid compared to men in which we struggle to make ends meet. According to the pay wage gap, we women are under paid compared to men, by gender and ethnicity. This matter sits uneasy to many women that work just as hard as men. Why do men think of themselves as higher superior beings to women? Who thought this concept was acceptable or ethical?  

According to “Bureau of Labor Statistics data,” in 2020, women’s annual earnings were 82.3% of men’s, and the gap is even wider for many women of color”. Mar 19, 2021. We want to voice our opinions, and play a part in political arena, concluding economical conflict. There are political conflicts all over the globe, and women need to be part of the solution. Furthermore, according “The Office of Conflict Management and Mitigation in the Bureau for Democracy, Conflict, and Humanitarian Assistance (DCHA/CMM) of the United States Agency” Kvitashvili, Elizabeth Director “Office of Conflict Management and Mitigation Bureau for Democracy, Conflict and Humanitarian Assistance U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID)” introduced a document “Women and Conflict: An introduction guide to programing, addressed to the “USAIDE from the American people”, to develop leadership for “economic growth, democracy, education and health” on countries impacted by conflict that target mostly women. We women must become part of the resolution, to this economic crisis. The oppression on women has been like a virus infecting every country, from the beginning of time including, America -the land of liberty, freedom, and dreams.  

https://www.usaid.gov/sites/default/files/documents/1865/toolkit_women_and_conflict_an_introductory_guide_for_programming.pdf

 in the “Red stocking Manifesto “we identify this as male supremacy, one the oldest and most basic form of domination.” and no one seems to think that there is something wrong with issue. The burden that women face daily is out of control. Gender oppression is wrong and even those who think it is unethical are still participate in it. These individuals are part of the system that do not speak up for change, and care more if they become targets for speaking up so they overlook the problem. Women are targeted for sexual harassment in the workplace, and fear losing their jobs if they speak about the assault. Men in power are feared by the women in the workplace, because men take their power and leadership to the extreme. This government has allowed this behavior of men oppressing women in the workplace for far too long. We declare liberation of such unacceptable behaviors to the leaders of this country, and a call to immediate action, (excluding male believers of women liberation).  

In fact, research, has shown that women of color -that are survivors of violence, have been hurt by such laws which women are blamed for and arrested in domestic violence issues. I do not want to think of this as a crime, but if you analyzed the argument, it shows criminal actions against all women, especially women in neighborhoods of color. If we do not make oppression on gender a crime, women will never see the yoke lightened. If we don’t see changes, the yoke of women oppression will be felt by later generations of women. Our daughters and their daughters do not deserve this way of living. Let us make a difference and show a new wave of empowered women, who can become the new voices and a new generation of women feminist, fighting for women rights and equality across the board.  

I come to understand many women writers like, (I want a wife) written by feminist Judy Brady. She asked herself, why she wants a wife? She wants a wife for obvious reason. A wife’s duty is 24 hours 7 days a week with no rest, while men kick back after an 8-hour shift with a beer and remote on hand, changing channels as if not clear or undecided. Clearly women have more responsibility than men. Men are constantly getting, what I call “fake praise” for doing what is needed as if they have won a contest. I would like to conduct an experiment in the mid-future, like changing the role of a wife to a husband, and a husband changing his role into the wife and see how long it last. I do not speak of all men, but I do speak against the male supremacy that narcissistically believe the right to oppress women.  

As women of wisdom and intuition, women are more than conquerors. We are survivors of evil, and we will prevail against the attacks of the enemy. God made us women with an ability of strength, that men do not possess. I believe, we have the power and intuition that was given to us from the beginning of time to detect violence before it occurs. Furthermore, in scriptures Proverbs 14:1 written by: King Soloman “every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one will only destroy it” I believe we are coming closer to women equality with a changing world. I believe this our chance to rise in power in a realm of movements that target these issues of gender inequalities. Our main goal is, to liberate women that are underpaid, overworked, overlooked, oppressed, violated by males, under privileged, and avoided in the political arena, etc. 

This concept that men have of a wife is oppression of slavery, and not a proper description of a wife. Both men and women have been given a gift of unification to be united and become one body, one mind, and one voice. Both species of homo sapiens has been given distinct functions in life, that helps nature flourish and nourish, as an echo system needs to survive. Any disruption to this function can cause great division and devastation to all humankinds as we know it. It is crucial to re-evaluate this concept and begin a new one. Let us start a greater concept of living. The concept of united we stand but divided we fall. If you do not hear our voice, then see our struggles, our brokeness to be counted as an equals. Respect and honor women, as we are all born from a women which produces the beauty of life. See and witness the struggles of your mothers and daughters, and return us the same empathy, compassion, and love we give. Gender equality and equal pay is a must, not a priviledge.