4. Ijeoma A. and Pascoe write about expectations that are placed on girls and boys, respectively. What are some of the norms that they write about? What are some of the norms that you grew up with, either in your own experience or that you witnessed? How did you relate to these norms?
From “because you’re a girl” by Ijeoma A. and “Making Masculinity” by Pascoe, I can relate to a lot of things said in both articles, either things that were said to me or my sister. In “Because you’re a girl” Ijeoma highlights some responsibilities of girls, one of which is cleaning and serving men. “Everything in my childhood substantiated the need for women to submit.” (Ijeoma A.) Although never experiencing this myself, I can say that this often happens to my sister. My family is still conservative and often pushes their ideals onto my sister and I. They often tell my sister things like “help clean up after your brother, you’re a woman, this is your job” or “cook your brother some food, men can’t cook for themselves”. This has gotten my sister and I in trouble many times since we think very differently from our grandparents. As for me, things were not much different as I am also criticized for my masculinity more often than I’d like. “Their weakness and their high-pitched voices cast them as feminine.” (Pascoe). I especially connect with this quote because I am often criticized for my voice. I have a high pitched voice when I am talking comfortably and I’ve had family members and friends telling me I sound “gay” because I have a higher-pitched voice. Although they weren’t wrong, it was awkward being called out and having to make up an excuse for sounding the way I am. I have a lot more experiences that I can talk about but the moral of the story is that these expectations of gender roles are toxic and we can progress to a more accepting society if we can get of these norms that are so deeply rooted in our society.
Ijeoma A writes about what the expectations were of her for being a girl, namely, the Four Commandments: Her office is the kitchen, she is responsible for all the chores in the home, She is accountable for the children and their actions, And, of course, she must pledge complete and total allegiance to the man in charge first, before herself.
This made me think; these expectations were never overtly asked of me, however, I feel they were often implied. For example, I wasn’t asked to clean more than my brother, but I was expected to “be cleaner”. The general feeling I had was that although no one was telling me I had to live up to the roles that centuries of reinforced societal sexism carved out for me, it would be weird or I would risk feeling embarrassed if I didn’t.
I find that the recurring theme of norms for girls involve acts of submission, however, I find that the most common norm demanded from women and girls is more of an emotional submission. Girls are asked to be “sensitive” to men’s emotions, to put their needs to the side for those of men, and to take on the role of therapist and expect very little back in return.
This a social system where men take the crucial power and preponderate in political leadership roles, property control, moral authority, and social privilege. We can mostly participate in the patriarchal system through male lineage inheritance. For instance, male gender inheriting power from their parents.
It’s a social system where men take the crucial power and preponderate in political leadership roles, property control, moral authority, and social privilege. We can mostly participate in the patriarchal system through male lineage inheritance—for instance, the male gender inheriting power from the society or external environment. While patriarchy is inherited and relies more on the male gender, according to the individualistic model, success is not through the person’s relationship with society or external environment but individual achievement. Through patriarchy, we understand some powers, previlages or authorities are from a specific gender, which isn’t the case in an individualistic model—for example, someone’s relationship with God.
What does Frye mean by “oppression”? and how is it different than being miserable or frustrated?.
When reading frye discussion on oppression , the meaning of oppression is limitations for someone , male or female. its being subjected to certain authorization that limits you. she went further with her statement saying that females are oppressed but also male , but the difference between them is that the male benefits more than female.
The difference between oppression and feeling frustrated and miserable is that as frye said you can be oppressed (limited) without feeling frustrated. so being frustrated and or miserable mean your angry or upset about whats going on or whats happening to you but just like frye said males are also oppressed but it benefits them, they are not frustrated on their standpoint on some things.
#1. What does Frye mean by “oppression” and how is it different than being miserable or frustrated? What does Lorde’s essay tell us about oppression? How do you relate to these pieces, if at all? Can you think of examples or experiences that connect to Frye and/or Lorde’s arguments.
What Frye means by “oppression” and how it is different than being miserable or frustrated is that oppression leads to toxic outcomes will be that if the individual tries to escape or detach themselves from the situation. Frye states that it in a way oppression is a chain of hatred the behavior continues to occur if it is not stopped “We hear that oppressing is oppressive to those who oppress as well as to those they oppress.” That the individuals are in these certain situations in which they will be exposing themselves to harmful outcomes. Frye says “The mundane experience of the oppressed people is the double bind-situations in which options are reduced to a very few, and all of them exposed one to penalty, censure, or deprivation.” Being oppressed is like wearing a smiling mask to hide the fact of these individuals are being oppressed since if one might find out that they are oppressed it could lead to death or rape.
Oppression is much different to being miserable or frustrated because the individual can choose to change their mindset into something much more positive and there will be no backlash if they show how they truly feel. Out of the whole reading by Frye is oppression is like a cage in a way Frye was able to describe such a multifaceted word in a poetic and simple manner. It hinders these individuals and it’s like their wings are clipped, they are alive however they not living freely.
I might be wrong but I am not so sure so I will just mention how I related to Frye’s reading. In the part where she mentions how a man is opening the door in order to receive the women’s package even though she is fully able to open the door herself and receive the package herself, that is one way of oppression. Im 19 years old and I still live with my parents, my mother gives me my privacy because she has enough trust in me that if a problem arose I would alert her. On the other hand I feel like my father is in a way “machista”. My parents are both from Oaxaca, Mexico born and raised so the culture of machismo has been a topic for the longest and continuous to be. My mother is infuriated by machismo and my father is somewhat “machista”. My father would open any type of mail I received, even though it was my mail. I felt overlooked and kind of disrespected because just like my mom raised me, being strict but also giving me space. By him doing that it threw me off. I confronted him and told him that if it had my name on the correspondence, then it wasn’t his to touch. I have a younger teen brother so he is just paying attention to our every move and facial expressions, he will obviously pick everything that he senses. Teaching the young that it does not matter if someone is a little or a lot older than they are, they should not be allowing any type of toxic situations, but sometimes it is inevitable.
Lordes reading “There Is No Hierarchy of Oppression” demonstrates that she too has an interpretation of oppression. It would signify since she is black and a member of the LGBTQ community if she is attacked for being either then that means it is an attack on being both Black and lesbian. She also mentions that certain problems in society connect to racism as well, “I have learned that sexism and heterosexism both arise from the same source as racism.”
I think both Frye and Lorde advocate for a stronger unity of those who are and aren’t oppressed, to form an ally because at the end of the day, the more people are educated on social and humane topics the better the community will be because of how much more of an understanding place it will be.
Expectations and requirements go hand in hand with one another. In order to be apart of something you must have the requirements of certain characteristics and therefore must be expected to meet them. As a female, I was taught like many young girls to be the perfect housewife and to cook and clean all the way to my deathbed. I was told to act properly, like a “lady”, to be more lady like, to close my legs, to eat less so I’ll stay “skinny and thin”. All these feminine expectations were required because of a simple chromosome difference. Ijeoma A and C. J. Pascoe talk about these expectations that are placed on boys and girls that society has deemed normal in their books “Because You’re a Girl” and “Dude You’re A Fag”.
Like Ijeoma, I yearn for my family’s approval, I made the best effort to behave and act as they wanted. Sometimes that would consist biting my tongue and holding back the urge to scream and yell “this isn’t fair, why must I be treated differently because of my gender?!” I would be lying if I said I have never thought of what life was like if I were born as a boy. As an Asian American, I was taught countless times about the importance of the position of power in the household. Being Chinese, it was known that in China many Chinese families preferred sons over daughters because they had the ability to earn more economy. Therefore males were seen as business men and workers whereas females were seen as housewives and cooks. Ijeoma was also taught a similar belief from her family as well, her parents,
“uncles and aunts had Four Commandments incorporating what a woman’s responsibilities were to her family 1. Her office is the kitchen. 2. She is responsible for all the chores in the home. 3. She is accountable for the children and their actions. 4. And, of course, she must pledge complete and total allegiance to the man in charge first, before herself” (Ijeoma 216).
Although we come from different cultures and background it is clear that male dominance and female submission is universal throughout the globe. Similarly, life is never easy on both ends and sometimes ideas and values can be toxic.
We promote female submission as much as we a society promote male masculinity. Male dominance is seen as much as female subordinates in our daily lives and is implemented into movies, videos, music and/or in skits. In most music videos today, we tend to see females being sexualized and subjected to the male performer while they are shown as strong, powerful and masculine. Pascoe opens up her book with a scene from the Mr. Cougar competition to present and illustrate the “dynamics of sexuality, gender, social class, race, bodies, and institutional practices that constitute adolescents masculinity” (Pascoe 3). In the scene, Brent and Craig acted weak when they showed no form of masculinity, therefore showing the connection between the two while also promoting the idea of male dominance. After working out, “the boys shed their weak, effeminate, and possibly homosexual identities.. [and] become so physically imposing” (Pascoe 3). This entails the idea that if you look masculine and strong, you therefore hold power, if you are shown as weak and feminine, you in turn laughed/mocked at and looked down upon. The thought of connecting these two ideas together continues to promote male masculinity subconsciously.
As we continue to embed the fundamental ideas of male dominance and female subordinates into our society, we continue to allow unjust and unfair treatment to many who have received backlash from these customs like Ijeoma. Instead we should allow individuals to be themselves as they truly are without the influence or pressure of conforming to societies standards and expectations. By allowing more viewpoints into our society we will be able to grow into a more diverse community that is open to new ideas and new perspectives like the LGPTQ+ community. By doing so we continue to fight against labels and oppression caused by these corruptive ideas.
What Frye means about oppression is that its correct meaning is misconstrued or misunderstood in many cases. Being frustrated or miserable/unhappy does not mean people are oppressed. Oppression is feeling your caged in unable to get out. like she refers to the feeling like a bird being caged up. Having bars all around him where is confined to a tight space.
Oppression can be hard to see because of how the mind perceives oppression. Some people perceive oppression as being married and wanting to get out of it, which is not oppression it is a person which is miserable or frustrated with the opposite partner, while others believe oppression is systemic racism or sexual stereotypes on women which explain a better meaning on the word oppression.
Women are oppressed as women being members of a certain race or economic class or group but men that are in that economic group are oppressed as well because of being of color but not men are not oppressed as men.
Evidence to this statement by Frye is true today because, women do not make the same salary the males makes even if they carry the same job titles or positions. We have been labeled as homemakers even if we hold jobs to feed the family. We are sexually profiled by man and in some cases our own husbands.
For this week’s discussion board, please reply to one of the following sets of questions– you do not need to reply to all of them (but you are welcome to do so!). When writing about specific readings, try to find a quote in the text that helps to back up your point or discussion.
What does Frye mean by “oppression” and how is it different than being miserable or frustrated? What does Lorde’s essay tell us about oppression? How do you relate to these pieces, if at all? Can you think of examples or experiences that connect to Frye and/or Lorde’s arguments?
What is the system of patriarchy? How do we participate in this system? What does this approach help us to see that an individualistic model does not? Give specific examples.
Fausto-Sterling and the IG chat both take up the issue of intersexness. What connections do you see between medical systems and sex/gender? What are the questions that come up for you as you read/watch these pieces?
Ijeoma A. and Pascoe write about expectations that are placed on girls and boys, respectively. What are some of the norms that they write about? What are some of the norms that you grew up with, either in your own experience or that you witnessed? How did you relate to these norms?
Please title your post: First Name Last Name: DB 2 and select “DB 2” as the category for your post.
