Feminist Memoir
In Ijeoma’s article, “Because you’re a Girl,” she discusses her experience living in Nigeria in a family that there were distinct gender roles. The issue of gender roles in a society there is usually the expectation that is placed. I lived in a family and community that valued gender roles, and we were supposed to conform to them and do as per what the community dictated. When as young girls, we were not allowed to go out unless accompanied by our brothers. In Ijeoma’s article, she talks about how she was raised in a country where a set of rules was created to define a woman’s responsibility to her family in her community. As a child, she was required to prepare meals for the family, take care of her brothers and attend school. Despite all this, she did not disrespect her parents, and she did as she was supposed to. Ijeoma got a way to express herself and her true identity in school, where she could control her destiny.
These experiences are some that almost all of us go through. My life was almost the same because we would do more chores than our brothers despite being of the same age in the house. The issue of gender inequality raises many questions all over the world today. The roles that we are taught are usually different depending on gender. Elements in intersectionality interact and intertwine, and this results in unique identities for individuals. We all have our own experiences of discrimination and oppression. Therefore, we must consider everything that marginalizes people in terms of gender, class, race, and sexual orientation. Through intersectionality, I was able to understand the roles that the different genders play in society.
Intersectionality means that through the experiences we have gone through, there might have been marginalization that has happened to us. In intersectionality, there is the assertion that several sources of oppression often disadvantages people (Anzaldua, 1987). There is the recognition that identity markers do not exist independent of each other, and each informs the other in a way that creates a convergence of oppression. From my experience, gender, color, and class converged to make my life. As a woman of color, some expectations were placed on me, and most of the time, I got minimal opportunities.
The earliest memory I had about my gender was the fact that while our brothers were allowed to go out and play, we were only allowed to do that on the condition that our brothers accompanied us. As girls in the family, we were not very much allowed the freedom to leave the house. There was no equality at all, and most of the time, we were left to do the house chores while the boys are out playing. There was a way that we were supposed to behave even around the house. This influenced how my life turned, and as I grew up, I knew the roles that I was supposed to do as a woman. In Ijeoma’s article, she states that she was supposed to take care of her brothers and cook for her family despite going to school. This shows inequality whereas as a girl you have to do more than boys although you are of the same age.
From the society that I lived there were so many gendered expectations that we went through. I learned so much from these gendered expectations and knew my position as a girl. For instance, as girls, we were always expected to be in the house before 7 o’clock, and my parents were very strict about this. There are usually expectations that society puts on and expects the different genders to adhere to dressing, behavior, and presentation. I knew that my parents expected my brothers to be aggressive and bold (Collective, 1977). As girls, my mother always told us to be polite, accommodating, and nurturing. I learned that society consistently placed some values in how we carried ourselves, and we were always supposed to conform to the expectations. In school, things changed a bit as we were all treated equally, and that is where I could express my identity well. Even though in school, things were different, there were still some levels of expectations placed on us. As girls, there was a way that we were treated by teachers in school, which was sometimes different from how boys were treated. All these gave me lessons to know my position as a girl in society at all times. At one time, my mother denied us playing time but allowed the boys and said that we are not expected to be outside all the time because, as girls, we are not expected to be outside.
I have come to accept some things that society has put in as gender norms throughout my life. However, there are some gender norms that I have been able to challenge because I don’t believe in them. For instance, as a girl is supposed to be always in the house, I challenged because I believe that both boys and girls are supposed to be given enough time to socialize. In the article by Ijeoma, at one time, as she was washing the dishes and her cousin approached her, telling her to hurry up so that he could drink water. She felt frustrated by this, and she ended up having an outburst with her cousin. I have constantly challenged the idea of objectifying women to men throughout my life, and I believe all should be treated equally. Despite all these expectations, there is supposed to be equal treatment. There are so many other gender norms that I have accepted, like how I am supposed to present myself and how I dress, which to me is more of my character.
In life, whether in terms of family, friendships, or relationships, gender plays a significant role. In many of my friendships that I have had, we are usually equal, and we treat each other that way. In the work that I do, there is usually Equality when it comes to payment, and anybody can do any job without considering gender. In the relationships and friendships that I have been in, there are gender plays a significant role in that there is a way that I am supposed to present myself. As a woman in friendships that I have been in, I am supposed to be humble and most of the time, it is the men who make decisions on what we are supposed to do. At times, I usually quarreledwith my male friends because they want to dictate everything and believe that we as ladies should be passive. A friend of mine was in a relationship, and his boyfriend was always insisting that all decisions were supposed to come from him, and my friend would ask before doing anything. In such relationships, gender plays a role as the man becomes the leader and always tells the girl what to do. Gender here is what dictates the decisions to be made and who is to make what decisions. In our family, gender played a role; there were things that I have done in the house because, as a girl, my parents restricted me. My parents always insisted that we were supposed to do the house chores for us,although the boys could help. An experience that I had was when I visited a neighbor and found out that in the house, it was exclusively girls who were supposed to make meals and do all house chores. Gender played a huge role in my parents’ choices, and up to date, my mother is usually skeptical about some things that I do, which she thinks should be reserved for boys. My parents always maintained that many house chores were supposed to be done by the girls, and the boys would only help. When it came to opportunities, boys were always given priority,and I remember one time I complained to my father about it. He had to change and start giving all of us equal opportunities.
According to my, feminism is all about giving equal opportunities to both genders. Feminism should be about affording Equality for opportunities and spaces where there is level ground for all. I can define feminism as having equal opportunities for all genders and having a level playing field for the genders where no gender feels marginalized. Most of the time, women and girls are not given opportunities, and feminism addresses this by ensuring equal opportunities. Feminism is essential because it promotes Equality and affords every gender the best opportunities to excel and do well. With Equality, everyone will be able to do better and have the chance to excel.
References
Anzaldúa, G. (1987). Borderlands/La frontera: The new mestiza.
Collective, C. R. (1983). The Combahee river collective statement. Homegirls: A Black feminist anthology, 264-74.
Collective, C. R. (1977). ‘A Black Feminist Statement’ (pp. 210-218). na.
Assessment
I feel that my project met my goals because I could discuss all that appertains feminism in the memoir. I linked my experience very well and discussed all that the materials had. From the help that I got from the instructor and others, I incorporated it into the project by looking at where I was corrected and made sure that I did it to my best. My project has used every excellentexperience, and I think that is my project strength. If I had more time, I would continue so that I can discuss more insights. I enjoyed explaining my experiences, although it was somehow difficult to link them to what the materials had.
I have done my best in the project; hence, I deserve an A forexcellent work.