Author: Annabeth Stoll

 

The workshop we attended last week was very helpful. Especially during quarantine being in close quarters with a roommate, it is hard to make sure everyone is communicating their needs properly. I live with my best friend, so we are usually able to sort through our problems quickly, but isolation has definitely made things hard. I find that communication is the biggest factor I need to pay close attention to in relationships (platonic, familial, or romantic), because I have unfortunately experienced some of the negative behaviors we discussed. People who do not support you in a healthy way should all attend workshops like this! If only to recognize their toxic behaviors and hopefully rethink their approach.

Something I realized a few years back: not everyone wants to receive love the same way that I do. Attachment styles are different, and everyone should be able to express that to those around them.

Anita Hill’s story is unfortunately not unfamiliar. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony regarding her sexual assault at the hands of the now Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh still feels raw and recent. However, when Hill spoke to the Senate regarding Justice Clarence Thomas, misogyny ran rampant in government (this was not long before Clinton and Lewinsky), and sexual misconduct was not in the day-to-day vocabulary of Americans.

The voicemail left on Anita Hill’s WORK answering machine by Justice Thomas’ wife 20 odd years after her initial testimony is hard to listen to. The imagination, time and effort that would go into falsifying the allegations made is the first thing that comes to my mind. Who would go to the trouble, and put their own name and reputation at risk? It was truly crushing to open with such blatant victim-blaming from one woman towards another. The voicemail itself makes me feel as if Thomas’ wife is full of hate, hate that could be better directed towards her husband for his actions.

The questions asked of Hill that we hear in “Anita: Speaking Truth to Power” are mind-boggling to say the least. One of the first we hear asked of her is to recount the most embarrassing situation she found herself in with Thomas. When she later mentions that both living through the events and recounting them are equally as painful, no one bats an eyelash. Senator Howell Heflin goes as far as to ask her if she is a “scorned woman.” Victims are often made out to be something they are not, which is in the wrong. They are not seeking to be sexually harassed. So why do we constantly ask them such pointed questions?

It is truly upsetting to me that the government has not provided more assistance to Americans throughout the pandemic. I personally have struggled financially at times, but overall have been fortunate enough to afford my bills and be able to continue a pretty consistent quality of life compared to pre-Covid. Seeing the differences in YoY unemployment rates among different women is mind-boggling. 2.5% to 11.6% for Asian women (“The Simple Truth About the Gender Pay Gap”) is the biggest jump, and really shines a light in terms of the industries that they were working in (typically public facing) being the hardest hit. Back to my initial point: clearly people living in the US are struggling immensely, the national unemployment rate is still at 6.2% (as of 2/2021). The government has provided $3000 over the course of a year, and at least in New York money, this barely covers a month, MAYBE two of expenses. It is honestly abhorrent (though not surprising) to me that we are a “superpower of the world” and cannot obtain regular financial assistance in such an unprecedented time…

The first thing that struck me from this week’s reading was from the second line on New York’s 2016 Executive Order regarding Access to Single Sex Facilities Consistent with Gender Identity and Expression.

“WHEREAS, the New York City Human Rights Law has expressly prohibited discrimination on the basis of gender identity and gender expression since 2002.”

Is that not absolutely BONKERS? I feel like 2002 was NOT that long ago… That’s honestly my full thought, that just really surprised me.

I’ve always been baffled on the most baseline argument for allowing trans people to use the bathrooms for their chosen gender identity. Privacy stalls inside restrooms exist for a reason, and I don’t know about anyone else… but I don’t usually spend my time in restrooms peeking in on other people to see what they’re up to. I suppose what I mean to say is, a trans person using a restroom isn’t in any way “in your face.” One would argue that it’s the opposite. All this to say, it is also BONKERS that it needs to be an argument at all.

TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) often, but not always, fall under what I see as cultural feminism – women who preach for the cause of women when it is convenient or appropriate for them. I feel like my own interpretation of feminism has shifted so vastly since first discovering the concept of feminism itself, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to specifically exclude other women from my beliefs; because trans women are women. Why in the world should someone else’s identity affect me or god forbid, my bathroom of choice?

I’m a sucker for my dog, and every single morning we wake up and spoon – I truly believe she’s my soulmate and she’s kept me almost sane through the past year. Here’s a picture of her zonked out after a her birthday steak last night.

I find comfort in Twitter because everyone on there feels as unhinged as I do. I think the following two tweets are hilarious, like belly laugh out loud. They kind of describe me as a person. I hope you guys laugh too, and have a wonderful week(+end).

(*I think this one is a WandaVision reference, for those who watched)