GLORY A monolouge written by Jasmine Maldonado. When I was like ten years old all of my friends and I would always talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up- like my best friend Cristal-- well she wanted to be a teacher and there was this boy from mrs.chadicks class, oh what was his name (pause) anyway his would change like every week, doctor, astronut, football player. (caught in a daze) what about me? right duh well I think being the only girl out of five boys, my family had some pretty high expectations for me-- like a vet maybe or I dont know a lawyer or somethin, and my grandmother-GLORIA- she would always say "oh my chickadee God loves you so much, God bless you mija." Man she is always praying over me. trust me I'm not complaining--You know when I was younger we would go to church every sunday together, we would really spend so much time together, its funny shes always telling me that im her favorite, but makes me swear to keep it a secret. I dont know I guess Im always aiming to please.---- oh so I was ten when I figured that in order to make my family proud- I would have the holiest job possible, and geez you wouldnt believe, when youre a girl, religion is no exception to the things that the patriarchy has us limited to, I suppose if you think about it, its pretty fitting. who knew! so it was setteled (pause) a nun! and you know I dont know if GLORIA still thinks I'll be a Holy sister of St Franssics and the Blessed Sacrament of Immaculata evetually but with all the stuff she sends me im pretty much set up to start anyday now. I got a rosary in every color practically and spot too! of course in the bible, by my bed, my wallet. and if youre ever in a pickle- a little somethin GLORIA taught me when I was younger. Jesus,Mary,Joseph (x3) dang, shoot, darnit, ahh God forgive me, I probably should have used that one a few years ago before I had sex with my ex- but dont worry I looked it up, you can acctually still become a nun and NOT be a virgin, Jesus totally forgives that sorta stuff, havent you ever heard of Mary Magdalene-- man Id be such a good nun with all my biblical refrences.
As a young girl, I was practically raised in the church. Told to fear God and to never behave in a way that would call shame upon myself. Unfortunately, this caused me to hold secrets of my own. So while I silently experienced emotional abuse and sexual harassment I fell into a never-ending cycle of guilt, shame, and disappointment all within myself. I was truly alone. My boyfriend at the time was also religious, more so the stereotypical westernized Christianity than my traditional Catholic practice. Often I would hear from him that my own religion was not worthy, for it wasn’t what he knew to be “right by God.” This became a sore subject throughout much of our relationship. Debating whether it was right or wrong, for our hypothetical non-existent children to be baptized. Would we get married in the church? Looking back almost a year later after the ending of an almost three-year relationship, my most serious I might add, I have gained a much clearer understanding of the logistics of my own religious beliefs. Coming to know how they coincide with my day-to-day ethical and moral values. I have realized that while defending my own religious institution I was also, however unintentional, judging out of feelings of righteousness. Moving forward to now, where I am self-assured, confident, and aware that all who are worthy of you accept all of you regardless of differences. So moving forward I intentionally accept and acknowleged not only others but myself as well. Living life the way that makes me fufilled.
