Ijeoma A. and Pascoe write about expectations that are placed on girls and boys, respectively. What are some of the norms that they write about? What are some of the norms that you grew up with, either in your own experience or that you witnessed? How did you relate to these norms?
In Ijeoma A.’s “Because You’re a Girl”, she tells the reader expectations that are placed on girls, especially throughout her life what she was put through. She goes on about how she is expected to be a future housewife, doing everything for her future husband and family. In preparation her family has her doing several chores around the house from a young age. As she’s the only daughter she is stuck doing a lot on her own, with no time really for herself or such. “My parents, uncles, and aunts had Four Commandments incorporating what a woman’s responsibilities were to her family: 1. Her office is the kitchen. 2. She is responsible for all the chores in the home. 3. She is accountable for the children and their actions. 4. And, of course, she must pledge complete and total allegiance to the man in charge first, before herself.“ This is something that was very much expected from women and still is by those who are still “traditional”, though it seems everyone settles to being comfortable in these past expectations and beliefs, the excuse of “its part of our culture” rather than changing for the better of everyone. As shown by her family doing the same: “She’s gone to America, and now she has forgotten about her heritage.”
In Pascoe’s “Making Masculinity: Adolescence, Identity, and High School”, the excerpt from his book goes on about expectations of gender roles from the sexes, specifically masculinity. He brings up how those of the male sex who don’t show strong expectations of “masculinity” are often put down as less, gay, feminine, overall seen as “wrong”.
Throughout my life, I’ve also had some of these norms in place because of my family’s expectations. I’ve always been told to be more “lady-like” and more feminine, to always have proper manners, nice and proper to everyone around because it’s “lady-like”. Times inappropriate language was said from my mouth or others of the female sex, I would remember my family, specifically my parents telling me that it’s bad, especially because it’s from a woman. I remember even as a kid criticized for how I ate because it wasn’t proper for a lady. I also disliked greatly that in school when help with stuff teachers would ask the boys because the boys are known for strength, rather than having students volunteer to help. Because of that, whenever I did get chances to help I would push myself to move, carry or do more to prove my strength to those around me because I like proving myself as strong.
As now I’ve grown, educated, and still learning, I am someone who falls into a place that there should be balance with these expectations that everyone should be able to be themselves and not under rules and expectations that society wants. As someone who doesn’t identify as their birth sex’s “gender” nor fully of the opposite sex’s expectations, I find myself always changing how I express myself, in my physical form and struggle with people changing their thoughts on me because if I’m presenting feminine I’m expected that I’m “normal”, the “old me”, “proper” rather than still me who does have a masculine side to my expression at times or even overall expressing fluidity/unisex/androgynous, which cause difficulty to me and others as well.
