Growing up in a middle-class family allowed me to juggle between my inner thirst for freedom and equality and my society where everything seemed to follow certain rules based on biology, sex orientation, genitalia, society, culture.
My family is one of the societal constitutions that influenced who I am today, how I feel about my gender, and how the members of my society see and expect me to behave and act.
From a young age, I got to taste the biological theory in my society and how it sets a clear distinction between the genders and their chromosome. The lucky one is the one with the XY because his life will be full of high expectations and higher societal roles for the rest of his life.
They were different expectations from my brothers and me within the family and the community. All young girls need to stay virgins until marriage while men are free to do whatever they want because they need to be pure. I needed to learn how to maintain a household and take care of children while going to school, while my brothers were expected to be strong and never show weakness or even cry because only the girls who can cry.
How can we justify these norms? is it social learning or are we born with the gender expectations in our minds?
According to Foss et.al., “Social Learning theory says you learned to be who you are by observing others, imitating them, and being rewarded or punished for certain behaviors” (13). Defrancisco further explains, “When gender behavior is modeled correctly, meaning it is consistent with sex identity, it is rewarded; if done incorrectly, it is punished. Particularly with children, this process of modeling, reinforcement, and punishment shapes gender/sex identities” (38).
A girl is destined to wear pink, play will doll, have long hair, smooth skin, wear makeup and look attractive, be the center of amusement, find a husband and take care of her family. While a boy can play with gun toys, be loud, fight to show strong personality, have short hair, never wear feminine colors like pink or listen to girl’s music if not he won’t be a man and might be called gay.
I was fortunate to go to a mixed school when boys and girls can study and interact with each other while others had to go to girls-only or boys-only schools. And since I have brothers, I was always trying to get more attention by planning my next step. No one dares to face a society where everyone has a designed role. Either you fit the norms, or you hide under the perfect image and do whatever you want in secrecy. It is very hard to break free from gender stereotyping even within the family. Growing up as a girl, I was giving everything I wanted if I acted accordingly. Talking with a low voice, always looking clean with my hair tight in the back, sitting properly and never crossing my legs like men would do in order not to show my vagina, smile, do my homework on time, and never run like a boy because it’s not appropriate.
Cognitive development is another aspect where kids learn and develop their persona and character either with family, TV cartoons, media, school reinforced these aspects, and dig a deeper separation between a male and a female. Girls are the princesses waiting for their prince charming to rescue them because they cannot rescue themselves. Boys are the heroes and the savers. I felt that I was older than my age, I always was debating in my head what is right and what is wrong, always questioning everything around me. As a grew older and specialty when I become a teenager, I could not bear seeing the gender exclusion in my society. Yes, I was lucky that my dad and my mom were very open to changes and me questioning the world. So I decided to find a way to have a more positive impact in myself, to have a better chance in life, not to fall into the system’s gender stereotyping, and end up being married with children and depending on my husband financially. The only way out was to study and that is what I did, while my girlfriends were in search of husbands I was in search of schools, internships, and independence.
when I met my husband, I did not know how to cook or clean properly, or should I say ” How a woman is expected to take these roles and be good at them ”. My husband was and still the better cook even my four-year-old said: mummy I like when daddy cooks, it tastes better’’.Maybe that is my inner revolt against society putting a woman and a man into a certain frame and assigning their roles and duties.
Moving to the United States was a big step for me and my dreams of equality, liberty, and finding my inner self, but with time I discovered that we too as a diverse community suffers from gender stereotyping. Gender’s influence is Omni-present as it intersects with race, sexuality, social and economic class, culture, and physical ability. The only way to overcome this challenge is to be financially powerful to have a say in the community or to have powerful knowledge to make a difference and to have a positive impact as well.
Firdawce Gender Institutional Artifact “Legally Blonde”
Media and especially today’s movies reflect the social behavior and the impact of gender when it interacts with race, sexuality, social or economic class, backgrounds, and physical ability in both sexes’ male and female. Legally Blonde Movie is one of the many movies that identify with the society gender bias and reflects how we treat and communicate with each other based on sex and body parts.
Discussion #7
Every person regardless of their gender, age, backgrounds, and culture seek validation at the workplace, but when faced with different obstacles that make it harder to get promoted, to get noticed by the bosses to ask for a raise, one feels discouraged and unable to move forward.
I will be examining the following the stereotyping against women and blonde based on the following movie released in 2001, and social reinforcement of these ideas.
a-The sexual harassment of ”Elle” in the workplace because she is a blonde female. Sexism and harassment in the workplace is an issue I see omi-present every day.
The assumption has men have more power, more knowledge, and always have a higher position is seen as a normal thing because that’s the way it supposes to be and that’s what the social norms are. When men hold the power they are allowed to harass women and pressure them to accept flirting, unwanted advances, and or gifts.
Women have to work even harder to obtain a promotion or a raise. I even was told once: Why do you need a raise, don’t you have a husband who takes care of your family? I’m certain that a man will never be asked the same question just because he is a man.
b-Workplace inequality toward women and the assumption that women are incapable of being a leader. Sex and gender identity reflect a lot of complex issues within our society. Just because your sex and physiology show masculine body parts like penis, hairy legs and arms, deep voice tone doesn’t necessary means that the gender has to reflect the same, and on the other hand, having a reproductive female system, short body and soft voice can’t mean that one is a woman. A person’s sex, as determined by his or her biology, does not always correspond with his or her gender, but is more related to how one feels comfortable in their body, and that this men or woman’s body part represents who they are as an individual and an active member of the society. This can have a positive or a negative impact on the job, for example, men have more chances to ask for a raise and to get promoted in the workplace while women have to work much harder to get noticed.
c-Stereotype bias where women are described as caring, sensitive, weak while men are strong and hold the power. These descriptions can portray an unfit between the personality a woman is supposed to have and has.
d- Cultural capital by comparing the character played by Reese Witherspoon” Elle Woods” and the character played by Selma Blair ”Vivian Kensington”.
Culture capital and backgrounds can also have a huge impact on one’s perception of men or a woman and their gender roles within society and at the workplace. Education, intellect, style of speech, dress, or physical appearance can influence the gender ‘s image and its reflection of society. ”Elle” character was always wearing pink dresses, hair bows, she has a small dog. Her upcoming from a wealthy background enabled her a lot of privileges like going to Harvard School, affording a nice lifestyle, and nice manicure all the time. All these characteristics reflect a soft stylish and well-spoken female.
The history proofs that Since the creation of men and women on earth until now, the division of labor has been organized according to gender roles and, consequently, some types of activity are considered more appropriate for men while others jobs are allotted to women.
The evolution of technology and social media has helped shape our minds and thinking a certain way, but if we educate ourselves and treat each other respectfully based on merit and human rights we will be on the right path to a homogenous society.
Discussion #2
My Identity MapMy Updated Identity Map
Going through this chapter has been challenging for me, I come from a place where gender bias is very present every day. Women and men are considered the complete opposite of each other and they never complete each other either. Men are the leader and women are the supporter and the nurturer behind the scenes.
Analyzing the diagram was pretty fascinating. ”, sex, gender, and sexuality interlace” diagram was the one that stood out the most to me. It’s really simple yet full of information that anyone can understand easily.
The values that shape who am I today and who I will be tomorrow are Family, Optimistic, and Ambition, as well as female. I was under the impression that the gender binary system existed in the third country world only, but to my surprise, I see it and leave it at work and within the society as well. Race, social class, gender are and will still be present as long as we believe in them and we don’t feel that we are all different but unique and we can learn from each other.
being a female and going through the struggles of gender bias made me even stronger and more ambitious to realize my dreams and to push more and more no matter what obstacles I faced. I strongly believe that each person’s personality and characters are the molds of society and family. I come from a family of four siblings where competition is always a key to get more and more attention. I’m the first one in my family to go to college, there is a huge indirect pressure on me to succeed and do well in my life.
Optimism and ambition have a huge impact I’m daily life, looking at the bright side of any problem make a big difference in how we can deal and survive bigger struggles and survive.
Life is beautiful if we think and feel beautiful.
Looking to grow and do better in life without fear and taking risks can you be looked at reckless and not happy with my life. But I still persevere no matter what people’s opinions can be.
lastly, my family.who can support you better than your family? They are my backbone and my spinal cord. I have a beautiful that I’m thankful for every day. Looking at the daughter’s and my son’s face every day makes every struggle and every dream worth the effort and the sacrifice I’m going through.
Journal Entry #2
Gender Binary system and its influence in our society.
‘’ The gender binary system defines the existence of two opposite gender, race, and class, black and white. Masculine and feminine. Rich and poor. Straight and gay. Able-bodied and disabled’’.
Male and female, are the genders accepted by society, anyone who doesn’t fit these characteristics will be considered abnormal and will be pushed away from the society unless he or she can adjust her body to be normal according to the norms that were decided within the community.
According to Gayle Rubin (1984), “the link between biological sex, social gender, and sexual attraction are products of culture’’. Each induvial role is decided based on her or his physiology even before birth. As soon as the parents know that they will be having a baby girl or a baby boy, they will be making decisions accordingly. A room can be painted pink or blue, baby shower themes must match with the baby’s gender, gifts, toys, and outfits follow the sale rule.
eventually and we all grow up with the idea that woman is destined to nurture and to care for their families while men have more power to decide and are always the house leader.
The gender binary system is present in every aspect of life, home, work, relationships, family. I believe that its graved into our head. When I think about changing a light bulb or moving my bed, I always think that I ask my husband to do it because unconsciously I feel that his body is stronger even if I can do it. The culture and the community’s impact is huge and can reshape our thinking and behavior positively or negatively.
The binary system considered the existence of the black and white race in America only. What about the rest of the population and minorities: Spanish, Asian, Arabs …? I believe that the concept of the social class and the Cultural capital will have a huge impact on integrating them into the society.
According to the late sociologist Pierre Bourdieu (1984) ‘’non-monetary class differences such as tastes in food and music or knowledge of high culture’’ will influence the integration of these nonwhite population and eventually considering them as White population and vital part of the society like what happened with the Irish and the Jewish population.
Can we embrace our differences, consider them as unique, look beyond races, social class, other identities, and reduce our difference to simple binaries? Or is it simply said but never done.
