In today’s reading, one term that really stuck out to is cultural ideology. I like this term because it explains why the majority of racist people are racist or discriminate. In summary, it is all about how one is raised. If one is raised to be loving, fair, kind, and understand variety and differences than he will most likely continue to be that way. Racism and discrimination is usually taught. Racist come from other racist. People who discriminate based of sexual preference usually come from anti-homosexual backgrounds or cultures. Some examples of cultural ideology is children automatically expected to receive their dad’s last name, or football teams only for men. Cultural ideology also play a huge role in some microaggressions. In today’s second reading, I believe the reason the African American boy was offended because as an African American sometimes people are surprised how intelligent and articulate we are. The young man most likely thought the professor was mocking him instead of giving a real compliment or praise. Personally, I’ve experienced this kind of microaggression plenty of times. Growing up a lot of my peers would tell me I sound “white” or talk like I’m “white”. In other words, they were telling me I sound too educated or too articulate. As an African American woman it is sometimes degrading for someone to compliment my speaking skills because usually people don’t tell a white person how articulate they are because its expected.

When we have a society that is able to talk freely about sex without it being this taboo topic we may see a decrease in people’s reactions to it and to how others express themselves. Whether it be the physical act of sex or someone “performing” their gender. Though “performing” their gender wouldn’t be used to describe a ‘white, heterosexual male’ so why should it be applied to those who don’t fit the man-made gender binary put in place to divide society in to one of either category while ignoring many people across many backgrounds, nationalities, etc.?

Sex should be something that is enjoyed by all who is engaging and engaging freely. And reading the article about having a safe word regardless of the encounter made much sense in the regard that a person is able to end an encounter without having to answer questions or make up excuses for why the encounter should end and would give those courage who would be afraid otherwise. And regardless if you consented in the beginning, once you no longer consent, the “encounter” should immediately grind to a halt.

• Human sexual activity or behaviors is in the manner of expression of asexuality and human experiences with another individual. Sex is a very intimate act that is done with a significant other or even a stranger just for pleasure. Sex is another way to communicate with another individual. For example, having sex with a partner expresses love and security with that person. Having sex with someone you do not know expresses lust and just at the moment feeling that is very short-termed. We communicate in various ways in which our communication and expressions can be perceived. When we talk about sex, our consent and refusal can be misinterpreted by the way we may communicate with a person. Flirting, smiling, talking, or showing any type of attraction to a male or female show that you have an interest in that individual and also indirectly give consent to a sexual attraction that would lead to those having sex. Refusal of sex, saying no, or not showing any type of attraction tells that person that you are not interested. In the article “Consent and refusal are not the only talking points in sex”, it states that “ we can autonomously consent to all sorts of bad sex for terrible reasons” this is an issue for most women because we do not know how to say no or we feel obligated to do something that we have control over. Sex should not be forced nor should someone feel as if they are obligated to please a man or woman if they do not want to do so. This sense of action is meant to be loving and intimately special between two genders whether its same-sex or opposite. Rape is an act of forced and non-consented act of sex which is shown throughout the world and is an issue seen between elder males and young teen females. For example, an elder male finding a 16 year old attractive due to personal insecurities or lack of pleasure leads him to vulnerable girls that cannot help themselves. Sometimes we make it seem like we henced an invitation to that person that was taken the wrong way. Another example is a 16-year-old just being nice and friendly because the elder male made a conversation and due to her consistent smiling and talking that man thought that she might like the idea of having sexual intercourse because she seems interested. We must be attentive to the way we speak and use our body language because we can be misinterpreted in many ways that can lead to conflicts, it may also lead to what we want because we truly found that person attractive or sexual fantasies that we may have. Sexual autonomy requires the ability to engage and communicate efficient sexual communication.

There are many different ways in which we can communicate and how our communication  and expressions can be interpreted. When it comes to talking about sex and what we consider to consent or refuse when it comes to sexual situations there are many ways in which things that are said can be misinterpreted. According to the article consent and refusal are not the only talking points I realized that indeed sometimes even when we consent into exploring different things during sex , we can consent because that what we truly want, or because we are afraid that our partner might leave if we don’t consent into trying new things or simply because we want the sex without necessarily liking or agreeing to the terms. In the article it mentioned that “we can autonomously consent to all sorts of bad sex, for terrible reasons”, and like I mentioned this is true but as we grow we learn that as women we must consent to things we truly want to and not feel obligated to accept if we do no want to, woman can be left to feel as if we are objects whom can easily be replaced if we don’t accept to the terms men want and that is not right or true.

Also as it was mentioned the way we say things may be interpreted in the wrong way, for example if a smile or really talkative conversation might make someone think you are flirting with them, or sometimes that way you say something might make it seem as if you’re questioning, screaming or even doubting. This takes me to the YouTube video your behavior creates your gender when Judith Butler mentioned that someone shouted out their window “Are you a lesbian” but it wasn’t clear if it was a question or if the woman was looking to harass her or just curious and wanted to be sure. We must be careful in the way we approach or even say things because they can easily be misinterpreted.  Another topic that is being discussed which is of major importance to what we have been talking about through out the semester is the way gender is interpreted, Judith Butler mentioned that we tend to act as if being of a man or being a woman is an internal reality, which is very important because its not something we must act upon but we must act upon on the gender we feel most comfortable in.

1-The reading from the Performing Gender and Interpersonal Communication Research opened up a the door of the debate over feminine theory and its extension  to the theoretical, fictional, or philosophical discourse, it also brings up the gender inequality between male and female, and how the power is shifted socially to a specific gender over the other one:” great satisfaction we were then able to assert that “sex is a biological designation,” and “gender is a set of socially constructed expectations for women and men.”

when one is born,s/she is full of hope and freedom that they can achieve and be whoever they want to be, but as s/he grows older they face many social barriers, limitations, and oppressions that dictate what women and men are intended to be. Following the norms of the society where one was born is inevitable to stay connected to the society and because we can’t change these rules unless we hold the power in our hand; ”recognizes that we are born into and must operate within a network of power relations, not of our own making” (p. 375)”.

Gender discrimination is related to social constructions and not to the body’s biology.” the separation of sex and gender allowed us to point to social constructions, not biological destiny as the source of women’s oppression and men’s privileges”.Some of the social discriminations that men and women face are seen in the interpretation of gender from the early stages of life and even before birth.” the separation of sex and gender allowed us to point to social constructions, not biological destiny as the source of women’s oppression and men’s privileges” Every family is waiting to have that boy impatiently because males are seen as assets and as a household leader who holds the family name, while women are seen as a burden until they find a husband.

Analyzing the gender performance, exploring the theatrical performance as a metaphor for the materialization, surveying previous research on performativity will help educate our minds and make us aware of the big gap between both genders in the community and how we can make that inequality disappear.

2-  Sex is a fantasy that everyone is looking for. Extending oral and body communication in the ” Consent and refusal is not the only talking points/ sex talk” article was interesting on how one can refuse or accept an invitation, a request for sexual activity, or an invitation without feeling pressured to accept it if not it will be unethical and harmful.

we use communication every day to express ourselves to receive and send messages but I feel that we do it subconsciously that we don’t pay attention to the details, the tone, and the force used during this activity. J L Austin’s speech act theory ”focus on what an act of speaking accomplishes, as opposed to what its words mean ”.  And it shows the power of words and the things we can do with them is enormous.

To engage in a safe sexual activity, we need to follow few steps: consenting to the act willingly, having clear communication about roles and expectations from this activity, willing to participate in an ethical sex act where both parties are satisfied to a certain limit.

Sexual invitation, gifts, and invitation all shared the common characteristics that leave the recipient free to turn it down without being pressured to accept or refuse and at the same time required gratitude from both sides in case of an approval of an invitation or a request for sexual activity.

Also, the method of the Safewords allowed people to engage in any given activity where certain rules are already set can be a great way to satisfy one’s desire, because both parties can exit the activity any time without explanation and without hurting each other during a sex act, or any other activity because it enables the physical and emotional safety for everyone.

3- ”Your Behavior Creates Your Gender video by the American philosopher and gender theorist Judith Butler explains the fact on how someone’s behavior can demonstrate their gender regardless of their sex and physiology that was given at birth.

””We act and walk and speak and talk in ways that consolidate an impression of being a man or being a woman.”

the gender of a woman or a man is something that one should relate too and feel comfortable with. If one is given a male body but s/he feels more feminine that reflects an unbalanced fit between the gender and the sex wich will create more trouble if there is no family and or social support toward this imbalance. So if I speak and I feel as a woman in the body of a man I should be a woman because my behavior and my lifestyle reflect who I am and who I want to be.

In these times the subject of sex is very normal, nowadays it is spoken without any kind of restrictions or filters on the subject but even so, there are controversies about it. This article shows how to speak the language of sex, how communication is essential in it. Usually, when this topic appears, you always end up insisting that certain things happen, but without directly asking if that other person is really on the same page. No matter what kind of relationship it is, it can be friends with benefits or a serious relationship, requests flow fast and are very common. The language of sexual negotiations is very important because hinting at different things depending on how that person says it and the words they use. In a way, differences are made in how that person asks certain questions or insinuations, for example; in the article, it says “what differentiates them is less their meaning than what they do, and what kinds of actions they call for from their audience. One calls for an answer, one conveys information, one demands action, and one suggests an action for consideration.” This shows how important it is to think before saying anything to the person you are with, everything someone says can react, but it might not be the one they are expecting to be, it can go as planned as well as the other way around. Also, sexual communication does not always have to be about asking someone to be with you, it is about getting along during the process by speaking about certain topics or things they would like to experience because having an open conversation it is not just asking for sex it is having a good negotiation where you can speak about anything or just even to feel free to disagree with it.

In this complex world, where people admire sex. It could be the upmost challenge to desire the sex preference that you want, more less harder to convey a conversation that doesn’t go left than what you originally wanted. In this article it tells you ways how to accomplish these steps and to speak the language of sex.

Normally, when all works out positively, commencements of sex appear as solicitations, not demands. Particularly when we are simply getting along with somebody just because, regardless of whether for an easygoing hookup or toward the beginning of a progressively genuine relationship, solicitations are an increasingly normal and ordinarily more suitable method of starting sex than are demands. According to Rebecca Kukla when you are involved with somebody, it’s not generally outside the  boundaries for you to demand sex, it’s an act of goodwill. When attempting to set up closeness with somebody as becoming acquainted with them, a greeting is  increasingly helpful for good, thriving sex than a solicitation.

Commonly, our open conversations center around just one restricted sort of correspondence: demands for sex followed by assent or refusal. Yet, notice that we use language and correspondence in a wide assortment of courses in arranging sex. We tease and rebuke, express interest and aversion, and lucid dreams. In a perfect world, we talk about what sort of sex we need to have, including which exercises, and what we like and don’t care for. We settle whether we will engage in sexual relations by any stretch of the imagination, and when we need to stop. We check in with each other and speak profanely to each other during sex.

In any case, I have contended that sexual independence likewise requires the capacity to participate in clear, sober mind perplexing, sexual correspondence including employments of language that work out in a good way past consenting to and declining demands for sex.

Understanding the social institutions, feminism and transgender studies have given me a new perspective on the policies of sexual harassment as a social artifact firstly from the concepts; it’s clear that the policies protect girls more than men. Feminism has empowered both men and women in supporting the girl child living the boy child with no protectors in society. Although some feminist sincerely advocates equality between men and women, some people are misusing feminist ideas to oppress men in society. Policies on sexual harassment should be aimed at eradicating any sexual harm that may come in the way of either girls or boys in the community. Notably, understanding policies in sexual harassment has helped in understanding how people in various institutions operate. It helps me know how sexual cases should be handled in social institutions such as places of work and religious places. There are many cases of sexual harassment in many institutions, and solving then should begin by understanding the root cause of the problems. The primary motives of sexual harassment, such as rape, are caused by masculinity and male dominance over women. Also, the weak laws on sexual harassment cases motivate rapists to continue with their behavior. These artifacts should strive to ensure that people in all social institutions are protected.

Indeed, studies on transgender people have had an impact on how I view various policies and regulations on sexual harassment. Transgender people are a group of people who continuously face harassment by people in society for their sexuality. Transgender studies have helped me understand that these people are regular people who deserve respect and being looked past their sexuality. Laws on sexual harassment should be stringent in ensuring that transgender people are protected from sexual abuse in the community. In gender and women studies, policies on sexual harassment are highly regarded as artifacts in social institutions. Both men and women should not live in fear because of their gender. Although cases of sexual harassment involving adults are difficult to solve, social scientists should develop methods of obtaining proof in cases involving sexual harassment.