Category: Discussion 5

Watching this video was an eye-opener, growing up you don’t normally see what privileges you have until you see hear, see, and speak to someone else. Even some of us now, don’t acknowledge the privileges we have compared to others; I loved how they defined what privilege really is by visually and physically showing us. When it comes to privilege, I never really thought I was and, at the same time, I knew how privileged I actually have been and still are. While watching the video and hearing the questions, of course, there were a lot of questions that did not apply to me; I didn’t realize that my mom having the benefits she currently has right now, was a privilege or that school is considered a privilege (I hated school and still strongly dislike it). To really see this exercise and think about privilege again really opened my eyes, not to mention has also made me more grateful, and humble about the things that I can access and have.

Common experiences of microinvalidation that I have experienced is the sentence, “You don’t act black, you act like you are white”. When I hear this in my opinion it is a good example of microinvalidation due to the fact that some people think just because my skin is of ebony color that I can not speak in a proper manner or better than them. Maybe this can relate to stereotypes, misconceptions, and ignorance.

This video about privilege is very touching. I loved the physical representation that visually shows us what privilege is. Immediately when I thought about how privilege affected me, I thought well I am a black woman who comes from a poor family… not very privileged. When I watched the video and heard all the questions that were being asked, yes, I had to take a few steps back but there were plenty of questions that did not apply to me a well. I never realized that my mother having health insurance for her family because of her job (police officer) was a privilege. I never realized my mother buying me books, or taking me on vacations was a privilege. Even though I had to take out a student loan, I never realized that college was a privilege. This exercise definitely opened my eyes to being grateful for what we take for granted, and to be mindful that others don’t have these privileges. One example of microinvalidation that ive experienced is people telling me its no way I am fully black because of my hair texture, or always telling me I have “good hair”. This is a perfect example of a microinvalidation because is reflects on their self esteem which shows they are not happy or content with their own hair texture.

If you think about it, no matter who you are or where you come from, we all have privileges even within our own culture. Privileges is a specific right, advantage, or immunity given or available only to a particular person or group. Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying that it is not an issue; some people have more privilege than others.  Privileges have caused unfair moments in history that has even impacted the lives of many in a very negative way. To get more into detail, let me explain with this example. For example, I could be considered privilege if I, as a Dominican man, attend a Dominican restaurant, and the service I get is better than a white male that attend. That’s not always the case, but it can happen. I personally had experience that situation where I was treated better than other. That is something I can consider as my privilege. Another example is a white male who could be considered a privilege if he attends Harvard University vs. a Hispanic male. This example demonstrates how two people from different groups could have privileges on different occasions. Furthermore, to tap into it, the more in-depth compound privilege could have a tremendous impact on social groups. For example, the minorities groups especially, the black community has been oppressed for many years causing a gap of inequality; That is why on our demographic and data  we see how there is a lot of black people who are uneducated, and not able to sustain a “good life”.

I also experienced microggregation because I am a man and sometimes, I help out my mother with the house shores. My cousins always made fun of that, they said “that’s for girls man. Or aren’t you supposed to be the man of the house?” I always tried to help out around the house because I know that gender does not limit people to help out and still be useful. Stereotypes always play big roles in this situation’s, it is our job to break those ignorant thoughts.

 

 

 

 

I’m not sure why but it took me a while to think about my own privilege. As an immigrant, my privilege is the access I have to a “better” educational system as well as job security. Very often the civilians in my country would leave to make a better living. I have mostly experienced microaggression at work. I remember when my coworker told me that I was not Black. She was convinced that because I was Jamaican, I could not be Black or both. (She was an in her late 60’s and Asian) She was really the sweetest and kindest woman I’ve ever met. I also knew that there wasn’t any negative prejudicial intent behind it just ignorance (she wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me), so I didn’t take it personally. I was aware that she has preconceived biases/judgments on what Black looked or act like and I was also aware that she did not put in that category based on how she perceived me.

Another situation was when a classmate/”friend” of mine told me to claim that I was white because of how I spoke. I quickly realized that I needed new friends, and also being Black and articulate or educated was somewhat of a taboo to other people with different communities. Many people have already settled on what a Black person is supposed to act, speak, and look like. I understood that other racial groups have bought into the way the media have painted us and to the majority, Black folks like me were an anomaly. I can use my access to education and job security to give back to my communities all over the diasporic world. I truly believe in the value of education, and not trust the educational system but knowledge and awareness.

I sincerely do not know if I am capable to reduce or prevent microaggression. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can lead a horse to the water but you cannot force them to drink it”-unknown. I don’t believe it is up to me, it’s up to the one to self-evaluate themselves to first ask why do they do it, where does it stem from and how can I do better. I believe in order to do better a person must first want to better and become knowledgeable, aware, cautious, and considerate.

Kulah Love Massaquoi

Discussion #5

The word privilege is described in so many ways. According to the oxford dictionary privilege is a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group. While watching the video the word privilege is described to have advantages and disadvantages that identify each and every one. The video stated that some people have a privilege to be  born with wealth, while others struggle to be better people in society. I know from the video that some people may not have full control over privilege. I believe people should always find a way to make it impossible to be possible. 

  I understand that privilege has had an impact on my life and I remember as a young child going through a lot of setbacks. For example, when I first entered this country people took advantage of me. I didn’t have the same upbringing and cultural understanding as my American counterparts. I have an accent that sounded different which at times made communicating a little difficult. There was a vast difference between me and the Americans I went to high school. I had to assimilate to the way things were done here. I didn’t get the slang so I was made to feel different. Aside from being born in Africa I had to deal with racist behavior from uninformed white people. I had to deal with a new system of certain opportunities that I was passed over. I am now starting to understand the line of disparity between rich, middle class, and poor. Opportunities I have worked hard for were belittled do to people speaking of “affirmative action”. This was when I understood that certain social privileges I  thought I had I didn’t. What I now understand is I have to work 2x as hard to be given privileges that some people are not afforded and yet still it’s not a privilege. What I have gained on “privileges” is that the only privilege I have is moving to America to better my life. I believe I have to travel, educate, finance, and increase my experience as a Liberian American woman in order to understand what privileges I have to use and better my country. I always try my best to be independent and a better person. I put full effort into everything I do. I know that I don’t have privileges but I will take opportunities otherwise not given to me. 

Learning about microaggressions helped me understand that it is in the daily actions of those who have privilege. It’s crazy how privilege and microaggressions coincide.  Microaggressions are small behaviors or actions that people use to keep others down. It’s a learned behavior that sometimes is unintentional but is instilled in the subconscious. Microaggressions are based on stereotypes and ideas that have been placed on people and of mostly negative outlooks.” Microaggressions have been defined as brief and common daily verbal, behavioral, and environmental communications, whether intentional or unintentional, that transmit hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to a target person because they belong to a stigmatized group.” I’ve personally seen a white woman hold her purse close whenever I or another black person enters the elevator. I believe microaggressions promote the negative stereotypes, discriminatory, and sexist, trans-phobic in outward behavior towards those who don’t fit the social norms. It is ingrained and has been instilled in the very fabric of our culture. I believe that our society has to break that stigma and idea of subtle or subconscious patterns that separate us from each other. Difference shouldn’t be feared but respected.

Microaggressions are verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignity remarks that communicate derogatory messages of marginalized groups in our society (Sue, Capodilupo). I have experienced microaggressions because I am a woman. Though I am shy at first, I would describe myself as being sweet and bubbly, always smiling and having a lot of energy. I think this in part has caused some adults to look at me as if I were a child, and adding that I am a woman makes me more of, “oh how cute”, because of this I am not taken seriously. I developed my personality because of my experiences. I have learned to cope with my challenges by filling up my day with even more energy and smiles. I’d like to think my personality is not over the top though, I’m just the right amount because I am very cool and relaxed, but for many this is enough to downplay me. Growing up in a culture that highlighted my lack of ability to blend in, led me to constantly doubt myself and what I was capable of. This thought combined with the microaggressions I have received because of my gender have made me at one point internalize the opinions of others. It was not until my accounting teacher in 12th grade asked me to go to their office to tell me I needed to stand up for myself, and not let “these kids” doubt my knowledge. I cannot clearly describe the feelings I felt, I cannot pinpoint to the situation she saw me in, I can’t even remember how I felt, because I had normalized this behavior towards me. I walked home the day confused, she had seen something that I did not at the moment but somehow, I felt empowered. What is the correct way to stand up to a microaggression? How can I be sure it is a microaggression?

I would say I have many privileges. Although there is a lot of discrimination and prejudice in New York City, I have had the opportunity to finish high school and go to college. Additionally, BMCC has tried its best to provide their students with what they need to be successful. Thankfully, if I ever find myself in need there is a food pantry and even counseling center. This not only gives me privilege of many people around the world, but people in NYC too. Many who did not finish high school or are currently enrolled in college are having very difficult challenges. I am in a country where food is abundant to me, and where I have a roof over my head with heat. On top of this I have a desk where I can quietly sit with my 11-year-old sister and do my work. In my point of view the most powerful tool I have is education and comfort. I can use my knowledge and education to educate others about our current situation. I have tried my best to explain our current situation to adults around me who do not know the history of America’s current challenges. Having comfort in my own home helps me develop my skills to keep working towards social justice. I am in the process of starting my own business and this will help me build future schools for children to understand what I think is most important, understanding their self-identity.

I was born a girl child in a middle-class family. So lost the privileged what boys actually get in my family, extra care, love, and freedom. But I had the privilege of being born in the Brahmin Family (Brahmins are taken the highest ranking in the social classes in Nepal) though I was a girl child, people used to give more attention and respect. Being good in Math and being helpful to my colleague I had the privilege of making more friends. I grew up with my brother, so I didn’t have the privilege like my other sisters to be around my parents and get everything done . So basically, I started doing my chores when I was in grade four. I went to the Boarding school (English Medium school), so I had the privilege to learn English and understand which most of the student in my country does not who goes to the government school where English subject is not their priority. Being an immigrant(student ) I definitely do not have the privilege of what every American has, right to vote, financial aid in the school, or eligible for any kind of government facilities (especially can be felt during this pandemic) but regardless of that, I got chance to be here in the state as I come from developing countries, the privilege of going schools in the states, living an independent life, and able to represent myself in this super-competitive world which majority of people in my country are looking for.

Microaggressions are defined as common daily verbal, behavioral, and environmental communications, whether intentional or unintentional, that transmit hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to a target person because they belong to a stigmatized group (“Microaggression.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 25 Apr. 2020, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microaggression). Born as human beings, we know that microaggression has played a major role in our society. In my point of view, knowingly or unknowingly who are kind of racist or sexist or judgmental. And I am not talking here about highly privileged people of one who have less privilege but every single individual. The best example I can give here is myself. I work in the law firms as a legal assistance/consultant, I have been working for the last 3 years, and my best friend she recently joined and works under me and there is a group of 5 people who reports to me. So, I kind of get bossy (Either while taking in the meeting or assigning the task), and my best friends outside the office have spoken to me about this behavior that I kind of don’t make people feel good. As I have to get the work done, knowingly I have to be tough among my collogues. This could be just a very minor example.

But microaggression has affected the majority of people when it comes to the social practices in our society, differences in the culture, race, religion, or caste. We can even see the large group of people who actually become the victim, just because they are not whites, or they are not from a higher group, or not very smart, or have a poor family background(financially). So, I believe its almost impossible to get rid of microaggression in the human world. It was in the past, is in the present, and will continue in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

Privileges are special, advantages or entitlement, that can use unearned since birth and inherited or earned when reaching certain financial stability or social class. This privilege can be used to one’s benefit or the detriment of others. Checking on my privileges has opened my eyes to other social inequality and its consequences on the population.

 Privileges can change from one person to another, I feel that one’s environment, family and social culture can influence this perspective a lot.

I was talking to my husband about privileges and I found out that it can be a sensitive subject to quite a few people. What I can consider privilege can be a necessity for others. for example I consider making a decent income and being financially stable a privilege because of my job and my budgeting skills, but my other wealthy friend considers her wealth a necessity because she was brought up to live a certain way and without having to work for it.

Stating these privileges is about acknowledging and confronting societal and institutional discrimination, comparing all levels of social and financial classes, gender, and their consequences on each individual. Some of the privileges I have are :

White privilege, and work for a company that I rarely see any African American work for, even if I come from Morocco that’s considered a developing country I still have a chance to fit in and have a decent job because I’m considered as a person of intelligence and authority,

A privilege to go to school without getting a loan because my work reimburses me for school expenses as long as I get an A or B grade.

Even if education is a right to everyone, I consider it a privilege in my case. I can work and go to school at the same time. Back home it will be very hard to juggle work and school.either you have a full-time job or you go to school full time.

A privilege to have all my family in the United States while other immigrants are here by themselves.

A privilege to go food shopping and buy what I crave without fear of running low on money because I can budget myself properly.

A privilege to on vacation and enjoy my time with my family.

 A privilege that I can speak and write fluently Arabic, French, English, and some Spanish. I have more chances to be invited and included in the executive’s meeting where my voice and my concerns as an employee are heard.

Micro-aggressions are present in our daily life no matter what we do to avoid them, they can be intentional or unintentional toward a certain gender, social class, minority, religion. I have experienced microaggressions as a woman, as an Arabic woman, and as a mother of two.

As an Arabic woman, where media advertise that Arabic women should wear, talk and act in certain ways, the opposite of who I’m as an independent woman who speaks her mind and try to help and support her coworkers in time of need in front of the boss.

As a mother of two, most people judge me and state that I should not be working full time, going to school, and taking care of my family because my children are missing out on their mother and that I’m neglecting them. I often get the question? why, are you doing all of this, don’t you have a husband to take of everything for you? I feel like I start going to PTA meeting at my kid’s school where most of the mother’s only job is to take co their kids to raise their awareness of their esteem and their intellectual level and financial independence that will give a positive impact on their boys and girls’ life.’

It’s ironic to see that most of the privileged group in the society earn more and more privileges and have the dominant side of the power system, because they hold the higher position either in politics or financial institutions, while the unprivileged one stays behind because of lack of self-esteem,education and or social support.

I tried to show my coworker the right way to budget themselves because I feel that a woman’s confidence will rise if she is financially independent and educated. reflect on what you can do differently to use your privilege in service of others, and reduce microaggressions. I also believe the simple act of caring and active listening is a powerful way to serve others while they are venting the releasing their stress and problem to find a way to resolve them and start fresh.