Category: Discussion 3

This chart exercise really made me think about myself and how I feel about myself. In the first column I wrote my hair, my smile and my calves. My hair isn’t my favorite part of my body. I have coarse, think 4c type hair. My hair has always been a big thing for me and my family. My mom would take care of my hair and treat it so it would grow nice. I hated my hair when I was younger because I’m tender headed and my hair was always hard to comb  out. My mother made me realize that my hair is a part of who I am. She went on about how black peoples hair is always looked down upon but it’s actually beautiful. From the shrinkage to the unique curl patterns. So before my hair would make me upset but i’ve learned more about it and learned about what works best and i’ve learned to love it. I did cut my hair off but i still love it now. I look forward to doing different hairstyles and things because sometimes it helps build my confidence. My smile is my favorite feature on my body. I love how wide and bright it is. I love the effect it has on people. I’ve gotten complaints that my smile has made people’s day and the feeling that gives me is great. My least favorite thing on my body is my calves. I think I have huge, manly calves. I used to get teased about it when I was younger. I hated it. I still don’t like them but i think now that i’m older i’ve learned to just deal with it because i can’t change it. Looking at my calves or just having them exposed sometimes makes me really insecure. I feel like when people see me that’s all they see but I’ve learned to realize I may be exaggerating. While doing this chart after the readings i think that one of the theories that relate is the  psychological theory. “Psychological theories emphasize the internal psychological processes triggered by early childhood experiences with one’s body and interpersonal interactions with primary caregivers and close contact.” I think because I was teased and had so many bad experiences with my hair or calves, I think I’ve learned to dislike them. But because i’ve gotten so much good feedback on my smile that might play a part on my i love it so much. 

People use embodied communication to differentiate and oppress. When people communicate face to face they don’t just exchange verbal information but rather communication encompasses the whole body. People tell me all the time that I’m too girly. When I’m standing and unconsciously have my hands on my hips or when I do my makeup. Ways of refusing the command performance include using norms against each other. “…women have used the role of mother as their foundation for public advocacy. They manipulate the expectations of being caretakers to seek social justice.” I would explain my embodied communication using the psychological and cultural theories. 

As I read this articles I try to reflect back on my own upbringing to see how it fits and I honestly find it hard at times. I didn’t grow up in a “conventional” home though it was a two parent home. My parents separated and I grew up with my dad who eventually remarried my now stepmother with whom he has a child with. My family isn’t religious though they do believe in God. We just don’t find it necessary to visit churches/places of worship to show our faith. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my dad treated my brother, three sisters and I equally and taught us equally. He was the superintendent of the building we lived in and he would teach us all how to do different things in the building such as giving the boiler water in order for the building to have heat or taking any one of us with him on a job to help him out whether it be to hand him tools or to hold a light over him so he could see. He taught us all to change tires and brakes on the car. He liked for us to all “know stuff.” When it came to growing up we were pretty much left to be ourselves. My brother being the only boy inevitably played with dolls and kitchen sets and other toys aimed at girls. No one ever made a big deal out of it. To us it was just toys and toys aid in pretend play. Another thing I remember growing up. was my father/family was big on natural beauty and was always making us feel good about ourselves and that included my brother. From a young age, we were taught to love ourselves regardless of our “insecurities” or what we perceived to be “imperfections.” Though the words used may have differed, such as handsome for my brother or beautiful for my sisters and I, the sentiment remains the same. We were told we didn’t need makeup. My family would always say “makeup may make you look pretty now but down the road you won’t ever be able to go out the house without it because your face will have eventually have holes and stuff from all the years of wearing makeup.” That about made the decision for me. I like how my face is. I did not want to do anything that would damage it.  And now I just do not have the patience to learn to apply makeup and I like the freedom of being able to “get up and go.” Which brings me to style of dress. My parents let us all dress how we wanted with one rule, no short skirts, though this rule didn’t apply to my brother. Other than that we were free to dress in whatever clothing we choose.  I believe my style of dress largely remains the same.  So as I made this chart, it found it a bit hard to decide what “theory” category I would fit it into as I chose hair, makeup, shaved legs and weight and my feelings on each of them.

Hair: I’ve always loved having long hair since I was a young girl. I think long hair is beautiful and enhances ones beauty. At one point I wanted to be a hairstylist and can remember doing my sisters’ hair when I was younger and ultimately deciding that standing on my feet for hours on end doing hair was not for me.

Makeup: I don’t wear makeup though on rare occasion I do put on mascara. My household focused on our natural selves rather than covering up. Sometimes ones whole appearance can change with makeup.

shaved legs: I was taught when I was younger that we shave our legs so they appear nicer when they are clean shaven.

Weight: Although I did grow up in such a positive household, I did/do struggle with weight. I would see on the tv, or my friends in school who were much thinner than me and secretly wish I was that thin. “if only I didn’t have this stomach.” is something I muttered quite often.

For most of my physical appearances, I feel psychological theories such as  social learning and psychoanalytical theories influence my feelings the most. This is because throughout life you see what is viewed as “pretty.” Without even realizing, you may try to uphold these standards. Growing up, my family would also tease me if my hair got frizzy in the rain, or if I was sweaty from playing and my hair got puffy. I feel these become repressed feelings that later on in life make you unconsciously judge yourself. I mentioned the cognitive and biological determinism theories when referring to my feelings towards my vision. I feel this best relates to my feelings because this has nothing to do with how I feel about my physical appearance, or what I have learned about “beauty.” This is something that hinders my ability to effectively accomplish things, and even at times makes me feel sick.

I believe my embodied communication complies with my command performance by body politics. I refuse to act a certain way because of social norms. I do not act upon cultural theories. However, I would say my embodied communication can stem from psychological theories.

Majority of my embodied communication does not comply with the command purpose because all of my reasoning are superficial. One example of me refusing a command purpose is when I work out without gloves and calluses begin to form on my hands. I do not like the look and I think it is not lady like. This is an example of cultural elements and biological theories that shaped my way of thinking. Mainly cultural elements because it is based on preference.

I choose my eyes, my mouth and brain for my project because those are my richest possessions and I won’t trade them for anything in the world. I select my eyes, because I want to travel around the world and see the world with my own eyes, meet new people and learn from them I believe if you don’t travel, I won’t be able to cure your blindness like  John Milton said “To be blind is not miserable; not to be able to bear blindness, that is miserable.”

Second one is my mouth, I want to be a voice for people and educate others who are struggling with personality disorders, oppression, racism, discrimination and prejudice.

The third one is my brain I want to learn new things about myself nature and life, I am really tired to learn things from tell-lie-vision.

My eyes and my brain are related like Unknow said “the eyes are useless when the mind is blind”. I want to clean my eyes first; I want to take off the dirty pair of glasses that society gives me and wear my own in other to use my brain correctly and me learn who I am.

My embodied communication complies with the command performance by all the stereotype that society has assign me to do. Because I was in a catholic girl only school where all the nuns/leaders were women, and it was really annoying for me and until this day. I had to wear long large skirt with a big t-shirt or a long dress to hide my body otherwise people and men specially is going to see me as a whore, until this day I can’t be comfortable in a tight dress or pants because I feel like that I am being judge by man. My school taught me was don’t finish my plate otherwise I am greedy, I still cannot finish my plate in a date with my boyfriend. Or use men’s bathroom even if you have an emergency, because they said it sticks like dumpsters.

The standard of beauty of a woman around the world and the fashion industry the is white skin, blonde hair, light-colored eyes and a slim, hourglass body otherwise you are not woman enough. I saw a lot gay, trans, cis male and female in the black community bleaching their skins, wear blue, green or other colors of colored contacts to meet those standards. I see them doing a lot of unhealthy diet that lead to eating disorders and drink dangerous flat tummy tea to lose weight to please society’s view. But I always tried to follow my body and his needs, I don’t try to lose weight like I use to do in the past anymore, don’t perm my hair to have straight hair with those toxics chemicals or press my hair anymore. I used to buy expensive clothes and accessories every month to show people that I am bad and bougie to make other girls jealous but I don’t do that anymore.

I expressed my embodied communication by being and be comfortable with myself. By traveling learn about other culture and people, instead of staying in the cough of front of the television that is lying to me and washing my brain about what’s right and what’s wrong. I don’t go to churches anymore, I just pray Yahweh and communicate with him anywhere and everywhere, but before I used to go to church every Sunday to listen to a priest. I embraced my thickness I don’t try to be skinny like miss universe anymore, my afro hair and my dark skin color.

It all depends on how that person says what he thinks, what bothers you most and makes you doubt yourself is when a person says an opinion that was never asked for but not that, it is that they say what they say in a mocking way. I have tried to ignore certain comments, but to be honest, some of them will be going around in your head, putting you in a position where you just might end up doing what that person wants looking for their approval. I would say that as a woman, I have to stop looking at myself with someone else’s perspective in order to feel secure and comfortable with our body.