Category: Discussion 3

 

Appearance	Feelings	Feelings Stem From:	Theories
Hair	Love-Hate Relationship. I have type 4c hair is really kinky and doesn’t visible have a curl pattern unless water and creme are added to it. Personally, it is hard for me to maintain and style.	I’ve been told that my hair isn’t good hair by some,  that it is/looks nappy and even that I can’t do much to or with it. My personal preference is wearing my hair in braids because I don’t like wearing my hair out most of the time.	Social Learning Theory Psychoanalytical Theory
Eyes	I have poor eyesight. I have to wear glasses 24/7 and contacts as my back up choice.	Personally, it is very inconvenient having to wear glasses all the time throughout the day in order to be able to see properly. Without them my eyes get strained from looking at screens for long periods of time.	Cognitive Development Theory Biological Determinism Theory
Smile	I like to smile  Even though I like smiling my teeth never look white to me so I try not to smile for too long.	I have been told that I have a contagious and nice smile and I agree. However, I have this complex about the color of my teeth and I think it is because I know that whenever I smile my teeth are what the person is looking at.	Social Learning Theory Psychoanalytical Theory

While doing this, I can definitely say that most of my physical appearance deal with psychological theories like, social learning and psychoanalytic theories which influence my feelings. This is due to society and its beauty standards/norms and what is viewed as “pretty” or “beautiful”. We try to uphold these beauty standards without realizing it, in my family we all have different types of hair, for example, my mom has 3b hair, I have 4c type hair and the list goes on and on. When my hair would be in its natural afro puff it is actually relieving because I don’t get teased about it in my family especially by my mom; she embraces hers and so does my aunt. Even though this happens societies views can really repress these good feelings because as mentioned before my hair is not “good” hair solely because it doesn’t fit the national and normal standard of beauty; these “standards” later on in life make you unconsciously gauge yourself. Additionally, I mentioned biological determinism and cognitive development theories when I was talking about my eyes, I think this is the best way to relate to my feelings because it doesn’t deal with how I feel about my appearance or what I’ve learned about “beauty” standards.

Shoulders- I remember when I realized that my shoulder were broad. The feeling of embarrassment would drown me every time I would put on a shirt that emphasized their strength. I was also a tall girl with long limbs and all the other girls around me were narrow and petite. I remember comparing myself to my sister and friend’s physiques because to me they embodied what it was to be feminine. This might sound silly but when I was younger, I wished my parents would have put me a small space to prevent the growth of my abnormally sized pallet. I was aware that my size was intimidating to the boys and that they usually went for girls that were shorter and smaller than they were. I would make jokes about my height and the width of my table-sized shoulders. It was a form of protection, this was to prevent anyone from hurting me first. Over time, I accepted them for the wings that they were. Now, every time I think about my shoulders, I think of great women before like Maya Angelou and my Great grandmother. Although I’ve never met them before, the stories and legacy they’ve left behind make me feel grand. I think of strength, wisdom, and courage. I have also learned that choosing the right clothing/size makes a big difference in how I see myself.

Hair- Black textured hair is political and controversial outside and in our communities. We have been taught that there’s is an obvious distinction between good and bad hair and that Black texture is bad. This why I wrote free, proud, and beautiful. There has been such a turnaround within the Black community where textured has shifted away from shame, it is a symbol of freedom and pride. I believe it was last year (2019) when state laws were passed to stop natural hair discrimination. Now, imagine that. Besides the hair on my head, the people in my family are hairy. We hair hairy leg and arms and that is something was always proud of. It showed me that I belonged here and I found it beautiful and normal.

Stomach- Ok, so… When I was in the 6th grade I had abs, I mean 6 packs. I don’t know why but they were there. As I’ve gotten older, my tummy has grown into a pouch/muffin top with chichos. My clothes no longer fit me with the way they use to and I was becoming sluggish. I poured a lot of my energy into school, work, relationships, etc. I felt as if I neglected myself, and my belly was there to remind me every time I sat down. There were many times I would force “it’s self-love” upon myself as a way to accept my new flabby adult body or use it as an excuse to not work out.  It quickly turned into a never-ending cycle of working out 3-4 times a week, then giving up, making my favorite fudge brownies, and wishing I could remain consistent. You see, I was trying to get back to the old version of myself, and no, not 6th grader me but the me around 18-22. I slim, trim, active, and youthful. So, when I realized that it had more to do with my holding onto the past/youthfulness and less with my outward appearance.

My embodied communication complies with the command performance shifts on case to case basis. I have always been the outlier, I remember when my mom would tell me to stop acting a certain way because it was boy-like. I also remember how confused I was and continued with my “behavior” because I didn’t make any sense and then again, “so what?”.  Another case was when I was in the 3rd grade and my teacher asked us what was career goals and I intentionally stated that I wanted to become a Mechanic. Besides my dad being a Mechanic, I wanted to show that women can do it too. I would also play football to show that it was just about an individual’s ability and will to do it. There has also been an occasion where I had to show the “running like a girl” is synonymous with running very fast.  My experience in a Caribbean household, the woman is oftentimes shrinking themselves even when they are the head of the households. I’ve made a decision not to continue with that tradition, however, I have found myself seeking permission in whether I can move as freely as I’d like.

I would explain my embodied communication as a critical/cultural and or Pchsological theory. I say this because there are patterns (toxic traits/wholesome traits) that are repeated by the older generation that can be adapted by the new generation. There are a lot of traits and concepts I have to unlearn and take into account. One example is the value, role, and purpose of a woman/wife/mother. So often women are defined as what we are to others not what we are to ourselves. 

Appearance	Feelings	Feelings Stem From:	Theories
Hair	My hair is Straight/curly   It changes color. In Winter it gets darker and, in the Summer, it lightens up more.	People says that I have good hair.   People have told me that longer hair looks better on me.   But, I love my short hair,	Biological determinism theory Psychoanalytical theory
Face	Love my face   I can change it appearance by growing my beard or shaving it   It shows emotions	People have told me that I have an oval face.   Some people have told me I have a weird chin   I don’t like my chin   I don’t like my eyebrows	Biological determinism theory   Psychoanalytical theory
Legs	Takes me everywhere   I don’t have to shave it	People always said that men don’t have to shave   My parents says that only women shave their legs	Biological determinism theory.   Psychoanalytical theory

I choose my hair, face, legs. Those are a few of the body parts that people tend to have a lot of stereotypes relate to being masculine or feminine, depending on their appearance. I choose my hair because everybody should love their natural hair, and we should embrace the differences between each hairstyle no matter what your sex is. Men should be allowed to have long hair or vice versa; women should be allowed short hair. My face because it represents me; it can show my emotions is my identity. I can decide whether I want to shave or not. Finally, my legs because they take me everywhere and I don’t have to shave it. Even though women have to shave according to society, I believe it should be a choice. I feel like the body part that I listed is what people always comment on relate to sexual standards.

Furthermore, all these bodies part that I have explained more relatable to: Biological determinism theory and Psychoanalytical theory. Sometimes we tend to view our identity through a biological or even phycological perspective. I was born with whatever biological features that sometimes creates the impression that it is unchangeable, and the Psychoanalytical aspect is based on the identity developed through your life experience.

From my embodied communication, the conduct was because of the longing to fit in with my sexual orientation character. I refuse to act in a certain way because of social norms. However, I would say my embodied communication can stem from psychological theories. For example, in society, we expect that men should be bold. Ladies then again should be uninvolved and compliant. That is why I believe that psychological theories, for the most part, have a hung impact on people, including myself, physical appearances, and the way we perceive ourselves.

Appearance	Feelings	Feelings/ beliefs		Theories
Nose	Love/hate my nose	I have been told that I have a chubby, wide nose		Biological theory Social leaning theory
Arms	They are to chubby and have small spots on them	Personally, I hate how my arms look when I am wearing a tank top and I tend to compare how I look to how others look and my confidence goes down.		Social leaning theory
Smile	I don’t have perfect straight teeth therefore I wear braces which does not make me feel comfortable smiling		I personally hate my smile because ever since I had braces people would say mean stuff such as having train tracks on my teeth which I no longer get bothered by, but I still don’t feel confident smiling.	Social learning theory Psychoanalytical Theory

I believe that my embodied communication comply with command performance because to some extend I care about peoples opinions and I try to please them in a way without doing what I truly feel like.  I have realized that I have to make changes to make myself happy rather than doing it for others, another thing is that due to social norms I don’t act upon certain things and even with social norms I want to look a certain way because that’s how most girls look like and I need to be / look like them, which is wrong because I need to be me not someone else.

Discussion #3 Chart

As men and women, we are conditioned to behave, act, talk and create in certain ways depending on the norms of our society and community. and if we don’t follow these commands we risk to be rejected.

Social learning theory and cultural theories are the first learning aspects that we endure as a child and we see is as a normal behavior toward certain aspects of life since our parents act the same way as well. Girls are supposed to be shy, quiet, play with dolls, learning how to nurture and take care of babies, as well as playing with cooking tools. While boys are meant to be loud, running around the house, and playing with toy guns and construction tools to build their personality and make them stronger as ahead of the household in the future.

I can admit that my body parts reflect the exact image and reflection of the social characteristics of these fundamentals, and it’s really hard to overcome them. I followed these command performances since birth and I never felt that it was abnormal until I become a teenager but afraid of being rejected I grew an inner voice of rage and disappointment toward my society and decide to pursue my education to have a positive impact on my family and my community.

Also, Body Politics and Gender Performativity have affected my persona as a woman since my destiny was to menstruate, get married, give birth, and nurse my children. Suppressing my dreams and my intentions to have or change the women and danger perspective within my community. Women are and will still be obsessed with their beautiful bodies and images and will do whatever it takes to look more and more attractive.

It has been very difficult to refuse a command performance, as a middle-class woman with kids and a full-time job, I can admit that refusing a command performance is one of my worries since I still need to provide for myself and my family, but I still can refuse it in an indirect political way without harming myself by expressing my opinion on certain issues at work as a woman when the boss is a man and is expected to be correct all the time.

 

Nose/I feel insecure This is the very first body part of me which I kind of feel uncomfortable speaking with direct eye contact when I am not wearing glass. I feel like it’s very big compared to my face. This is sad that I do not have any positive message that has would contribute to feeling insecure about my nose in particular. My all siblings are beautiful, a perfect face I would say so I always used to look myself in the mirror and have felt insecure about it, though I know physical appearance doesn’t matter a lot sometimes we just can’t control on what we feel about it.
Hair/I embrace I love my hairs; they usually grow very fast and I have been changing a lot of hairstyles since the last couple of hairs. Also, I have heard a lot of compliments and its human nature you feel good when you hear a compliment. I had long and thick hairs since my childhood and not me, but my mother has taken care of a lot of my hair. In my culture where I grew up, a girl’s hair is taken as her dominant part of her life. I have seen and felt that when girls chop their hair too short then not directly but Indirectly, I have heard a lot of people making comments on it which would not make you feel good. So, one reason I don’t want people taking negative and another reason I love being myself in long hair, therefore I have not had very short hair.
Fingers/Makes me laugh every time I see them If someone sees my fingers by paying attention to It, then I feel like they are going to make fun of it. My fingers are weird shape, but I feel myself extra having weird shape fingers  When I reach the age, where people define, what is beauty, being perfect, or what defines not perfection, I started to analyze different parts of the body. Being born with 5 girls’ siblings, I didn’t have to go anywhere to explore how I feel about my body part. We used to sit together and compare our body parts. And after my nose, it comes finger. I never felt insure about it but like said I used to join my sisters to make fun of my fingers. They are wavy like sea waves.

Theories I believed:

All these bodies part that I have explained in the last three columns are more relatable to:
Biological theories and Cultural theories.
My two-body part “Nose” and “fingers” I was born with whatever shape these are, there is nothing I can change about these body parts besides the feeling that I can develop if people make bad comments about it or good.
The culture of girls having long hair in society has influences a very large group of female groups. And I grew up learning this culture of being a girl you need to have long hair from my mother, grandmom, my elders’ sisters and a lot of female elders.
In what ways does your embodied communication comply with the command performance?
Are there any ways you have refused a command performance? How would you explain your embodied communication using theories from the texts?
– Like I have mentioned in my chart, I won’t able to make a face to face contact when I don’t have glass on my face. I kind of try not to make any direct contact. Similarly, trying to move my fingers/hands in an unnoticeable way to the people while communicating. I believe I have refused command performance in a way that sometimes when we communicate, we forgot what we feel about our body parts and totally get lost with the topic. It’s difficult to choose particularly one as I believe all these theories are somehow related to each other directly or indirectly. Growing long hair for being a girl (social/cultural), feeling uncomfortable with what you were born with(in this case my nose- Biological) and during the process of developing these feelings as we grow up by the influence of people around us, or by what beliefs based on our family and society, we assume to be one. (Psychological and also related cognitive).

BODY PARTS:	FEELINGS:	MESSAGES:	THEORIES:
Eyes	Happiness Weary Stress Optimistic Sadness	–       The happiness that lies within my eyes, is witnessing the smiles I get to put on each and every face of people I encounter every day. –       The weary/stress corresponds with each other. From studying to working, I get frustrated when a patient doesn’t understand work regulations or when I just don’t understand the text in a Statistic textbook. –       My optimism always gives me hope in pursuing my future with any limitations. The positive energy within my spirit will always guide me into a successful pathway. –       The sadness that lies within me is for the souls that are no longer with us. Not to physically watch me blossom into the woman I am today but always leading me to the correct route.	Psychological    Theory: Social Learning/ Cognitive development theory: –       I think the two categories I chose for psychological theories correspond with each other. We all grew up with different people and some are more likable than others and we question ourselves why? Well, when we encounter with one and other, we analyze them based on their appearance, mentality, and body language. We visualize these three aspects and then think to ourselves; how can I shape my well-being or future to be better of an individual than they are. We all have dreams to have a family and shape them into someone better in this world. but where do we get this judgment from? We analyze the world and try to obtain qualities that we or children will acquire someday. Sometimes when I’m talking to an individual who comes to me for advice and the other individual is being immature in the situation, sometimes you have to be the bigger person and take the high road and don’t take that detour they’re on.
Hair	Beauty Silly Exhaustion/Frustrating	–       My hair has always attracted attention. I have a mid-thigh length, so I can see why many are astonished by it. Your hair says a lot about you, it gives you the satisfaction for yourself that you look acceptable. I’m an Indo-Caribbean female, most of us have long black hair that represents our identity. –       Hair can be portrayed in millions of styles. When I’m in a goofy mood, I usually but my hair in two ponytails and move my head from left to right to feel them bounce off my ears. –       My hair can be extremely frustrating. I have naturally curly hair and it’s hard to control the frizz whenever I wash it. Even when I’m trying to do my hair for work, it takes me approximately 1 hour to straighten my hair.	Critical/Cultural Theory: –       The cultural theory part, when I choose to follow the tradition of having excessive long black hair. I could have chosen to not follow the heritage and do as I please. My parents have always been on the cultural traditional side to always follow rituals, social practices, and festival events.
Talk	Confident Amusing Motivational Quarrelsome	–       My family/friends mostly relate to this category because they have such a huge impact on me. They always told me I always have strong statements to make. When I do express my words, it’s a boldly as possible. –       I always enjoyed putting a smile on other faces. it warms my heart when I can fill someone with laughter. –       The motivational speeches towards myself and my family/friends are always my friends. I love inspiring individuals to discover themselves they never knew they had. –       I can be very argumentative when it comes to making a stand in something I believe in, proving someone wrong or proving my innocence. My strong use of vocabulary tends to transform when I get into this character.	Psychological Theory: Social Learning/ Cognitive development theory: –       We all grow up to be likable, wanted, loved, and accepted by each and every one. But in reality, there are some people who would just dislike your soul without even approaching you. So, with the people who do value us in life, we make the decision on how we want to display our words depending on the individual.

 

 

1. In what ways does your embodied communication comply with the command performance?

• Embodied communication would comply with command performance because our bodies are just that way, we are forced to be mannerly when meeting someone which is to greet them. The image of yourself that is embodied in the communication. For example, When I’m going for an interview, we have to be respectful, create a great first impression, shake their hands, and greet them. That’s both verbal and physical, our body is in command to do that. This would be more as a cognitive development theory, to analyze your audience before you make your gesture. Going back to the example provided, full-on eye contact, firm body posture, as well as a smile. Also, reasoning with my cognitive abilities if I’m presenting my image accurately.

 

2. Are there any ways you have refused a command performance?

• I think we refuse command performance in our everyday lives. A request is being made to us, we don’t abide by the command, and do as we please. For example, if we are told to complete chores by 4 pm by our parents. Although they gave us specific instructions, we chose to disobey. We eventually complete the task but on our own time, not when it is demanded. This would be more toward a social learning theory. We are told to complete a task to indicate if you were to receive an award to determine if the appropriate behavior was initiated.

 

Mouth – How I talk	Whenever I talk, I like people to listen to me. While many people may mistake this as a weakness, I consider it as my strength. I never fail to speak out whenever I feel I should. Even when I know what I will say might hurt someone, I never hold it back. I always say it confidently. I don’t believe that we should keep quiet on things that matter. Sometimes, people frown when I say something embarrassing. At times, this makes me want to hold back. However, when I remember that it may hurt me in the future, I release it. I use any words that I feel are the most appropriate at the moment. Never holding anything back is what I live for.	As I was growing, my parents always emphasized the need to speak up on things that matter. According to him, we should never allow someone to be downtrodden just because they are less privileged in the society. I believe it is he who inspired the personality of always speaking out my mind in me.	The two theories that in my view relate to my ways of being include; – 1.     Cultural theories, 2.     Social learning theory. At an early age, my parents emphasized the role that each one of us should play in society, depending on gender. For males like me, we had to be firm and confident. As the social learning theory postulates, it is these memories that determine the gendered conduct of a person in later stages of life. The cultural theory on the other hand portends that it is the society that determines the type of gender people ascribe to. In my case, I was forced to be confident and aggressive due to perceived societal expectations.
Legs – How I walk	When I walk, I feel like I own the world. My walking style exudes confidence. I always believe everyone has a role to play on this planet. Since I know my purpose in life, I choose to exemplify it in my walking style. Nonetheless, I do not stand in the way of others. I will always respectfully give way. I believe that a person’s walking style can inform about their character and personality. As a result, I make it my responsibility to portray all the characteristics that I would like to be known for. I hold my head high as if no problem exists in my life. That is how I was brought up.	Since we were young, our parents always insisted that only confident people succeed in life. According to them, confidence was evidenced by attributes such as the way a person speaks, how they dress, or how they present themselves. Walking also indicates an individual’s character. Therefore, it is my parents who inspired my walking style.
Hands – How I work	When I see my hands, I see hard work. I believe that if a person does not work, they should not be allowed to eat. It is this philosophy that guides my feelings towards what I do. I approach my work passionately and pursue it with unending zeal. I will never quit before I finish my work. I also make sure that I always deliver high-quality work. Sometimes, I may feel lazy. However, I always remind myself about my commitment to never tire and proceed to completion. Many people tend to think that I am a workaholic, which irritates me. I cannot comprehend why people cannot distinguish between being a workaholic and being hardworking. To me, they should never be equated. I believe in the mantra, “hard work pays.”	As a person born to parents who are both professionals, the message has always been about the lack of a short cut to success. In their many lectures to my siblings and I, they insisted that hard work was the only way out of poverty. I grew up with that notion in mind to this day.

 

1. In what ways does your embodied communication comply with the command performance?

GUANTE’s command performance is that society expects males to always man up no matter the circumstances. As detailed in my description and embodied communication in the chart above, I have been forced to comply to this command performance ever since I was young. Society has set various expectations for men. For instance, a man cannot stay without working. As the breadwinner, the man should be aggressive to find the opportunities even if they are rare. Besides, a man should not be timid. Instead, men should exude confidence wherever they go. I have already complied in the command performance through the way I speak, work, and walk. Therefore, my embodied communication fully complies with the ‘man up’ commend performance talked about by GUANTE (2016).

2. Are there any ways you have refused a command performance?

Rarely have I refused a command performance. Many times, I have been forced to comply. However, I can remember two incidences when I refused a command performance. The first incident was when a lady insulted me back in my first year. As usual, my friends expected me to either abuse her or hit her. They could not understand how she would keep insulting me without responding. Men are not expected to be inferior to women. However, since I knew that she was mistaking me for someone else, I chose to resist the urge to revenge. Instead, I chose to remain calm defying the expected command performance. In the other instance, I had been hurt by a close friend. As a man, I am not expected to cry or show feelings of being hurt. However, the hurt was so bad that I found myself crying. Of course, many people could not understand this since men are expected to man up. I chose to defy the expected command performance since this was the only way that I could feel better.

3. How would you explain your embodied communication using theories from the texts?

From my embodied communication, the conduct and behavior was as a result of the desire to conform to my gender identity. The role played by my parents reinforced this behavior. Arguably, children are expected to behave in a particular way or face punishment. With my parents as my mentors, I had people to observe and learn from. In particular, I learned that men ought to be brave. Women on the other hand ought to be passive and submissive as Button Poetry (2013) says. According to the social learning theory, children learn by observing what relatively older people or their guardians do. In particular, they understand societal norms, gender identity, and acceptable habits (Palczewski et al., 2019). For instance, as we grew up, young girls used to be encouraged to be neat and well behaved. Boys on their part were trained to be independent and to have control of their emotions. Where either portrayed these tendencies, they were rewarded. The communication also agrees with the cultural theories which suggest that culture determine the gender identity of a person.

I enjoyed doing this chart exercise . It helped me focus on the reasons why i had those thought about my physical appearance in the first place. in the fist column i chose my hair, nose and legs. I chose my hair because this part of my body has sent many different messages to others and even to myself.  I have natural hair but a lot of time i wear my hair in different styles such as braids or hair extensions . Braids are a hairstyle that is well known in the African american culture. It sends a message of black beauty, including natural hair . When i chose to wear my natural hair i sometimes wear it curly or in a Afro texture . I feel confident because i feel like i am embracing my African roots. However there has been times where i had a style in mind and when i attempted to style my hair it didn’t come out right. This left me feeling disappointed, insecure and unattractive. Why is it that i felt unattractive when my hair wasn’t ” done”. In Gender in communication A critical introduction by Defransisco, Victoria and Catherine Palzcewski With Danielle Dick McGeough, it discusses the three different types of theories. Which are biological, physiological and critical/cultural theories. Relating to my personal feelings , experiences and views on my hair , the physiological theory connects the most. Physiological theories are based on triggers by early child hood experiences.

The journey of my hair starts with social learning. Social learning is when behavior is learned by analyzing, observing and modeling others. Growing up in high school it was emphasized by males and females,  that if you didn’t have your hair done faithfully every week , it meant you were broke. It would also mean that the guys wouldn’t look at you as much as all the other girls who were up to par. I constantly compared myself to other girls, i would always try to keep up . I observed other girls in my school to see how many times they got there hair done a month. I thought if i can keep up with them , then ill be approved . I struggled with feeling beautiful because i believed that i wasn’t attractive due to what was being said socially. There were time when i had to wear my short natural hair. In society it has been displayed that longer straight silky hair is more beautiful that natural Afro or curly textured hair. I was convinced that i wasn’t that young woman that the world would desired because i didn’t have all of the exceptions the world vocalized. Today i no longer feel that way about myself i am aware that those statements are false.

The other two body parts i chose on my chart were my nose and skin. I chose my nose because this was a part of my physical body i was self conscious of . Again it relates to the physiological theories category.  through out middle school i was bullied a lot . One day boy at recces told me that i was ugly and i had a fat huge nose. From that day on i hated my nose and believed that everyone else’s was beautiful . My skin is an evident part of my race , i am a African american women. Critical/cultural theories highlights the cultural institutions that partakes in the alignment and management of gender. The multiracial and global feminism’s discussed the detailed investigation of the concerns of women and their gender . Women gender isn’t only the issue but race is as well, the view on the background of a women and the cultural stereotypical stigmas attached to women makes the vicissitudes of life even more difficult to handle. This chapter mentions the unfair historical events of African Americans, how women slaves were deemed as sexual beings. Relating to me being an African American woman, i remember a time when i walked  into a retail store that i would always go to. i walked in asking for Job application, the manager was a man including his employees and they were all Hispanic. I could tell the manager was uncomfortable of me being there, he told me that they weren’t hiring . That wasn’t true because i saw someone else come in a few days before and he accepted an application. I then came back to his store a few days later and realized that a new guy was there. Not only was this person a man but he was Hispanic. I purposely the guy was he new and he confirmed that he was. I then realized that my race and gender was a problem to this man .

Embodied communication is the opposite of non verbal communication , because it draws attention to the physical body as communication with others. Personally for me i believe i embodies communication with command performance by body politics. Me being viewed as highly feminine. I’ve been told many times that I “sit” like a lady. Or the way that i dress, i love makeup and dresses that makes a statement that i am a “girly girl” . A way that i believe i have refuse to comply with the command performance is not settling for mistreatment by the opposite due to the roles they believe i should perform because of my gender. The theories of culture and conflict relates to the way i communicate . i refuse to allow social construction rule the way i move or live my life .