Category: Discussion 1

Shamarra Ivey Discussion #1

Hello class! My name is Shamarra Ivey. My major is Communication Studies. I will be graduating from BMCC in Fall 2020. I hope to attend a four year college after this and earn my bachelor’s degree in Communications eventually moving on to a master’s degree. I was born in Jamaica and lived there for about half my life.

I really enjoyed watching these eight videos. I think a lot of them shows how society influences us ad shapes our perspective on a lot of topics from a young age. The video that resonated with me the most was “Young Soul”. As a Jamaican woman I was taught the harmful thing that is homophobia. Growing up in Jamaica gay men were especially despised. I would often hear that it’s because the Bible said it is a sin especially from people who weren’t religious. As a black woman I know what it is like to be marginalized. Thankfully as I got older I overcame the hateful ideologies that were enforced upon me and learned to love, accept, and embrace the LGBQT+ community.

My personal experience with gender is growing up in a Jamaican household I was always expected to learn how to cook because I’m a woman. I was told crazy things by some Caribbean people I encountered such as: I’m not going to be able to get a husband if I can’t cook, or that my husband would cheat on me for not being able to cook, or even going as far as to say I would get abused for not being able to cook. People expected me to fit into traditional gender roles as a woman such as doing the cooking and the cleaning. My mother and grandmother tried to instill a lot of these things in my. My sister and I were expected to do the inside work while my brothers were supposed to do the outside work. However, I protested this and luckily I was able to escape from these stereotypical gender roles. Putting up a fight against this allowed me to grow so much and experience new things outside of my gender. I never learned how to cook because of this but I’m still happy I stood my ground. The day I learn to cook it will be for myself and not for the purpose of finding  a husband. For the past few years my family members has not suggested any of these stereotypical roles to me which I’m grateful for and can only assumed they’ve also grown along with me.

Angeli Narine Discussion Post 1

Hello everyone my name is Angeli Narine. I am guyanese and I am 19 years old. I graduated from the Institute for Health Professions at Cambria Heights in June 2019 and started attending BMCC fall semester in August 2019. I am majoring in communications because my goal is to become a speech pathologist. This is my third semester here at BMCC where I hope to graduate in May 2021. When I was about 16 years old, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was always that type of person to stick to my first choice of things. So when it was time to apply for colleges I already knew what I wanted to do. Becoming a speech pathologist grew on me when I use to babysit my little cousin after school. When I’d pick her up from school there was this one girl who was always playing with my cousin, but she was having trouble putting her words together and speaking when she was with my cousin and I honestly felt hurt because she’d easily get frustrated when someone didn’t understand her. She’d have these sad yet angry eyes. She would walk around with a pen or marker and paper to write what she wanted to say. Her older sister and I bumped heads one afternoon and she was telling me that her sister gets help from a speech pathologist in another school a few times in the week. Months after, I had noticed she spoke way more clearly, she wasn’t as scared to say things and she took her time becoming with speaking at her own pace. This inspired me and wanted to find out if there were more kids like this who had speech impediments who needed help. It turned out to be a lot of kids and I was instantly motivated and inspired to choose this as my career to help these kids.

Growing up I was always under a strict set of rules. I was never allowed to go out with friends and hang out because my dad always said I’m a young girl and I didn’t need to be associated with the wrong crowd to become distracted from your school work. No matter what, he always told me that school comes first, before absolutely anything. From being home to going to school to coming back home was the daily routine. I also had to learn to cook from a young age because my parents always said that its best to learn from a young age because I’ll need to cook for my husband so he can have a hot plate of dinner when he came home from work. My parents were old school and had the tendency to try and follow how their life was in Guyana and how they grew up. As I grew older, I learned a variety of new things and came across many different lifestyles. I’ve adapted to my own life style now where I choose how me being a young woman, should be treated and what tasks I can accomplish in the future for being a stronger more independant woman. Both genders aren’t suppose to be assigned a certain role of how they are viewed. Like for women, they are relatively referred to as the house wife and the man is suppose to be the one to provide for the family. He would be the head of the household. I see it as both genders work 50/50 and support one another. The couple balances it out together and make it work so they see what best fits them.

Nastassia Molicheva Discussion 1

Hi everyone, my name is Nastassia Molicheva, I am a visual designer majoring in Multimedia Programming and Design and transferring to get a Communication Design B.F.A this fall. I am an immigrant from Belarus and have moved to the US about five years ago. Prior to moving I almost finished my B.S. in Languages and Intercultural Communications back home, so communications is a topic close to my heart. In my free time, I enjoy being in nature and taking long walks, singing, and keeping my body moving via yoga. I delight in traveling, learning new cultures, meeting new people, and discovering new things. I reside in Staten Island (don’t side-eye me, lol), but would love to have my own house with a beautiful backyard someplace warm (Cali? Austin?). Feel free to message me and keep in touch!

I enjoyed watching the videos immensely, as I always am interested in other people’s stories as a way to understand them better and enrich my own perspective.

My own gender story is that: I’ve grown in a binary culture, where women were supposed to be caring about the family, be soft and nurturing, and beautiful. That way, I internalized beauty and softness as a way to act like a woman (I identify as a cisgender woman). At the same time, I never felt myself naturally being like that, or even striving to be.

I was raised partially by my grandparents, where my grandmom was the epitome of strength and resilience and power over the whole family ( while still for some reason emphasizing that “you need a man”), and my single mother, who, possibly wasn’t as authoritative in her power, but always valued intelligence over beauty.

That way, I have grown with awfully mixed signals of what I am supposed to be. Besides the cultural binary of man/woman, there also was a binary of beautiful/smart. That way, I simply couldn’t be both, and I needed to choose one and be valuable for at least something. So I chose to be smart, at the same time resenting or not paying enough attention to taking care of how I look (not that I could really afford to). Because of the label, I chose for myself to adhere to the cultural norms of the society I lived in, there was no point to do so.

Sometimes I wonder if my choice was also visible to other people. One cannot see “intelligence” as easily as one can see “beauty”, and those labels are definitely subjective. I think I worried too much about how people perceive me because even though I chose the label of smart, I still wanted to adhere to the world around me and be more valuable (beautiful) – hence the long hair, and trying to be skinny (nevertheless, ending up looking tomboyish).

I am still not a girly girl, but more like a woman who loves both feminine and masculine clothes AND does minimal cooking (my boyfriend loves to, though), feels like she is smart AND beautiful (because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that eye is mine), and is ready to advocate for herself and others.

Discussion 1

Hi every one my name is Kiara Johnson . I am from Harlem, New York born and raised. I am 24 years old and I am perusing my degree In communications . This is my last semester at BMCC , I am excited for what is next to come in my life. Before attending BMCC I had no clue what I wanted to do when it came to college. After I graduated high school I went straight into work . I was hired at a retail store and those 4 years of working, towards the end I really started to think about college. I was afraid to attend college because of the work that was required from college students. If I could be honest I didn’t think I was capable and that’s what mainly stopped me my fear. When I finally enrolled in college I was majoring in nursing , but down the road I realized that field wasn’t for me . I’m still unsure right now on what I want to officially do with my career, but I do know I am on the right path.

Growing up I was limited to certain things in life . My father always taught me the things a man should do for a women and how a woman should be treated. You know the things like walking on the inside of the side walk or making sure the man always pays. I always held on to those teachings but as i got older I started to see the other things he believed that isn’t necessarily correct. I remember a time when we were moving into our new home and I took charge to carry some of the boxes. My father automatically stopped me and said no . I asked him why he wouldn’t allow me to carry the box to car? besides it was only a few steps away , his response was ” because you’re a female, you don’t carry boxes” being that I was 20 at this time I understood much better than when I was child. I responded to my father by explaining to him that my gender had nothing to do with me carrying a box. He was raised and taught al his life to hold those standards up when it came to women. My father grew up in a very old school home, his parent which are my grandparents plays part in gender, which some I believe isn’t fair.

My grandfather believes that us women have to be stay home wives. He believes that without a questions the women should cook and clean the house , wash the close and to start a family as soon as possible. My grandfather married my grandmother at the age of 17 , he was raised and taught to get married and have children at a young age . Fast forwarding now I expressed how things have changed and I personally myself will not accept the limits that comes with gender roles, and he understood. My father and grandfather now have a better mindset and understanding on just because generations passed down these beliefs doesn’t always make right. I believe both genders can play whatever role they like as long as their is a mutual agreement within the relationship .

Jhulio Vargas Discussion1

Hello everyone, my name is Jhulio Vargas, and I currently live in the Bronx. I am a full-time employee at New York Life, working as an Operation Consultant. I am also a Small Business Entrepreneurship major. I anticipate graduating by the end of 2020, and will then work my way towards receiving my bachelor’s at Baruch College. The ultimate goal is to open my own advisory company that helps college students through their college experience. I believe that businesses need to be corporately responsible for how your business impacts society and what you and your business can do to make the world a better place. That philosophy is my purpose, and I hope to impact and change people’s lives through my bussines. However, I believe this class can be beneficial to my overall life and career, as it can help me develop a more educated mindset that can help me have a better understanding of how gender can be created by the way we communicate and the impact that it has on people’s mind and behaviors. Furthermore, my spirit is very adventurous, and I enjoy traveling and learning about different cultures. Understanding different identities can help you have a more diverse perspective about others.

As I watched the videos, many things resonated with me, especially the first video, “Be a Man.” I grew up in a household where the men have always pictured as the head of the family. My father did not cook or clean; he only worked. On the other hand, my mother worked too and did all the cooking, cleaning while also bringing money to the table and taking care of us. Unfortunately, she was never seen as a strong contributor to the family, although she was doing more. All because she is a woman. I remember that as a kid, every time my brother and I fell or got injured, my parent will say, “stop crying, be a man,” or “stop crying be a boy.” I didn’t realize that this communication between my parent and me was building my gender identity. I grew up thinking that men are not week, that men don’t cry, but all that was how they perceive gender and probably without them noticing they were passing it down to me.

Despite the fact that some people think that men shouldn’t be cooking or cleaning because that is known to be women’s duties. I know that as a society we can progress, by accepting that we are all equal. Women and Men are both capable of doing the same jobs. A lot of this controversy are created because of stereotypes and lack of knowledge. Some first-generation immigrants are taught to treat women and men differently because they were raised this way. For example, my mom and Dad which never allowed my sister to be outside past nine o’clock at night, yet my brother and I would still be out by twelve am on a school night (perks of being a man they call it).

Gender & Communication COM265. Discussion1

Hello everyone, my name is Kulah Love Massaquoi, I am currently attending the Borough of Manhattan Community College majoring in Business Financial Management. I anticipate gaining my Associate Degree in Financial Management and transfer to a four-year college for my bachelor’s in Business Administration. The reason I want to earn a bachelor’s or a master’s degree is to gain a better understanding of what it takes to manage a business and help me at being successful. I am originally from a West African country called Liberia.

 

 My goal is to be an international business owner and banker. I decided to study business because growing up as a little girl I always had to take things to sell. When I sold those things, I realized that my products were meeting people’s needs and I was rewarded for it so I fell in love with the business, and nothing has changed since then. I also choose this job because as a business owner you can be the one in control to build things, help people, change the world, and have a good and flexible lifestyle and to manage in selling and buying goods as the owner of a business or banker. 

          I graduated from the class 26 Year Up program. I join the program to build my professionalism and learn more about the business world since I am a business student and want it to be a part of my success in life. I register for this class to be able to have good communication skills and to know about the different types of gender. My advisor asked me to register for this in order to have all my requirements for graduation this summer.

     Watching the video was very important because it makes me understand that when we hear about gender and communication we should not always think of sex, but race and ethnicity, I believe this Gender and Communication class will help me find a new approach to community love and communicating my feelings. I want to gain a more in-depth knowledge of love and exercising ways to communicate. Understanding self-love will help me reflect that in the community. 

I really enjoy the video and I’m thoroughly hopeful after watching and reading the discussion that everyone has a different identity and culture. Which makes communicating with others more exciting. It’s very important that we take life interesting and significant. As the first video “Be a Man” talks about various levels that love offers to each and every one of us.

Michelle Rodriguez Discussion Post #1-Final Portfolio

Hi everyone! My name is Michelle Rodriguez and I am a Gender & Women’s Studies Major. Two years ago I finally took the leap and enrolled back in school after many years of procrastinating and making excuses. My sons were already young men, one is already a father, making me a grandmother. So I had nothing but free time.

My main reason for enrolling in school was to learn Spanish. I work for a small personal injury law firm here in New York City and I am unable to communicate with at least a quarter of the clients because of said language barrier. Ironically, I was called in for an interview at my current firm because of my last name. When people see Rodriguez they automatically assume 1. you’re Spanish/Hispanic and 2. you speak Spanish. I am Puerto Rican but unfortunately for me, I do not speak Spanish, although I am able to understand a lot of it, but that doesn’t really help me much in communicating with someone. Luckily for me, I impressed them enough that they looked past my inability to speak Spanish and hired me along with someone who did speak Spanish.

When I first enrolled at BMCC, I thought going into Criminal Justice would be perfect for me as I have always been interested in the law, though I never wanted to be a lawyer because I don’t think/feel I am aggressive enough but I didn’t mind being behind the scenes- researching, preparing paperwork, etc.  All that changed when I went on the BMCC website and came across the Gender and Women’s Studies major. It was like something clicked and I knew this is the area of study I wanted to get into. And I am glad that I did. Though I am still undecided as to what I want to do, like in the article, Gender Stories, my “story” is still being written and I have made many choices that lead me where I am and there will be many more choices to be made on a daily basis, each choice contributing to the path I am on, eventually leading me where I will end up. And I certainly welcome the challenge.

Growing up, my household didn’t focus much on gender, but I can remember times it did play a part. I grew up with my dad, stepmother, 2 sisters and my little brother. My father eventually had a son (my brother) with my stepmother, but by then I had graduated high school and moved out. My father for the most part let us be who we were. We lived in Brooklyn Heights, across the street from the promenade, less than a block from the park. Needless to say, my siblings and I lived at the park. Climbing trees, riding bikes, playing baseball, tag, etc. My parents let us be kids for the most part. Our only “job” being to go to school. But I can also remember my stepmother having the girls wash the laundry because we were girls and that’s what girls did. Or washing the dinner dishes again because “that’s what girls do.” My brother took out the garbage because “that’s what boys do.” I can remember thinking “who made these rules?” As I got older I realized this is just learned behavior passed down from generation to generation. And in order for it to change, it has to start with us. My dad on the other hand taught my sisters and I everything he taught my brother because as he would state “you don’t need a man.” Which has sort of been my guide when raising my sons. They should be able to do for themselves and not expect a women to do for them simply because she is a “woman.” Whether it is cooking a meal, washing their clothes, cleaning their apartment, etc.

I think we need to breakaway from past generations/cultures, beginning with gender roles, what a woman or man should and should not do simply because of prehistoric teachings. We should be teaching acceptance. And we should be celebrating our differences and making more of an effort to get to know and understand each other before judging them.

Discussion 1

Evening everyone, my name is Zakiyah and I major in Liberal Arts. I hope to graduate by the end of next year, and will then try and transfer to a 4 year or an HBCU to pursue my bachelor’s in Biology. The goal is to ultimately pursue a career in the animal field whether its rescuing animals, being a vet, or zoology. I believe this class can develop me as a person and guide me as a person and who I am personally and probably help others on their own odyssey. I love animals, reading, video games, traveling, food, and being around people with good vibes. Being able to understand different congruences aids in trying to relate with others as well as effective communication between others too; I trust that this class demonstrates that aspect.

I enjoyed the videos and how divergent they were from each other. As previously stated in the reading, each one of us identifies ourselves differently. Even though this is an obvious statement it is refreshing to witness it first hand.

I was born in New York, but my family is mainly from the Caribbean (I also don’t consider myself American). Most of my family is from Grenada which is above Venezuela, gender roles consist of women cooking and cleaning while the men work and come home. In our schools, we don’t really learn about gender roles and gender equality; our school system is advanced so we learn about our basic 4 important common core subjects, with little extra subjects such as script and agriculture as well as our history and we have an assembly every morning before school starts where we sing gospel and recite the Lord’s prayer.

I didn’t live in Grenada for a long time (only a year) but from what I’ve been told depending on who your parents are being homosexual can either be a problem and have repercussions or be completely fine. In my opinion, it shouldn’t matter whether your child is homosexual or not and roles shouldn’t be classified by gender.

Tiffany Zeno Discussion 1

Hello everyone, my name is Tiffany and I am a Communications major. I anticipate on graduating by the end of the year, and will then work my way towards receiving my bachelors in Communications and Science. The ultimate goal is to receive my masters in Speech Pathology. I believe this class can be beneficial to my overall life and career, as it can help me navigate who I am as an individual, and possibly help others on their own personal journey.  I love to travel, and love learning about different cultures.  When visiting different countries, you learn that peoples perceptives on certain beliefs and values can vastly differ from what you know and believe in. Understanding different identities can help you relate with one another and effectively communicate. Not only when you travel, but also during your everyday life, and I believe this class can prove that.

I absolutely loved the videos and enjoyed seeing how different each of them were. As mentioned in the reading, we all identify ourselves differently. Although we already may know this, it is very interesting to see it so front and center. I can relate to the first video “Be a Man” on many different levels.

I grew up in a household where my father did not cook or clean. My father played sports, went to the gym, worked, and expected to be waited on hand and foot. My mother on the other hand also worked, but did all the cooking and cleaning. If she was not home, I was expected to do all the household duties. My fathers “manly man” ways did not work for their marriage and they eventually got divorced. Although seeing that type of behavior and relationship in my childhood and adolescence, it was not something I identified myself with. As I got older, I got into a relationship with someone who had similar experiences with his whole family. Luckily, him and I shared the same views on partnership. However, our families were shocked with what we valued and how different our relationship was. Ironically, my father did not necessarily feel my partner should be laid back as I do all the household duties, but him and his wife were very surprised when they saw us doing something that was different from their relationship. My mother also does not feel like I should do all the house work, or vise versa, but she constantly tells me that I should be softer and need to know my place as a woman. His parents also felt the same way my parents had. Everyone was so shocked with our relationship, as if it was something foreign.

Although, others feel men should not cook and clean, or vice versa, I do not judge them for beliefs. I respect what others value, regardless how much it differs with my values. It is understandable why certain relationships do not work when you have different beliefs and values, however you still do not have to be judgmental about it. Even sometimes acting shocked by someones behavior can be offensive or just simply annoying. To make meaningful bonds and communicate effectively I believe people need to be less rigid and be open to new things.

LISA BLAMFORT Discussion #1

My name is Lisa Blamfort, I was born and raised in Haiti a country when we adopt only the binary gender and nothing else matter because of our religion and cultural beliefs or maybe because we are a 3rd world and our school system fail us to teach us about gender and equality in a society where everybody is unique and different inside and outside. I spent my preschool, middle school and high school in a catholic school where they teach me being gay, trans or others is an abomination against Yahweh AKA God and we are going to burn in hell at the end of the world, because of the pressure of the school I never fully develop my gender identity it was impossible for me explore my options because the system didn’t give me one. After my high school years I decided to study law to become a judge but my parents didn’t agree because they felt like it was a job for a tough man but not for a sweet girl like me but I didn’t listen to them and went to law school anyway and spent one year before I moved in United States.

When I moved here everything was different the food, the diversity of race, culture and religion and more importantly the diversity of the population. This is the country that I have seen a gay, trans, cis for the first time on Tv in RuPaul Drag race and that was amazing to watch. I do really love the country because they teach about tolerance and self-love in a daily basis and everywhere.

Now that I am here decided to study Accounting and become a CPA and yet my parents again told me to study nursing, because I am girl and I need to act like one and choose a girly career.

I am someone who is calm, ambitious, competitive like a man, but I am not a lesbian even if some of my friends think that I am gay, but I told them I am not attracted to woman. It is just for me woman was considered always as a weak and vulnerable individual and I know I am not, and I don’t like that. Some of them call me strong woman but I hated that more, I am just an independent human being who doesn’t put herself down and see herself as a girl and a boy, I embraced both like gender as the assignment of meaning to bodies. Physically I look and sound like a woman but mentally I think like a man. Maybe that’s the reason growing up I always want to be a boss like those CEO that I usually see on Television. Coming here is a life changing for me because I can appreciate myself and feel proud of myself without being call crazy, gay or a “guy wanna be”.