Reading these articles made me again question who decided what was normal? who decided the standard to which we measure “normal” against was a “strong, white, upper-class, rich man?” Why does that make them normal? And those who don’t measure up why are anything but “normal.” People are unnecessarily complicated. People should be allowed to express themselves how they see fit without having someone else tell them they are wrong. People come in different shapes and sizes, different hair color, eye color, and so on and so forth, but we are all people. Not one person, class, race, etc. should be superior over another and it is silly for one group of people to think they are superior. We should all be getting to know about one another so that we can all better co-exist with one another. Like the article states, we need to familiarize ourselves with past transgressions, understand them and then make change so that we move forward in a way that rights a wrong. We shouldn’t dislike others for what they look like or how they dress, speak, eat, traditions and so on and so forth. And I believe this all starts at home and then reinforced in schools beginning with teaching acceptance and respect. Acceptance/respect regardless if you don’t understand. Acceptance/respect regardless if it’s not “normal.” to you. Acceptance/respect regardless if you don’t like/agree. The world is changing and so are we and therefore what was considered “normal” 100, 50 even 10 years ago is not “normal” now. And again, normal can mean so many different things to so many different people. My normal won’t be the same to others. Some may not even agree with how I was raised nor in turn how I raise my sons. But as long as we don’t offend others and impose on others we are entitled to our opinions.
Author: Michelle Rodriguez
Michelle Rodriguez Discussion Post #3
As I read this articles I try to reflect back on my own upbringing to see how it fits and I honestly find it hard at times. I didn’t grow up in a “conventional” home though it was a two parent home. My parents separated and I grew up with my dad who eventually remarried my now stepmother with whom he has a child with. My family isn’t religious though they do believe in God. We just don’t find it necessary to visit churches/places of worship to show our faith. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my dad treated my brother, three sisters and I equally and taught us equally. He was the superintendent of the building we lived in and he would teach us all how to do different things in the building such as giving the boiler water in order for the building to have heat or taking any one of us with him on a job to help him out whether it be to hand him tools or to hold a light over him so he could see. He taught us all to change tires and brakes on the car. He liked for us to all “know stuff.” When it came to growing up we were pretty much left to be ourselves. My brother being the only boy inevitably played with dolls and kitchen sets and other toys aimed at girls. No one ever made a big deal out of it. To us it was just toys and toys aid in pretend play. Another thing I remember growing up. was my father/family was big on natural beauty and was always making us feel good about ourselves and that included my brother. From a young age, we were taught to love ourselves regardless of our “insecurities” or what we perceived to be “imperfections.” Though the words used may have differed, such as handsome for my brother or beautiful for my sisters and I, the sentiment remains the same. We were told we didn’t need makeup. My family would always say “makeup may make you look pretty now but down the road you won’t ever be able to go out the house without it because your face will have eventually have holes and stuff from all the years of wearing makeup.” That about made the decision for me. I like how my face is. I did not want to do anything that would damage it. And now I just do not have the patience to learn to apply makeup and I like the freedom of being able to “get up and go.” Which brings me to style of dress. My parents let us all dress how we wanted with one rule, no short skirts, though this rule didn’t apply to my brother. Other than that we were free to dress in whatever clothing we choose. I believe my style of dress largely remains the same. So as I made this chart, it found it a bit hard to decide what “theory” category I would fit it into as I chose hair, makeup, shaved legs and weight and my feelings on each of them.
Hair: I’ve always loved having long hair since I was a young girl. I think long hair is beautiful and enhances ones beauty. At one point I wanted to be a hairstylist and can remember doing my sisters’ hair when I was younger and ultimately deciding that standing on my feet for hours on end doing hair was not for me.
Makeup: I don’t wear makeup though on rare occasion I do put on mascara. My household focused on our natural selves rather than covering up. Sometimes ones whole appearance can change with makeup.
shaved legs: I was taught when I was younger that we shave our legs so they appear nicer when they are clean shaven.
Weight: Although I did grow up in such a positive household, I did/do struggle with weight. I would see on the tv, or my friends in school who were much thinner than me and secretly wish I was that thin. “if only I didn’t have this stomach.” is something I muttered quite often.
Michelle Rodriguez Journal Post #2
When you read Unit 1, you are introduced to many terms and concepts you may or may not already be familiar with regarding people, their community, family, etc. These terms defined throughout help us to better understand the world around us and to better describe that world. People are complex beings on their own, with gender, identity, sexuality and once you add in laws, social institutions, etc. and it becomes all the more complicated. What a person may or may not have access to changes. Their social status might change. Maybe the jobs they have access to now changes. Intersectionality helps us better understand that. Shows us that there are layers to each person which can include but is not limited to their race, sex, gender, age, etc. When I got to the section on Racism I couldn’t help but to think of what is going on in the world presently. Why someone’s race is still a deciding factor never made sense to me. “…founding of the United States…were built to benefit wealthy, white men since at the time these were, by law, the only real “citizens” of the country.” it has been a long time since the “founding of the United States” you would think all these many years later and that wouldn’t matter any more. Yet it does. People in positions of power who cannot see a person for who they are, a person whether or not they are rich or poor, disabled, homosexual–they shouldn’t be in a position of power. It only negates any progress we have made and sets us back when we should be moving forward. eventually in the future this wouldn’t matter anymore and people will be focused on the more important aspects of a person-such as their credentials, experience, expertise.
Michelle Rodriguez Discussion Post #2
If i had to describe Gender to someone using a photo I would go with the Genderbread Person. I find it to be very simple and can be easily understood. We are who we are despite what others label us or what society has labeled as “normal” or “acceptable.” And if that means your gender doesn’t “match” with your genitals or you’re a woman who likes other women, etc., then so be it. I can’t help but to question each time I hear the word “normal” what is normal? normal to whom? Because even everyone’s sense of normal are not all the same. I’ve always thought gender and sex to be separate and apart from each other because I have family members and close friends who were born one sex but identify as the opposite sex. I’ve been around all types of people all of my life. So this concept wasn’t new or out of the norm to me. At times I think that also fuels my naivety because I find it hard to understand how people can dislike other people simply for the way they look, color of their skin, gender, sex, etc. without even taking the chance to get to know them. I didn’t grow up in a religious household at all and for the most part my parents did not enforce “gender” roles, though there were exceptions, such as the girls washing dishes/cleaned the house because “women cleaned and kept house” or my brother taking out the garbage because that was a “man’s job.” If anything, my father made sure his children were self sufficient, and didn’t “need” anyone but themselves-man or woman. We were all taught to go to school, educate ourselves, find a job and live life however we saw fit. My father couldn’t stress that enough. And again this is how I in turn raise my sons.
Values:
Family–Family is important and for the most part are there with you throughout important times in your life, no matter how big or small it may be. Throughout life people come and go but family is constant. My immediate family and I are pretty close and my brothers and sisters and I along with our children try and get together as much as possible. Life goes by in a flash, so we try to make as many memories as possible. And we teach our children the same in the hopes that it continues. And it is disheartening to see and know or even hear about others who aren’t as lucky to have a supportive family, people who aren’t judgmental and just generally want what’s best for you constantly in their lives pushing them to do/be better.
Work–Work is important because without a job there is not much you can do to self sustain. Work gets you money. Money you need in order to buy food, clothes, pay rent, enjoy life, etc. It’s always best to get a job doing what you love because then it doesn’t seem like a job. It will be something you look forward to doing everyday, spending all your time. Which at times will be more than you spend with your family/children.
Michelle Rodriguez Journal Post # 1
Watching the videos and then reading the Gender Stories article made me do a lot of thinking. For instance I related to the young woman with weight issues. I have struggled always struggled with my weight and continue to do so to this day. I sometimes pretend to have all the confidence in the world, but deep down I am a bit insecure about myself. Although I do feel this way I try to not let it prevent me from having a life, but I do make decisions that take into consideration my weight. That could mean buying a certain clothing with the aim of “hiding” imperfections or taking pictures at certain angles, etc. It may also mean taking a bit longer to get the courage to do something, such as enroll in school. Not only am I a “big” girl but I am also older than most of my classmates. But like in the portion under Agency in the Gender Stories article states “Life doesn’t just happen to you–it is something you can have a role in constructing.” Which basically means you have to build your life the way you want it, no one else can do it for you.
If you sit around and do nothing, then nothing will happen. So for the next phase of my life, re-enrolling in school was a necessary part. It was another chapter in my “story.” And as I continued to read the article I realized that whether we realize it or not we actually implement some of these techniques in our everyday lives. We may not all it as such, but it’s there. Such as “reframing.” The article defines it as “shifting perspectives so that you view a situation from a different vantage point.” Sometimes we have to take a step back to see something from someone else’s view, or even a completely different perspective altogether in order to fully understand what is being presented. You may or may not change someone’s mind, but at the least you give them something to think about. And like the article also says, change isn’t always easy, but once someone knows they have choices, it may make all the difference in any given situation.
Once everyone gets on the same page this world will be a much better place to live in. I may be a bit naïve in believing that one day the world will focus on more important stuff about each other, such as accomplishments, maybe their job, what they can bring to the table, etc., rather than what their genitalia entails. But hey, it could happen.
Michelle Rodriguez Discussion Post #1-Final Portfolio
Hi everyone! My name is Michelle Rodriguez and I am a Gender & Women’s Studies Major. Two years ago I finally took the leap and enrolled back in school after many years of procrastinating and making excuses. My sons were already young men, one is already a father, making me a grandmother. So I had nothing but free time.
My main reason for enrolling in school was to learn Spanish. I work for a small personal injury law firm here in New York City and I am unable to communicate with at least a quarter of the clients because of said language barrier. Ironically, I was called in for an interview at my current firm because of my last name. When people see Rodriguez they automatically assume 1. you’re Spanish/Hispanic and 2. you speak Spanish. I am Puerto Rican but unfortunately for me, I do not speak Spanish, although I am able to understand a lot of it, but that doesn’t really help me much in communicating with someone. Luckily for me, I impressed them enough that they looked past my inability to speak Spanish and hired me along with someone who did speak Spanish.
When I first enrolled at BMCC, I thought going into Criminal Justice would be perfect for me as I have always been interested in the law, though I never wanted to be a lawyer because I don’t think/feel I am aggressive enough but I didn’t mind being behind the scenes- researching, preparing paperwork, etc. All that changed when I went on the BMCC website and came across the Gender and Women’s Studies major. It was like something clicked and I knew this is the area of study I wanted to get into. And I am glad that I did. Though I am still undecided as to what I want to do, like in the article, Gender Stories, my “story” is still being written and I have made many choices that lead me where I am and there will be many more choices to be made on a daily basis, each choice contributing to the path I am on, eventually leading me where I will end up. And I certainly welcome the challenge.
Growing up, my household didn’t focus much on gender, but I can remember times it did play a part. I grew up with my dad, stepmother, 2 sisters and my little brother. My father eventually had a son (my brother) with my stepmother, but by then I had graduated high school and moved out. My father for the most part let us be who we were. We lived in Brooklyn Heights, across the street from the promenade, less than a block from the park. Needless to say, my siblings and I lived at the park. Climbing trees, riding bikes, playing baseball, tag, etc. My parents let us be kids for the most part. Our only “job” being to go to school. But I can also remember my stepmother having the girls wash the laundry because we were girls and that’s what girls did. Or washing the dinner dishes again because “that’s what girls do.” My brother took out the garbage because “that’s what boys do.” I can remember thinking “who made these rules?” As I got older I realized this is just learned behavior passed down from generation to generation. And in order for it to change, it has to start with us. My dad on the other hand taught my sisters and I everything he taught my brother because as he would state “you don’t need a man.” Which has sort of been my guide when raising my sons. They should be able to do for themselves and not expect a women to do for them simply because she is a “woman.” Whether it is cooking a meal, washing their clothes, cleaning their apartment, etc.
I think we need to breakaway from past generations/cultures, beginning with gender roles, what a woman or man should and should not do simply because of prehistoric teachings. We should be teaching acceptance. And we should be celebrating our differences and making more of an effort to get to know and understand each other before judging them.
