This chapter of “Gender Stories and introduction” by Dan P. McAdams, Ruthellen Josselson, & Amia Lieblich, Identity and Story shows us how important it is to be informed and explore different points of view. While reading, I got to understand that gender is a very deep topic, a topic that never ends and that everyone has an opinion on. When we speak about gender, the first thing we think is the concept of the word “Predictable”, it is all about a woman or a man. Since a baby is born, depending on their gender in some places we get to appreciate how their own family plans their future. They never stop and think about what that boy or girl would like while growing up. It is better today that if it’s a boy it could be a baseball player and if it’s a girl a model, rather than think about letting them chose their own path. Moreover, when is about the word gender, we can think big, since that single word can encompass so many things and among them; an example is diversity, ” Regardless of what you think about gender, and gender roles, your own experience shows you that there are many gender stories with many different plot lines being lived all around you.” (2) This quote shows that the opinions at the end do not matter as long as you feel comfortable with yourself because people will always have something to say. Also, when Kate Bornstein says that there is still doubts about “Such thing as a real man or a real woman” (5) gender should be more about how that person consider itself than how that person was born if it does not feels right for them. I ended up realizing I have so much in common than what I realize I had, I’ve never thought about how will my friend think or feel the one who likes women, or my friend who likes men? will they feel comfortable in their own body? How do you face your day to day with the opinions of the people around you? gender does have different impacts in each person.
Author: Anaya A
Discussion #1
My name is Anaya Alcantara; I’m currently a Liberal Art student. I am in my last semester here at BMCC, and looking forward to becoming a Respiratory Therapist. Being a therapist it’s been my dream for so long I can not even remember, choosing to help people to live and feel alive by helping them to just breathe makes my heart full. I was born here, in the United States, but raised in the Dominican Republic by my maternal grandmother. I came back to the United States at 12 years old. In the Dominican Republic, where I grew up, gender is a topic of discussion; it is a hard topic to open up and speak about during a conversation. Such a controversial conversation can lead you to create conflicts with the others who do not have the same point of you, ending up by not talking to each other anymore. Adults will not speak in front of children certain topics when you are around. In my case, my grandmother said I was too young to know about these things, they said it is “inappropriate”. While I was growing up, my family thought me that girls can not play with boys, because then people will call you “machera” which means tomboy. Also, they always tell you that girls should not seat on any men’s lap, it does not matter if it is a family of yours, you can not do that. In a country like the one that I was raised in, we are not allowed to be ourselves, we have to be a mirror of what society wants us to be, especially if it’s a very religious one. They do not ask you what do you want to be or if you feel comfortable that way, because for them that is an irrelevant conversation. My family might have stopped me from playing with boys or restricted me from being part of conversations but never told me how I was supposed to feel about myself with a bunch of rules to follow because of what society might think about me. On the other hand, even If I was not comfortable, back then I had to live the only way I was tought, it was the only thing I knew. It was until now that I have myself thinking about my gender, how did I end up liking boys? was it because it had to be that way? I mean, I have never tried something else.
