Michelle Rodriguez Gender & Identity Project

I know based on biological reasons and in keeping with the binary we are taught, I am female. I was born with a vagina, breasts and all my “lady parts” and further I do identify as a female which therefore makes me a cisgender woman. I wholly believe people should be able to express themselves, their gender and identity how they each see fit and without the backlash of those who either don’t understand or those who don’t want to understand one another.

As i’ve stated previously, I grew up with my dad, stepmother, two sisters, one brother and a stepsister. Eventually my stepmother became pregnant with and had my half brother,  many years later. My father is Puerto Rican and my mother is Italian but besides knowing what my nationality is, I did not, until recently, know much about my roots/heritage or about Puerto Rican culture with the exception of eating the food and hearing the language spoken over the years between family members. But even my knowledge on the food of my “people” is superficial at best. And I don’t speak the language, despite my father speaking it.

Growing up with my father also  meant not knowing much of my mother’s family so needless to say I knew less about my Italian culture. My family on my biological mother’s side didn’t really take the time to get to know us. My “grandparents” did not accept my father because of his nationality/race therefore and unfortunately for them, they never got to know us and subsequently our children. And all for what? As recently as ten years ago they got in touch with us and have tried to “make up for lost time” if there even is such a thing. If it wasn’t for social media, some who have reached out in the most recent years probably would not have otherwise. I guess better late than never?

Growing up and ever since I can remember whether or not we were male or female didn’t make a difference to my father. If he needed help whoever was around or closest to him was who he called on. My sisters and I were not “safe” just because we were girls.  My father tried his best to treat us all the same. Part of me believes it is because he was a guy and so teaching teenage girls how to be “young women” wasn’t his strong suit. But he did his best. My stepmother tried, but she was thrust into a situation the she herself wasn’t ready for and at her young age it definitely was more than she expected. So it wasn’t hard to notice the “resentment” at times. That resentment subsided as we got older and ventured of on our own. Further, and for reasons I’ve stated in other posts, my father felt we should learn all we could about anything and everything because the more we knew, the more we didn’t have to depend on anyone but ourselves. If anything, our independence was what was most important to him. All throughout my childhood through to today my father still says to me “you do not need a man.” And he is completely right. We do not need anyone, whether it is a man or woman, as we all are and should be capable of handling any situation we are put in.

My father also always taught us to enjoy life, go to school get a career, get our life together and then if we want to get married and have children, but not a second before. My father placed a great deal of emphasis on us going to school and working. Having our own family was something he considered a plus, not something we had to do and therefore it wasn’t something he “looked” forward too. He looked forward to us becoming something and making something of ourselves. As I was allowed the freedom to make and learn from my own mistakes, choices I made throughout my life didn’t necessarily take the preferred path of my father. But life isn’t always set in stone so there’s bound to be deviations. And he never made me feel bad about my decisions.

Growing up my siblings and I went to public school here in NYC, which included grade school, middle school and high school so we were always around all different types of people, from different races, different walks of life, gay, straight, etc. Some are even in my family. So I don’t know nor understand what it is to hate and/or dislike others for reasons such as the color of their skin, their religion, sexual orientation, disability, and so on and so forth. I don’t understand how some people feel superior to others based on those same reasons as well. People are people and should always be treated as such. We grew up in a house where we were taught to treat everyone with respect regardless of status, job occupation, skin color, etc., as you may never know when you may be in a similar situation or if you may ever need said person.

I didn’t grow up in a very religious household either. We weren’t a family that went every Sunday to church and listened to the word of God, though there is a universal belief that there is a God. But that is something we are taught and are passed down throughout the family. My family felt that we didn’t need to attend church to show our faith. But as of late I have really just been questioning who is to say if there really is God? Certainly everyone has their right to believe he exists. And certainly they all are able to worship whom they please just as those also have a choice not to worship for whatever reason. I just think a God that sets guidelines which details what makes a person acceptable or not, is not really a good example for the people, and therefore why should we give “Him” any credibility?