As men and women, we are conditioned to behave, act, talk and create in certain ways depending on the norms of our society and community. and if we don’t follow these commands we risk to be rejected.
Social learning theory and cultural theories are the first learning aspects that we endure as a child and we see is as a normal behavior toward certain aspects of life since our parents act the same way as well. Girls are supposed to be shy, quiet, play with dolls, learning how to nurture and take care of babies, as well as playing with cooking tools. While boys are meant to be loud, running around the house, and playing with toy guns and construction tools to build their personality and make them stronger as ahead of the household in the future.
I can admit that my body parts reflect the exact image and reflection of the social characteristics of these fundamentals, and it’s really hard to overcome them. I followed these command performances since birth and I never felt that it was abnormal until I become a teenager but afraid of being rejected I grew an inner voice of rage and disappointment toward my society and decide to pursue my education to have a positive impact on my family and my community.
Also, Body Politics and Gender Performativity have affected my persona as a woman since my destiny was to menstruate, get married, give birth, and nurse my children. Suppressing my dreams and my intentions to have or change the women and danger perspective within my community. Women are and will still be obsessed with their beautiful bodies and images and will do whatever it takes to look more and more attractive.
It has been very difficult to refuse a command performance, as a middle-class woman with kids and a full-time job, I can admit that refusing a command performance is one of my worries since I still need to provide for myself and my family, but I still can refuse it in an indirect political way without harming myself by expressing my opinion on certain issues at work as a woman when the boss is a man and is expected to be correct all the time.
Maybe you refuse the command performance by being a college student. As you may have noticed, most textbooks assume college students are under the age of 23/24, live in a dorm, aren’t married and don’t have children, etc. You performing college student differently helps us to rethink what “college student” can mean 🙂 And I wish more of the textbook authors would include more diverse experiences in their writing.
Hello Brianne,
I absolutely agree. Thank you for your feedback.
Body politics truly does have an affect on us and how we perceive things. You mentioned that you were aiming to menstruate, get married and have kids in exchange for your dreams due to the beliefs you were taught. When i was younger even in my teens i realized that life is way more than those things. Are those things beautiful ? absolutely but its also okay if some choose not to take that route.
Hello Firdawce,
Thank you for sharing this with us. The diagram that you’ve made was very relatable. You described your legs as smooth, but where you received that message was from society. the messages you received to your understanding is “men’s legs can be hairy”, when us females are not properly “groomed”, we are judged because of inheritance. You stated, “I can admit that my body parts reflect the exact image and reflection of the social characteristics of these fundamentals, and it’s really hard to overcome them.” We always have judgmental about ourselves that others don’t even acknowledge. You also stated, “Also, Body Politics and Gender Performativity have affected my persona as a woman since my destiny was to menstruate, get married, give birth, and nurse my children. Suppressing my dreams and my intentions to have or change the women and danger perspective within my community. Women are and will still be obsessed with their beautiful bodies and images and will do whatever it takes to look more and more attractive”. We try to make a comparison with the photoshopped pictures of females and how they are portrayed in society. We as females try to complete the impossible.
Hi Firdawce, Thank you & wow. The suppressing of your dreams really hit me because I have seen many women in the family and social life set aside their desires and goal to play the role given to them. I also feel like there’s a pressure, similar to how you mentioned, that women have complete the socially accepted checklist in order to be accepted. Thank you for sharing!