I will be honest, gender has always confused me. Because I don’t know much about it, I’ve always just assumed that gender and sexuality were in the same category. I now know that they are not. The chart I would use to define me is the unicorn chart. Besides the pretty visuals, it sums up how I look at gender. I look at things through attraction and feelings. This chart seems to do the best with aligning with my views.
In writing my own chart the easiest thing to me was outlining my
gender and sexuality. Every other aspect of my identity was hard to define. I definitely know there have been very strong influences in my life that have made me who I am but putting those experiences in a box was hard.
The biggest influence that has contributed to who I am is my family. I have very few memories before the age of 9 but the ones that I do have are very vivid and distinct. I wrote on my chart that my sister is my best friend and she did raise me for a portion of my life. At the time that she was taking care of me I was in the bond developing stage of my life. Because it was just me and her I created very strong attachment issues as well as a very strong level of independence. Those traits have carried through into my adult life. The next big influence on me is my roots. My culture, my heritage, and the area that I grew up is a big deal to me. Growing up in the Caribbean and coming from a Caribbean American family gives me a very specific values. I value my traditions and carry that over into every aspect of my life. The last thing that I feel greatly influenced me is my spirituality. Going to catholic school for majority of my life really made me disagree with organized religion. On top of that my grandmother is a minister. Having religion forced onto me really made me want to branch out on my own and find my own lane in spirituality. I started exploring and found what made me most comfortable and relaxed. Going through the process of writing all of these things out has really given me a better understanding of myself.
Hello Adynah Richardson, my family made me who I am right now too, I grew up in a family of 6 men and 2 women. I had a lot of male influence from my brothers and uncles, those guys showed me how to act and think like a man I feel so lucky that I had that experience as child now I consider myself agender because i don’t see the difference between men and women except the anatomy one.
Hello Adynah! It is empowering to see how regardless of these challenges, you were able to move forward and embrace your experiences. I see how my religious identity and experiences as a 7 year old moving to a different country have been an ongoing process. In a similar way I found a way to embrace my identity challenges.
Hello Adynah,
I connect with your story very much. I have raised my younger brother for majority of his life. So it touches me on many levels to see that you have such a strong bond with your sister. My family is not necessarily religious, but I was raised Catholic, and did go to a Catholic junior high school. However, I encourage everyone to follow their own personal beliefs. So I am extremely happy for you; that you followed your own path at which it puts you at ease.
Hi Adynah,
I love your post, I am also from the Caribbean as well! I can relate to you when you spoke out about religion. I too had to branch out to find out/understand my own spirituality because when I had questions I would get a dismissive response. I can definitely relate with you, I’m so happy you were able to create a space of comfort and happiness for yourself. Proud of you!
Hey Adynah, loved what you posted and I’m also Caribbean, I can really relate to you when you mentioned religion. I can agree with you on branching out and learning what I believe in and my own spirit; I used to go to a catholic school (I think lol it was 8 years ago so it’s hard to remember) and we had to pray in the morning, afternoon and evening, not to mention morning assembly. I encourage anyone to follow and embrace their own beliefs and themselves as a person and hope that they find happiness in what and who they become as a result of it.