Hi every one my name is Kiara Johnson . I am from Harlem, New York born and raised. I am 24 years old and I am perusing my degree In communications . This is my last semester at BMCC , I am excited for what is next to come in my life. Before attending BMCC I had no clue what I wanted to do when it came to college. After I graduated high school I went straight into work . I was hired at a retail store and those 4 years of working, towards the end I really started to think about college. I was afraid to attend college because of the work that was required from college students. If I could be honest I didn’t think I was capable and that’s what mainly stopped me my fear. When I finally enrolled in college I was majoring in nursing , but down the road I realized that field wasn’t for me . I’m still unsure right now on what I want to officially do with my career, but I do know I am on the right path.
Growing up I was limited to certain things in life . My father always taught me the things a man should do for a women and how a woman should be treated. You know the things like walking on the inside of the side walk or making sure the man always pays. I always held on to those teachings but as i got older I started to see the other things he believed that isn’t necessarily correct. I remember a time when we were moving into our new home and I took charge to carry some of the boxes. My father automatically stopped me and said no . I asked him why he wouldn’t allow me to carry the box to car? besides it was only a few steps away , his response was ” because you’re a female, you don’t carry boxes” being that I was 20 at this time I understood much better than when I was child. I responded to my father by explaining to him that my gender had nothing to do with me carrying a box. He was raised and taught al his life to hold those standards up when it came to women. My father grew up in a very old school home, his parent which are my grandparents plays part in gender, which some I believe isn’t fair.
My grandfather believes that us women have to be stay home wives. He believes that without a questions the women should cook and clean the house , wash the close and to start a family as soon as possible. My grandfather married my grandmother at the age of 17 , he was raised and taught to get married and have children at a young age . Fast forwarding now I expressed how things have changed and I personally myself will not accept the limits that comes with gender roles, and he understood. My father and grandfather now have a better mindset and understanding on just because generations passed down these beliefs doesn’t always make right. I believe both genders can play whatever role they like as long as their is a mutual agreement within the relationship .
Hi Kiara, thanks for sharing. This is somewhat like what I talked about previously. You mentioned that your father always taught you the things a man should do for a woman and how women should be treated . Similar events happened to me when it comes to how communication impacted my gender perspective as a kid. I grew up in a household where the girls washed the laundry and washed the dishes because “that’s what girls do. The boys would take out the garbage because “that’s what boys do.” This happened because that was a mindset that our parents inherited from our ancestors, and it was passed down. Is like society creates particular requirements of how a male or female should be perceived or treated that resonate with people minds. That when I think that education comes into place where we study different identities and explore different perspectives of gender and sexual identity to expand our perspectives.
Hi Kiara, thanks for sharing. This is somewhat like what I talked about previously. You mentioned that your father always taught you the things a man should do for a woman and how women should be treated . Similar events happened to me when it comes to how communication impacted my gender perspective as a kid. I grew up in a household where the girls washed the laundry and washed the dishes because “that’s what girls do. The boys would take out the garbage because “that’s what boys do.” This happened because that was a mindset that our parents inherited from our ancestors, and it was passed down. Is like society creates particular requirements of how a male or female should be perceived or treated that resonate with people minds. That when I think that education comes into place where we study different identities and explore different perspectives of gender and sexual identity to expand our perspectives.
Hi Kiara, thanks for sharing.
I relate to your post a lot, but there was actually a reason for not carrying the boxes in my case – I was told: “You have to save yourself to carry children, you shouldn’t carry heavy boxes” and so on and so forth. The culture I am coming from used to have a strong binary division and the roles associated with that. I too agree that not everything that I was taught as a child is applicable in modern society and in the current US culture. I believe that the countries where capitalism isn’t as prominent may still adhere to the old ways without it being a disturbance. At the same time, even in the US, it is highly unlikely for someone to become a full-time housewive simply because of the economical reasons, especially in NYC.
I’m glad your father and grandfather support your position in terms of gender roles – opinions and values about that could be challenging to change.
Hello Kiara,
I also did not go straight to college after high school, and instead worked. I am glad you have decided to come back a pursue your personal goals. No need to put pressure on yourself, as you stated, you’re on the right path! I am glad to hear your grandfather and father are open to new ideas and perspectives. I think it is important that you mentioned that people can play whatever role they like in a relationship, as long as its a mutual agreement between both parties. Just because we feel a certain way about gender roles doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be open to other perspectives or judge others.
Hey Kiara, when I graduated from high school, I was already working but I was in retail just like you. I thought that going to college would be hard to maintain because you’d always hear about how tough the work was and how much you needed to get done in such little time. But the motivation of me thinking to myself what I could be possibly be in the future made me follow through and come to BMCC. I think its great where your mindset is because only you knows what’s best for you.
Hi Kiara,
One of the best things we can do is to change the mindsets of other people for the better. I’m glad you were able to share your thoughts to the male figures in your life and grow beyond gender limitations and expectations placed on you. I strongly believe that it is up to us to stop certain stereotypes from being passed down to our future generations. I’m wishing you the best of luck in your college journey and keep up the confidence. You can do anything you set your mind to.