Srijana Bhandari Discussion 1

Hello friends, my name is Srijana. I was born and raised in Nepal. I have been living in United states since last six year for my school. I love volunteering, playing basketball and travelling. I was more interested to take human services major but somehow end up with Finance but no regrets. 
I come from a family where I have six siblings among which five of us are girl children and the eldest one is my brother. My mom has to go through a lot of struggle because my dad and his parents were very old fashioned and religious who believed on having son makes a family happy, look after them and create them a way to heaven .Truly I still don’t understand what that meant beside the face it was a lot of pain to my mother who end of giving birth to five daughters after having very 1st eldest son and as my dad and his parents wanted my mom to give birth to their 2nd child as son. The day that I realize that my mom has to go through all this just to have son and she end of giving birth to all girls (it was not her fault which she took blame for very long time), I always wanted to be a son figure to my parents, in my family and take more responsibility.
It has been always confusing to me how my father had so conservative thinking and another side I have this eldest brother of mine who completely gave me an idea that all male figure are not same and developed himself father figure to me, by looking after me when I child, helping me to go to school and always giving moral support and being there in need of any guidance.
As I grew up, my brother is only person who made me I realized that school is the only place where I can develop myself, educate myself to distinguish between right or wrong, and keep myself capable of living on my own because my mom didn’t have an opportunity of going school and got arranged marriage when she was just 18 years old.
Most of all I always wanted to prove to my dad and his parents that a girl child is never less than a son. I still find the differences he does between my brother and us (girl child) but it does not bother me at all, instead it motivates me to be better. And I came to realization along with time that I definitely don’t have to be son figure that my family has imaged of or the society has created the illusion that only son can look after family or take a responsibility or just be the decision making person in the family. I can be all that just being who am I, a 5th daughter of my mom. A girl who is capable of doing exactly what people around me would not believe a girl figure can be, being bold, responsible and hardworking. I developed myself to be exceptionally well prepared, and eager to undertake any obstacles which come my way.
School has always been a place where I find myself happy. Happy in a sense that makes me to be me, be optimistic and has helped in the growth of mind. Developed myself emotionally and mentally prepare to deal with patriarchal society I come from.
I decided to come here because the educational system of the USA is much more sophisticated than my native country, and I want to prove myself by doing the things on my own. I was the first girl child in the family who came to foreign country all on my own for my study.
I have always tried to make myself capable physically, emotionally and financially to cope with the obstacles that I am going to face in every stage of my life.
It was never easy to pursue my education here in the states, coming from middle class family and not getting full support from my dad (who kind of used to make all decision in my family). I had to go through different challenges while starting a school here in the United states. But I have always believed that if I can overcome all the challenges and then can be who I want to be
For me my decision coming to United states was a grated transitional period of developing myself and creating my own identity. Because I always have this deep down that if I didn’t make myself strong to survive this new environment, ready to cope new obstacle coming my way then I am never going to be who I want to be in my life.
Being independent, able to make decision on my own, and being financially capable so that I don’t have to rely on parents was all I wanted in my life which is not very common thought of girls back in my home country.
To some extent I have proven myself. And in 2019 I invited my parents here in United States for visit and I could see how proud my mom was to see me where I stand and my dad I really wanted to know what he feels about where I am today and what I am despite going again all his decision in the past but unfortunately even during their stay here with me I never got chance to have father-daughter talk. Hopefully someday…