Hi everyone. My name is Adynah Richardson. I am a psychology major at BMCC. This is one of three classes that I am taking this semester, which happens to be my last. I will be transferring to CUNY Hunter next semester to study behavioral neuroscience. Human behavior is the most interesting thing to me. The mind is capable of so much, just learning a little bit about it is fascinating. After my time at Hunter, I plan to go though school until I get my PhD and MD.
When I first listened to what this assignment was and then listened to the gender stories of previous students, I realized that I have had very little to no gender identity questioning in my own life. I was raised in a household where everyone contributed. Although my parents divorced when I was very young, the responsibilities were shared equally. There was nothing that was specifically male or specifically female. I am very grateful for that. It wasn’t until I was more exposed to the world that I noticed that people struggle with defining what their identity is. I had to speak to my sister to really try an find something that I may have questioned.
In our discussion I was able to come up with a few times where I questioned the gender identity roles of others that I know. The first instance is with my grandmother. She comes from a very old, very deep rooted Caribbean culture. Although I did grow up with the same culture and traditions, because of the age difference her views on this topic differ from mine. The difference is in they way men are treated as fathers, sons, and husbands. I’ve heard her say on many occasions that men shouldn’t make their own plates and that he shouldn’t come get them either. They must be served. She also has the tendency to pacify men and treat them with kid gloves. I have noticed this with all the women of her generation and specific cultural background. In seeing the women before me treat men, I definitely did question their role in each others lives. It seemed to be that the women’s role was primarily to make the men happy at all costs and the men’s role is to simply exist. Like I said it is very different than the way I was raised, to me everyone no matter how they identify is an equal. However, from what I observe that isn’t the case for my elders.
The last story I want to share is about my upbringing. I feel very blessed to have been raised to feel very secure in my gender identity and have the views that I have. My father taught me what it was to be a ‘man’. He taught me how to fix cars and how to play basket ball. He taught me about sneakers and how to have swag. He taught me things that you typically wouldn’t expect of a girl. However, he also taught me how to be a ‘women’. He taught me how to cook and how to clean. How I should carry myself and present myself in public. There was never anything that was strictly male or strictly female. It was all one human experience. My mother did the same. There were no gender roles for me. I was just able to be. Personally for me I think this is an experience everyone should have. There is no longer man and woman. There is a variety of relationship combinations and ways people identify, I believe that the way we interact should reflect that.
Hello Adynah ,I enjoyed reading your post ! I absolutely loved when you expressed how even though you was taught to be a man you was also taught on how to be a women. Such as taking on the roles society usually expects women to have . Cooking , cleaning and how to carry and present yourself. I think that is so vital in this world today, like you said its about the human experience and all should partake in it . Men and women boy and girl should know how to take care of themselves and not depend on another person based on their gender to do it. I truly wish you success on your journey and bright future !
Hi Adynah,
Thank you for sharing! Neuroscience is fascinating – I myself am majoring in Design and Programming studies, but often read or watch videos about the human brain and cognitive studies.
It’s cool that you have your whole educational path planned all the way up – this is my last semester, and I am too, taking three classes and then transferring, however to NYCCT for a Communication Design BFA and not much planned after that yet.
I find it enriching that you’ve had an opportunity to see the different ways your elders express gender roles in comparison to yours. As you said, It’s important to know both stereotypically “feminine” gender roles such as cooking and cleaning as well as “masculine” ones such as fixing a car or doing math in order to be a well-rounded person and have a “human experience”.