(Gun Violence)
“We lose eight children and teenagers to gun violence every day. If a mysterious virus suddenly started killing eight of our children every day, America would mobilize teams of doctors and public health officials. We would move heaven and earth until we found a way to protect our children. But not with gun violence” ― Elizabeth Warren. In the United States, gun violence is a leading cause of death. Every year, guns murder over 38,000 people and injure approximately 85,000 others. Therefore, certain policies should be introduced to reduce the likelihood of people dying from gun violence. Gun violence is an ongoing issue in America that could be changed with certain policies that limit gun control but is still an underlying issue due to the people who advocate for gun control.
One way of testing out the waters with gun possession is allowing guns on college campuses. For good reason, the vast majority of colleges want to keep their campuses gun-free, yet we’re seeing a pro-gun movement push for legislation that would force colleges and universities to allow loaded, concealed guns on campus. Allowing concealed guns on campus would not only increase the risk of bloodshed, but would also place an extra burden on institutions, forcing them to buy new equipment, hire more security, and offer training. Furthermore, most permit holders lack the regular and continuous tactical training required to use deadly force in the event of an active shooter, and university law enforcement opposes campus-carry laws. And legislators aren’t in the best position to analyze each campus community’s health and safety concerns. According to a 2005 Department of Justice survey, 93 percent of violent crimes against college students take place off-campus (Andy Pelosi). As a result, it isn’t a relevant act to promote gun control on college campuses. Another movement that supports gun control and possibly promotes gun violence is arming school staff. Dean Rieck, a pro-gun activist, stated that teachers aren’t as well-trained as cops. He also mentioned that many police officers do not receive active-killer training. In addition, general firearms training is only a small part of what students study at the academy. Teachers who volunteer to carry a firearm at school, even if they have no training, are more likely to do so in their personal lives and have a lifetime of guns expertise (Dean Rieck). This can be rebutted by hiring trained policemen who have experience. This in turn will help save lives, add extra protection, and cause less doubt in hostile situations.
In conclusion, even though some people believe that gun ownership is necessary, gun violence has been a problem in America for many years and should be addressed by limiting gun control. Guns are one of the main causes of death in the United States that should be addressed, as it’s responsible for 38,000 murders per year. Moreover, advocates of gun control keep pushing the notion that guns will help end violence, even though it promotes it even more. For instance, there’s a pro movement toward college students owning guns. How would anyone know if a random student with a gun is in the right state of mind and isn’t dealing with any problems. As a result, this can potentially increase the risk of people dying from gun violence.
Citation:
Gun Violence, https://www.apha.org/topics-and-issues/gun-violence.
“Guns on Campus.” CQ Researcher, https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/.
“Gun violence.” CQ Researcher, https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/.
“A Quote from a Fighting Chance.” Goodreads, Goodreads, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1262846-we-lose-eight-children-and-teenagers-to-gun-violence-every.
2 thoughts on “Peer Review (Gun violence)”
Hello Tarik
1. The essay includes a thesis statement. The thesis is “Gun violence is an ongoing issue in America that could be changed with certain policies that limit gun control but is still an underlying issue due to the people who advocate for gun control.” It is clearly stated and can be arguable.
2. The writing has only one body paragraph and it does support and develops the thesis statement with information but I didn’t see where the information came from. The sources were not stated properly. However, some facts about gun violence have been stated.
3. Supporting evidence was connected based on one body paragraph but more facts and stories are needed to prove the thesis.
4. The essay does not include three sources and I am not sure where it came from because it is not properly stated. I did see a quote from a source but the source must be stated and who has written it.
5. The research supports the thesis statement but I wasn’t sure if it’s with or without replacing the author’s voice because enough sources weren’t provided. The writer has voiced to have guns controlled with the change of certain policies.
6. The opposing viewpoint was provided followed by refutation. The student can carry guns for their safety but what if the student is not in his right state of mind then there can be consequences.
7. Essay is organized but not enough sources and evidence have been provided for the argument.
8. The grammar, syntax, and vocabulary are consistent and appropriate for the college-level paper. A proper essay is written but lacks evidence and sources with explanations of a different situation.
9. The conclusion is the strength of this draft and is well organized with a proper explanation of the thesis statement.
10. Please think of gun violence with gang members and gun licensing, they can probably help you more to gather more arguments for this topic I believe.
1. The essay does include a thesis statement which is “ Gun violence could be changed with certain policies that limit gun control but is still an underlying issue due to the people who advocate for gun control.”. It is clearly stated and arguable, it is a topic that is subject of debate in the US.
2. There is one body paragraph which developed the thesis statement by providing supporting evidence for the claim about limiting gun control. however, after reading the body paragraph I am not really sure about the author view point, it is hard to say which side he is on.
3. The supporting evidence are not clearly stated, it could need some structure.
4. The essay includes 4 sources and 2 are from the CQ researcher, however, they were not cited in the text properly, it was not clear for me which quote or passage came from which article.
5. Yes, the research supports the thesis statement but sources are not properly cited in text so it is har to say if the evidence were from reliable sources or just from the author opinion on the subject.
6. As mentioned earlier the author view point was not very clear to me so as the opposite view point.
7. The essay is well-organized because it has an introduction, body paragraph and a conclusion which is a typical structure of an essay. Although the essay can use more details and evidence.
8. The grammar and vocabulary are appropriate for a college-level paper. However, the syntax at some point lack a bit of clarity.
9. The strength of this writing is the topic and the thesis statement which is very interesting and arguable.
10. it is an interesting subject, just need more arguments and some structure.