Historically men have placed an extreme emphasis on women’s perceived shortcomings yet at the same time have also held us to an incredibly high standard regardless. Trying to get your male partner to share the housework or being unsatisfied sexually are things women have been conditioned to settle for and that men have been conditioned to find themselves comfortable with. Men have even gone as far as creating justification for this experience that more often than not, benefits them and not women. As stated in the Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm, when we are not sexually stimulated or satisified by what is satisfying to men, we are deemed dysfunctional and met with claims of mental illness and problems with development. As if we are programmable artificial intelligence, we are supposed to train ourselves to like what they like so that men can be satisfied at all times. As summarized by Koedt in their excerpt ‘The myth of the Vaginal Orgasm’ “Once having laid down the law about the nature of our sexuality, Freud not so strangely discovered a tremendous problem of frigidity in women. His recommended cure for a woman who was frigid was psychiatric care. She was suffering from failure to mentally adjust to her “natural” role as a woman.“ (Koedt 1970).
Narratives and myths like this contribute to the global societal objectification of women. We are not viewed as human beings with thoughts, feelings, senses, the ability to feel pain, and the list goes on. It has been dehumanizing living as a woman once you realize the abundant lack of empathy men have for you. It is isolating and scary to live in a world where you are expected to be a tool for the pleasure and emotional fulfillment of men, their children, and not yourself. Even down to things like maintaining basic routines that are a necessity for living and functioning, men will boil it down to feminine work. Feminine meaning work that is not worth doing, work for the weak or lesser, etc. In ‘The Politics of Housework’ Mainardi talks about the many ways their husband routinely downplays, complains about, or tries to avoid housework altogether.
“I don’t mind sharing the work, but you’ll have to show me how to do it.”MEANING: I ask a lot of questions and you’ll have to show me everything every time I do it because I don’t remember so good. Also don’ t try to sit down and read while I’M doing my jobs because I’m going to annoy hell out of you until it’s easier to do them yourself.” -(Mainardi 1970) Within my household, the men do the same thing. It is obvious that they know how to maintain cleanliness when they find it necessary, like when they take time out to clean their gaming consoles or take the time out to get ready for work. They care for things they find worth caring about. That is rarely the cleanliness of their own living space as women are expected to carry the burden of that care as well.
