Living as someone who is gender nonconforming or gender nonbinary means you are subjected to constant questioning, ridicule, and victim blaming. In a society that constantly focuses on their appearance, it allows for people to deflect from the main issue at hand. Their expression is reduced to costume wear, entertainment, or an act instead of their genuine identity and portrayal of it. Cisgender people have the privilege of not being constantly asked why they dress the way they do, why they look the way they do, or why their existence should be acknowledged and at the very least given the same respect as everyone else’s. Racially, this problem becomes exacerbated when you factor in the dangers of being a certain race added in with your gender. Black trans women and black transfeminine people are murdered at an alarming rate and yet no attention or support is given, because this society allows one’s murder to be pinned on their gender identity instead of the person who committed the act in the first place. The same goes for homelessness, and the discrimination faced in the workplace. Rather than blaming the killer they’d rather blame the ones who cannot speak to defend themselves anymore. It is almost always perceived as deceit or trickery when someone expressing their gender is neither of those things, and will never be an excuse to harm someone. Cis people have always had the privilege of not worrying that if they were harmed, that it would be because they decided to express themselves in the way they did. 

More value and weight is given to Cis people’s opinion of those who are gender nonbinary than the actual gender nonbinary people living among us. It is silencing. It doesn’t allow for queer voices to be heard at all let alone given meaning or weight in these discussions. As Menon stated in Beyond the Gender Binary “People’s fixation on “proper” grammar or “new terms” often hides a more sinister motive, even if it’s not conscious. They are ok with language shifting as long as it’s the people in power and not us.” Non genderqueer people are reluctant to do something as simple as respecting someone’s pronouns. It’s something they never have to worry about themselves but they still can’t extend that same social respect to others. Vanique in their content response said “Cis people defend the gender binary as if we are being erases from existence, when we are the ones doing the erasing. Too often cis gendered people flip the script and play victim, Alok talks about this in their book. Cis people need to decenter themselves and listen to other people for a change.” and I heavily agree. The behavior exhibited by cis people when the gender binary is challenged or is being actively dismantled is immature to say the least. We often pretend as if we are being threatened and harmed when we are being asked to simply give gender queer people the same protection and respect we were born with. However I don’t believe at this point that it’s entirely due to ignorance. The refusal to act with their privilege to positively benefit nonbinary people comes from a place of not wanting to relinquish power.