While I don’t have children of my own I see more harm than good when it comes to being always honest with kids. False promises is where I draw the line though. I can see why parents don’t talk about problems in their marriage with their kids, or tell them “grandma is just a little under the weather.” I think it’s okay to protect a child’s innocence as they grow up. There may be smarter and more mature children out there who are ready to hear about the harsh realities and that’s when you sit them down and have a discussion. There definitely should be a talk on lying as well and hope that your child does not use it for evil.
Bambara
Parents
In my opinion kids should know the truth until their old enough to understand certain things. They shouldn’t know the full truth either. I feel like parents should lie to their kids and tell them nice things. This is because everyone doesn’t always wanna hear bad things they also want to hear nice things so they can feel better about themselves. If parents tell their kids the truth but they should say in a nice way not in a brutal way that makes their kids feel like you don’t love them. Adults can teas kids but as long as the kids know how their family member is and knows that their all joking around and is comfortable within the environment their in. There’s certain occasions where the truth has to be told and there’s other occasions where its right to just shield their kids.
Parents
Parents and elders surrounding a child play a crucial role in shaping the behavior and perspective of the child towards issues as they grow up. The way the elders communicate with and around the children should promote and instill positive behavior in them by shaping and supporting them, particularly psychologically. Since it influences the child’s well-being and how they perceive their parents and other grownups that they encounter in their lives. Therefore, parents need to tell their children the truth irrespective of the message they are communicating since it would lead to the children trusting and respecting the elderly.
Parents have power over their children; they can control the children. However, while handling the children, it is critical to understand that the child is growing and what they are taught would shape them and even determine the kind of relationship they maintain with their families. For example, in the ‘Gorilla, My Love,’ hazel is disturbed by her uncle’s changing of names since she perceives it as an indication that her uncle has not been loyal to their familial relationship (Cornett, 2017). Highlighting that lying to children leads to them being cautious around their parents, and they tend to question whatever they tell them even if it is the truth since they fear that the parents might be lying to them. For example, hazel no longer trusts her uncle’s declaration of intentions to get married. Hence, she is left to question whether he will marry the woman he has shown them in a photo, indicating that telling children lies leads to them having trust issues, especially with the people who had lied to them.
Children implement what they are taught by the elders surrounding them, which is evidenced by hazel’s experience in the theater. She was taught that people should mean and implement what they say they will do; hence, she expects every person she comes across to act according to what they say. It indicates the relevance of parents telling children the truth and not lying to them since it is evident that children believe anything they are told, and they emulate the elders living with them. Consequently, if parents continuously lie to their children, it would lead to them developing a character of lying to others. Thus, the parents would be instilling bad moral values in the children by telling the truth.
Telling the children the truth is always critical since it helps them develop self-esteem. For example, hazel’s self-esteem is damaged by her uncle’s lie that he would marry her only to introduce a new woman he wants to settle in marriage with. Hazel feels betrayed, and her uncle belittles her worth, whom she perceives wants to replace her with a stranger (Waller‐Peterson, 2022, pp. 1-6). Therefore, telling the truth to the children helps them get used to it and build their esteem rather than having their strength and self-belief on lies.
In conclusion, although it is not always possible for the elders to tell the children the truth, especially on critical issues, the parents need to have a culture of telling their children the truth. Since it would help mold the children into being people who can be trusted as telling the truth leads to the children trusting their parents. Telling the truths by parents helps them strengthen thief relationships with their children, foster their self-esteem, and help in installing in them proper moral values.
Bambara topic 2
In my opinion, I believe kids should know the truth . But also they should approach it carefully that it doesn’t affect them or hurt them . It’s important for kids to know the truth from there parents because they would be able to resolve the problem with their parents rather then someone else. Even if the truth hurts it better than lying or hiding something from your own child. Kids should know everything about life because they when they are older than can know how to resolve their life issues .On top of that teasing kids is wrong because it doesn’t teach them anything and it will just aggravate them, and to me I would feel made fun of in a way.
Writing As Activism
Writing is still a viable form of activism for BIPOC today. I would say that it is more effective today than during Bambara’s time. There were few platforms for her to air her views. For instance, she could either write a book or go to the media. However, today, people can use many social platforms to call for change. It makes it easy for people to look to writers for empowerment. For example, after the death of George Floyd, people used social media platforms such as Twitter and Facebook to call out for injustice. The original author who initiated the campaign to ensure those who killed George Floyd were arrested empowered other people to re-tweet the matter until it became a global cry. Therefore, it is easy to empower people today through writing than in the past.
Discussion Post Topic 2
In my opinion parents should tell the truth to their children but also be cautious of what they do and say around them. Children can mimic their parents by saying things they say or do things that they do. Although I’ts okay for parents to tease when it comes to fun fictional kid stuff. Like Santa Clause, The tooth fairy, the monster in the closet can be fun things for kids to look forward to and to have that happy childhood nostalgia when they get older. But also things that doesn’t need to be hidden shouldn’t be necessary to hide from children. Just because they’re young should not mean that they should be hidden from the truth. Also when children are hidden from the truth it could make it worse and make them have a different point of view on things.
Activism Through Writing
I believe writing to be an ever-present form of empowerment and discovery of the self – activism being closely related regarding the change. Activism involves forming and maintaining practiced ideologies, whereas I believe that – to achieve a semblance of an ideal ideology – is easily reached through a practice of writing and reading. This messages has stuck with me when I happened across an image of a letter sent by Kurt Vonnegut, a writer, giving advice on the value of writing. His advice was clear in that practicing of the art of writing goes hand-in-hand with the growth of the soul when done with pure intent. The concept of “soul” may be abstract, but I find the evident growth to be imperative to the liberation needed for activism of BIPOC.
Parents
In my opinion, parents should always say what they mean. Children can be impressionable and mimic the actions around them. Being a child does not make them any less worthy of honesty, lying about little things for no reason or for the sake of “just teasin’” is unnecessary. However, it is understandable in some cases if their intentions are to create a sense of wonder and magic for example fictional stories and lies like Santa or the Easter bunny personally were fun for me as a child, even after eventually knowing it was just a story the feelings remained for a little while. It could be damaging to withhold too much, but damaging to tell children everything because some things are simply not appropriate. Ultimately I think one should use discretion because everyone is different and can handle different things.
Bambara
In my opinion, parents should be careful about how they speak around children. Children look up to their elders and they usually try to adapt their traits. Children are usually more sensitive when they’re younger which leads to parents needing to talk softish towards them. If parents want to explain how life can be unstable, they can do it slowly by explaining it in parts each day. This also leads to the “teasing” part, I feel like teasing can be used in a fun way, but it can get hurtful when it gets dragged out too long. Children that can handle a bit of teasing can also grow stronger when they become more mature and prepare for the real world. When I was growing up, I was told that honesty is super important, so I think that parents should always be straightforward, but in smaller parts for the children.
grownups
In Toni Cade Bambara’s novel Gorilla, My Love, she shows that Hazel dislikes the way grownups act and gets irritated when they don’t do what they say. Hazel ascribed considerably more weight and importance to remarks that were just passing comments to the grownups in her life. So, how cautious should parents and elders in households be when speaking around small children? Well, due to my own upbringing, I have mixed feelings about how honest parents should be with their children. From a young age, I was taught that honesty is the best policy, but I genuinely think that there are times when small lies are beneficial to children. Seeing as telling the truth could be harmful to their mental health, you must lie until they are old enough to handle the truth. Instances include marital issues, negative feelings about family or friends, personal problems, financial situations, and so on. Adults should constantly be conscious of the words they use in front of youngsters and they should also strive to see things from the child’s point of view. Now, I think it is okay to “tease” to some amount because not all teasing is harmful. It can be funny at times and even bonding. Teasing, on the other hand, can become bullying if it is repeated and intended to hurt. Thus, teasing children is not bad, but you must realize when you are going too far and endangering their growth. You must also recognize that they should be censored to some degree, but even that exposing them to the realities of life is also not a terrible thing.
