Marriage is supposed to be about love, and finding an authentic partnership that makes you happy and pushes you to be your best self. Though it must be important to understand your reasons for getting married, and if they are correct or not. We see this in the Chekhov play, as people might choose to marry for the wrong reasons like money, or status. This leads to many consequences down the line no matter how much money is on the table or how many gifts. Marriage should always be about finding common ground and communication and love between two people, and that should always be the deciding factor.
Drama
Marriage Proposal
The article mentions about symbolic gendering due to the fact that women also want equal rights as men. But men are also expected to do what are men things. Such as proposing to their significant other. Men at a young age have to go with the concept of being a “Man”. That means hiding their feelings and not showing it or talking about it. When women are in the moment of the proposal they feel like their forced to say yes to avoid the awkward situation or the fact that the guy is going to feel humiliated. Women feel like if they was to say no it would mean that the relationship can either be over or not when all she means is that she isnt ready to take those big steps. When men proposes to their significant other, she expects a big proposal to post all over social media and show it out to the public but men on the other hand dont care about the big guesters nut they do it to satisfy and make their wife happy.
Marriage Proposal
There is a lot of pressure to have extravagant proposals nowadays from social media and TV shows. There are some people who rush to have that big proposal moment to show and tell everyone without taking the responsibilities of marriage into consideration. Chekov shows that marriage proposals are sometimes just for the materialistic part of it instead of it being one of the biggest life decision someone could make. I think that is true, but I also think that there are some people who are starting to ignore the pressure of having the perfect proposal. There are some proposals that are lowkey and are taken into a lot of consideration, and sometimes the woman is the one that proposes instead the guy in the relationship.
The Proposal
Chekov thinks marriage proposals should just be to increase wealth and the decision should be made between the father and the man proposing. The action of Lomov going to Chubukov for his blessing is just about the men making the decision to propose. Natalya had no part in this decision for her and her future. In current media men do the gesture of asking the father out of respect or the mother if the father isn’t in the picture. Afterwards they plan this elaborate extravagant proposal and contract photographers to get pictures of the moment. There is a lot of emphasis on the ring to be big too because men know that is what women want and care about, they don’t do it for themselves.
Natalya was a bit assertive in the play when she was arguing about oxen meadows. Her assertiveness is a way of stepping out of the idea of “symbolic gendering”, around that time women didn’t really go against men. In current media “Symbolic Gendering” is seen in modern dating. Although we do want equal amount of effort in relationships, more often than not we always wait for the man to make the first move to attain contact information when out in public. Same goes for dates we always wait on the man to propose to take us out on a date first instead of just asking them out on a date. In the media and todays society for women to make the first move first is embarrasing and isn’t our place to show interest first.
Marriage proposals are being reexamined and challenged at this time. Women are standing up to this because we are always being pressured to get married. Society tell us we aren’t women until we have a husband and even children. The modern day woman wants more to life than just marriage, they want stable and respected careers. Many want to take charge and prove this antiquated gender roles wrong and be in the place of the man. The perfect proposal is subjective to the woman in these cases though, because even if tradition is out and challenging it is in, many woman grew up wanting the romantic gesture. Everyone is different and wants different things but traditions shouldn’t be the normal at this time.
Marriage proposal
Marriage proposals are when two people fall in love and have a healthy relationship in where they are ready to take their next step. In Chekovs play he shows us how people take advantage of each other for money. Rather than falling for somebody for the way they are they fall in love with gifts that are expensive . To me it’s wrong because money doesn’t buy you happiness and it’s like using someone just because you can’t afford those gifts. And the fact that it’s a big step in life and to not love each other for who they are is wrong. What I think should happen is for men to buy cheap gifts or no gifts and speak to each other and get to know each other better because it’s one of the key of love . At least it will make some ladies not be spoiled by gifts that they can’t afford.
PLAY
A play where “a child discovers the adults in their life were “just teasing” about serious things”
By
Nahidur Rahman
May 17, 2022
CHARACTERS
jANE: 32, a single parent, JAMES’ mother.
james: 8, lives with her single Mother, Jane but he rarely sees the father.
Joan: 35, JAMES’ aunt.
Lance: 41, JAMES’ uncle.
Time/setting
JANE is with her son in midafternoon. It is summer and the environment is absolutely shiny and hot outside.
PLACE/setting
JANE is at home in the urban, New York City in the United States of America and she is struggling to engage her son JAMES in the home activities in preparation for visitors. Dirty utensils are packed in a large bucket, raw food and ingredients such as onions, tomatoes, cabbages, cooking oil, rice, and others are carelessly put in the kitchen without any plan. The kitchen has the feel of a dormant place where things rarely occur.
Act I, Scene 1-
(JANE is in the kitchen trying to arrange items in order. She is touching on the dirty utensils when JAMES passes by the kitchen door.)
Jane:
JAMES! JAMES! JAMES…! JAMES! Please come and help me perform a few tasks here. Right?
(JANE moves near the door and checks whether JAMES is responding positively. When JAMES notices the mother is following him, he leaves everything and moves towards the mother.)
JAMES:
Yes mum. I am here. Tell me now.
(JANE takes one clean bucket and directs JAMES about what he wants.)
Jane:
wash the utensils I put in the sink and put them in that basin.
(JAMES becomes unhappy about the idea. He does not say anything but he stares at his mother angrily.
JAMES:
Mmm. Okay.
JANE:
(JANE looks at JAMES and notices he is very relaxed in doing the task.)
Wash faster. We have very little time for our visitors to arrive. You know it is almost —
JAMES:
- But mum I don’t know how to wash. You will still complain like last time.
(JANE becomes angry about JAMES’ responses.)
JANE:
Can you stop arguments and do what I am telling you? Work the way you eat every —
JAMES:
-Surely. Really? Is eating something to abuse your son!
JANE:
That isn’t abuse. It is reality.
(Jane and james engage in deep argument and their voices rise to become louder and every party seems to leave the tasks for a while.)
JAMES:
why — why all these to me?
(JAMES starts to cry, JANE stops talking, and continues with the task.)
JANE:
You don’t want to work just arguing but very lazy like your father.
(JAMES becomes angrier and cries louder.)
JAMES:
Which father? — Where is he —?
JANE:
Whom are you asking? Go look for him.
(JAMES seems very upset about JANE and he cries loudly and struggles to push himself outside.)
Act I,Scene 2-
(The mother follows JAMES to bring him back in the kitchen but meets JOAN and LANCE entering the compound. JOAN and LANCE are shocked about the chaotic environment. LANCE holds JAMES’ hand and attempts to soothe him to be silent. Shocked about the coincidence with her eyes bulging but assuming everything about JAMES, JANE direct visitors in the house.)
(JANE enters first then points at the three-seater chair)
Lance:
JAMES, stop it! I thought you were waiting for us — you wanted to see us after a long time.
(Everybody’s attention is directed to JAMES)
JOAN:
-And we are finally here. You need to be happy.
(JANE tries to force herself to smile.)
JANE:
He has disturbed me like his father —. Since —
Lance:
(LANCE nodding his head and shaking his hand in the air.)
No! NO! No! It is not good to talk about ill things before children of this age.
(JANE and JOAN become too eager to listen to his elaboration.)
JOAN:
How –? He need to know so that he don’t —
JANE:
-Yeah. I think it is important.
Lance:
Remember, chances of a child absorbing a statement that will remain in their heads until adulthood are significantly high.
(JAMES stops to cry and raises his head with the feeling that he has got a supporter.)
JOAN:
(Holds JAMES’ head gently.)
But JAMES is a male. He must understand how to be responsible. Life is not —
JANE:
-I have struggled with him since morning. He doesn’t want to do anything. Just playing! … Playing! … and playing!.
Lance:
I understand he needs to learn. But … like a child. Slowly but consistently.
(JANE puts her hands together and hangs them below the stomach as a sign of respect for LANCE’s advice.)
JANE:
(JOAN takes JAMES from LANCE)
I will try to teach. But teaching is fairly hard.
JOAN:
Remember you are the one to help mum with everything. Right. You are your mom’s first helper at all times. Always –
JANE:
-Yeah. But he rarely … or he doesn’t help. When I look at my kitchen —
JOan:
-What is in the kitchen? Food? It must be ready by now.
(joan peeps in the kitchen and sits down faster feeling astonished.)
LANCE:
I’m happy that I can demonstrate how to work with this boy without making remarks that are likely to yield defiance when he grows up by telling him the truth.
(LANCE heads to the kitchen holding JAMES’ hand while JANE and JOAN follow him eager to learn. LANCE assigns chores to everyone present and they perform duties happily and laugh together. JAMES becomes very happy and active during the action.)
END OF SCENE 2
The End
Marriage Proposal
Marriage proposals can be very problematic, as shown in the play “Marriage Proposal” by Anton Chekov. I’ve seen a lot of marriage proposal on social media and majority of it are focused on the expensive rings, fancy cakes, etc. In today’s society, it kinda show that people focuses more on the value and pictures instead of romance. The outdated proposals rule will always be there, but their will be more up to date version of proposals. Maybe in the future women would be the one propisng men. I think that the main key to a marriage proposal would be communication.
Marriage Proposal
Marriage proposals are such a tricky thing to discuss, I could go on all day. Being from the South, people tend to get married very early in life (late teens to early twenties) so I’ve already seen an array of marriage proposals with my peers. Also, because it is the South, things tend to lean towards more traditions like asking the father, like we saw in Chekov’s play. Not to mention the pressure that social media has added to these events. I sometimes cannot believe my eyes when I see the over the top extravaganza that has been arranged. When I moved to New York City, it was an entirely new world. While there were still those assumed gender roles in most proposals, it felt a lot more like the two people in the relationship were equals with women proposing to their boyfriends. I was shocked seeing so many more sentimental proposals than showy ones as well. Of course, this is all from my own personal experience but I think that people are (very) slowly moving towards more progressive proposals but I always think there will be at least a glimmer of the seemingly outdated proposal rules.
CHEKOV: Marriage proposal
Marriage proposals can be ludicrous and defiant at times, as Anton Chekov’s play “Marriage Proposals” shows and concludes. Unfortunately, we live in a society where marriage is more focused on images or materialistic objects than on affection and consideration. Furthermore, nowadays, choosing rings, proposing, and having everything appear great for photos is more of a man’s obligation than making it feel heartfelt based on what the lady wants. I feel that communication is essential in every relationship, and that marriage should be considered first, with the couple deciding on how to propose. He explains how, regardless of their reasons or circumstances, people would rather be proposed to than hash out their issues and put them behind them.
Marriage Proposals
While Chekov is a playwright – in and of itself – the very act of a proposal is to perform a play of sorts, making “The Proposal” very much like a play of a play. Within the story of “The Proposal”, the superficial courting of two neighbors occurs with formality and a lack of mutual love – not unlike some of the marriages of today.
Caroline Kitchener expresses in an article the lack of need of “overemphasized” procedures that goes into marriage proposals which engender the principle of “symbolic gendering” – which calls for the traditional actions of gender in the lack of in present societies. This symbolic gender can be found in every action that one assumes “that is what a women/man ought to do”, as presented in even Chekov’s drama when Lomov ask for Chubukov’s consent to propose to Natalya – the asking of consent from the other party’s parents being a procedural act of symbolic gendering. Lomov’s traditional actions is alike to the present day act of “prom-posals”, both endearing the roles of female and male in a otherwise equal relationship.
I believe “The Proposal” is far-sighted in the matters of symbolic gendering in Chekov’s time and far into the future as the concepts within present in the current day. While the roles of men and women were very different in the past, the similarities between Lomov and Natalya – through their speech and actions – are so alike to the progressed modern day equality that they reinforce the absurdities of gender roles and the necessary critique of symbolic acts of gender.
