Chekov thinks marriage proposals should just be to increase wealth and the decision should be made between the father and the man proposing. The action of Lomov going to Chubukov for his blessing is just about the men making the decision to propose. Natalya had no part in this decision for her and her future. In current media men do the gesture of asking the father out of respect or the mother if the father isn’t in the picture. Afterwards they plan this elaborate extravagant proposal and contract photographers to get pictures of the moment. There is a lot of emphasis on the ring to be big too because men know that is what women want and care about, they don’t do it for themselves.
Natalya was a bit assertive in the play when she was arguing about oxen meadows. Her assertiveness is a way of stepping out of the idea of “symbolic gendering”, around that time women didn’t really go against men. In current media “Symbolic Gendering” is seen in modern dating. Although we do want equal amount of effort in relationships, more often than not we always wait for the man to make the first move to attain contact information when out in public. Same goes for dates we always wait on the man to propose to take us out on a date first instead of just asking them out on a date. In the media and todays society for women to make the first move first is embarrasing and isn’t our place to show interest first.
Marriage proposals are being reexamined and challenged at this time. Women are standing up to this because we are always being pressured to get married. Society tell us we aren’t women until we have a husband and even children. The modern day woman wants more to life than just marriage, they want stable and respected careers. Many want to take charge and prove this antiquated gender roles wrong and be in the place of the man. The perfect proposal is subjective to the woman in these cases though, because even if tradition is out and challenging it is in, many woman grew up wanting the romantic gesture. Everyone is different and wants different things but traditions shouldn’t be the normal at this time.
