Lili Mei – Conversation 1

Once we read “Proficiency”, I think we can relate to Shannon Nichols’s story since there have been many times when we were passionate about something. Still, after something failed or didn’t go as we thought, we started to doubt our abilities and skills and think to ourselves “Was I ever really good at this?”. In the end, we just decided to give up on that and forget about it, some might regret it, and some might like to share their story, just like Shannon Nichols did.

How does the author feel about her writing abilities?

In the beginning, she felt somehow confident in passing not only the writing part but the whole standardized test, as she says “I was smart and I knew it”. She was quite skilled and enjoyed writing, and didn’t believe she had only failed that part, mentioning how “-she- was good at it, and -she- enjoyed it”. However, after she failed the standardized test, she not only decided to quit trying so hard, she “began to hate writing” and “started to doubt -herself-“, thanks to this, her feelings towards writing shifted, and she no longer liked or enjoyed writing.

Retell the author’s journey as a writer.

The author has always been a skilled writer, had good grades, was on the honor roll, and was generally an A-student, not only was she confident she would do good on a writing assignment but she was also keen about it, thinking it was one of her strengths. That is until she had to take a standardized test required by 8th graders and failed the writing segment, she couldn’t believe it and started to wonder if she was a good writer; she still decided to go for a second try at the test, and yet, she failed again on the same section, and by this time, she no longer felt the same love she had for writing, nonetheless, she was still somehow confident that her writing skills were good. Unfortunately, she stopped taking English seriously and abandoned anything related to writing, as stated: “I never again felt the same love of reading and writing.” 

If you were Mrs. Brown, the author’s English teacher, what would you say when the author asked: “How can I get A’s in all my English classes but fail the writing part of the proficiency test twice?”

If I were Mrs. Brown, I would have told her “The tests aren’t exactly about how well you do in class, rather, it’s about how you understand and decide to answer their questions. But, at the same time, writing could be subjective, some might not like it and others will like it; you don’t have to measure your talent by a generalized test, it doesn’t define you as a writer. You could always try other study methods, and talk to other professors and classmates who have taken the test to know what you could do differently.”

Has there been a time in your life when you doubted your abilities as a writer or in general? Explain.

I have had lots of times where I have doubted my abilities, especially after someone tells me that I am not fit to do something or seeing someone do something totally different from how I pictured. Then I remember that there are things that could be subjective, you don’t always have to listen to what others have to say about your own skills, as long as you enjoy it and you know you’re fit for it. I’ve taken a few tests where they grade my writing and usually overthink it, but I end up doing well because I trust my abilities and I know what I am capable of.

How do you feel about your writing abilities?

I feel quite confident about it, although I’m not the best and still have some mistakes here and there, when I need to, I think I could make pretty decent writing work; however, I usually struggle to start any written text. Just like the author, I could easily lose motivation by something like a test, but I always try to not give up that easily.