The author feels very confident about her writing abilities at the beginning of the story and she had every reason to be. “I was a strong student, always on the honor roll. I never had a GPA below 3.0. I was smart, and I knew it.” You can see the self-assuredness in her words. Her attitude does change after she takes the 9th grade standardized test. She passed every subject except for writing which comes as a shock to her. She got A’s on all of her papers, how could she fail while other students who were less advanced then her had been able to pass without any issue? When she asks her teacher and fellow classmates how she could have failed, they aren’t able to give her a reason either. They’re just as dumbfounded as she was. After failing the proficiency test a second time, the author’s disillusionment with her writing reaches a breaking point and she stops trying in English altogether.
I do feel confident in my abilities as a writer. Like the author, I took standardized tests in high school but for whatever reason, was never given my results on the writing section. I do wonder, if I had seen my results, would I have had a similar experience with losing my motivation to write. That isn’t to say I don’t relate to the author, though I might consider it a bit more of a dramatic situation. Before I was at BMCC I was put on academic probation and eventually suspended because of my grades at my previous college. After that happened, I was extremely doubtful in my academic abilities because it felt like despite trying as hard as I could at the time, I didn’t receive the results I wanted. Luckily, I was able to work through that doubt and am here now.
One thought on “Gabriel Oshman-Conversation 1”
I like the choice of words you used for describing the author’s insecurity in her writing, it really droves the point across that it was silly of her to ever question her writing. It’s common to have these academic struggles, I’ve heard from friends who are more than of capable of achieving greatness having this same problem. I believe it’s more of a curriculum structure issues these institutions have than the actual student. I’m very happy to hear that despite the obsectles you faced, you’re still carrying hope and confidence.