Summary
Cult: The Culture of Slothfulness
Leader: I Emanuel will serve as the Grand Sloth, Supreme Slacker, and Supreme Lord of Laziness!
Interest: Mastering the skill of doing absolutely nothing. A cult oriented to the pursuit of peace and laziness.
Benefits: In the faith we follow, you'll uncover the ancient unknowns of reclining, sleeping, and putting off homework. We have executed the art of relaxing to the highest levels.
Rules:
1.Thou shalt take naps daily.
2.Thou shalt refrain from unnecessary physical activity.
3.During designated sleep hours, the cult's sleeping quarters must remain quiet and peaceful to ensure uninterrupted rest for all members.
4. Before bedtime, members must engage in calming rituals to prepare their minds and bodies for sleep.
5.Members should prioritize getting enough sleep each night, aiming for at least 8 hours of restful sleep. Napping is encouraged during the day.
Cult Location: Our sanctuary shall be in Lazy Turks and Caicos, where hammocks sway gently in the breeze, and the sun always shines just enough to warm your skin without making you uncomfortable.
Recruitment: We shall recruit followers through subtle messaging, such as leaving flyers in coffee shops with slogans like, "Why work when you can nap?" We'll also organize "Sloth Sundays" where we gather in beaches to demonstrate the beauty of doing nothing.
Why Join? Because life is too short to waste on being productive! Our cult delivers true freedom from the relentless hustle and bustle of modern society. Join us, and we will celebrate the glory of doing absolutely nothing!
2 thoughts on “Conversation 4: Cults”
Wow! I’m not sure if I’d join your cult Emmanuel, because I’m a little bit of an overachiever but it’s very creative. It could be convincing for someone who feels like they’ve achieved everything already and need a change. Maybe you can conduct an experiment (with the flyers) to recruit people to find out if it’ll actually work.
I like your cult and would like to be a member. I like to sleep. People tend to discard it. Sleep and being lazy sometimes is really important for your body.However I think I will join your cult after being rich. Being broke and lazy at the same time is not really fun.