The Latino community is an important and large minority group in America and rapidly growing. And this growth also means there are a lot of Latinos in school and the effect schools have on young Latinos at an early age is important. And since we are in America where Latino families tried their hardest to get into this country to get a better life not only for them but for the next generations their kids would have a great education and the hope is they will be smarter than they make better decisions have a better opportunity something Latino kids hear all the time and something we all can connect with since we heard it a lot growing up. This is the land of opportunity, but the problem is the opportunity is not equal because the education we get varies depending on where we live and our status in this country. And that’s what this essay is about the literary problems that Latino go through in the American school system.
Getting a good education is what Latino parents try to give their kids. They work long hours while raising their kids to give them the best chance they can. If they cannot afford a good school, they hope that the public school system will help their child progress in life. But it sadly comes with its difficulties. The public school system in low-income communities is not the best-funded education. I’m not saying you can’t succeed in the public school system; I’m saying it’s difficult for Latino kids. I cannot speak for all Latino kids and teenagers, but I know there are kids that struggle with the school system and as someone who is from the Latin community, I know I had to deal with being raised learning two different languages at the same time. English at school and Spanish at home as a kid I had to learn two different ways to communicate. I was lucky enough that my mother spoke both, so she helped me. Everything was in English at school and learning to read and write was a challenge or even speaking because sometimes you know a certain word in Spanish but not in English or reverse and it makes you less confident to speak because of awkward pauses trying to find the right words. Also, there are Latino kids that don’t speak English and just speak Spanish. They were never taught English and go to school and have no idea what they are doing or what’s being said in the class, and they need extra help, tutoring, or help with homework. Public schools resources are low, especially in a low-income community and this is where I say education varies because depending on where you live and your status you will either get the help and attention your child deserves or the bare minimum which leads to Latino kids falling behind other kids and having to make the climb back up to get in the same level of literacy as their classmates. The notion that schools must be English only hurts Latinos in America because you must try to understand this language as best as you can by yourself if you have no help. If you do, then you are already in a better position than most Latinos in America. As I said I was lucky enough to have my mom to help me balance the two languages, but I also know through her experience the difficulties she had coming to America so late in her life and not speaking English and only Spanish and having to go to school where at her age everyone in her class knows English and she is starting from zero. And she went to public school because we were poor. But then you might say times are different now there are Latino teachers that speak Spanish and can help students even more. And yes, you are right, but does that change the fact that “Latino students in a bilingual program outperform their Latino peers in English only teaching” stated by Patricia Gandara in “The Potential and Promise of Latino Students”. This is a better way to educate Latinos in school, but it does not happen in public schools in poor communities there is no effort being pushed the lack of resource in public schools for the poor community do not help give Latino a good opportunity to succeed it hurt their literacy in life because how easy they fall behind in school. And Latino kids just give up on the school system because it does not help them with their problem, it just forces them to learn it or get left behind.
2 thoughts on “Ryan Breton Essay Draft”
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Explain.
talk about literary(did you mean literacy?) problems that Latino go through in the American school system.
Does the author describe their research methods? Explain.
cites from the article “The Potential and Promise of Latino Students” by Patricia Gandara
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Explain.
The U.S. is the land of opportunity, but opportunity is not equal because of the education we get, it varies depending on where we live and our status in this country.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Explain.
the author needs more relevant evidence, such as statistics or Latino students’ personal experiences in the U.S. school system.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Explain.
the author somewhat interprets relevant evidence.
Does the author reference at least one course material? Explain.
yes, “The Potential and Promise of Latino Students” by Patricia Gandara
Is the essay well-organized? Explain.
the organization of the essay can be improved by breaking it into paragraphs. (such as the first paragraph mentions the author’s personal experience in the U.S. school system, second paragraph the author starts to talk about how other Latinos have been affected by the U.S. school system.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Explain.
most of the sentences are long and need to be broken into smaller sentences by using comas.
(Public schools’ resources are low, especially in low-income communities. This is where I say education varies depending on where you live, and your status. You will either get the help and attention your child deserves or the bare minimum. This leads to Latino kids falling behind other kids and having to make the climb back up to get to the same level of literacy as their classmates.) this is the way I would approach it however the idea that the author was trying to tell was not this. making sentences shorter can help read the essay easier since you have some breaks between each sentence and understand an idea at a time.
What are the strengths of this draft? Explain.
the author gives a clear idea of what the essay is going to be about.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
while I was reading this essay I read things that I could relate to( or even speaking because sometimes you know a certain word in Spanish but not in English or reverse and it makes you less confident to speak because of awkward pauses trying to find the right words). It is true that the author cannot speak for all Latino kids and teenagers, however, the author can look up some statistics about the academic performance of Latino students( I recommend using google scholar for more accurate and reliable information, although a gov website works as well).
Lastly, some sentences are very long and can be broken into shorter sentences, I recommend using Grammarly or writing the essay in Microsoft word, it will help break down sentences.
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Explain.
Yes, it seems like it is about showing the inequalities that Latino kids face in school and how it is unfair.
Does the author describe their research methods? Explain.
It seems like the research methods are based on personal experience and observing classmates/friends.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Explain.
Yes, the central idea is the literary problems that Latino go through in the American school system.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Explain.
I think so. A lot of it is personal and observed, which I think makes it more meaningful and based in reality, but it is less like a traditional research essay evidence, although there is some reference to another article.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Explain.
Yes, by explaining how his life and classmates’ was influenced.
Does the author reference at least one course material? Explain.
Yes, but I am having trouble figuring out where some of the information is coming from in the middle of the essay.
Is the essay well-organized? Explain.
I think it could be broken up a bit more to organize it and make it easier to read. I think also adding a clear conclusion would be good.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Explain.
I think that some of the essay can be revised to make it flow better and grammatically correct, like in the first paragraph “And that’s what this essay is about the literary problems…” I think you could just say something like, “Latinos experience problems with the American school system that impacts their literacy” to make it go with the rest of the writing.
What are the strengths of this draft? Explain.
Personal experience makes it a lot stronger than just referencing many random articles.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
I would suggest citing some more sources earlier on instead of just at the end if you are using other sources.