“Sex & Gender 101” by Kyl Myers was very captivating and insightful for me. Biological sex is something we all are taught from birth. Kyl Myers breaks everything down about sex chromosomes, intersex, and hormones. I’ve recently watched a podcast on youtube about someone who was born intersex, prior to that I didn’t know what an intersex was. In the video, Roshaante Andersen was born intersex growing up his family dressed him as a female, and once he got older is when he realized he identifies as a male. For me growing up in a traditional older Dominican and Jamaican household there wasn’t a gender talk, it’s either you are a male or female from birth. Once I was 16 years old I met a young man at the time who was gay, he was in the process of transitioning to female. Aubrey and I were always good friends and I choose to support my friend, she taught us a lot about the process she had to go through to feel content in her skin finally. Aubrey always explained that prior to transitioning she felt like she was trapped in a stranger’s body. That was the first time had the chance to experience gender identity.
Gender pronouns are something I’ve been working on in my personal life, I’m used to the pronouns He/Him/His and She/Her/Hers. They/ Them are gender pronouns I have always heard of but I never met anyone you used them. The first time I met someone who uses The/Them pronouns was last winter while I was a Training Lead at Apple. I wanted to be inclusive and respect their pronouns but I did struggle at first with the use of They/Them pronouns, it’s like my brain was seeing something in front of me so naturally, I was referring to them by how they looked. I never wanted to offend them so anytime I did mess up their pro nouns I would apologize immediately. Gender expression is literally the biggest label maker for us. People will automatically make assumptions about your gender and sexuality based on how you are dressed. There are days when I’m “girly” and other days when I like to be more comfortable and will put on a sweatsuit and sneakers. I remember one time I had on a sweatsuit and sneakers a boy was trying to get my attention while I was in the store waiting for my sandwich, I was ignoring him because I wasn’t interested. The boy kept trying to get my attention then his friend says ” Bro that’s a dyke that’s why she ain’t paying you mind, she doesn’t want what you got”, I was so shocked to be labeled a “dyke” because I wasn’t interested and the way I was dressed.
Prior to reading “Feminism Is For Everybody – Passionate Politics” by Bell Hooks, I thought feminism was women who support women only. I did think it was anti-male and all about women’s empowerment. Bell Hooks let me know what feminism really means, to be a feminist you want equality for ALL! When I learned that there is a such thing as a sexist woman, it did remind me of one of my aunts. I thought she was the way she was because of our culture, she often made comments that a woman is supposed to be taken care of, a man is supposed to work and bring home the money while we women are only supposed to be kept women. I knew I wanted more for myself than just be the “trophy wife” as she would call it.
