Yvette Torres Valera

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100 -1300

What it means to move beyond the gender binary for Alok as a non-conforming and transfeminine are opening up about expressing yourself and self-discovering yourself based on how you grow and want to change the future for the better of acceptance. Alok talks about personal experience dealing with people who weren’t open about gender and the risk of violence occurring based on how others see you and accept you and miscommunication and education. Alok talks about the difference between tolerance and Acceptance within gender in this case non-conforming people. To exemplify,” Tolerance is always about maintaining distance: “This is about something over there that docent concern me.”Acceptance, on the other hand, is about integrating differences into your own life:” This is something that I am part of and I need to learn more to better help”(page 43). I found this interesting because it is true in all aspects because in order to move beyond the gender binary we have to accept more than just the two gender binary ways. Aloks furthers in on biological views of sex and questions people have and answers them which shows if you actually want to learn and be supportive there is no harm in educating yourself. The way my gender identity fits the binary norms is by associating myself as a woman who was born as a female I like to be called she/her. The way I wouldn’t fit in the binary norms I believe is not being entirely straight but a bisexual female who likes men and women or any gender I guess In binary norms that would be against it I believe.

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 3 & Reading Reflection 2

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

Alok is a transfeminine writer and artist who made an expression known to all the agony, shame, and persecution trying to come to a place of peace and acceptance in a society like ours. What I mean by ours is the sentiment people share even at the federal level department of justice denying them their civil rights. It discusses the significance of acceptance and nonbinary identities in society. Learning about gender is difficult for me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to do so, and reading Alok Beyond the Gender Binary highlights how uninformed I have been.

First of all, we are all human, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of gender identity. As a student teacher, one of the ways I have chosen to be accommodating and sensitive to all children is to construct a curriculum around the theme “everyone is different and unique,” exposing them to various family structures like two moms, two dads, a mom and dad, a single mom, or a single dad. Regardless of one’s appearance, beliefs, or choices, everyone deserves respect. Everyone can find a place in the world and no gender is superior to the other.

As a Nigerian Yoruba child, my experience is different and I believe there should be no hierarchy in terms of gender. With the establishment of the “patriarchy”, colonization might have brought about gender variance. For instance, in Yoruba culture, the birth of a child is celebrated the same and not associated with colors or pronouns compared to western culture which does gender review at baby showers. Although the Yoruba culture is complex, it is gender friendly and there is equality. No child is superior to another and power is not always related to gender. Compared to the English language Yoruba has no particular pronoun. for example, the word’ “IWO,” refers to female or male, and “AWON” can be used as singular and at the same used as a sign of respect for elders and could be male or female.

Alok finds it challenging to transcend the gender binary because of the obvious violence, discrimination, and persecution he experiences as a non-conforming gender. It is not an illness or a lack, according to Alok, but rather a creativity in diversity and respect for everyone. Alok says, “I still can’t walk outside without being terrified for my safety.” They had to deal with maltreatment, aggression, neglect, and excruciating medical conditions due to not being a typical male or female (41).

In addition, everyone should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they feel most comfortable, whether that be through “gender binary”, “revolutionary” “reformist feminism”, or “non-conforming gender”. By promoting the rights of all genders and equality for all, we can all work toward building a healthy society. It is not worth it to discriminate against, kill, or harm trans and gender nonconforming persons, especially black transfeminine women (Alok pg. 16).

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

Gender is an emotion for me, and I can pick how I want to display myself. I don’t mind being referred to as they/them/theirs as well as she/her/hers. Most of the time, I don’t act in a way that is consistent with my “assumed gender,” therefore some may claim that I defy the binary norm. For instance, even though I dress in a “girlish way,” despite having a feminine appearance, my favorite color is brown, I adore my polo shirts and jeans, I enjoy getting my hair cut, and I like to wear shoes to dinners and parties. If earning a living while avoiding household duties qualifies as being “masculine,” then I am. However, it should be noted that gender identity is distinct from biological sex. I might fall into the “binary norm” due to physical characteristics like my breasts, painted nails, and lip gloss, but I do not identify as any of those; I am in the middle. But I’m learning more about gender, particularly about genders that aren’t like mine, and I’m also creating a space where others can discuss their gender roles.

Lastly, I believe that the “patriarchy” should be held accountable for the pervasive inequity we currently experience rather than a conflict or disagreement between genders alone.

To move beyond the gender binary for Alok is to look beneath the surface of what the eye can see. While reading Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok he describes what is the ” norm” for people who are gender fluid. Looking through the lens of Alok I was able to understand there isn’t just man and woman but instead wherever you feel comfortable. For me that’s how I live my life as well I’m very open-minded and accepting of those around me. I believe my acceptance came from being rejected for my sexuality I never would want someone else to feel that way. I recently met someone who is gender fluid and uses they/them pronouns. It was hard for me at first to not misgender them but to use their born-gender pronouns. It was as if my mind was seeing one thing but my mind knew the proper way of identifying who was standing in front of me. We all have to teach ourselves to accept someone for their are is a genius action and not just a tolerable action. Many will say I accept but behind closed doors, their face will be misgendered or confused, and not try to find understanding. Gender is the shell we live in but we don’t have to confirm this shell. Our shells that we are born in can be designed in any way we want that makes us happy.

I identify as a cisgender female, but I may not be everyone’s typical cisgender female. I’m into fashion so my fashion isn’t just what people will call ” girly style”. I will label myself a sneakerhead with a twist, what that means is the majority of the time I will have on the latest sneakers and will only wear heels for a dinner. My best friend always makes a joke that I have testosterone in my body because I don’t like the typical girly styles much. It hasn’t offended me when he has said that to me because I know he accepts e for me. You will rarely see me in many prints I prefer black, natural tones, and subtle tones in my clothes of choice. I can’t even say I own a polka dot, stripes, or floral print shirt like “cisgender females” have. I prefer to look fashionable and usually go against my gender identity that way. I do fit my gender binary norm because I’m very into my looks as well. My nails, eyelashes, and eyebrows are always done, I love to look nice and give myself that “feminine” look at all times. I have enhanced my feminine side as well my getting certain plastic surgeries done to feel comfortable in my skin.

When reading the sections of this book, I find it very interesting that Alok answers questions i’ve asked myself quietly in my mind be answered. Additionally, some of the comments that are made that may sound ridiculous but 100% real to face. In some I realize I am still not fully aware of all the meaning behind it and I am open and willing to learn.

In my opinion, I allow others to choose what they want with their lives. If someone approaches me and communicates with me “hey, this is my name and this is what I would like to be referred as” then who am I to decide not to? It’s basic manners and respect.. We all are aware that we have reached a time in generations where we will face differences in our everyday encounters. In this reading, I understand that it is more than just tolerance but acceptance that is wanted and deserved. Gender is about self-expression and should not be something an individual is categorized by.

If I have accepted to refer to myself as a female, therefore a cisgender woman. Does that stop me from deciding to wear a suit and tie for a family event, work out until I have big biceps, grow a mustache, and have a love for racecars? Absolutely not! Why? Because those are considered hobbies and preferences that should not be correlated to any gender but unfortunately we live in a society that connects those.

When mentioned that skirts are comfortable in the summer time…AGREED! Now who is socially acceptable to be seen in one? If you think of an answer other than ANYONE! Then we start to think…. what is the problem?

I agree that unfortunately, we are still following certain things out of habits and choosing to follow “norms” … but what really makes anything “normal”

People should be allowed to be people without being put into boxes based off, well, ANYTHING. Including having to choose a gender. And having to pick “non-binary” is sill forcing a labeled box. Aloke states “The best way to eliminate a group it to demonize them, such that their disappearance is seen as an act of justice, not discrimination” BOOM. yes.