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Alok defines moving beyond the gender binary as adopting a fluid perspective on gender. Being able to realize that gender is on a spectrum and that external and internal characteristics aren’t always presented within the realm of “normalcy” (men who present masculine and women who present feminine) is what moving beyond that binary means. One significant thing I gathered from the text was Alok’s explanation of what really matters when it comes to gender: comfort. No matter how “weird” and “different” your identity may be to other people, comfort in your own skin matters the most. This is why I find it ridiculous when prejudice occurs against trans people for instance. What matters is that they are comfortable and this type of treatment is degrading and implies that people who stay ignorant and transphobic do not see them as humans.  

I identify as cisgender and use she/her pronouns. In this way, I do not go against the gender binary as I am comfortable with my assigned gender at birth. On a smaller scale, I have certain characteristics and aspects of my personality/way I present myself that some people consider masculine. In another way, I also identify as bisexual, which goes against the gender binary. This is because someone who fits the norm presents as female, and uses she/her, would also fit the norm by being straight which I am not. I would say that I also FEEL masculine on certain days and feminine on others. To feel more comfortable with these experiences, I find that dressing accordingly helps me feel closer to that identity/side of myself. 

• In what ways do you experience privilege?

I experienced privilege in life when I looked for a job at age 24 in New York. I didn’t speak English, I didn’t have any experience, and I would just walk from restaurant to restaurant asking if I can be a hostess or a waitress. I was hired , even though there were American college graduate students and a woman of color next to me. I was shocked. One of my friends with a black associated name told me my name sounds white so my resume might be picked up before someone else’s. I felt horrible but it was a privilege I didn’t know was attached to me. I also recognized how privileged I was in The United States because of my European education and how much my parents invested in me. To be raised by both parents is a huge privilege !I was very privileged as an emigrant, even though I had to struggle to fit in and adjust to my new life. 

• In what ways do you experience oppression?

I felt oppressed being harassed by older men trying to be too friendly with me. My mother taught me to speak up in situations like that so I did many times. Men would approach me often in many ways, and I never felt comfortable, and I would be scared. So I was insulting and unpleasant to them. I felt oppressed at home because I was raised with three brothers, and they were the solid structure of the family in the conversations. If they had good grades, they would be praised for intelligence and awarded. If I would get good grades, I will be a girl who studies well as every girl should. My housework was never appreciated, and my efforts were very obvious in a household because this is what women do in polish society. I was also treated very unfairly by my ex-husband, who wanted me to be a housewife, and I was not allowed to have male friends. He would decide if we go for a trip or if we go out that weekend or not. I had to say yes to many rules he had, and I didn’t agree. So I left one day …

Ivan De Los Santos

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 3

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

What Alok Means by moving beyond the gender binary is to have the ability to see past somebody’s gender because that is not what matters. Alok feels like what matters is how a person displays themselves daily. Alok also speaks on how gender puts people in a box and thinks that it is very harmful to a person. For a long time, Alok did not know how to find acceptance within for a long time. When it comes to being Beyond the gender binary, it is hard for people that have transitioned because it is not globally accepted yet. 

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm, and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

I grew up and thought I was not being taught all these things because of a religious background, and even now, I still don’t understand some stuff in the reading. That was the reason why I took this class. I wanted to understand a bit more because I just know the basics of gender roles. For example, I still need to understand why we use pronouns when, according to my knowledge, pronouns weren’t used before. So I’m just trying to understand. I’ve been more about people who are non-binary, who are they slash them because I’m a little confused.

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

Moving beyond the gender binary for Alok talks about experiences as a gender-nonconforming artist. In this article Alok expresses how we need to not stop viewing gender in two ways which is normatively masculine or feminine. We must view gender in a creative form of expression and beyond a person’s gender. Alok discusses how gender preconceptions are dangerous and harmful. Many gender non conforming people face discrimination for being their true self and being comfortable in their own skin. Alok wants readers to address people how they want to be and accept people for who they are. Without feeling they fear for their life every time they step foot outside or being judged by others.

Identifying as a female has gone against the binary norm because I chose to comfortably over uncomfortably. Growing up I played basketball and mostly wore sweatpants and jeans. These two things led people to question me on if I’m gay or straight. I was always confused on why people assumed I was gay just because I chose to wear a certain clothing that makes me feel more comfortable than something uncomfortable. But I then came to a realization that social media has painted a picture in people’s heads that in order to be a female or girly you must wear skirts, dresses, and like the color pink. This is not true, this is a double standard problem today, many people believe women are not supposed to do things that men are doing like playing basketball or football would make you look “manly”. Women can’t wear certain clothes that men wear because it would make them look more masculine looking. I honestly believe as long as you’re comfortable in your skin and choose to do what you want in life nobody should judge you based on what you wear or look.

Being a female fits the binary norm because people are more used to the basic male and female gender. Now that there are different gender identity’s many people are not accepting it because they are used to old ways and old teachings.

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

Alok sees moving beyond the gender binary as an ability to see beyond a person’s gender or what they are able to see. What matters more is how a person feels and displays it in their daily lives. Alok also discusses how gender preconceptions and expectations are restricting, limiting, and how harmful it is. Like many others, Alok struggled with self-hatred and shame for years before they found peace and acceptance with themselves because they couldn’t conform to the expected binary. The transgender community is more questioned and gets more looks on the streets than other groups because they are questioned more frequently. “Gender non-conforming people face considerable distress not because we have a disorder, but because of stigma and discrimination. There is nothing wrong with us, what is wrong is a world that punishes us for not being normatively masculine or feminine.” 

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

I grew up in a different environment and people so my knowledge about the non-binary people or community was limited. When I came to this country and I saw a man wearing makeup or a dress I was so confused because I was not used to seeing that. All I know is the binary people like myself and the people I grew up with. After reading this book it makes me think how the non-binary people feel when I pronounce them wrong. and it made me realize that there is no way that I could ever imagine the amount of pain that non-gender conforming individuals experience on a daily basis. I am a female  and I like to be called her and she. i am really feel comfortable about it.

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

I think what it means to move beyond the gender binary for Alok is that a person should embarrass their self and that what others think about you doesn’t matter but what you think about yourself and how it makes you feel as a person but at the same time it sad that people won’t defend those who look different because they look at them as if there they chose that path they should accept the consequences of their actions and wanted to draw attention to themselves as if they are doing something wrong. He quoted that “I learned about gender through shame. In so many ways, they became inseparable from me. As I grew older, people told me to stop being so feminine and grow up. Gender nonconformity is seen as something immature, something we have to grow out of to become adults. Overnight, so many of the things that I loved not only became associated with femininity but with shame. ” this is sad because even when I am neutral with the gender I do not like people to be treated any differently and should live their life how they want it. 

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

Gender is a very sensitive topic to me because of my religion and I am scared to offend anyone because of how my religion describes them I was raised in Senegal West Africa 95% Muslim we thought of identifying ourselves based on our sex which was male/female I moved here when I was 16 years old and that’s how I learned that there’s much to gender and that it was not only male/female it was surprising to me, but at the same, I would not say that I feel any type of way regarding people gender because I stay neutral on that topic. I am a straight person and respect anyone who identifies their gender with whatever they want because it’s their life and has the right to feel and do whatever they want as long it is not affecting anyone I don’t think anyone should mind. 

What it means to move beyond the gender binary for alok is to see beyond a person’s gender or what you can see. What really matters is what’s inside and how that person feels and how they show that or exprice this in their life in general. To move beyond the gender binary is to see what’s inside of a person like their feeling, the way their mind works and thinks but also how they want to be addressed or seen by the people around them in which they feel comfortable in their own skin.

 I am a straight male and I identify as a man and that’s how I feel inside. I feel comfortable being a straight male because I do believe that people should see others past just two genders but for what and how that person feels or identifies inside. This to me is all that matters as a human is to understand each other. I respect anyone and everyone if you come up to me and say you identify as a woman, that’s fine because if that’s how you feel inside and that’s how you feel comfortable then express that. If everyone learns to respect each other and are able to feel comfortable around people who represent how they feel inside this one step into making this world a better place for everyone. There’s no reason why some people should be scared to go to certain places or do certain things because of how other people would react by using hate speech or physical violence even just looking at people a certain way and that’s just disgusting that some people would treat other people so horrible for expressing how they feel inside. 

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 3 & Reading Reflection 2

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

Alok is a transfeminine writer and artist who made an expression known to all the agony, shame, and persecution trying to come to a place of peace and acceptance in a society like ours. What I mean by ours is the sentiment people share even at the federal level department of justice denying them their civil rights. It discusses the significance of acceptance and nonbinary identities in society. Learning about gender is difficult for me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to do so, and reading Alok Beyond the Gender Binary highlights how uninformed I have been.

First of all, we are all human, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of gender identity. As a student teacher, one of the ways I have chosen to be accommodating and sensitive to all children is to construct a curriculum around the theme “everyone is different and unique,” exposing them to various family structures like two moms, two dads, a mom and dad, a single mom, or a single dad. Regardless of one’s appearance, beliefs, or choices, everyone deserves respect. Everyone can find a place in the world and no gender is superior to the other.

As a Nigerian Yoruba child, my experience is different and I believe there should be no hierarchy in terms of gender. With the establishment of the “patriarchy”, colonization might have brought about gender variance. For instance, in Yoruba culture, the birth of a child is celebrated the same and not associated with colors or pronouns compared to western culture which does gender review at baby showers. Although the Yoruba culture is complex, it is gender friendly and there is equality. No child is superior to another and power is not always related to gender. Compared to the English language Yoruba has no particular pronoun. for example, the word’ “IWO,” refers to female or male, and “AWON” can be used as singular and at the same used as a sign of respect for elders and could be male or female.

Alok finds it challenging to transcend the gender binary because of the obvious violence, discrimination, and persecution he experiences as a non-conforming gender. It is not an illness or a lack, according to Alok, but rather a creativity in diversity and respect for everyone. Alok says, “I still can’t walk outside without being terrified for my safety.” They had to deal with maltreatment, aggression, neglect, and excruciating medical conditions due to not being a typical male or female (41).

In addition, everyone should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they feel most comfortable, whether that be through “gender binary”, “revolutionary” “reformist feminism”, or “non-conforming gender”. By promoting the rights of all genders and equality for all, we can all work toward building a healthy society. It is not worth it to discriminate against, kill, or harm trans and gender nonconforming persons, especially black transfeminine women (Alok pg. 16).

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

Gender is an emotion for me, and I can pick how I want to display myself. I don’t mind being referred to as they/them/theirs as well as she/her/hers. Most of the time, I don’t act in a way that is consistent with my “assumed gender,” therefore some may claim that I defy the binary norm. For instance, even though I dress in a “girlish way,” despite having a feminine appearance, my favorite color is brown, I adore my polo shirts and jeans, I enjoy getting my hair cut, and I like to wear shoes to dinners and parties. If earning a living while avoiding household duties qualifies as being “masculine,” then I am. However, it should be noted that gender identity is distinct from biological sex. I might fall into the “binary norm” due to physical characteristics like my breasts, painted nails, and lip gloss, but I do not identify as any of those; I am in the middle. But I’m learning more about gender, particularly about genders that aren’t like mine, and I’m also creating a space where others can discuss their gender roles.

Lastly, I believe that the “patriarchy” should be held accountable for the pervasive inequity we currently experience rather than a conflict or disagreement between genders alone.

I believe what Alok V. Manon means to move beyond the gender binary is to almost ignore what gender is in people. If that sounds rude, that is not my intention. I just think Alok explained to us all the negative ways people discriminate due to someone’s gender identity or the way they express gender, and that makes me think that people are too focused on the label aspects of it all. People tend to argue the biology, the ethics, the safety but in the end none of that really matters. Yes labels keep organization but it also keeps order and puts people into categories. This allows people to have more power than necessary. 

I can definitely agree with moving beyond the binary. A lot of the time cisgender people, that includes myself, do not realize the way we express our gender may go against the binary norm. Have you seen men start wearing cropped tops recently? That has become a nice trend I feel. One of my all time favorites was the fashion trend of skin tight clothes turning into all baggy clothes, almost completely unisex outfits. Girls started wearing baggy pants and we haven’t stopped. Boys have started wearing more jewelry and makeup and girls have started looking in both the mens and womens departments when shopping. This is all so normal for our generation now and that’s because we made it that way. We have made it comfortable for most of us because we had the power to. We have had access to the education that has taught us how gender and sexuality is fluid. We are not all taught that masculinity and femininity is wrong or right. We are told to express ourselves. In a lot of ways we are lucky for this and I hope my generation uses all their tools to better our future, not drag it back to the past.

I was just speaking about this in my reading reflection about how I felt as if I took the way that I identified for granted. I was assigned female at birth and grew up as a girl, used she/her pronouns my whole life. I have never really questioned that part of my identity. Maybe I should be more upset at that but I am just not and that is one of my privileges. Yes, being a girl is hard and a lot of the time unsafe but I have to recognize that people that do go against the binary norm in order to feel themselves have more obstacles in life. Yes I wear mens clothing, take up space when I sit, occasionally spit in the street if I absolutely have to, never liked dolls as a kid and that may go against binary norms. However, I still love to shop, get ready for special occasions in pretty dresses, sit when I have to use the restroom, occasionally let men speak over me, hate playing sports and I think that fits the binary norm as well.