Author Archives: EROMIDAYO (HARMONY) OLAYIWOLA

Reading Reflection 3 (Privilege/Oppression)

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Reading Reflection 3 (Privilege/Oppression)

Benefiting from “people’s hard labor” and being a member of a system that functions effectively enough to make daily tasks easier is a “privilege.” For instance, having access to “electricity” may seem normal, yet people created the power plants and transmission networks that produced and delivered electricity. Furthermore, while receiving an education scholarship because you cannot afford it may appear regular, you are supported by a system or a sponsor. Another example is enjoying the advantages of “nature” and taking pleasure in the “light” that the “sun” creates during the “day.” In other words, depending on your identity, color, community, how you are perceived, or the society in which you find yourself, “privilege” might be advantageous. Despite this, “privilege” changes and is relative based on where you come from and who you are in the societal structure. It can also be influenced by your skin color, and gender. For instance, I can say that I’m grateful and glad to have been born in Nigeria, yet someone in the US could argue that they can’t even conceive of being born in Africa. Another illustration is the fact that I may choose to dress however I want without fear of harassment, in contrast to some “females” in my region.

On the other hand, oppression occurs when you are continuously reminded and compelled to comply with what society considers “normal.” What constitutes normalcy? Is it the persistent injustices aimed at the “feminine”? The lives of “females” have always been governed by a dominant group, such as “men.” Does that imply that being a man is a “privilege”? All I want is a fair society with equality for everyone. If people can create these laws and regulations, they can also alter them to benefit everyone.

I have encountered some type of prejudice and restriction due to my cultural and religious background. My mother will always advise me to be reserved and obedient; even as a young adult, she will make sure I dress as “she” has planned, claiming that politics is for males, “women” are home builders, and as a married “female,” I am still subdued to caring for the kids, household duties, and job. Being a “female” is always associated with too many expectations. When you remain in a marriage for a long time without bearing children, people refer to you as “barren.” I still receive the least respect despite being a “female”: bearer of life. However, in some parts of the African continent, this would not be regarded as oppression.

In addition, At my place of work in Nigeria, “white skin color” is prioritized above “black skin color,” and I realized that colonization contributed to the discrimination encountered in Africa. “White” people are always portrayed as being kind, caring, and otherwise “ideal.”

I was initially viewed differently when I immigrated to the United States of America, most likely as a result of the color of my skin, my accent, or my name. There have been instances when I’ve had to write something on paper to communicate. For example, please where can I find the A train? In contrast to Joseph Mabry’s article, about who was “privileged” because of his “skin color,” the “police officer” only saw a “blind white man” because of his skin color. I now start to wonder if my skin tone is the reason for my oppression.

Discussion 4

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 4

In what ways do you experience privilege?

After reading the article, I understood that having the ability to breathe is a “privilege,” and it is challenging for me to recognize or appreciate these advantages on a personal level. Peggy McIntosh’s definition of “privilege” includes part of what I refer to as “people’s hard work”, benefits, or having unaware access to a better life in a functioning system. ‘Privileges’ are “unearned”, and my “skin color” was advantageous in any decision (pg. 2). Accordingly, “privilege” refers to a benefit or an unavoidable advantage beyond one’s control.

Looking back, it is a privilege to have been born in Lagos-Nigeria, to have beautiful surroundings, safety, easy commute, the freedom to sleep and wake up whenever I choose and to have attended school in one of the biggest cities in Africa. Being able to pay my expenses, send my children to a private school, find a place of worship, interact with other people in society, see individuals of my color, and feel comfortable in my skin are some things that have benefited my life. Furthermore, I have “privileges” as a result of my immigration to the United States of America, including access to a top-notch education, paid tuition, 24-hour electricity, medical care, and prompt emergency response. In light of this, do I deserve to have the “privilege” if it is an “unearned” advantage?

In what ways do you experience oppression?

            Being from Africa naturally places me in a position where I am a member of a minority group or culture, and I have encountered various forms of discrimination. After reading the essay by Mcintosh and Marilyn Frye and viewing the video, I have come to the opinion that oppression is not dependent on one’s social position and that anyone can experience oppression or discrimination simply for being a “female”. Being a “girl” and being born into a religious and cultural setting impacted the challenges I had to overcome when I was growing up. I had low self-esteem as a child. I received frequent criticism and humiliation for wearing pant trousers. The freedom to play and explore with “males” around me throughout my childhood was taken away from me. I recall being 17 years old and strolling down the street when an unknown man slapped my butt and fled. I was in awe! My mother said “aso tio wo ti fun ju,” which means the dress I was wearing was too tight when I informed her about it. Does that justify the action? No! Does that support what was done? No! How unfortunate that some of this prejudice stems from “female.” I’ve been consistently pressured to act by how “they” believe I should, and I’ve heard repeated warnings not to walk or wear a certain dress out of fear of being raped.

To be honest, I have encountered persecution, mockery, and bias on countless occasions since moving to the United States of America. I remember a “female” employee calling me an illiterate. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to attend a meeting with my “female boss” and write a report as well. My coworker overheard this and told me that I had no business attending “the meeting,” that I was uneducated, and that Africans don’t go to school, and I grinned as I stared at her. And this from a black “female” high school dropout.

 How does watching this video and doing the readings help you define the concepts of privilege and oppression and what are your current definitions?

According to Mcintosh, “privilege” refers to advantages based on one’s “skin color” rather than one’s class, religion, ethnicity, or geographic location. In other words, those who share the same race as “white” get privileges at the expense of others who are different from them (pg. 2,3). For instance, “I can switch on the television or open the front page of the newspaper and see people of my “skin color” well portrayed” (McIntosh). People without this skin tone are consequently viewed differently because it is not the dominant “skin tone”. Another quote to use is “I can be quite sure that if I ask to talk to the “person in charge,” I will be facing a person of my race” (pg. 2).

This is the problem with privilege—it fails to recognize that other people lack or require what you take for granted. One must count the “things” they have access to and can enjoy without having to work hard to comprehend the concept of privilege. It’s also important to hear other people’s perspectives or experiences.  Profiting from or taking advantage of a “functioning system” without having to work hard or acknowledge your advantage is what is meant by “privilege.” In an equitable society, McIntosh contends, there should be no exceptions to the rule of reasonable expectations, such as the expectation that your neighbors would treat you well or that your race won’t be a factor in legal proceedings. such as the ability to disregard the needs of the underprivileged and to deform both the holders’ and the ignored group’s humanity. All people should be able to enjoy privilege equally (pg2,3).

On the other hand, is oppression when a member of the underrepresented (female) group may experience discrimination in the form of barriers or disadvantages concerning the central thesis of “feminist” that women are oppressed? (Frye pg. 2). Yes, in a world where “men” dominate, women are oppressed, viewed as inferior, not good enough, and prevented from having equal status with “men.” Do “men” believe that being “man” gives them privileges? No! Perhaps males don’t realize how much they oppress, limit, marginalize, and press “female” under the pretense that “men are tormented too.” To put it another way, “man” is “privileged” and “benefits” from institutional systems since they are mostly in power or political influence. I receive harassment for my appearance regularly—I’m told I can’t go out at night, I can’t do well in politics, I can’t go to the front lines of battle, my dressing may attract rape, I am barren, I have to do domestic labor all the time, I’m pregnant and deemed to be “temporarily disabled”—it’s labeled “oppression,” “discrimination,” and “limitation.” As a result, up until this point, I had to modify my behavior to be perceived as a “female”. It’s an unfair system!

When privilege and oppression intersect

This essay caught my attention meanwhile “everyone” or “anyone” might relate to it. He discusses intersectionality and how it differs, the possibilities, the experiences, and how privileges and oppression are connected. it also discusses how the obstacles we face are particular to us based on our identities. It demonstrates how social identities operate on several levels, resulting in various possibilities, challenges, and experiences for every individual. the idea that social classifications such as race when they apply to a particular person or group can result in multiple, components of discrimination or disadvantage (P.O.I).

It makes me think of how I was treated at work in 2020. At the time, covid was high, and I was pregnant. I coughed, was exhausted, and my head hurt. I asked my “supervisor” to let me go home. She apologized for not being able to authorize it and instructed me to speak with the “director,” even though I couldn’t get her on the phone. I kept saying that I was growing weaker after 45 minutes, but she still refused. I sent an email to my “director” and left work to see my doctor and tested positive for covid 19. When I returned to work two weeks later, she scolded me, threatening to withhold payment because I had quit, adding that “African women” are resilient because they face adversity, and that I should not have left my job. I said “I was ill”, and she retorted, “But you weren’t dying.” She was given a two-week suspension after I told my “director” everything that transpired. I’m oppressed by my “supervisor,” a “African American woman,” and I’ve been given “privileged” treatment by my “female White Director,” who has paid my full wage and helped me achieve justice after being harassed.

Reflection 2

Alok’s statement that “I still can’t step outdoors without being frightened for my safety” shattered my heart. The tone of their writing made me aware of their grief, rejection, and frustration. Being attacked for being who and how you want to be seen is unfair. To be terrified of going to the store because I could get harassed for my mode of expression is, in my opinion, mentally damaging. I became aware of how ignorant I had been about gender. Gender is like art in that it inspires and aspires with boundless creativity. Moving past these causes Alok frustration, anguish, and concern for their safety as a non-conforming person.

To Alok Because “sex” is not just biological, but also cultural and politically motivated, the statement “I agree that gender is cultural and sex is biological” seems like a deception. And this raises the question of whether one can rely on science to determine a person’s gender at birth. In his discussion of an intersex person who might be born with genitalia that appears to be between the typical male and female genders, Alok demonstrates how binary sex is politically constructed by pointing out that doctors continue to perform non-consensual and unwarranted surgeries just because the person is different. Furthermore, research indicates that chromosomes do not always correlate with sex and cannot be used to determine a person’s sexual orientation, be it homosexual, bisexual, or straight. Therefore, this is about intentional prejudice rather than science deciding who is who.

Another issue that makes me uncomfortable is gender policing when I am required to modify my behavior in order to please others and fit their perception of what is “normal” for me. Many people think there is a specific perspective I should take on a certain incident or circumstance. People should learn to brace themselves and be at ease with their gender expression as language and cultures change. For instance, when I visit my parent’s in-laws, I still need to appear a specific way. Nobody should have the right to decide what is and is not acceptable/appropriate.

Discussion 3 & Reading Reflection 2

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 3 & Reading Reflection 2

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

Alok is a transfeminine writer and artist who made an expression known to all the agony, shame, and persecution trying to come to a place of peace and acceptance in a society like ours. What I mean by ours is the sentiment people share even at the federal level department of justice denying them their civil rights. It discusses the significance of acceptance and nonbinary identities in society. Learning about gender is difficult for me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to do so, and reading Alok Beyond the Gender Binary highlights how uninformed I have been.

First of all, we are all human, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of gender identity. As a student teacher, one of the ways I have chosen to be accommodating and sensitive to all children is to construct a curriculum around the theme “everyone is different and unique,” exposing them to various family structures like two moms, two dads, a mom and dad, a single mom, or a single dad. Regardless of one’s appearance, beliefs, or choices, everyone deserves respect. Everyone can find a place in the world and no gender is superior to the other.

As a Nigerian Yoruba child, my experience is different and I believe there should be no hierarchy in terms of gender. With the establishment of the “patriarchy”, colonization might have brought about gender variance. For instance, in Yoruba culture, the birth of a child is celebrated the same and not associated with colors or pronouns compared to western culture which does gender review at baby showers. Although the Yoruba culture is complex, it is gender friendly and there is equality. No child is superior to another and power is not always related to gender. Compared to the English language Yoruba has no particular pronoun. for example, the word’ IWO,” refers to female or male, and “AWON” can be used as singular and at the same used as a sign of respect for elders and could be male or female.

Alok finds it challenging to transcend the gender binary because of the obvious violence, discrimination, and persecution he experiences as a non-conforming gender. It is not an illness or a lack, according to Alok, but rather a creativity in diversity and respect for everyone. Alok says, “I still can’t walk outside without being terrified for my safety.” They had to deal with maltreatment, aggression, neglect, and excruciating medical conditions due to not being a typical male or female (41).

In addition, everyone should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they feel most comfortable, whether that be through “gender binary”, “revolutionary” “reformist feminism”, or “non-conforming gender”. By promoting the rights of all genders and equality for all, we can all work toward building a healthy society. It is not worth it to discriminate against, kill, or harm trans and gender nonconforming persons, especially black transfeminine women (Alok pg. 16).

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

Gender is an emotion for me, and I can pick how I want to display myself. I don’t mind being referred to as they/them/theirs as well as she/her/hers. Most of the time, I don’t act in a way that is consistent with my “assumed gender,” therefore some may claim that I defy the binary norm. For instance, even though I dress in a “girlish way,” despite having a feminine appearance, my favorite color is brown, I adore my polo shirts and jeans, I enjoy getting my hair cut, and I like to wear shoes to dinners and parties. If earning a living while avoiding household duties qualifies as being “masculine,” then I am. However, it should be noted that gender identity is distinct from biological sex. I might fall into the “binary norm” due to physical characteristics like my breasts, painted nails, and lip gloss, but I do not identify as any of those; I am in the middle. But I’m learning more about gender, particularly about genders that aren’t like mine, and I’m also creating a space where others can discuss their gender roles.

Lastly, I believe that the “patriarchy” should be held accountable for the pervasive inequity we currently experience rather than a conflict or disagreement between genders alone.

Discussion 3 & Reading Reflection 2

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 3 & Reading Reflection 2

What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

Alok is a transfeminine writer and artist who made an expression known to all the agony, shame, and persecution trying to come to a place of peace and acceptance in a society like ours. What I mean by ours is the sentiment people share even at the federal level department of justice denying them their civil rights. It discusses the significance of acceptance and nonbinary identities in society. Learning about gender is difficult for me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to do so, and reading Alok Beyond the Gender Binary highlights how uninformed I have been.

First of all, we are all human, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of gender identity. As a student teacher, one of the ways I have chosen to be accommodating and sensitive to all children is to construct a curriculum around the theme “everyone is different and unique,” exposing them to various family structures like two moms, two dads, a mom and dad, a single mom, or a single dad. Regardless of one’s appearance, beliefs, or choices, everyone deserves respect. Everyone can find a place in the world and no gender is superior to the other.

As a Nigerian Yoruba child, my experience is different and I believe there should be no hierarchy in terms of gender. With the establishment of the “patriarchy”, colonization might have brought about gender variance. For instance, in Yoruba culture, the birth of a child is celebrated the same and not associated with colors or pronouns compared to western culture which does gender review at baby showers. Although the Yoruba culture is complex, it is gender friendly and there is equality. No child is superior to another and power is not always related to gender. Compared to the English language Yoruba has no particular pronoun. for example, the word’ IWO,” refers to female or male, and “AWON” can be used as singular and at the same used as a sign of respect for elders and could be male or female.

Alok finds it challenging to transcend the gender binary because of the obvious violence, discrimination, and persecution he experiences as a non-conforming gender. It is not an illness or a lack, according to Alok, but rather a creativity in diversity and respect for everyone. Alok says, “I still can’t walk outside without being terrified for my safety.” They had to deal with maltreatment, aggression, neglect, and excruciating medical conditions due to not being a typical male or female (41).

In addition, everyone should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they feel most comfortable, whether that be through “gender binary”, “revolutionary” “reformist feminism”, or “non-conforming gender”. By promoting the rights of all genders and equality for all, we can all work toward building a healthy society. It is not worth it to discriminate against, kill, or harm trans and gender nonconforming persons, especially black transfeminine women (Alok pg. 16).

In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary norm?

Gender is an emotion for me, and I can pick how I want to display myself. I don’t mind being referred to as they/them/theirs as well as she/her/hers. Most of the time, I don’t act in a way that is consistent with my “assumed gender,” therefore some may claim that I defy the binary norm. For instance, even though I dress in a “girlish way,” despite having a feminine appearance, my favorite color is brown, I adore my polo shirts and jeans, I enjoy getting my hair cut, and I like to wear shoes to dinners and parties. If earning a living while avoiding household duties qualifies as being “masculine,” then I am. However, it should be noted that gender identity is distinct from biological sex. I might fall into the “binary norm” due to physical characteristics like my breasts, painted nails, and lip gloss, but I do not identify as any of those; I am in the middle. But I’m learning more about gender, particularly about genders that aren’t like mine, and I’m also creating a space where others can discuss their gender roles.

Lastly, I believe that the “patriarchy” should be held accountable for the pervasive inequity we currently experience rather than a conflict or disagreement between genders alone.

Discussion 2

Eromidayo Olayiwola (Harmony)

Prof. Hollis Glaser

GWS 100-1300

Discussion 2

I became aware of my lack of knowledge of feminism and Sex/Gender after reading bell hooks and Sex and Gender 101 by Kyl Myers. It helps me better grasp what it means to be inclusive and knowledgeable. There is still patriarchy and gender discrimination in some areas of the region, despite the fact that I am from a civilized nation (Nigeria). Due to cultural barriers, one of my friends lost her inheritance to the family’s first son in 2008, leaving her as a female child with nothing. I think that by promoting “feminist,” we may attain equality and put an end to unfairness and inequality.

According to Bell Hook, a woman can assert that she would never choose to have an abortion while also stating that she supports women’s right to make their own decisions and that she supports feminist ideology. These are instructive to me to read, and I believe that any choices you make regarding your own body should be honored without prejudice.

I have this misconception about sex and gender and its well explained in “Sex and Gender 101” analyzing sex orientation which is biological and gender as an expression or creativity and is subject to change. I learned that one can be creative with your own body and appearance.

People used to refer to me as a “tomboy” while I was growing up because of how I liked to dress. The neighbors will stare at me, point fingers, and force me to change into what they consider to be “normal” because my mom always wants me to dress up in a certain way. Even as an adult, I frequently feel the need to apologize for being true to who I am and for being pressured to conform to society’s “feminine” ideal.

For me, “feminism” was more about attaining equality in terms of duties and rights in marriage, the workplace, and society as a whole, which was dominated by men. I learned more after reading “Feminist Politics: Where We Stand.” It focuses on the role that males may play in promoting gender equality for all, ending sex exploitation, oppression, and discrimination against non-conforming people of gender.

Discussion post 1 Introduction

Eromidayo Olayiwola

GWS 100-1300

Discussion Post #1 Introduction

Hi everyone you can call me Harmony. I’m originally from Nigeria but I currently live in the Brooklyn United States of America. I’m a teacher and work with children of ages zero months to four years old. I am 36 years old and a mother of two.

I would like to share some of my childhood memories with you guys. I had so much fun growing up as a little kid especially in elementary school, with my family and friends. I remember one evening; my dad took us to a cinema to watch movies. My brother and I used to run to the car’s front seat. I was 6 years old. I always wanted to sit in the front of the car just to enjoy the views. I still remember the sounds of my dad’s voice “D girl you are too little to sit in the front” as he fondly called. I will scream and cry and he would give me a biscuit. The biscuit was made out of milk, so delicious and yummy.  

My pronounce are they/them/theirs and she/her/hers. I major in early childhood education. I look forward to doing good in this class with the help of my professor and classmates. I selected this subject so that I could comprehend the variations that gender has on people’s “social, political, and economic” lives. Additionally, I would like to know how this can advance society and how I can apply the concepts to my line of work.

Lastly, I love teaching as it allows me to inspire kids to think beyond their comfort zone while I keep learning and growing in knowledge as well. I hope it will help me think critically and understand how this topic affects our beliefs, culture, race, and ethnicity. I find this topic interesting and appreciate learning about it.