The first recent signal hit us during the pandemic when women had to work, cook and take care of their kids. Men had no idea what to do, and women felt a strong responsibility for everything. It is happening now for the first time that we hear in the news that a woman who makes more money than her partner still does much more housework at home and helps more with kids. Why had women tattooed on their brains that they always need to do it, and it is their responsibility?
In Pat’s Mainardi “The Politics of Housework,” essay we experience a translation of a hidden language we hear. She will explain what is happening to us! She is so honest, and each of her examples is an everyday life situation proof of our social condition. Maindardi points out advertisements that brainwash us. Women constantly clean the house and look attractive with a broom or an iron. Men look friendly with cars. Women talk about kitchen equipment or cosmetics and kids, while men buy houses or go on business trips in luggage, or watch advertisements. Women are pretty and young, and men always look good, even bold or with gray hair, in any advertising.
Bold women can’t be attractive because, in current society-people usually think they have cancer! The psychology in “I don’t mind sharing the housework, but I don’t do it well or “You have to show it to me’, or “I will do the housework on my own time” is a push away tactic to put the responsibility of the household on women. It builds a structure where women are the ones who do the simple work and men do the work that brings money, builds a career and gives power. Mainardis points out that women are at the bottom, preparing comfort to rest for them. It is not fair at all that women were manipulated like that. And made themselves dependent on that and survived by obeying! There is often no Thank you for organizing a dinner, going to 3 places to get the food, carrying the heavy food, cooking, cleaning, and serving the food. After dinner, possibly the woman has to clean and organize the kitchen.
Expressing confidently by men how much they don’t like to clean suggests that they aren’t made for that, and its a degrading. The common comments about their feelings and details about the household only hide that they don’t feel entitled to do that job.
Pat Mainardi said something very extremely important at some point. Something that we can write a book about: she says that the oppressed person admires the oppressor, “glorifying the oppressor, “and wants to be like the oppressor.” The roles we live in become who we are and breaking free can be difficult. We only have one short life, and analyzing it while living being abused the right way is not easy. It takes years sometimes to break the chains! Why? “Because the oppressor holds power”, she states, and she is very right.