This week offered some really interesting material to consider. As a gay man, I’m not the most familiar with the female anatomy and so i’d never considered how the oppression of women could hamper their sex life. I mean sure, I’ve seen popular culture float the rumor that the female orgasm can be elusive but this is something deeper. The female sexual experience has been shaped to accommodate the male ego and to benefit their male counterparts. Koedt states that “…Because of the lack of knowledge of their own anatomy, some women accept the idea that an orgasm felt during “normal” intercourse was vaginally caused.” I could only imagine what this must be like, especially for those who are married. 

The American dream is starting to sound pretty awful at this point. I don’t have female family members, at least as far as I can recall, who aspired to live the life of a suburban housewife. But I did get to watch my stepmother try and listened to my mom complain about how she felt she was ‘losing herself’ when she tried to play the perfect housewife. This echoed the claims that Freidan made in The Feminine Mystique. “The problem lay buried,  unspoken,  for many years in the minds of American women.  It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction,  a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States.” 

My classmate, Sadira Mohammed, posted a meme of a 1950’s housewife with a quote that reads “I don’t need rights-I have a Kitchen”. It reminded me of old war propaganda used to glorify the terrors of war. In all that we’ve learned, I feel pretty crappy as a man. Mainardt states that “It is a traumatizing experience for someone who has always thought of himself as being against any oppression or exploitation of one human being by another to

realize that in his daily life he has been accepting and implementing (and benefiting from) this exploitation..” But I also feel armed to go out and actually make informed decisions that go against the status quo. 

I had some really great conversations with my female best friend after completing the reading for this week. I think I’d like to shop these same conversations around with my dad and uncle. I wonder what the experience is like for a heterosexual male to come to the same conclusions that I have; if there experience is different being fathers themselves. My father has been married twice and both women attempted to, unsuccessfully I might add, be a housewife. I would wager that a large part of that had to do with how much emphasis he places on men being the head of household.

In her book, “The Feminine Mystique”, Betty Friedan states, “In almost every professional field, in business and in the arts and sciences, women are still treated as second-class citizens”. Her book was published in 1963, and although we have come a long way since then as women in the workforce, we still have a long way to go. According to U.S Department of Labor’s website, women earn 82 cents for every one dollar that a man earns. I believe this is due to several factors. Without researching it I would guess that women are less likely to ask for a raise and more likely to be undervalued by their male counterparts and superiors. That’s been my own experience, at least.

         Friedan discusses “the feminine mystique” as a step backwards for women. She sees first wave feminists as hanging up their coat after earning the right to vote. Now, women have been brainwashed by men into thinking that their true nature or purpose is as wives and mothers in the kitchen. To embrace this nature is the only way for women to be happy and fulfilled. She also speaks of “the problem”, which is essentially the general dissatisfaction amongst housewives. Women across America were unfulfilled by their limiting roles and lack of autonomy. 

         Pat Mainardi’s “The Politics of Housework”, elaborates on the frustration felt at having to bear the responsibility of doing all the housework, while men do none. She lists all of the excuse’s her husband has made as to why he can’t pull his own weight, which today is referred to as “weaponized incompetence”. Isabella Celentano’s snapshot sums up the way Mainardi feels. A woman is pictured ironing clothes with the text, “Seriously! Am I the ONLY one that can see the trash overflowing, the dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry piled up and the empty toilet paper roll?”

         I’ve made excuses for some men’s perceived inability to see or be bothered by dirt in the way that women are. Of course, the stereotype is not always true but often it lines up due to the way men and women have been socialized differently. The last article, “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm”, by Anne Koedt was eye opening to say the least. Koedt exposes the fallacy of the vaginal orgasm and explains that women’s sexuality has been misunderstood and ignored by male experts like Freud who have tried to shame women for their failure to fit into a penis centered sexual fallacy that is the vaginal orgasm. 

         Reading about Freud’s description of the vaginal orgasm being something that only mature women are capable of having really made my blood boil because I have read this theory before and had no idea that it came from Freud. It clearly should have been debunked ten times over but somehow, it’s still circulated as fact. The way that Koedt draws parallels between men’s lack of understanding of female anatomy to sexism is something that I found really eye opening. I hadn’t looked at it quite that way before. The sad truth is that men are often socialized to put their own needs first inside and outside of the bedroom.  

Being a house wife has become a norm for most cultures. Society have now become structured in a manner where women are to stay home and do domestic works like cleaning, cooking and catering for the needs of children rather than exploiting different aspects of their lives becoming a canker. Women are made to become second to men and this makes patriarchy more significant among the lot, especially when men always want to be in power and rule. This has then limited women contributing in the political arena and the little participation they have is being significantly distorted one way or the other. It should rather be made that women although have certain roles they play at home also do have that tendency to contribute to politics and society and as such should be given that room to operate. Women should be made equals just as men have that opportunity. Not only do women dream of becoming the perfect wives and good mothers but also dream of realizing to their full potential what they can do and exploit different opportunities and vice versa. Women at large are not happy and haven’t been interested about the turn of events where they haven’t been given the forum to showcase what they can do.

However feminists assure us that the core priority and objective of every woman is to fulfill their femism and its functions, to achieve every aim that society depicts as to what being a woman is about, and to become the actualized self of feminism. Over the years we’ve seen a gradual change in the nature of women indulgent in politics, for sometime in the olden days it was extremely difficult to see any participation one way or the other until recently we’ve seen massive change in the political sphere where women have become more vibrant in the scene.

The structure laid of men domination has led to an anatomical analysis where women are seen to be more significant and active at a point where men are not and it’s sexually related. The vagina seem to be the pivot of the topic and even to that extent it is hugely said that the the clitoris makes women vulnerable because men knowing it’s the organ and the mainstream for masturbation in women ends up exploiting it to make them more submissive. Unlike men, women find a lot of pleasure during sexual intercourse which sometimes then becomes their disadvantage. Men succumbing to sexual pleasure are being exploited also by women and made vulnerable one way or the other. As compared to women, men find it difficult to have sexual intercourse continuously in succession for long making them vulnerable and the thought that women not being satisfied would find external means of pleasure sometimes from lesbians frightens the thought of men which makes them weak. It’s rather interesting that the strong hold of women to control men in society is mostly sexual which is now being used as a tool to break the political scene. This is becoming the new normative that’s starting to define societies especially in the western scene.

This week’s reading and the short Youtube video were very interesting as all of the reading provided a lot of information about “Feminine”. In “ The Feminine Mystique” Friedan, begins her study of the lives of presumably white, middle-class women in suburban postwar America through her exploration of the problem that has no name. “The Feminine Mystique” explains that in post-World War II United States life, women were encouraged to be wives, mothers, and housewives and only wives, mothers, and housewives. This, Friedan says, was a failed social experiment. Relegating women to the “perfect” housewife or happy homemaker prevented much success and happiness, among the women and, consequently, their families. Friedan writes that housewives were asking themselves, “Is that all?” the widespread unhappiness of women in the 1950s and early 1960s. It discusses the lives of several housewives from around the United States who were unhappy despite living in material comfort and being married with children. It feels extremely sad to know how all of those women were feeling during those difficult times. The phrase “feminine mystique” was created by Friedan to describe the assumptions that women would be fulfilled from their housework, marriage, sexual lives, and children. It was said that women, who were actually feminine, should not have wanted to work, get an education, or have political opinions. Friedan wanted to prove that women were unsatisfied and could not voice their feelings.

In the article “ The Politics of housework” by Pat Mainardi, Marinardi brings up the issue that most men see housework as a woman’s job, in order to help liberate women housework must be seen as a group effort not simply as ‘women’s work’. She uses her own husband as an example and she transcripts the true meaning behind his statements against cleaning. In her postscript, she implements ways women can liberate themselves by changing the way chores are seen and done in the household. To me, It makes no rational sense that women should do more work than men at home, and take responsibility for the house. This system does latently perpetuate inequalities. I believe that women should have the right to their own choices. 

 In the last reading “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” Anne Koedt, The article how there’s a misunderstanding of women’s sexuality and their desire. The goal of this response is to address both the myth of the vaginal orgasm create awareness and education for women and men about female sexual pleasure and counter previous thoughts about female orgasm. Koedt reflects in her writing, It was Freud’s feelings about women’s secondary and inferior relationship to men that formed the basis for his theories on female sexuality. Once having laid down the law about the nature of our sexuality, Freud not so strangely discovered a tremendous problem of frigidity in women. His recommended cure for a woman who was frigid was psychiatric care. She was suffering from failure to mentally adjust to her ‘natural’ role as a woman

My classmate Sadira Mohammed posted a snapshot that was really powerful to me because it says “I don’t need rights-I to have a Kitchen”. This is exactly how women’s felt in the 1950s and early 1960s as I have learned from “The Feminine Mystique”. My classmate Isabella’s snapshot was pretty much the same. Women were the only ones who would work in the house and take care of everything where men wouldn’t help at all in the house. 

This week’s readings were very much interesting to read and had a lot of information. The first reading “The Feminine Mystique (excerpts)” by Betty Friedan talks about the dilemma of women fifteen years after World War II. Betty Friedan used the word “Feminine Mystique” to explain the societal acceptance that women often find fulfillment when doing housework, in their marriage, sexual lives, and childbearing. These women had no other dreams than being “Perfect wives and mothers, having five children & beautiful houses, and fighting in order to keep their husbands. According to Betty Friedan, all these women ever talked about were “Problems with their children or how they can keep their husbands happy, or improve their children’s schools, or what to cook” while their husbands sit and only talk about their shop or politics. Betty Friedan described these women’s unhappiness as “The problem that has no name.” women felt this sense of depression because they were forced to be compliant to men mentally, financially, and physically. Lowering women to the perfect housewife or making them happy homemakers prevented much success and happiness among women and their families. Feminine Mystique helped “redefine the very nature of women’s problem” When women were seen as human beings with great human potential, equal to men, anything that will keep her from achieving her full potential was still a problem to be solved. Having a career was a problem, education, political interest, even the very admission of women’s intelligence and individuality was also a problem. The was also a problem that has no name, an undefined wish for “something more” than washing dishes, ironing, punishing, and praising the children.  

The second reading, “The Politics of Housework” by Pat Mainardi talks about the issues of most men seeing housework as a woman’s job, and in order to liberate women, housework should and must be seen as a group effort (for men & women) not just simply work for women. First Pat Mainardi started her article by differentiating between Liberated women and women’s Liberation. She said, “Liberated women signals all kinds of goodies, to warm the hearts of the most radical men such as sex before marriage, casual living arrangements, and the self-content of knowing you’re the kind of man who doesn’t want a doormat woman but rather a woman with a career” While “Women’s Liberation signals housework, women always try to share the housework, but it never happens.” Even when both have careers, work a couple of days a week to earn a living, men would still not want to share the housework. Pat Mainardi also went ahead to tell us how she suggested this to her husband/mate who will stop at nothing to avoid the horrors of housework. Instead of helping, he offered excuses saying, “I don’t mind sharing the housework, but I don’t do it very well. We should do the things we are best at” which means he is no good at doing things like washing dishes or cooking”. What he can do is “changing light bulbs, light carpentry, & moving furniture. It also means that the dirty chores are only meant for women and women alone. In addition, my classmate Isabella Celentano posted their snapshot, and it said, “Seriously! Am I the only one that can see the trash overflowing, the dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry piled up, and the empty toilet rolls? This image very well explains the message Mainardi is trying to pass through. It shows how all the duty is left for women only even the trash. Mainardi also made a list and a way to train men which also serves as a handbook for women to put men to work. And she said if women really need to make sure their husbands follow this list, they should “Keep checking up periodically consider who’s actually doing the jobs(7)” because things have a way of backsliding so that a year later once again the woman is doing everything… Alternate the bad jobs. It’s the daily grind that gets you down….” 

The last reading, “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” by Anne Koedt helps create understanding and education for women and men about female sexual pressure and oppose the thought about female orgasm. Koedt in her article argues that the clitoris is the “Center of sexual sensitivity” and is the “Female equivalent of the penis(2).” She also said that other “Sensation perceived to orgasmic are almost experienced through the “Clitoris”. She also argued that the idea of vaginal orgasm came from Freud’s own belief in the inferiority of men and women. According to Koedt in her writing, “it was Freud’s feeling about women’s secondary and inferior relationship to men that formed the basis for his theories on female sexuality(9).” Koedt was against the people that accepted the notion that women that do not “Respond to orgasm during good old-fashioned intercourse are somehow flawed and suffered from a psychological problem that needs treatment. Anne Koedt also said that some women’s orgasms can be experienced through “Sexual fantasy” and she supports that even though the “Cause is psychological the physical sensation, be it localized or more diffuse, necessarily takes places in the sexual organ equipped for the sexual climax- the “Clitoris(5)”. 

It’s funny how society presents to us on our TV’s all these different types of “housewives” that are a part of these reality shows. It only depicts negative and inappropriate actions, behaviors and attitudes of women only to glorify their aggressive and dysfunctional personalities within their relationships and towards other women on the show. I don’t find these shows entertaining. I think it makes women look bad since back in the day real housewives took pride in their role of maintaining the family, cleaning the house and cooking meals instead of what these women on TV do which is to fight, bully and bash everyone of their successes and lifestyle. 

Women have been struggling with their role as a housewife and a mother which at first seemed like the dream of many women but in reality there is a problem. In reading “Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan, there is this sense of unhappiness that comes from women who have become committed to this housewife lifestyle of material comfort and not working outside the home but constantly in charge of housework, child-rearing, and cooking. The old fashioned way of living for a housewife also consisted of women not being involved in any career, higher education, and politics. Little did they know that what they were taught was wrong for truly feminine women because the dream for many women back then is different than that of today. The importance of having a higher education, pursuing in a career, getting involved in politics and working to make ends meet has an impact on women to help us grow smarter and mentally stronger and independent through a patriarchal society that made it seem like we couldn’t equally share the rights and opportunities that gender and some cultural roles expected of us. Friedan mentioned “It is ridiculous to tell girls to keep quiet when they enter a new field, or an old one, so the men will not notice they are there. In almost every professional field, in business and in the arts and sciences, women are still treated as second-class citizens. It would be a great service to tell girls who plan to work in society to expect this subtle, uncomfortable discrimination- tell them not to be quiet, and hope it will go away, but fight it. A girl should not expect special privileges because of her sex, but neither should she”adjust” to prejudice and discrimination” (Freidan). This means that girls and women are not being valued, recognized and empowered for their abilities to work in the same environment and circumstances as men who are a part of the same profession because women are still not being treated as fully equal to men rather in competition. I feel like society’s negative stereotypes work to make females shy away from environments such as the workplace which prevents them from becoming successful on their own. A woman’s ability to perform a task and have the true skills for it should not be compared to her sex and role in society. 

In the second reading “The Politics of Housework” by Pat Mainardi which distinguishes the life of liberated women and the life of the housewife where one focuses on her sex life and career and the other focuses on her marriage, home and kids. Mainardi also shared her personal experiences with her husband on how housework between men and women are fulfilled differently within the household. Of course it’s easy to say that both sexes should equally put in the same effort and work when it comes to keeping the house clean however, Mainardi’s problem was that once her husband tried doing all the things she would do he made excuses about it as he related it to his masculinity. Traditional gender roles are continuously changing especially for women ever since they’ve gained their rights and strived for liberation to be freed from oppression and male patriarchy. Sadira’s snapshot states “I don’t need rights – I have a kitchen” which is more or less what society during the late 19th century expected of women to believe since their only occupation is set as a housewife while their husbands worked away from home and depended on their wives to cook and clean.   

Lastly, in reading “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” by Anne Koedt, it is expressed how there is a misconception on women’s sexuality and desires. The sexual anatomy of a female consists of the vagina but the clitoris is the main center for sexual pleasure. Koedt wanted to educate and inform both men and women when it comes to sexual interactions and pleasing each other’s desires correctly and equally come to a climax. The clitoris and penis are compared in which they similarly serve as the receptors of pleasure. It is important that women aren’t left “frigid” and unsatisfied when engaging in sexual intercourse with men who aren’t familiar with the way their body works and how it may psychologically affect women. 

This week we read three articles that were triggering to read but also shocking. To continue the discussion of women’s struggles, this week we were educated on the old stereotypes of what women should do in her life, meaning a housewife. We were also educated on the conversation of a woman’s orgasm. In the first reading, “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan (1963)” we read about the idea of what a woman should be. At the time women’s dream of being successful in their lives was having a husband, kids, and a household. As we know the term an American housewife. In order to be a housewife, women must have a specific duty and a certain personality. The only duty a housewife must have is kissing their husband’s goodbye, depositing their children at school, and cleaning the household (the kitchen is emphasized). Women were content with this system for a while, being the perfect wife and mother. As a housewife, the highest success to them is having a beautiful house and many children. I personally found this reading irritating because I don’t agree with this idea. However, I am aware that those were different times. The reading continues by explaining the reason women were content with being a housewife, As Betty Friedan said this is called “The feminine mystique.” Society influenced women to not think past becoming a housewife, articles, columns, and books telling women to seek fulfillment as wives and mothers. Friedan concludes by arguing we need to solve the problem of the feminine mystique. The fight is long from over, we need to use our voice, education, and work together. 

The second reading, “The Politics of Housework” by Pat Mainardi it was similar to the first reading. The duty of housewives and the lives they live as a housewife. More specifically the issue is that men see housework as a woman’s job. Pat Mainardi argues this by saying women have been conditioned into becoming a housewife while men have not. I agree with this statement based on the first reading. Society has created articles and books encouraging women to be housewives, loving mothers, and supportive wives. Today when we see commercials for cleaning supplies, houses, beauty, we see women. For example the Swiffer commercials, I remember seeing the Swiffer duster being advertised and a woman was dusting the tables, the ceiling fans, and the shelves. Have you ever seen a man dusting off furniture? Mainardi continues by stating housework should be an equal burden to wife and husband. However, Men give many excuses so he does not have to. She gives multiple sugar-coated excuses men often give which have a real deeper meaning that she emphasizes. My favorite line was, “I hate it more than you. You don’t mind it so much.” MEANING: Housework is garbage work. It’s the worst crap I’ve ever done. It’s degrading and humiliating for someone of my intelligence to do it. But for someone of your intelligence…” I love this line because I have heard it before and it makes no sense. This sugar-coated line has no logic, how do you know I don’t hate housework? To continue in order to solve the issue of this annoying mindset, Mainardi says we should start participatory democracy at home. In addition, my classmates’ snapshot, Glory Kalu Wilson shows a picture that seems to look like propaganda. In the photo, it says “Revolution begins in the sink!” This photo sends a clear message as to what Mainardi is saying. Housework should be divided for both men and women. I think in today’s generation we are more vocal about issues like this. For example, my boyfriend and I are speaking about moving in together, and I expressed an important part of what I want if we were to move in together, which is an equal amount of help getting things done around the house. He agreed completely and did not say something men would most likely say in the 1900s. 

The last reading was the most interesting to me and I was shocked at the argument. I did not know vaginal orgasm is not real. I was so shocked and confused if this was true so I continued reading and after reading her explanations it did make sense. “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” by Anne Koedt gives us an argument that the sexual life of women is centered on men’s pleasure. Koedt explains that the only way women can achieve orgasm is through clitoris stimulation. She proves her argument by describing women are left unsatisfied and this is called “frigid” because the way men and women receive stimulation are different and don’t overlap. Koedt also proves her argument with anatomical evidence. As a psychology major, I find anything to do with the brain fascinating. So part 22 of the reading Koedt explains how psychological stimulation helps women achieve orgasm. I find it so fascinating that the brain and nerves take part in sexual contact. This is the first reading we have had that spoke for women’s struggles not politically or human rights, but as a women’s needs. I hope we can have more future readings like this.