Author Archives: Anevay Darlington

Untold Stories

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After watching “Untold Stories of Black Women in the Suffrage Movement” I went down a bit of a youtube hole and continued to watch short documentaries on this topic. I became very angry about the fact that I had never learned about these incredible black women, like Ida B. Wells in school when I had been learning about women like Susan B. Anthony. It is not at all surprising but I’m thankful there is more public information online about this history as I need to do a better job about educating myself on these things. I know not to trust typical history books in reporting the full story as history is told through the lens of whomever is writing it and the books we read are typically by white men, especially in the schooling system.

These videos make me think about how the feminist movement continues to largely not be inclusive and intersectional. The progress we have seen in the feminist movement has largely supported white women and society highlight white feminists while covering up the rest of the story.

* I wanted to add to my thoughts a bit on this… Over the past few years I’ve spent a lot of time on the island of Guadeloupe. On Guadeloupe my friends and extended family talk a lot about the slave trade and often highlight the bravery of abolitionists. Guadeloupe, still a French territory, saw what was happening in France after the Haitian Revolution and started to riot themselves against slavery. One abolitionists name was a woman named Solitude. There are many myths about her and many fictional stories written of her but the main thing to take away from her is that she was a incredibly strong black mother and leader who even now, so long after she was alive is celebrated for her femininity and her leadership in the fight against slavery on the island. Seeing her statues while I was there made me consider how back home in the U.S.A. we continue to celebrate people who may have had some feats but were only put on the pedestal for making change in a way that continually benefited (and benefits) white people. It is maddening that school children are just beginning to learn the truth of Thanksgiving but are not being taught about women’s liberation in any type of way but especially in a way that celebrates all kinds of women. I want to learn more about those who truly have made change, whom we don’t celebrate and honor in the ways that we need to.

Anevay Darlington Midterm

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Question 1: How do systems of privilege and oppression function in our society? How do we combat these systems?

Systems of privilege and oppression operate in our society in a way that makes it difficult for us to imagine a world without them. Our laws, culture, social understanding, and work ethic are all laid upon the unified foundation of systematic oppression. Systematic racism, white privilege, gender discrimination, male privilege are all examples of this oppression. The systems we have in place all work in tandem to help continue these inequities. For example, the ways in which NYC schools are believed to be inclusive but actually when one does a bit of digging, we find that highschools have a big racial divide. These numbers are especially astounding when looking at specialized highschools like Stuyvesant where out of 749 new placements, only 8 were given to black students. This is no mistake, NYC is actually one of the most segregated school systems in America. To continue with the school system as a way of showing how systems of oppression function in our society, the term “school-to-prison pipeline” is a good example. The term is used to describe the ways in which schools help facilitate the incarceration of black students, through having police presence in schools, arresting students for petty crimes, among other things. Systematic racism is not something that only shows up in the individual psyche or only in some communities. It is systematic, meaning our society would not look the same as it does now, with the same people in power, the same privilege whiteness has, etc. To combat these oppressive systems we have to understand how much of society really functions around these things and understand what we’re up against. I think changing our history books and teaching the truth behind the history of America and it’s integral racism is a start, alongside other things the government would rather keep behind closed doors. 

Question 2: What is the concept of intersectionality and why is it important in women’s, gender, and sexuality studies?

The concept of intersectionality describes the relation of different social groups like gender and race that overlap and create a fuller identity. Intersectionality takes away the idea that we each have only one identity and only one way of experiencing the world that takes into consideration one’s privilege and disadvantages that one faces within systems of oppression. For example, if I told someone over the internet that had never seen my face that I am a woman they might have a different concept of me than if I said I am a white woman. Being a woman in America living in a male-dominated world has its oppression, but alongside the fact that I am white comes the immense privilege I have with being white in America. I also consider my priviege in being cis, able-bodied alongside my other social identities. The concept of intersectionality is very important for gender, women’s and sexuality studies because it makes the study of these things inclusive for everyone. In the past these studies, in academia were more geared for white, cis women because those were the identities that were accepted into college and classes like these. But, white women have only one experience that also aligns with white privilege and if we are the only ones that have these conversations then that directly harms those who are not of this experience because then our policies are not created in an inclusive way. The lack of intersectionality in conversation and practice is those who are not cis-white women are so targeted and and why it is so important to keep these conversations going. Accepting every kind of sexuality, race and gender is important so that we can continue to educate ourselves and others so that governmental policy and change can reflect intersectionality and support people of all backgrounds.  

Question 3: Why is it important to recognize patriarchy as a system and not an individual identity?

Patriarchy is a term that is often associated with feminism. Both of which are considered to be a “woman’s issue”. The system of patriarchy is something that leads to sexual abuse by men, gender wage gap, different parent roles, etc. However, when a woman faces any of these issues it is usually seen as her individual problem and something for her to fix. Although, how is this the societal response when 1 out of 3 women are raped at some point in their lives. Even if a man is not seen as a typical sexist person he still has better prospects of being a boss in his life, or being a parent without the sole expectation of being a good dad like a mother is. Patriarchy allows and uplifts gender based violence, sexual exploitation, a male dominated world, harmful gender roles and a plethora of other things. Patriarchy is ingrained in our society and creates an environment where men think they know better than every woman. As an example this shows up in how we treat reproductive health care and put women’s bodies in danger at the hands of men who create laws unfit for every woman. 

Question 4: How is gender constructed and learned in our society? How do we perform gender?

A persons gender is constructed before they are even born, when a parent is given the sex of their child in the womb. Parents will then know whether to paint the baby room pink or blue, buy trucks or barbies. Children will be instructed differently based on their preconceived gender. Girls will be taught to listen well, given dolls that they will practice initial caretaking skills on. Boys will be told “boys will be boys” when they hit each other, kiss girls in the playground and do things girls would be reprimanded for. All of these behaviors begin a person’s life in how they will perform their gender. The term “boys will be boys” will follow the boy into adulthood when he is on trial for a sexual assault case and let off with a slap on the wrist while the girl will be subject to scrutinity for wearing a short skirt in the first place.  Women are taught to be desirable to men, to dress and look pretty, to cook well, to be well versed in the skills of emotional labor so that the men in their lives are supported in being the breadwinners, the people that we marry and take our last names after. Women are taught from their first step how to be the perfect support person for the man they will one day marry. 

Question 5: What is the difference between sex and gender? How are sex and gender conflated (converged and confused) within our culture?

Sex is biological and only explains the sexual organs one is born with. The misconception is that there are only male and female parts, without taking into account intersex biology as well. Gender is an indentity that has nothing to do with biological sex. They are conflated and taken to be the same thing in our society because that has become customary under our patriarchal system. Gender is assigned to someone at birth when the biological sex is accounted for by the doctor and from that day on the child is expected to fulfill that role. However, gender has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Gender is an identity that one feels they connect with. In this society many people may feel inside themselves that they don’t align with the gender they were assigned and have their own self-identity but don’t choose to express this to the public for fear of violence or scrutiny. This is why alongside gender identity there is also gender expression. 

Question 6: What is a double bind? How do double binds function within our society?

A double bind is something like a paradox, it is a situation or a dilemma in which someone has to choose between two non-favorable situations and conflicting messaging from society, with no seemingly happy ending.  Double binds show up in our  society in many ways but the most commonly talked about is femininity in leadership. The double bind is that women want to be taken seriously and get more leadership roles but to do this one needs to assert herself in a way that directly goes against the socially acceptable way of presenting as a woman. Women are expected to be kind and docile and those are not traits that are seen as typical in leadership. Women in higher roles are usually scrutinized much more than their male counterparts, as well as their mannerisms, the ways they interact with the press, etc. This means women must choose between two lifestyles that are both bad in their own ways, one is presenting more like a “man” to be able to have a leadership role, the other is not having good chances at getting that role because she has womanly traits which don’t seem professional. 

Week 5

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This week, on Netflix I watched the film Knock Down the House. The documentary mainly focused on Alexandria Cortez in 2018 running for congress in NYC and other women around the country also being a part of this movement of women running for congress. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much and didn’t think I would learn a lot or be very interested on the subject of the movie. I remember well the election where Alexandria won and how exciting it was for NYC and thought that I knew a lot about this subject just from living through those times.

However, I was very surprised. What struck me is the lengths these women had to go through in order to even be on the ballot for the election. The establishment and big business are all buddy buddy with each other and make it so that anyone who truly is a working class, normal citizen has an extremely hard time running for any kind of office. The lack of support and the actually sabotage that goes into trying to make sure only white men are in the office is something I have known to be factual but watching a film where these women really sacrificed so much of their lives to try and run for congress and see how many walls were put up against them really made my blood boil.

Hearing about how much they thought about how they dressed and presented themselves so that people would like them just made me angry because that is something men don’t even consider.

Whether or not people agree with the politics of the women in the show, it’s a good subject to be talked about – the fact that people in power need to be shown that people can run for office and win without the backing from big companies and other politicians who want more people in their corner. The U.S.A has a long history of putting money over anything else and it shoes up in all of our systems. The hundreds of thousands of people that die every year because they don’t have health insurance is a good example. It’s been time that people start to align their politics with their morals rather than their pockets.

Response 4

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“…we all participate in something larger than ourselves,
something we did not create but that we now have the power to affect through
the choices we make about how to participate.”, writes Allan G. Johnson in “Patriarchy the System”. This perspective really helped me decipher how people choose to correlate their individual acts within a larger system. Like Audrey Lorde explains, systems of oppression all meld together and while we each feel the affects of oppression differently and on a very personal level we have to understand the separation and the closeness that we have to our larger society. We need to know ourselves in the larger context and know how we choose to participate even if the problems feel so daunting.

I was reading an article the other day, unfortunately I don’t remember where and by who, but the topic was on how we have others take accountability for sexual assault and rape cases. A father was saying in an interview that he would hate to have his 17 year old son’s life be clouded by something harmful he did when he was younger. The writer of the article talked about how that is not a bad thing. If society stops acting like men of any age doesn’t understand what it means to be non-consensual and we changed the larger scope of what being accountable looks like in these situations, there would be less victim-blaming and a belief in women when they say that they have been in these harmful situations. All of this is to say that we need think about where and how they situations arise and are continue to happen under the larger scope of our society. What subtle and non so subtle messaging has people feel like the woman is to blame in these situations. With this we can find solutions like in school education on these issues and a better understanding of how to problem solve without victim blaming and painting the story as a boy just not understanding what he was doing.

Without resistance and a want to educate ourselves in the ways in which our society operates we allow, even if personally we live comfortably, other individuals to be oppressed. Although like Johnson writes, even though when speaking about the patriarchy men often think that women are only thinking about women’s rights, patriarchy also directly affects and harms men in many ways even if in it’s nature is trying to uplift and protect men. This shows through in examples like toxic masculinity and homophobia. Another example is that in society we usually deem women as natural caretakers even if biologically there is no evidence to show that we are better parents and nurses than men are. Women in court with custody cases are more likely to win over the father because of these gender based roles that society continues to promote and have people fall under.

These are all complicated issues and things I’m just learning and forming my opinions about with actual research behind me but I believe that society is ever changing and while we have a lot of work to do, with the addition of social media and more platforms for people of all backgrounds these are conversations that are being more well addressed today than ever before, at least in my context as I know it living in America.

Snapshot 3

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I don’t believe that white people face discrimination in America but I thought these statistics were interesting because when asked this in a specific setting where they are trying to get a job or into college there are not as many people saying they believe this is true…

Content Response 3

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I was speaking to my boyfriend earlier today about some of the same topics in these articles by McIntosh and and Frye. Being a young interracial couple living in America is means for many conversations about these things. I am a white woman and he is a black man and it is important to converse about what it means to be both of these things. Today we were talking about men who are deemed “mamas boys” and it led me to talk about how men overall expect women to take care of them in the way a mother might, like with cleaning and cooking. He was quick to say that he takes care of me too and didn’t understand my point. I told him I never said he didn’t but it’s important in this society to understand the expectations and the engrained things in us. I was expected to cook and clean as a child and he wasn’t, largely because he a man. His perspective quickly shifted and he understood the larger context I was trying to explain.

I thought the article by McIntosh was interesting and the list as well that she had about the ways in which she recognizes her privilege. I think the ways in which white people use their privilege should be talked about by white people more, and the guilt that comes along with is isn’t helpful at all. We often talk about things like driving and when we get our permits who would more often drive and he said that I should because black men are more often pulled over. It was something that I had never thought about before and he told me if anything were to happen we would be let off easier. I really understood my privilege in that instance because I never considered being fearful for my life with being pulled over. Like she said in the article white people are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege but I also think that’s not enough of an excuse anymore. It’s important that people take on the role of recognizing their privileges in society and doing the work in listening and changing society in whatever way they can.

Response 2 : Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid Menon

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I thought the read was interesting and insightful. When Alok said “A lot more airtime is given to other people’s views of us than our own experiences” I thought about the media I see when it comes to the gender binary and discrimination and I tend to hear on larger platforms from cis men and on social media and mutual aid organizations from people who are actually a part of these communities. Gender fluidity even while living in New York, may seem more supported, is societally discriminated against. In NY, where we often hide behind our alleged progressiveness we ignore police brutality, evictions in the state of a pandemic emergency, and other atrocities that are swept under the rug – discrimination against those who don’t fall under being a cis man or woman, is widespread. As Alok said “Bias and discrimination are not just being endorsed, they’re being given the green light.”

America does not want to admit that being pro LGBTQA+ and supporting the gender spectrum, does not align with its’ innate beliefs. America has been run by it’s two gender system, it’s gender roles, the two parent household run by a doting wife and a hard-working husband. Until America, as a whole, realizes how much harm they are doing by not supporting people to be diverse, individual, etc – people will continue to be divided and it will continue to be a dangerous climate for those who don’t stick to their respective gender roles. Cis women and men need to step down from their pedestals where they claim to be inclusive, instead of them continuously taking the mic on subjects that are not in their experience; they need to step down and offer up their platforms and resources to those who are underserved and discriminated against. People love to spout rhetoric that they are supportive and loving of everybody, from their very privileged perch without actually doing any listening work from people who are experts in this topic of conversation.

It is a very dangerous climate for trans women and men, specifically trans black women. With already 35 murders of trans women across the country and no media coverage on big station news, this is a real problem and will only continue happening if the country as a whole does not create policies that specifically protect these communities. It is not enough for government officials to just say that they are sorry and don’t condone this behavior. Real change needs to happen from every level and people have been working non stop from the ground up to make sure that people are protected.