I really enjoyed reading Beyond The Gender Binary. I actually read this book through a Facebook book club for LBTQ people of color. Vaid-Menon provides their unique view and shares some really great words of encouragement. My favorite quote reads  “we want a world where boys can feel, girls can lead, and the rest of us can not only exist but thrive.” This is a powerful statement and essentially encompasses the idea of gender non-conforming people. This idea of masculinity, feminity, or both being something that anyone, regardless of their biological gender assignment, can use to express themselves is so beautiful. I think my classmate, Hilary, summarized how I feel when she posted her snapshot image of Young Thug in the garment that broke the internet. 

Vaid- Menon stated that “the assumption is that being a masculine man or a feminine woman is normal and that being “us” is an accessory. Like if you remove our clothing, our makeup, and our pronouns, underneath the surface we are just men and women playing dress-up.” Young Thug was genuinely expressing himself through his love for fashion but got some much hate because it wasn’t done in a way that supported the status quo. It is my belief that the system is set up to demonize anything that might encourage free-thinking and self-awareness. That said, this is a great book to share with anyone considering what else is “beyond the binary” or even for those who just want to learn more.

The author does a fantastic job at debunking some of the common arguments I’ve heard against gender non-conforming people. One of my favorite instances of this is in the section entitled “slippery slope”. Here They explain how the opposition attempts to associate the notion of being non-binary as an ideal that will lead to some kind of misfortune or disastrous situation. They then go on to explain how this stirs the metaphorical pot because people make wild claims or connections to other topics that don’t actually have anything to do with people identifying as non-binary. I remember how my dad tried to use the same logic when I came out; that my sister would somehow be influenced by lifestyle and end up unmarried. At the time, he really had convinced me that I was some home responsible for my sister’s future happiness. In reality, me being a gay man had nothing to do with her love life. We’ve since come to terms with my sexuality and he understands how I view the world. I’m hoping to revisit this topic in conversation with him and ask him to explain where he got that argument from. I’ve often found that it’s often something learned through socialization or is expressed as a result of the system pushing men to toxic. My classmate, Anevay, posted a snapshot depicting the Native American belief in people having two spirits. Gender fluidity, expression, and gender non-conforming were her long before the system ever existed. And will be here long after we destroy it.