I was speaking to my boyfriend earlier today about some of the same topics in these articles by McIntosh and and Frye. Being a young interracial couple living in America is means for many conversations about these things. I am a white woman and he is a black man and it is important to converse about what it means to be both of these things. Today we were talking about men who are deemed “mamas boys” and it led me to talk about how men overall expect women to take care of them in the way a mother might, like with cleaning and cooking. He was quick to say that he takes care of me too and didn’t understand my point. I told him I never said he didn’t but it’s important in this society to understand the expectations and the engrained things in us. I was expected to cook and clean as a child and he wasn’t, largely because he a man. His perspective quickly shifted and he understood the larger context I was trying to explain.

I thought the article by McIntosh was interesting and the list as well that she had about the ways in which she recognizes her privilege. I think the ways in which white people use their privilege should be talked about by white people more, and the guilt that comes along with is isn’t helpful at all. We often talk about things like driving and when we get our permits who would more often drive and he said that I should because black men are more often pulled over. It was something that I had never thought about before and he told me if anything were to happen we would be let off easier. I really understood my privilege in that instance because I never considered being fearful for my life with being pulled over. Like she said in the article white people are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege but I also think that’s not enough of an excuse anymore. It’s important that people take on the role of recognizing their privileges in society and doing the work in listening and changing society in whatever way they can.