After reading Beyond the Gender Binary, it just confirmed that the society we live in is all about control and really does not like anything that challenges the norm. Alok really spoke up about a lot of problem that gender non-conforming people deal with. “At its heart, discrimination against gender non-conforming people happened because of a system that rewards conformity and not creativity.” When Alok said this, it really hit me hard, growing up it was always a problem that I was more masculine then all the other girls. I naturally have very large hands because of my father and when I was small, they were even bigger. I never really fit in with the girls and the boys and it was always “She’s so weird, stop acting like a boy, or Why do you look so girly today.” I never understood why one thing was gatekept by one gender and the other gender was not allowed. Why is it such a problem to be yourself in this world?”

When Alok began to talk about the fact that gender was put in place to control us, I was so happy to hear that because no one I know seems to understand that. Gender is used to say, “she can’t” and “he shouldn’t.” gender just like race was put in place to keep us segregated so we as a community will not be powerful because we all see one another as different.  When Alok mention people don’t see a baby as real until they know the gender was simply mind-blowing. As a kid when my mother was pregnant; the first question people would ask it “Do you know what it is?” Like excuse me did you just call my baby sibling an it? it is true that people first evaluate your value by your gender. So, in this society where a person can’t make those evaluations on a gender non comforting person, they pretend you don’t exist or bully you into being “normal.” I remember when I was around 12, I was watching the Oprah show and she was interviewing a person that was born with both genitalia. They spoke about how they did not want to be just one or the other. They did not feel like a girl or like a boy but in the middle and on other days nothing at all. I felt something register in my head at that moment and a tear came to my eyes. Sadly, most of the time gender non-conforming people are seen as doing “the most” and everything we do is seen as a cry for attention when we are just being us.

The funny thing is that the minute you start explaining to people why you identify the way are they see it as a treat to themselves. Or take out their inability to express then selves on you. Alok also spoke about how people how a problem with gender non-conforming people is most of the time people how are also queer but are too scared and brainwashed by the norms of society that they keep their true selves inside. Then they take the frustration of not being able to be themselves out on others. This is sad but at the same time if we have the guts to be ourselves it should motivate you to do the same instead of bullying us, because be honest what are you getting out of making someone else life a living hell. Another thing Alok mentioned it that people are quick to assume that the term nonbinary will erase women and men identities. The really question it why do you think the identity of one being threatens your own? The fact is that it does not, so that argument that nonbinary people will erase women and manhood is just another way to call nonbinary people in inconvenience or a being that makes you remember you are not so different. The fact of the matter it that when ever you feel like deep in your mind and soul is what you are. Anevay Darlington posted the indigenous being with 2 spirits both feminine and masculine and I remember learning that queer people in indigenous communities are seen as higher beings because they possess both masculine and feminine divine energy. Imagine how the world would be if all humanity viewed it this way. Alok book Beyond the binary should be read by more people, They are God sent.