Alok V. Manon’s “Beyond the Gender Binary” gives the reader insight into what sorts of societal judgments and pressures that non-binary and trans people face daily. Something as simple as going to the grocery store can create intense anxiety for folks whose gender expression conflicts with the gender that they were assigned at birth. Manon writes, “The thing about being visibly gender non-conforming is that we are rarely if ever defended by other people in public. Everyone thinks that since we ‘made a choice’ to ‘look like that’, we are bringing it upon ourselves” (Manon, 12). The fact of the matter is that no one should have to defend their choice of pronouns. The way that a person dresses and expresses themselves should be up to them, and their pronouns should be respected.
Sadly, due to ignorance, a resistance to change, cultural or religious bias and fear some folks refuse to acknowledge the chosen pronouns of others. This is hugely invalidating for people who find their gender expression falling outside of societal norms. Consequentially, a refusal to call people by their preferred pronouns can contribute to worse mental health outcomes and even suicide. According to Manon, “40 percent of trans and gender non-conforming people have attempted suicide” (Manon, 10). Trans and nonbinary people are dehumanized daily.
In their snapshot, Sadira Mohammed writes that her little sister corrected a boy at school who was “having trouble understanding why one of their other friends has They/Them pronouns.” Sadira explained that “sexuality is about your mind and your soul it has nothing to do with this avatar we live in called the human body.” I thought this was a really great way of putting things. We must learn not to take people at their perceived face value so that we may see the world more clearly. It was also heartwarming to read that school-aged children are having these sorts of conversations at such a young age and even educating one another. This gives me hope for the world.
There is a tendency of some people to dismiss an experience that isn’t their own. This is true of racist and sexist beliefs as well as transphobic and homophobic beliefs. This is where the problem lies. I believe that you don’t have to understand exactly where people are coming from to empathize with and respect their situation. We should do our best to educate ourselves on the struggles of others so that others aren’t constantly burdened with educating us. However, empathy must be out default and in some cases, it must come before understanding.
It’s heartbreaking that trans and non-binary people are driven to suicide due to society’s disregard and disdain for their existence. When I was a kid, the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” was a popular one. The truth is that words do hurt. Emotional pain is real pain. I believe that if more people understood the severity of the effects of misgendering others, they would do better. Religious beliefs shouldn’t prevent people from empathizing. The root of all religions is love, which trumps hate, always.
