It’s actually really infuriating that women were told what to do, what to want and even how to think. Women had no control over their own lives or body. And it’s especially infuriating to me that women were shamed for being “frigid” and that heterosexual sex centers the penis and disregards female pleasure. What’s even more infuriating is that while so much progress has been made women are STILL controlled and disregarded in sex.

Women’s roles were so limited. There’s nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, but the term “housewife” as it is conceptualised is inherently oppressive because there’s a lack of access to other avenues and occupations, unequal labor, and the absence of freedom of choice. In the 20^th century women’s  “only dream was to be perfect wives and mothers;  their highest ambition to have five children and a beautiful house, their only fight to get and keep husbands. They had no thought for the unfeminine problems outside the home;  they wanted the men to make the major decisions.They gloried in their role as women, and wrote proudly on the census blank “Occupation:  housewife.” As stated in The Feminist Mystique by Betty Friedan. Imagine having your desires dictated to you, being reduced to a single role/occupation, it’s so unfulfilling. Many women do not want children, or husbands, or to stay at home, they want freedom to choice their occupation, choose their destiny and live true in their identity. Luckily we’ve made major progress in this area of woman’s liberation.

Frigidity is such a silly concept. Most women do not have vaginal orgasms. In Anne Koedt’s “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” it states “Although there are many areas for sexual arousal, there is only one area for sexual climax; that area is the clitoris. All orgasms are extensions of sensation from this area.” (4). I can personally attest to this because penetration is only pleasurable in one area, the underside of the clitoris leading into the vaginal canal (so essentially still the clitoris).  I’m assuming that’s the infamous gspot but it’s never been pleasurable enough to give me an orgasm, so I’m very much in agreement that vaginal orgasms are a myth. Shaming women for something their anatomy is not meant to do is ridiculous. How illogical and moronic that the “intellectually superior” and “logical” gender just makes up facts with lack of scientific backing. The mental torture this wreaked on women. Women to this day are concerned about not being able to have vaginal orgasms  and are unsatisfied in heterosexual sexual relations. The lack of education on the female body has many women confused about their own body and has heterosexual men neglecting their female sexual partners needs. It’s a toxic cycle of dissatisfaction and insecurity for women and I want it to end. 

Nicole Guidetti’s Snapshot 8 which features a Tik Tok about Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me” which is said to be the first feminist anthem. I first heard this song sampled by a new artist named Saygrace and I was immediately in love with the lyrics. Lesley Gore captured my exact sentiments when a man is trying to be controlling or possessive, like seriously “don’t tell me what to do and don’t tell me what to say”. I’ve had random men in public  tell me to smile, policing my facial expressions it’s wild. I’ve even dated a controlling guy who tried to control how I dress, and tried to force me into the gym because my ass wasn’t big enough for his liking, I left him with a swiftness. As Lesley gore says “I’m free and I love to be free to live my life the way I want, to say and do whatever I please”. 

After reading ‘The Feminine Mystique’ (excerpts) and watching ‘50 Years of the Feminine Mystique’, I just started writing my thoughts and feelings. Growing up as a young girl, I can remember making some observations of what was happening around me. These articles jolted my memory way back to when I was that little girl. My father went out to work to provide for his family, while my mother stayed at home and had baby after baby until she gave birth to eight children.

            I remember my father coming home and being very angry all the time. He would physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse my mother and one of his favorite things to say to her was “You are only a housewife.” She was completely controlled by my father. Reading the articles for this week I can see a vast difference in the way American women were treated to the way women from the Caribbean were treated. This prompted me to want to be an independent woman when I grow up. Because of my experience as a young girl, when I became a wife, I despise the name housewife, I would not allow anyone to refer to me as a housewife.

            Although the Feminine Mystique was published back in 1963, this shows that nothing has really changed because we see this behavior even today. I believe that it is unfortunate that women are referred to as housewives. Being a wife is a full-time job. You work from the time you rise in the morning, taking care of their husband, kids and all the household chores which includes cooking fresh nutritious meals daily, with very little or no time left to care for themselves. Often wives just keep quiet. This goes back to what I heard almost every day while growing up: “Girls should be seen and not heard.” When I became a mother, I set out to break that cycle. I told my daughter that girls should be seen, heard, and listened to, and have maintained this way all my life. In the article it is stated that “The root of women’s troubles in the past is that women envied men, women tried to be like men, instead of accepting their own nature, which can find fulfillment only in sexual passivity, male domination, and nurturing maternal love.” There is nothing to be envied about men, I can do mostly everything a man can do, and that’s the truth. There is nothing absolutely nothing to envied about men. Most of them are bullies with little or no respect for women, especially women who carried their babies.

Women should stand tall and always assert their presence, holding your own shows that you are demanding respect. I have discovered that my married friends prefer to be referred to as wife not housewife. They no longer want to stay at home pampering the husband and caring for the kids. Women are liberated, they have come to realize that household duties can be evenly distributed among the sexes. Slowly some men have caught on to the trend and are getting more comfortable with sharing domestic duties once thought to be a woman’s job, making it easier to live in an equal household. Finally, a woman’s vagina is not just a tool to produce babies, it is one of nature’s most wonderful pleasures of life.

Betty Friedan was a young activist and journalist, she cared for the people around her more than herself. She was also a housewife and a mother. She was who other women wanted to be and she had everything. 1959 during a gathering most women realized that they had an issue, they have been taking care of people around them and no one was doing much for them. They say bye to their husband’s then go on about doing their own thing, they realized how lonely they were. They could only think of themselves as just housewives and not really a wife, it was almost like a job they did not ask for or like at all. Books or anything written about women saw them as just mother and women who just do chores. Imagine getting married to the person you love, and they do not appreciate you or don’t even take the time to help. They were only thought to do certain tasks in their homes. Women were seen as fragile and lesser then men that was why the men where the ones who would go out and the women will be home all day. Today we are fighting for equality, letting everyone know that women do not belong at home, they also belong in offices, they can also study engineering. All those things are not gendered and should be for everyone to do and enjoy. 

The Feminine Mystique was published in 1963 by Betty Friedan, no matter how long it has been it has affected people and made others aware of the problem women had back then. it explains how feminist wanted to make themselves more fulfilled, trying to raise children. All they really wanted was to have careers and good education, it was not something they could easily speak about outside. Women were given a job they should not be doing alone and making them feel like the work men do is more important and that is why they do not need to help. There is no reason why it should be a problem for both men and women to do house, it seems fair. Media has shown women to be cleaning the house or cooking when the man is at work, it should not be like that. Young viewers will begin to grow up and think they can’t do chores or even believe that their sisters should be the only one to do so. There are also times when sisters do more because they are girls, parents call the girl and not her brother. That should stop because it becomes a problem from there. If a man tries to argue about doing the same amount of housework, he probably does not care at all and did not appreciate when the wife was doing it. It is difficult when you try to do go with the role that society has given women and when they refuse it becomes a problem. Society has made it a task for women to be home and men to be outside.