After reading Alok’s ” Beyond the Gender Binary”, I seem to understand more of Gender Binary than before. The reading brought up situation’s that are unjust for a person to experience. Such as when Alok stated “Like if you remove our clothing, our makeup and our pronouns, underneath the surface we are just men and women playing dress up”. There has always been that stereotype in the world where men are the breadwinners, are emotionless, must be brave and sharp, while women on the other hand are gentle, softer, and dependent. However, as we all know this isn’t the truth. the truth is we are all human beings and are able to choose what we want to be, how we want to be. This has only become a problem now because it is no longer fitting into the old stereotypical narrative. Alok states, in the reading, how they are continuously afraid for their safety when stepping outside. Why should an individual like that? In fear they will be attacked for going out and living their lives. In fear that they will be targeted that day. In the reading Alok states “Take, for instance, when the department of justice announced trans and gender non-conforming workers are not protected by civil right laws”. The reading demonstrates how the non-conforming have a target on their backs by the states and the legislation. And how they really only have themselves to rely on because they continuously be discriminated by even the system. If the own state won’t hold their backs this would only encourage the target they have on their backs. Furthermore, according to Alok “the gender binary is set up for us to fail…the gender binary is more concerned with gender norms than it is with us”. Alok explains how, as we know, for many years there was the belief that there are only two genders. These were “man” and “woman”, and that these two genders are the only acceptable genders and by fulfilling the stereotypical role assigned to the genders would be the only form acceptable to live. However, it is not true. People are free to express themselves as however they please and they feel is right with who they are. Yet those expressions are shut down and would often not be accepted. People would have a problem with the way people would use creativity to express themselves. They are, if I may say so, afraid of how people are no longer being neatly categorized in this box or the other. Alok brings up an interesting statement which is “if we allow people to self-determine their genders, then pretty soon people are going to start identifying as frying pans or anything, you name it.”, to which Alok’s response is that this sort of mentality was a strategic move that was used against movements by derailing the conversation. This sort of statement kind of seems like they are trying to corner these individuals in order to try to silence them.

This article is about how people that are gender non-conforming are being treated on a regular basic just for being themselves and people view them as weirdo just for expressing themselves or dressing a certain way that is comfortable for them but that people think is not appropriate because people are seeing them as something else that they are not and some time that make people feel uncomfortable because they lack of understanding and we as society we shouldn’t have a say on what somebody decides to wear no matter what is their gender everyone should be able to be whatever they want to be. This article really talks about how people can really make other feel bad with their insensitive comments and people also start harassing gender non-conforming people because of the way they look and asking them uncomfortable question like “why do you dress like that?”(beyond the gender binary) as a way that they shouldn’t be dressed like that. Gender non-conforming people are experiencing a hard time since the government is not doing much to provide them support and safety instead they are trying to prohibit and banning them from public accommodations and access to healthcare which i believe is unacceptable that the state and federal level are not doing a better job to protect gender non-conforming people that are part of the community as well but instead they are turning their back on them. Gender non-conforming are being mistreated more than the general population because they experience housing discrimination and in school they are oppressed as well. I personally didn’t have a lot of knowledge about gender non-conforming before reading this article that was really eye opener for me because i didn’t know that gender non-conforming people had to go through all this just for being who they are and how people can really make someone feel uncomfortable with question that make them feel like they are being judged.

            In the snapshot Maram posted, I could not help but empathize with gender binary communities. I personally have never been told if I went to this bathroom my options are, fight, killed, or fined. Its utterly upsetting that these laws are written, voted and passed on, then followed by a certain demographic of people. More than likely the ones who voted these laws to be in place. I wonder if they hink that they are providing a service to the public by shaming others who have lived tormented in their skin and finally came out, in their OWN SKIN? Fearmongers prey the weak to manipulate the masses into these beliefs. To have the fear of someone potentially killing you to use the bathroom is the probably the most frightening experience one must endure. A lasting fear. Fear that is forever replaying. 

I feel this short book is trying to educate the readers on the injustices and marginalization the communities face. Alok created the timeline of events that take place in adolescence, puberty, and adulthood. The readers are put in the shoes of these individuals and the pain, oppressions, and terror. I really reflected on times that I take for granted for being a hetro-white woman. 

To have the fear of being beaten because you may have went to dinner with friends, had something that upset your stomach and you have to go immediately but cant because there are laws mandated against your rights to go to the bathroom? Play sports, rent from a certain place, being provided adequate healthcare without being mistreated by your physician, your “family” thinking it’s a phase, peers not understanding or you yourself not even understanding. These people also think the LGBTQAI+ is a mental illness. The discrimination and acts of our what could potentially induce a mental illness.

These inhumane acts are being enforced by those who cannot comprehend the irreversible mental anguish oppressed communities face or even care. These are also cis white men who have felt entitled, or maybe threatened by the gender binary. Education would benefit those who choose ignorance greatly. I forgot, they limit the understanding of gender binary discussions from curriculums because they are not important. 

When the topic of gender comes up, cis people (people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth) often weaponize science to justify the validity of the gender binary. They claim sex is biological and you can’t dispute that because science = fact. Alok touches on this in Beyond the Gender Binary and highlights a great point that “Societal beliefs about sex affect what questions scientists ask and the knowledge they gain. Scientific knowledge is not fixed-it shifts as cultural prejudice is revealed and challenged”. Scientific discoveries are made by humans, humans have biases, humans make mistakes, therefore science is flawed. Science has said white people are intellectually superior, and that Black women don’t feel pain, are these facts or white supremacist rhetoric inserted into the scientific field to push a prejudiced narrative? What makes this science argument even more invalid is the fact that science erases intersex people. Intersex anatomy is not shown in science textbooks, but intersex people are IN FACT real. Science is not the end all be all; stop invalidating nonconforming identities with invalid arguments.

             Another thing that upset me is the idea that feminine expression belongs to women and masculine expression belongs to men, along with the gendering of clothes. I am a cisgender woman, and even I find gender norms to be exhausting and uncomfortable, so I can only imagine how much worse it is for non-cisgender people. I don’t like being feminine in appearance, I don’t like getting my nails done, I don’t like tight fitting clothes, I don’t like high heels, I don’t like anything glam. Femininity feels like a performance to me, I know other women find it empowering, but to me, it feels oppressive. My gender expression leans more on the side of masculinity, but I still identify as a woman. I don’t need to look hyperfeminine to identify as such, that shouldn’t be an expectation of any woman cis or trans. I’m still woman even in “tomboy” attire. Jasmin H’s Snapshot 2 stood out to me because it said, “clothes have no gender” and I want the masses to realize that. All clothing is gender neutral.

            The last thing I want to touch on, and I’m borrowing from the term “white fragility” here, is cis-fragility. Society programmed into us the idea that there’s only two genders and they should each act a certain way and that conditioning has cis people by the necks. We’ve been fed the idea of the gender binary for so long that we’ve convinced ourselves that we came to this conclusion on our own. Cis people defend the gender binary as if we are being erases from existence, when we are the ones doing the erasing. Too often cis gendered people flip the script and play victim, Alok talks about this in their book. Cis people need to decenter themselves and listen to other people for a change. Gender is a social construct; so, if there’s a societal need for this concept to be more fluid then that need should be accommodated. 

Alok V. Manon does an amazing job at articulating the struggles many if not all non binary individuals face. Things cis gender people might deem as “normal” or “innate” become real life struggles for the gender non conforming, expanding to them even fearing for their lives. It’s crazy to think that a social construct could land some people to feel completely alienated and marginalized just for choosing not to conform to it. Gender is non consensually decided for most of us before we’re even born, forcing people like Alok and many others to feel restricted in the way they represent themselves, “Repression breeds insecurity breeds violence.” Alok writes as he recounts events of them getting severely bullied for dressing effeminate growing up. It’s then revealed that said bully contacted him years later to apologize, admitting that their own gender suppression lead them to act out against Alok for daring to be so open about his. Which goes to show that being so strict and sticking with these gender roles don’t truly benefit anyone, as they can breed insecurities that wouldn’t otherwise exist without them.

There are so many expectations and rules on how we should dress and act according to our gender, race, skin color ect. We are placed in a box. Those who think and act outside of the box are reprimanded and scolded by society. For example Alok’s experience of how people react to the way he dressed. People see a man in womens clothing, or vice versa. People stop and stare, they gawk and whisper, and voice the opinions that no one asked for by the way. He gets up and dresses for himself, today he chooses to wear a dress , tomorrow he chooses to wear shorts, it does not matter, the same way everyone wakes up and gets dressed how they want. But Alok and others are seen as outsiders and weird and it’s honestly no one’s business. 

In another universe on another planet, hypothetically , our society could be the complete opposite. Where it’s normal for men to wear women’s clothes, and women to wear mens clothing. But it’s outrages and blasphemy to see men wearing “mens’ ‘ clothes and women, “womens” clothes. Even then people are going to stop and stare, and make comments. Society is the one setting up these standards and expectations. It’s “wrong” because we said so, not because it was written or told to us by a “higher being”. 

It’s frustrating and angering that Alok is treated like an object to be reviewed and commented on. Comments such as “Is that your halloween costume” or “You’re doing this for attention right “ . Let people dress the way they want! And let us be whoever we want to be” Why does there have to be a label or category that we must fit into. The same things that are seen as “outside the box” can be turned into everyday norms . If a celebrity were to take the outfit that Alok wears and walk around the streets of Hollywood or Paris then “Oh yes of course it’s okay for Alok and anyone else to do it.” If his picture or video of him is seen on TikTok and goes viral and becomes a trend then there will no longer be rude and hateful comments. But it shouldn’t be that way. It doesn’t have to take these things in order to be accepted. It should already be a standard and norm.So many obstacles have to be overcome , but it all starts in society’s way of thinking, and breaking away from what “fits in the box.”

Allena snapshot stood out to me because when i look at the picture its sending a message that Non-binary people just want a seat at the table. They want to be respected and not look down on. Which I feel like was one of the many points Alok was trying to make in Beyond the Gender Bianary. Society normalized so many things that people aren’t willing to accept or even consider anything that doesn’t fall under a certain category. Parents tell their kids that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up but can’t accept what they choose to identify as? It’s one thing to not support something but to go out of your way to bash someone because of it is not okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but people fail to realize you can not support something and still be respectful of it. Everyone should be able to express themselves in whatever way they see fit. Which can look like a man wearing a skirt and makeup or a woman dressed in a suit with a tie on. That does not make them any less than anyone else. I didn’t realize how hard it was for people who chose to express themselves in a certain way regardless of their gender until Alok mentioned how “I cannot go outside without being afraid for my safety.”.. they/them continued to explain how “They are few spaces where I do not experience harassment for the way I look. Something as simple as running errands leads to strangers interrogating me because of my body, trying to find some way to explain why I look like this. “Are you dressed up for a theater production?” “Oh, it must be Fashion Week again!”. (Alok, 16). This showed me how much someone has to endure for simply expressing who they are. It takes some people years to find themselves. Imagine finally understanding and knowing who you are and having to hide it because of fear. A friend was over my house one day and we were watching the VMA performances. It was going so well until Lil Nas X came on performing. He immediately turned off the TV. I asked why and his response was “Didn’t you see what he was wearing and how he was acting?”. His boxers were bidazilled and he was dancing too “lady like” i’m assuming. This is another point Alok was trying to make that clothes have no gender. What you wear shouldnt define you. Then again before we were born everything was picked out for us from our gender down to the very thing we would wear when we were out of the womb. As Alok said “If you remove our clothing, our makeup, and our pronouns, underneath the surface we are just men and women playing dress up.” (Alok, 17). Which just goes to show how silly it is to put a gender on clothing muchless shame someone for wearing a certain clothing item.

Ever since the pandemic started I had a lot of free time on my hands to think about not only my sexuality but also my gender presentation. I had the opportunity to meet a group of friends who helped me understand all the new things I was discovering about myself. In recent months I “came out” to my family. I put “came out” in quotes only because the closet door was glass, I wasn’t hiding that part of myself I was very much openly queer since like the 5th grade. My friends and family knew I wasn’t only into men and that I didn’t fit perfectly into feminine roles but recently I was able to really put a label on everything that I was feeling both in the aspect of who I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with.

The first question that my cousin asked me was “How to use pronouns?” it was an easy explanation. The second question that came from another cousin was “Does this mean you’re transgender?” It wasn’t a difficult question to answer, but I did have to go into a deeper explanation of what being Non-binary and being Transgender meant. The conversation basically went about me telling my cousin that no I don’t want to go on hormones to change my body but that I wouldn’t mind getting a chest reduction and presenting either Masculine or Feminine whenever I wanted. That I didn’t care for pronouns that if someone wanted to refer to me as he or they, it didn’t bother me, but that there were some feminine terms that did bother me and I didn’t want them used to refer to me by. It was a long conversation but at the end of it, I felt like I was closer to my true self.

Name: Ellie, El

Pronouns: They/She/Him I don’t care! 😀

When I first saw Jasmin H’s snapshot of clothes have no gender, it reminded me of the first time I learned what nonbinary was and what it meant. It was in middle school and I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across this post of different images with different colors and clothes and flags. At first, I was confused because I didn’t know what any of that meant. I had never heard the term nonbinary or gender fluid in my life. Then I started to get interested. I clicked on one of the hashtags and it led me to more images similar that the one I just saw. It was interesting to learn that there were more than two genders out there and not everyone went by he/him she/her pronouns.