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In her critical overview of “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” (Activity 2) scholar Rena Korb discusses several different interpretative views of the story.
One interpretation reads the story as a sort of “inverted fairy tale.”
Other critics see the story as “a tale of initiation” into the evils of a depraved American culture.
Still others may read the story as a “feminist allegory.” Ideas in these interpretations often overlap, and there is no one simplistic key to understand the story.
With reference to the article by Korb, discuss your own understanding of the story, which may include ideas not mentioned by the critic.
Also, address comments to others by name so we can all follow along.
65 thoughts on “Week 13 Discussion”
There are a lot of words that I can use to describe how “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” made me feel. After all I have never read such a story that made so terrified for the main character and their future. To me the story was a fictional tale that reflects how dangerous it can be to be a young, gorgeous women in a toxic environment. This tale perfectly reflects some of the thing’s women must worry about in today’s society. They must worry about the way they dress, the way they talk, who they talk to, they even have to carry weapons to protect themselves against people with no self-control. This story in its essence is a story about toxicity and danger not just from strangers but also from family. This story also serves as a remainder to be cautious and smart about your surroundings and who you associate with because just because someone smiles, doesn’t mean that they are friendly in the way that you think.
Hello Giovanni,
I want to start off and say I 100% completely agree with you and your interpretation is absolutely amazing. How we as women do have to worry about how we dress, how we talk, how we walk and so much more. How we as woman simply fall victimized for just having a pretty smile or the same blue eyes as the next but ours are more feminine and more breathtaking. How its not safe to just talk to anyone in fact it doesn’t matter male or female but this story has a general overall meaning which you state “This story also serves as a remainder to be cautious and smart about your surroundings and who you associate with because just because someone smiles, doesn’t mean that they are friendly in the way that you think.” which I think that’s completely true and this is beautifully written.
Hello Giovanni
I’m totally agree with you. This story represent how the women needs to worry about literary everything like how we dress, how we talk, how we walk, how we act and how wet smile, those little thing that we are note suppose to worry about because it just representa how you are but yes, we need to worry about it and take care because like you say not because someone smiles to you means that they are friendly or kind.
Giovanni, I agree that this is one of the most chilling stories. For me, it’s because as a reader I feel like I am inside Connie’s skin. I can feel her terror. How was Joyce Carol Oates able to convey this visceral terror in words? I’m glad you mention family toxicity as well as societal toxicity. Connie’s family is dysfunctional, and she has never heard from her parents the words “Where are you going? Where have you been?”
Hey Giovanni, I totally agree with you and it saddens me a lot to think about the society we live in. A society where we have to keep weapons to stay safe is crazy to think about. But it is what it is. Nicely written. Goodluck
Hi Giovanni Wright,
I liked how you started the discussion by saying that the week’s reading was a “fictional tale.” Would you agree with me that we also see similar stories on the news now and then? And the writer was portraying the reality? I also liked how you pointed out the family. I agree that they do have a part in what happened to Connie. Most importantly, you expressed that stories show the concern we women have for living in society. But does the story make you think about the men and their behavior in society?
Hey Giovanni,
I agree with your response in totality. As I also said in my response women need to be cautious in toxic environments from dangerous people. We both stated that these dangerous people lack self control which is the perfect word to describe them as because they do what they desire and need to put a leash on it. These women are forced to carry weapons’ and be cautious when walking.
While reading “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” it made me feel as a woman how terrifying the world around us can be and how much we are sexualized just by our presence. How dangerous it can become just by us as woman being categorized living in an environment with people that tend to lust over one another. This tale makes a good connection with what happens in this world and how people can be naive with being lured into traps. This tale focuses on how a teenage girl is clearly in the stages of loving herself and uplifting herself, but shows how a person is always being watched which can tend to lead into and usually resulting into one getting hurt. We have to worry about how we look and how we interact with people because sometimes we give off the wrong message just by being friendly and smiling. This tale revolves around the nature of not being so comfortable with everybody you meet because not everyone has the same interest as you, that some people hide in plain sight but can be dangerous towards society and if you don’t pay attention to your surroundings you can fall victimized without realizing you’ve might’ve sparked their interest.
Hello Samijahrodriguez, I can totally relate to what you say. As women are constantly sexualized, sometimes we do not feel safe in our own homes. I think we can also see this in the story how Connie was manipulated and even her house becomes unfamiliar to her. We can also see that men have a power to dominate women. From this story, we can learn that women are victims of sexual harassment and we have to be careful of how we interact with people.
Samijah, yes, this is a cautionary tale to young women. It’s also a commentary on how women are raised without sufficient information about danger. Then, it can also be seen as an allegory about innocence versus evil. Connie’s head is full of daydreams and ideas about boys and sex gleaned from romantic movies and songs. No one has educated her about the world, and she is totally unprepared for the likes of Arnold Friend.
Hey samijahrodriguez, I agree with you, everyone must be vigilant in outside. Be wary of strangers and don’t be greedy for petty bargains. This kind of trap is often to tempt you.
Hello Samijah, I hope you’re having a great day. I just want to express my apologies if you’ve ever gone through something like what was discussed in the story. It’s really irritating that this fictional story expresses something that people go through on a daily basis. It also expresses how women are viewed and used in the real world. It is dangerous to be a woman in the 21st century, why? Because there men out there who believe that they can do whatever they want without facing adversity. Women are perceived as weak in our society and that is far from the truth. This country was built n the backbone of powerful women who never took crap from misogynistic men. I applaud all the women in the world because you are all powerful.
To me, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is a realistic fiction. This story reminds me of teenage years; the constant disagreement between a mother and a daughter, and of innocence. As a fifteen-year-old, Connie does not know well of the dangers that lurks at places that she goes to—the drive restaurant. Her version of fun and love is all a fantasy, but she did not realize this sooner. Then again, there is no one in her life who is willing to warn her of the dangers exist. Especially for someone who is self-centered and cares most about her appearance, she does not know that we cannot judge someone by the way they look. I would say that her family is quite ignorant. Her mother scolds her for small little things, but she does not mind Connie going out late at night. The same goes for her father, and her friend’s father, and even her sister. Since her sister is almost ten years older than her, and is a “perfect” person praised by everyone, she also has the responsibility to care for her only little sister. Connie’s family failed to do this, resulting in Connie being a victim of a pedophile. Moreover, Connie doesn’t seem to have a very affectionate home life, which might also be the reason she cares about her looks, and romanticizing in fairytale loves. This is a story to raise awareness about the perpetrators, and warn parents to educate their children about what they should and shouldn’t do, especially in their teenage years. The story also shows the harassment that almost every girl has encountered. Something Connie faced in the story is scary and creepy even for a woman, and having to imagine a young girl has to go through that, her innocence striped away from her, and everything she once knew shattered left her empty. And in the end, without further argument, she gave in to Arnold Friend, and gave herself up. It is a very sad and touching story which shows that this could happen to anyone, so it is better to be prepared for cases like these, by telling children to beware of strangers, and to always keep a small weapon with us.
Thin, thanks for the good comments. I like your observations about Connie’s family and home life. It seems to me they are at the heart of the problems. As you write, her mother spends all her time picking on her rather than educating her. The father is absent. He reminds me a little of Bailey in “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” And I think you’re right that the dysfunction of her family is part of why Connie indulges in naive and romantic fantasies. It’s touching that at the end of the story, nonetheless, Connie’s thoughts are of her mother and how she will never see her again.
Hi Thin, I was really impressed with your minute observation of Connie’s psyche. You discussed a very important point: the association of a mother with her children’s always matters a lot. The reason you find for Connie’s fantasies and narcissism is the lack of attention from her mother, father, and sister. So as a result, she starts romanticizing and exaggerating. If her mother has a good collaboration with her, then surely she discussed everything with her. I really like your statement when someone who is self-centered and cares most about their appearance cannot analyze another person’s eyes and impressions. So appearance is always deceptive. We cannot judge anyone’s intentions by their physical appearance, but they are always ready to face any kind of situation boldly and keep a secret weapon with themselves.
Hello, Thin. You are totally right. When we are a teenager, we often have conflicts with our parents as well. We don’t listen to our parents what they tell us. Family is an important part in our life. They directly form our value. This is a sad story. After reading the story, I realize that female should learn how to protect themselves. They have to learn protect themselves in any situations.
Where are you going, where have you been? It made me feel many things, it made me feel a lot of empathy, it made me feel the fear of being a woman. I have read many stories but none represented as much fear as this one to its main character and life. This story, in my opinion, is a narration of the fear and danger that a woman must face every day, as a bacon environment seriously affects a young and beautiful woman. Women should worry about many things in our society, how we act, how we talk, how we walk, how we dress and how to smile to achieve a little protection in these toxic and uncontrolled people. Not only strangers are dangerous for a woman, even her own family can be even more dangerous than a stranger that is why the woman has that touch of mistrust as well as herself and the rest. Not everyone who claims to be your friend really is, not everyone who smiles at you means that he is good and kind.
Ivanna, thanks for the comments. You seem to agree with the others in your view of this story as a cautionary tale for young girls as well as for parents responsible for those girls.
hey Ivanna, I agree with you, in a harsh environment you must know how to protect yourself. Sometimes the tragedy is caused by the negligence of the parents.
Hey Ivanna,
I agree with your response because it is very similar to mine. Women are facing their fear from dangerous people on a everyday basis because of the way they want to dress or talk. Many things that a women does could be a spark for a person with low self control so she is forced to protect herself and be cautious when out in public.
Hello Ivanna,
I want to start off by saying I completely agree with you it does create a fear as being a woman. It’s scary being in a world where we as woman have to protect ourselves so much because of the things we as woman can’t control. The story made us feel empathy, we felt the fear through the narration it made us feel as if we know that feeling. I also agree with you saying that sometimes even family can be dangerous sometimes people fear their family member(s) more than they would fear a stranger. That’s not something that’s always touched upon but you stated some interesting points.
In the story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” byJoyce Carol Oates. This story reflects the terrifying nature of reality. In this terrible environment, a 15-year-old beautiful young girl did not know the dangers of this society. Due to family reasons, she didn’t understand many things, and she was drawn into this society ignorantly. Connie became a victim without the protection of her family. This story makes me feel a little uncomfortable, and it also makes me realize that it is not easy for girls in the old society. In my opinion, children at this age must be educated by their parents to avoid this terrible experience. Through this story, everyone must be vigilant in outside. Be wary of strangers and don’t be greedy for petty bargains. Especially female, must be know how to protect yourself. Although modern times are relatively safe, but the female still need to be careful.
Hi Shihao, I agree that this story warns people to be careful of their interactions with each other, but I would take it a step further to say that it specifically cautions women. I read this story from a “feminist allegory” and “tale of initiation” point of view, as discussed in Korb’s article, and as I was reading, I was brought back to specific instances in my life, when I have felt threatened. Specifically when Arnold told Connie to “Be a good girl,” (Oates), I found myself to be quite upset and concerned for her safety as a woman.
The short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates was eery and felt defeating to me, as a woman. As I read this story, I was brought back to a specific moment in my life where I was made very felt uncomfortable by a man who was threatening me. This is a memory I think many women can relate to, and have their own instances of. When Arnold spoke to Connie saying, “Now you be a good girl” (Oates), and “Seen you that night and thought, that’s the one, yes sir. I never needed to look anymore” (Oates),I felt my breath go short, as hers was in the moment. After reading the Korb’s article on the short story, I lean towards the notion that this story is a feminist allegory, and a tale of initiation. In the story, Connie is both exposed to threat against women, and quickly becomes a victim.
“Where are you going, Where have you been” reading this story gave me a disgusted feeling thinking about how hard it is for women to live in a society like this where they can’t flaunt their beauty because someone might take it in a wrong way. And in this story its a small teen girl who only knows little about the world and does mostly things she sees others doing. This story felt really dark to me and the ending was sad and horrifying. Overall, I’d say this is one of those Genre that I would not like to ready everyday but once a while to keep the reality in check.
The reading of the week was quite eccentric, and it made me relate this story with the one we read on week 8, “A Good Man is Hard to Find.” Honestly, I was lost most of the time with the details meant to enrich the protagonist’s terror. Yet, after reading the critical overview by the scholar Rena Korb, I cannot deny that the story reveals itself to be deeper than I had first judged it to be.
I will briefly explore the last interpretation mentioned in the introduction of the discussion board.
Reading this story as a feminist allegory is my favorite form to interpret the story Because it portraited a reality seen far too many times among us women. The first point I would like to highlight is the personality of the teenager. Connie had an innocent mentality by going to places where she did not belong, spending time, or getting away from her family. Furthermore, living a double life and getting into older boys’ cars without questioning if those actions would come to have a consequence.
The second point is how the encounter with a man and the decision to live home because of him defines the woman’s destiny for the rest of her life. I am not sure if I could put the meaning I am looking for; therefore, I will further illustrate. Many of us women must have seen or heard a story of a woman who left everything for a man. Those stories were particularly shocking and common to me since I grew up surrounded by poverty. Reports of many young women who give up their lives with their families because of poverty or because they feel they are not loved or went into adventure and got pregnant with one guy. The saddest part is at the end when they see that the guy who was meant to be sweet turned out to be a nightmare, and he does not care for her. He perhaps is just like the other uncaring lover she met at a certain level that he confuses her futures features with ones from other girls, as seen at the end of the story. The story does not go further to see what happened to Connie, but usually, there is no turning back. As we see so much these days, the guy will hold her violently, psychologically, or financially.
Hi Deanne, this story also reminded me of “A Good Man Is Hard To Find” as the most thrilling aspects of the story are when the protagonist is engaging in conversation with the mysterious antagonist. I would like to think Connie survived this encounter or perhaps they just went on an innocent ride. But unfortunately these were probably Connie’s last moments alive as Arnold is based on a serial killer who preys on teenage girls. Connie’s only crime is her ignorance and poor understanding of the world based on her superficiality.
“Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is such a riveting tale with many deep themes and many potential interpretations. I love how the ending is intentionally vague and open ended. It wasn’t until after reading Korb’s analyst that I discovered this story is based on a serial killer who preyed on teenage girls. Without knowing that my initial interpretation is that Connie was having a moment of realization that was bought to her by immense fear and being put in a life threatening situations. Connie is described to be extremely superficial and identifies heavily with her beauty and doesn’t look at the world beyond superficial appearances. Oates even writes, “She knew she was pretty and that was everything.” The realization being that her identification with her looks and superficial world view was false, Oates writes “She thought for the first time in her life that it was nothing that was hers, that belonged to her, but just a pounding, living thing inside this body that wasn’t really hers either.”
Upon discovering Arnold is based on a serial killer, these realization are too little too late. This reminded me of the grandmother’s moment of grace in “A Good Man Is Hard To Find,” as her moment of epiphany occurs right before a brush with death. It was Connie’s superficiality that caused her to engage Arnold, and allowed him to trap her. Perhaps if this epiphany were to happen sooner she would have the where with all to realize she was in danger, not entertain Arnold, and escape.
Until the very last sentence of the story, I was waiting for Connie to get her strengths together to fight against Arnold’s unspeakable desires. However, it ended the way real life stories end – in horrific banality – where predator finally gets to the prey. My interpretation of the story focuses specifically on the banality of very horrific story. I saw how easy it was for Arnold to get teenage girl into his “arms.” The first thing I started thinking about is the ways in which society reacts to such incidents. In this case, they would feel sorry for this little girl but I am sure that some people would still judge Connie for even talking to the strange man. By reading this story, I can feel Conny’s emotions because I can put myself into her shoes – I think every girl (not only the girls) can tell you their story related to this issue, it may not be as bad as Connie’s story, however it allows us to feel empathy for the character.
Obviously, we can also highlight the role of unsupportive family as well as the role of harsh reality that belongs to our culture (not only American) whether we like it or not. Still, I paid most attention to ordinariness of the story – girl who’s drying her hair in the sun is the victim of social violence when the sun goes down – and all these happened very simply, Arnold talked little girl into sitting in the car.
After reading the short story ” Where are you going, Where have you been ? ” I have decided that this story is a realistic fiction. This story makes me feel sorry and bad for what women have to go through on a regular basis. Specifically a young beautiful woman has to be cautious with everything she says and does because it is dangerous in a bunch of environments around the world due to people who lack self control and common sense. This story talks about how people may perceive a woman who dresses a specific way even though it should not be an issue at all. Due to all of these weird and selfish people in the world woman are almost forced to carry weapons’ and have a third eye whenever they are out in public.
Hi Alexsander,
Thank you for your analysis on the story and connection to the struggles, judgment, and harm women face daily. Shouldn’t women be able to dress how they please? It is freedom of expression. Women should always have the chance to feel comfortable with what they wear. Women should not have to dress modestly to gain respect. The problem is misogyny. There is a need for society to see women as human beings and honor that.
“Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” is about a girl who comes across a mysterious man and is forced to make a decision that will end her innocence. She is young and easily manipulated. An evil entity (Arnold Friend) – in the disguise of a handsome, charming man – has driven up to a girl’s home. She is in the transitional phase of teen girl to young woman. She is home alone with no one to guide or help her. Fairy-tale dreams is what she’s heard of. But not all men are Prince Charming.
Her instincts start to slowly kick in. Something does not seem right. She is becoming unsure of her conversation with Arnold Friend. The only thing protecting her in this case is a screen door she must stay behind. Home is where she if safe. But she wants to rebel and experience freedom. Her home is no longer a form of protection. She must go with him and learn for herself.
Hey, I
I wanted add on to your analysis I as really enjoyed it.
Arnold is, in a way, one of the commentaries by Oates on popularity and trends. He has a statement on his car, he uses common catchphrases at the time, but they aren’t quite right, he is also too old to be into trends, in particular, the pop music at the time. Or, Arnold can be read as an amalgamation of traits that Connie found attractive in other boys, because she comments on how familiar Arnold is – because she has seen these traits before on other people. Whatever Friend is, he is a composite of what Connie considers attractive, but because it is fake, it does not work. This demonstrates Oates’s critical commentary on what it means to follow the next fad, even when said fad isn’t quite right. All of this makes the reader wonder if Connie was asking for this all along, or rather, did the monster manifest because of her vanity and her taking life for granted? Connie is described as having a walk for home and a walk from when she is out and about with friends. Whether or not this duplicity in her character and her lack of sincerity and honesty actually comes back to hurt her in this way is up to readers to decide as Oates (still alive, btw) keeps the secret of this story behind closed doors.
My personal understanding of the story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is that a girl is influenced and overpowered by a man as a guise of a psychological change and internal conflict that young girls have to deal with to enter adulthood. The reader can able to see various points that the author has made on the psychological processes of Connie from feeling confident, and self-conscious, to weakness. As the story begins, the relationship around Connie helps define her character and her mentality. Then, the appearance of Arnold Friend represents the desire that being awakened and physically confronted. The story ultimately ends with Connie’s psyche being threatened and subdued to desire and power. Through this psychological struggle and conflict, the author helps raise a point of how hard, suffocated, and tempted the adult world is. Not only that, the story is a great message to reflect and mock the society where media romanticize the reality of the world and sex being the only road to adulthood for young girls.
In this week’s reading, “Where Are You Going, Where Have you been” makes me feel scary. The main character Connie conflicts with her family and efforts to make herself sexually attractive are part of search for independence. It is sad that her mother keeps nagging her. She is 15 and dependent on her parents for cares. In one night, she spends her time with a boy named Eddie. However, when a man smiles at her and says, “Gonna get you, baby,” he notices nothing. It is very dangerous for a girl go out alone. They should never go out alone and talk with strange. Connie’s parents are irresponsible. Her father spends a lot of time to work and rarely talk to her. As parents, they should talk to their kids more and ask what problem they have. Don’t start taking to them until they made big mistakes.
Hello deli wu, I agree with you, this is a terrifying story. The main character was like a bird trying to fly while her wings were still growing in. Her family was indeed neglectful and irresponsible towards her. The man who ends up committing horrendous acts towards her was like a prince of darkness instead of the prince charming who would had saved her from that situation. There’s other lens that you could use to view this story under.
When you finish reading ” Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been ?” you feel so many emotions that it is hard to pick words to describe this reading. For me I was able to say it made me feel helpless and terrified for Connie. When reading this story you feel terrified for Connie has she is confronted by these older men while she is home alone.These guys were very creepy and had mixed personalities. Arnold Friend will be calm talking to Connie and then in a quick instant he would act aggressive towards Ellie. During this interaction it made me see my version of how i understood the story which is that even at your own house you can still be vulnerable. Connie had the door closed and made sure she had an eye on the guys but as Arnold Friend said ” This place you are now—inside your daddy’s house—is nothing but a cardboard box I can knock down any time. You know that and always did know it. You hear me?”. This scene gave me chills hearing what he said that even at your own house he can knock it over making it seem that the only place anyone considered safe can be destroyed and can leave you helpless any time this person desires.
Hi Antonio, I like your analysis because you incorporated your own feeling into it, describing how you felt helpless for her, which by the way I agree with. I was afraid to keep reading simply because I thought it was going to end up horrible for Connie. But I also like how you spoke mainly on the interaction during the climax. You were able to pinpoint the obvious while still offering your emotions and logic.
My understanding of the story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is that a young lady is impacted and overwhelmed by a man as a pretense of a mental change and interior struggle that youngsters need to manage to enter adulthood. The peruser can ready to see different focuses that the writer has made on the mental cycles of Connie from feeling sure, and unsure, to shortcoming. As the story starts, the relationship around Connie characterizes her person and her mindset. Then, at that point, the presence of Arnold Friend addresses the craving that being stirred and truly stood up to. The story eventually finishes with Connie’s mind being undermined and repressed to want and power. Through this mental battle and struggle, the creator helps raise a state of how hard, choked, and enticed the grown-up world is. Not just that, the story is an incredible message to reflect and taunt the general public where media romanticize the truth of the world and sex being the main street to adulthood for youngsters.
While reading this “ Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” when it’s regarding woman it gave a sense of uneasiness regarding women and expectation. There are people who need each other and can be classified as women in a dangerous environment. In this story it self you can see how it correlates with our everyday society connection between what’s going on in this world and how people are easily deceived if caught. The story focuses on a reality in which a young girl is clearly on the cusp of taking care of herself and being uplifted, but her personality seems to be under constant scrutiny. We have to manage the way we see people and our relationships with them so that they can be kind, smile, and send out unique messages. This story has roughly to do with the fact that not everyone you meet isn’t comfortable because not everyone has the same interface as you. Some people avert their eyes, but it can pose a danger to society. You can prey on them without even knowing they might catch them.
Joyce Carol Oates’s “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” reads to me on several levels. In its own twisted way, it can be seen as a coming-of-age story, a story about our teenage protagonist Connie’s loss of innocence. I say “twisted” as it is likely that she will be murdered after being raped. Yet, her character matures at blistering speed in these last moments of her existence. I see it as being mainly a psychological horror story, with tropes such as the safe haven of home becoming the scene of an imminent threat and loss of control at the hands of what seems to be an almost supernatural entity, Arnold Friend. There is an “uncanny valley” aspect to his character. He is duplicitous, hiding his true intentions behind a smile. Everything he presents himself as is fake, from his appearance to his demeanor: his height, his age, his congeniality, his harmlessness, his intentions, etc. Like many horror stories, the protagonist is a young woman, and the plot serves as a cautionary tale. What is particularly notable here is that there is no need for actual physical coercion from Arnold, but just the threat of it, to lure Connie to her demise. This can be read as a feminist subtext, highlighting that the violence of the patriarchy is omnipresent and forces consent out of women. There is a critic of the empty materialism of the American way of life, with Connie dating countless faceless men, the family unit being emotionally toxic to everybody involved, and the predatory behavior of heterosexual males. Unlike what Rena Korb pointed out in her overview of the text, I do not find the character of Connie particularly “likeble”(sic). She is also shape-shifting, manipulating people around her, albeit not to the extent of rape and murder. There is an utterly nihilistic feeling about the fact that no character seems to have a redeeming quality, unlike in the previous murder story we studied. I found this lack of humanity made it hard to connect to the protagonist. Yet, I was entirely taken when the terror started creeping in. The moment where she saw the car come into her house’s parkway and could only think of her appearance was a genuinely ironic moment.
My understanding of the story is largely in line with the it being a feminist allegory. I can see how it could be depicting the depravity of American culture, but I wouldn’t consider it an “initiation” as I don’t think Connie is pleased with the ending of this story, and is going out of defeat rather than desire. It’s sad that, at the very beginning of this story, one can already tell what largely what it will be about, and that just goes to show how hard it is for women when it comes to being sexualized by men in society. There is no real surprise here, save for potentially the very end, and that highlights just how relatable and true in society this story is for women reading it. While that is supportive of the depravity of American culture, I think that this is why it’s a feminist allegory; it shows how women can be victims of men in society in a relatable way as a call for change.
Hello Emily,
As this story is narrated through the point of view of a young girl, I empathized with her and understood Connie. It goes to show how vulnerable you are as a young women in this society. I agree that this story is a commentary on American culture, which in itself is a commentary on feminism. In the way our society works, women our treated as less, reduced to objects rather than humans. Connie is only fifteen years old, but is still sexualized, which shows just how messed up our society is.
Hi, Emily
My understanding of the story is that it was leading more towards a tale of initiation into the evils of a depraved American culture but I appreciated your analysis on the understanding of the story. I agree that it shows how women are harassed by men and fear men in society today. So feminist allegory fits pretty well with the plot of the story because Connie is harassed and sexualized by a grown man when she is still only a child. To be honest this doesn’t surprise me because girls no matter their age have to face this injustice and it’s not fair to them or any other girl.
Just like the article shows, I have many viewpoints on “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”. Reading this story during class was unnerving and left me feeling honestly disgusted, and that was what it was supposed to do. Upon reflection, I agree with the article at its base, is a “finely crafted” story. It kept me constantly on edge, watching the man slowly unpeel into the deplorable human he actually was, especially when Connie had gotten close and realized he was aged with caked on makeup. I interpreted this story also as a feminist commentary, showing how you can never be safe in your surroundings, even in your own home as a young girl. Connie was torn apart not only by the men at the mall, but also by her own mother. Misogyny runs deep. This story also to me is a commentary on the immoral nature of humans. How are you supposed to trust anyone? People are constantly being deceived by those around them, their true intentions hidden. The mother constantly compared her to her sister and belittled her, yet would also treat her like a bestfriend, not knowing how her mother felt, and the man acted like a smooth talker to get Connie to comply, yet was plotting to take advantage of her.
Hello Caroline,
I too was unnerved in class while listening to the story. Actually, I left the class a bit paranoid. It is really disgusting that people like Arnold Friend exist. I agree that this story is ”finely crafted”. The subtle build-up is unbeatable. I had no idea how this typical tale of an American teen would turn horrific. I could empathize with Connie’s terror as the man began to expose his true intentions. Uncontrollably, I would have been shuddering in my bones.
I appreciate you stating the reality of not being able to be safe even in your own home. That is true, scary, and very sad. Truly we ask, ”How are you supposed to trust anyone?”. The man who just walked past me in the park could have killed someone last night. Or the woman sitting opposite me on the bus could be a child molester. Who knows? And how scary that is to me.
Truly it did not help that her mother was always on her neck. I know how that feels. I like how the author made the characters real and very relateable.
I believe the essence of this story is to depict the ” violent and unattractive” reality that plagues the human experience. Connie’s destruction came too soon, unduely, unfortunately. She was a young, fine, wild life trying to achieve the teenage dream- ”the way it was in movies and promised in songs”. As opposed to being swayed off her feet by ”Prince Charming”, she was targeted by the ”Prince of Darkness” in disguise of a ”boy with shaggy black hair”.In the ”actual conditions around”, there creeps such as Arnold Friend who desire nothing but to ”kill, steal and destroy” walking in our midst. Oates’ does a good job in sending this message by illustrating the danger of failing to warn the young and adventurous of the troubles they may face in a merciless and unpredictable world. Cleary, it is important for parents and elders to provide sound ”moral guidance” to youth.
Through this story, Oates does the duty of a writer by acting as a ”conscience” of her nation. She knows that too often, America is illustrated as a ”prettier place” than it actually is. To side with truth, she decides to stick with reality by using her writing to protray ”honest” view of what the ”American experience is really like”. Full of uncertainty and sorrow. Personally, I believe this reality is not soley America’s, but the world’s as a whole. Sick things happen. And it doesn’t help if the media strives to ”pacify the viewing public”.
Strategically, Oates uses a main character that is ”familiar enough” to ”earn” my ”empathy”. I too have been swayed by the ” romantic delusions” of fairtytles and the like. Like Connie, I have experienced the thrill of beliveing that I was cool to fool my ‘simple’ mother; sneakily mastering the art of having an ”identity for home and one for “anywhere that was not home,”. However, the freshness wears out once one tastes the consequences of ”being places” where one ”doesn’t belong”. By using relatable charcaters and ”psychological realism” that brings the charcaters to life, the story snaps me into our present reality. A reality in which prudence and discretion is key.
At its core, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, is about a girl being kidnapped by a monster. One of the underlying facts is that Connie is attractive, with her vanity being an aspect that constantly gets her into trouble. She revels in the fact that she and her friends can be dishonest and not be held accountable for their actions much to the admonishment of Connie by her mother. Their relationship remains strained, as Connie’s mother constantly compares Connie to her older sibling, June. The sisters aren’t shown interacting in the story, but it’s clear Connie sees her sister as of little note, likely because of Connie’s constant beratement by her mother and her own vanity, with Connie describing June as “plain and chunky” (Oates). This familial bond isn’t aided by Connie’s father, who is shown as very unaffectionate towards the rest of the family.
There are many possibilities as to what exactly Arnold represents in the story. There are lines that strongly insinuate that Arnold is representative of the devil: He has standing, noted by the line, “…but again he almost lost his balance. He had to bend and adjust his boots. Evidently his feet did not go all the way down; the boots must have been stuffed with something so that he would seem taller.” It’s as if he has hooves, noted by the line “One of his boots was at a strange angle, as if his foot wasn’t in it. It pointed out to the left, bent at the ankle.” Another thing about Arnold that seems a little terrifying is that he knows exactly where Connie’s family is and the exact activities they’re partaking in – this omniscience lends credence to Arnold being a devil like figure.
Last thing of note here is the story’s title. This story resembles the Greek myth of Persephone being abducted by Hades, the god of death. I’ve wondered if Oates was thinking of that when she wrote it as this story was originally titled “Death and the Maiden,” (article below) – though that could just be a coincidence like this next part.
https://celestialtimepiece.com/2016/10/10/where-are-you-going-where-have-you-been-and-smooth-talk-short-story-into-film/
There is the one moment where Arnold points to the numbers on his car and says that they’re representative of a special code: 33 19 17. Here’s something a pretty profound: in the Old Testament, counting the books backwards from the last, the 33rd book is Judges. Going to Judges, chapter 19, verse 17 reads, “And when he had lifted up his eyes, he saw a wayfaring man in the street of the city: and the old man said, Whither goest thou? and whence comest thou?” (Old Testament, Judges 19:17) or in a more modern translation, “And when he raised his eyes, he saw the traveler in the open square of the city; and the old man said, “Where are you going, and where do you come from?” (New King James Version, Judges 19:17).
I know this response came right before its due, but I really wanted this analysis to include that last bit about Judges as it’s very important to me being religious and what Oates thought since she is, fortunately, still alive. I wanted to make sure this response had the proper amount of time it needed to be good and I’d really like to her your response, Professor.
Hello Gamby,
Fascinating reply. I loved your analysis of Arnold Friend’s appearance evoking the Devil as well. His character gave me somewhat of an “uncanny valley” feeling, but I didn’t make that connection before reading the article then your reply.
You provided an interesting fact about that Bible verse. It is funny that it is a wandering “old man” uttering these words when in this story, it is an older (relative to our teenage protagonist) wandering man providing the answer to the first question for her with his words and actions.
I wonder if there is something more profound about these two questions that comprise the title. The apparent meaning is in its absence, at least from the people who should have been asking these questions, i.e., Connie’s neglectful parents. But suppose this story is to have a more allegorical meaning about the soul of America, since Connie is the archetype of the shallow 50s-60s teenager, therefore of the youth. In that case, these questions could be read as a meditation on where the country is going and its history of violence coming to haunt it.
Gamby, thank you for providing the biblical quote that goes with the numbers on Arnold’s car. It’s very chilling, and also suggest the deep symbolism the author has embedded into the narrative. There are things in the story that also point back to this quote such as when Arnold alludes to the place from which Connie has left and the place to which she is going. Also, she has lost all sense of anyplace she knows. Thank you again for this interesting information!
My understanding of the story was that it was simply an awareness to individuals. To be fairly honest, at first I didn’t know the main point of the story, and I probably still am having trouble. But from what I read, I think it’s to show individuals that poor relationships with family (parents specifically)can result in challenges and trauma that could’ve been avoided; Not that these challenges won’t happen either way. In Connie’s case, she was very lucky that it ended without her being harmed. I also think the point is to portray that females, especially young ones, still have much to learn and be aware of in this life. The plot begins with descriptions of Connie, portraying her as two-sided. “Everything about her had two sides to it, one for home and one for anywhere that was not her home”(Oates). This can be seen as the issue that led to her potential harm. However, reading Korb’s analysis, I immediately agreed with the idea of it being an “inverted fairy tale”. It makes sense considering she has a bad relationship with her parents, she goes out places she’s not supposed to, and she acts different out of home. In a normal fairy tale, the prince would go looking for his princess, but in this one, the “princess” was found not by her prince, but by what Korb’s referred to as the devil. Someone who was looking not to make her life better, but to ruin or potentially end it.
Hello Antasia, Your analysis of this story is so great. I can see why you said the your understanding of the story is about individual awareness. She had so much trauma and it is sad that this was one of them. While reading it you can see why people say that Arnold can be the devil because this is such a horrible experience that no one should experience.
While reading “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” so many emotions went through my body. This Short story made me realize why Females are so terrifying living there daily life or doing simple things in society now such as walking past a group of men, going to the gas station after daylight, or even to be in a parking lot alone. In addition this short story always makes me realize a parent words have so much meaning in a Childs life, I feel this way because if Connies mother or father would’ve told her the basic such as you can’t think everyone that smiles at you is nice or you have to protect yourself at all times.This tale just shows me that women are always target by men in real life and realistic fiction.
While reading “Where are you going, Where have you been?” I experienced a mix of emotions between being worried for the main character and pure horror. I was so scared for the future of the main character because of how she was treated by the people who were supposed to love her the most. I think the story was mostly “a tale of initiation” into the evils of a depraved American culture because Connie from the beginning of the story had the odds against her and was constantly looked down upon because of how beautiful she looked. Her own mother was envious of her and treated her poorly because Connie reminded her of what she didn’t have anymore. She later in the story becomes a victim of harassment that many women go through in society. The way that the main character is raised she is accustomed to the behavior that Arnold does, so she is able to overcome the fear of the situation in order for her family to be safe. This story also shows how people should never forget how evil the world actually is and forget that can be a difference between life or death.
Hi Rances Vasquez I agree with you that is the world is evil and there are some evil people who give innocent people trouble and they become happy that’s why we have to be safe from this kind of mindset and protect ourselves and protect our family. While reading the story I was also scared like you said because I was reading this story at 1 Am and in my room, there was only me and I got a little scared from this story but the overall story was interesting and knowledgeable. Where the main character girl has to become a victim even though she was innocent I feel bad at her side.
I enjoyed a lot studying the story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” The Story was little horror and terrifying where the main character of the story, young and beautiful 15-year girl named Connie, was a daydreamer and dramatic daughter. She was also attractive and so lovely when the Boy named Addy was following and bothering her. She seemed to help less where the Story makes a horror scene. And Story shows that how women are attacked by mental criminals and make them a victim. But the Story was also supernatural because finally the boy Eddie turns to a vampire and but at the beginning of the Story he was showing a fake smile and trying to attract the innocent girl. The story’s central theme is to educate the young generation like us who hadn’t been through this kind of situation. This is the alarm to be careful of our surroundings. Because there are so many people who show us fake smiles and try to control us from their evil power, which is hidden inside them, thats why we have to protect ourselves in this selfish world and be safe from the victim mindset and criminal mindset.
In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”, it helped me experience a variety of emotions, including a great deal of sensitivity. The frightening essence of reality is portrayed in this story. Inside this dreadful situation, a young girl was completely unconscious of society’s dangers. She didn’t comprehend a lot of things because of her family, and she was unintentionally lured into this lifestyle. I’m not sure how I really feel about this whole narrative, however, it helps me realize that life for young people was really tough and still is. This narrative explores how others may react to a woman who looks in a certain way, despite the fact that it should not be a concern. You may not get along with everybody you encounter, and they will not have the same mind set you have.
Where are you going? Where have you been? Is a short and insufferable story that describes the bitter and realistic journey of life in a fictional way? This story reminds us of the fictional and traditional ways of dealing with a mother and her young daughter. Mothers are always cautious about the teen years of their daughters because at that time they have to face many psychological and physical changes. Connie’s mother tried very hard to control her, even rebuking her, but she did not realize it. She always loved to live in a romantic and fairy world. Connie, in my opinion, likes to live in delusions because she did not receive attention, proper care, and love from her family. As a result, she becomes the victim of a pedophile attack. But her world of fantasies was shattered very soon when she was confronted with Arnold’s friend. She asked him, “What do you want? He whispered, “I want you.” It showed that a woman was safe to go anywhere. So it is parents’ duty and obligation to keep proper check and balance and vigilant eyes on each activity of their kids. This story is actually a mouthpiece for Carol’s overview of society. It gives a lesson to every parent that society is very cruel and harsh and leaves them naked and shattered. Don’t rely on anyone, even inside or outside of your home. This is a very pathetic story that shows that it can happen to anyone, so prepare yourself to tackle any situation and be careful in order to be
be frank with anyone.
Where are you going? Where have you been? Is a short and insufferable story that describes the bitter and realistic journey of life in a fictional way? This story reminds us of the fictional and traditional ways of dealing with a mother and her young daughter. Mothers are always cautious about the teen years of their daughters because at that time they have to face many psychological and physical changes. Connie’s mother tried very hard to control her, even rebuking her, but she did not realize it. She always loved to live in a romantic and fairy world. Connie, in my opinion, likes to live in delusions because she did not receive attention, proper care, and love from her family. As a result, she becomes the victim of a pedophile attack. But her world of fantasies was shattered very soon when she was confronted with Arnold’s friend. She asked him, “What do you want? He whispered, “I want you.” It showed that a woman was safe to go anywhere. So it is parents’ duty and obligation to keep proper check and balance and vigilant eyes on each activity of their kids. This story is actually a mouthpiece for Carol’s overview of society. It gives a lesson to every parent that society is very cruel and harsh and leaves them naked and shattered. Don’t rely on anyone, even inside or outside of your home. This is a very pathetic story that shows that it can happen to anyone, so prepare yourself to tackle any situation and be careful in order to be frank with anyone.
Hello Amr, thank you for your post. You focused on the role Connie’s parents had in the story. From my personal viewpoint, I would not say that it is the main point of the story but it surely plays a huge role. The reason I say that it’s not the main point is that there are a lot of families with caring parents, whoever I do not think that it prevents children from such experiences. If Connie’s mother was attentive and loving, I cannot say that Connie wouldn’t be a victim. Also, I wouldn’t say that mother is not loving, I would say that she should have been more involved in her daughter’s life. As for the Connie, I would say that almost everyone at her age, acts the same way – maybe we all were living in a fairytale where all we wanted was attention from our surroundings.
My own understanding of the story is that it’s a warning about the dangers of strangers. This was written during a time where computers and communication were not as prevalent as today. Considering how desensitized we are towards the idea of being weary towards new people, it would be a completely alien idea to the people in that time period. How many times have you heard your parents tell you to be careful when you were younger or when they asked where you were when you came home late. Even if your parents weren’t there or you didn’t have any guardians to tell you that, if you had some friends who had your best interests, they would advice you to stay around dodgy areas. This story is a tragic tale and a warning for those who are too naive or too innocent to recognize the dangers of this world combined with the carelessness of the parents who took care of her.
Hi Daniel. I agree with your understanding of the story being a warning about strangers. Strangers can be very dangerous which is why it is always important to practice personal safety and privacy. I agree that the story is very tragic and in my opinion a little terrifying. It’s scary because of how realistic it seems and how easily something like this can happen today if someone is not careful or to someone who tends to think “it wouldn’t happen to me.” This story is definitely a warning for those that are too naive or careless about the world around them.
The article By Rena Korb discusses some of the different ways in which critics have interpreted the short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” By Joyce Carol Oates. Many critics-and myself- enjoyed the story for how beautifully and well written the short story is. “for its critical interpretation, it can also be enjoyed as a finely crafted story.” I found myself feeling the same emotions as Connie and extremely creeped out by Arnold. I felt actual goosebumps and fear during the conversation between Connie and Arnold due to how realistic it felt. Growing up I was always told about these type of people and to stay away from them and safe safe. Reading this situation, I couldn’t help but notice how easily possible this situation could occur in real life and I empathized with Connie. One critic analysis I had not considered was the comparison of Arnold Friend and the devil. “…similarities between Arnold Friend and the devil: his disguise, his supernatural knowledge of the whereabouts of Connie’s family, his ability to lure Connie to him against her will, even his very name, which is by no coincidence close to ‘Arch Fiend’” I think taking a supernatural route is extremely interesting and a critical analysis I agree with.