Composition Essay 1 was a learning experience for me. While reading The Transformative Power of Beauty, I grasped how important the task of strictly following rules of structure and rightfully using secondary sources must be. It was not easy for me to identify strengths and weaknesses in the sample essay without making general statements. I needed to be clear in showing where the thesis was not accurate, where textual evidence had been well used, and where the student could have used Rader’s perspective. The exercise made me remember how important it is to address all the sources to be addressed, and not just the primary source.
I also recognize that a good conclusion does not merely paraphrase, but one must also restate the thesis and leave an impression. I will double-check in future assignments in being mindful of how I frame my conclusions and thesis statements and make them concise, clear, and straightforward. I will also better incorporate the secondary sources into my analysis rather than adding them in as an afterthought. This activity has allowed me to be more capable of seeing what it takes to make an essay not only good, but interesting and well-supported.
5 thoughts on “Zoe Jimenez Discussion 5”
I really like how you reflected on the importance of structure and properly using secondary sources. I also agree that a strong conclusion should do more than just repeat the thesis.
Kadiatou, please be sure to meet the length requirements for comments to colleagues so you can get full credit.
Hi Zoe,
I liked reading your thoughts on Essay 1. I had a similar experience with feedback and learned how important it is to follow the structure and use secondary sources well. It’s great that you’re working on making your thesis and conclusions stronger.
I’m also trying to use secondary sources better in my essays. Let’s keep improving together. You’re doing great.
Zoe, thank you for your comments. Hardly anyone in the the class (both sections) noticed that the Rader article is not about the transformative power of beauty. Beauty is not mentioned in the article, which focuses on the idea of identity. If students do not know the article is not about beauty, it’s like they also will not catch the fact that the quotes in the student essay are not in the Rader article. Everyone has to read carefully and understand all parts of this assignment.
Zoe, thank you for your comments. Hardly anyone in the the class (both sections) noticed that the Rader article is not about the transformative power of beauty. Beauty is not mentioned in the article, which focuses on the idea of identity. If students do not know the article is not about beauty, it’s like they also will not catch the fact that the quotes in the student essay are not in the Rader article. Everyone has to read carefully and understand all parts of this assignment. Also, please do not change anything under “Category Sticky” when you post.