What I believe is ineffective about this student’s sentence is that it doesn’t give readers much information about the short story “Araby” by James Joyce to understand the statement made. I believe that a little bit more details describing the narrator would have been helpful to the sentence’s effectiveness. What this sentence is lacking is details; information to support the statement. The student mentions that “…the author encourages readers to examine the intricate character of the nameless narrator and the complexity of the human condition.” Upon what information is their statement made? That information should be included in their sentence to strengthen it. Here’s how I would rewrite it to offer specific details that would be informative to a reader: In the compelling short story “Araby” by James Joyce, the author encourages readers to examine the intricate character of the nameless narrator who’s only joy seem to come from fantasying of a young girl from his neighborhood and getting her a gift from the araby, and the complexity of the human condition.
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One thought on “Fils Stephen Discussion 4”
Fils, I like your rewritten sentence without the reference to “the complexity of the human condition.” This phrase has no real meaning unless you can illustrate it with specific scenes/details from the story.